School Daze
Additional content written by MixMassBasher.
To Chancellor Neighsay,
Guess who's back, bitch? You thought shutting down my school would be the end of seeing my fucking face? Well, too bad! You're sadly mistaken! As a matter of fact, I'm going to write a report every time to your ugly-ass face about how my glorious school is superb without your so-called E.E.A standards. This is Equestria. It's a free country where we can to do whatever shit we want. Like opening a school for instance.
What does E.E.A even stand for again? Equestria's Egotistical Assholes? Rainbow would certainly fit right in with you.
Where do I even start with this report... Oh, I know! Let's start off with how my wondrous school came to be. After my castle map thingy farted out a new DLC expansion pack for Equestria borders, I figured I should start up a school and get other creatures to help lighten up my personal princess friendship duties further spread the magic of friendship. But, of course, making a school isn't cheap, so I had no choice but to asked my ex-mentor for help.
Urgh! Just admitting that I need help makes me want to barf...
Surprisingly, she turned out to be very helpful in the making of my school. Guess saving her majesty's stoney ass last time actually paid off. Then again... she did lead me right to you, you repulsive dick. Well, fuck, Trollestia strikes again!
At the very least, I was able to create my school; Twilight's School for Sexy Unicorns of Friendship. I even made my friends the new teachers of my school. Think about it. My friends have absolutely no clue what they're usually talking about and most of the time they can be as unhelpful as fuck. They're the perfect teachers that represent our modern era. So now, school is in session. And it was a blast. Although, my frien— I mean colleagues seem to be bored out of their minds with the new workload I put them through. This is just perfect! I'm glad I started this school.
Yet, problems arose during Friends and Family Day when some students decided to play hookey during Rainbow's lessons. Guess they paid attention to Rainbow's lesson on how not to pay attention in class. I can only figure that since I have followed to E.E.A standards thus far, it can only mean that your standards have failed to take into account proper security standards for schools to prevent such misconduct by students. Maybe your acronym should mean Equestria's Excremental Authority.
And you have the balls to shout in my face that my school's failure is all my fault!?! How about I rip off your tiny nuts and feed them to Fax Machine! Then I dare you to say that to my face again! As if a mere magical lock will stop the Element of Magic from reopening my school. However, I first need to find those annoying students that caused all these problems to begin with. Because what kind of Headmistress would I be if I do not punish those that disobey me. These students seem to realize that they would face my wrath as they were in hiding. The bad news was that the students misguided actions had political consequence as the leaders of the different races of Equestria were thinking that they had kidnaped each others representative. And if you weren't too busy insulting the other diplomats, you would realize that it was actually your fault that we may have a multispecies war on the horizon. For a unicorn of high standards, you sure are as dumb as a dirt pony.
Thankfully we found the students before they could become pincushions for puckwudgies. Amateurs. Time to show them how we teachers get the job done. After the battle, my students were so amazed that they forgot that they were in trouble. They started begging to not be separated from each other and how that they are all in this together. Oh how precious... Pfft... who cares about their needs. What about mine? What I want is to reopen my school.
School would have been back in session straight away if you had not butted in saying you shall not pass like some overrated wizard I met a while back. Though I doubt you'll get any whiter than you are now even if you died and reincarnate right then and there. Also, how is it that you failed once more to notice that you proclaim the pony race's interest is more important than other races right in front of the other diplomats. Again! Just how blind are you! Or has staying in that dark room with your associates consequently made you so unable to adjust to sunlight that you can't even see two hooves in front of you? Open a curtain in there, for Celestia's sake!
And, silly unicorn, don't you know it's only the alicorn race that's superior? We're a mix of all of your so called mighty three races. So piss off, you wannabe Snape. I'll handle my school my way. You think I'm scared of you? I have seen horseshit for the past few seasons. From being an ex-student to being a princess, I faced criticism all around. Face it. I can handle a simple being like you. I won. Checkmate. Game over. One for Twilight, zero for you.
Now, I just need to deal with the disobedient students. And I'll discipline them my way. Sex Ed Style About the value of reputation, education and friendship. Nothing in particular here. Just a headmistress teaching students... stuff... hehe.
Your new headmistress,
Princess Twilight Sparkle
Dear Twilight Sparkle,
So you tried following the directions of an authoritative figure and the real solution was to use your own methods? You made this same mistake with Starswirl. Honesty, you seem to pay attention to the friendship lessons you learn even less than our students.
Your guidance counselor,
Starlight Glimmer
To Chancellor Neighsay,
You just got told off that not everypony has to comply with your standards? Join the club.
Your fellow pony with high standards,
Zesty Gourmand
Dear Ingrates Students,
Any thoughts on your teachers and new school?
-Chancellor Neighsay
To Chancellor Neighsay,
It would be more awesome if the staircases in our school rotate around to other sections of the school.
-Silverstream
To Chunkellur Na1ghsey,
Yona thinks E.E.A worst. E.E.A Smash!
-Yona
Dear Chancellor Buttface,
Get a life.
-Gallus
To Chancellor Neighsay,
So, you're the one that nearly separated me and my friends? You. Me. Gauntlet of Fire. Tomorrow.
-Smolder
Dear Chancellor Neighsay,
Your E.E.A standards were the very reason another school I was studying in was closed down. I had to leave behind my old friends, and all the effort that went into studying was wasted. How do you expect me to get a degree and get a job to support my family? At the very least, provide some compensation for the time I wasted rotting behind those school walls. But you didn't. So like Principal Twilight said, piss off.
-Sandbar
Dear Chancellor Neighsay,
No comment.
-Ocellus
Dear most favorite cousin,
I'm doing okay. Still grounded, but I'm okay. How's school so far? I bet it's awesome! It's awesome, right? Hope you're making lots of friends. Say hi to Pinkie for me! But if you're scared... don't you worry. Change can happen. It's scary sometimes, and we don't know if we'll like it or not. However, in the end, it's a new start. A new beginning. Especially for you. Even to everyone else there. Just don't let one small thing get to you and you'll be just fine. Harmony will find a way.
Your most favorite cousin,
Princess Skystar
The mane six (minus Twilight) were all resting in the teacher's lounge. They were all huddled around something particular.
"So that's what it says. It is rather odd." Rarity commented.
"I know, right?" Rainbow exclaimed.
"I don't know. I like number eight just fine." Applejack replied.
"I like number five, as well. I just love surprises!" Pinkie cheerfully replied.
"Though number three and nine seem awfully scary," Fluttershy meekly uttered.
"What the fuck are you doing with that?" Twilight Sparkle shouted as she entered the lounge, startling the five friends. Twilight immediately used her magic to toss what they were looking at into the trash bin.
"Now get back to work!" Twilight shouted, even louder this time.
"Bitch," Applejack uttered under her breath.
"What was that?" Twilight snapped.
"Nothing!" Applejack answered back as she left with the rest.
Now, the teachers' lounge was empty. With only a lone item that Twilight threw away sitting among the trash that surrounds it. A gust of wind blew in from the window beside it, opening the book.
DA SKOOL RULES (E.E.A Approved)
The proper rules and requirements for any school to meet the standards of the E.E.A.
1) For students there must be at minimum; a cool pony, a goth pony, a jock stallion, a popular mare, the new pony, the nerd pony and multiple other ponies that can mostly be ignored.
2) If you are aiming to create a Japonese school, please refer to page five for further instructions of those standards.
3) There must be a Prom Night. But ensure that no student pranks the prom king and queen with pigs blood as this led to a previous school to be burnt down in the aftermath.
4) Students must sing at random intervals of times about their school life during school hours.
5) There must be always be surprise test that nopony has no chance to study before hoof.
6) For P.E., student's gym partners should not be monkeys.
7) Teachers Day is not a vacation day for teachers but for the students.
8) Apples are the required snack that teachers are allowed to receive from students as gifts if they want to.
9) Punishment for misconduct by students would be to write a five hundred word essay in their blood with an enchanted quill.
10) If you happen to notice that a group of ponies; a red, pink, yellow, black and blue pony, are missing from your class, it is nothing for you to be concerned about.
-Page 1-
Dear Chancellor Neighsay,
I completely understand where you're coming from when you're out for the betterment of Equestria. If I may be so bold as to offer a suggestion?
How about building a wall to keep the undesirables out?
Sincerely,
Filthy Rich
Dear Fluttershy,
Apparently, we need to spend more time together so you can tell the difference between an impersonator and the real thing.
I simply cannot believe you fell for that ridiculous impression.
Sincerely,
Rarity
Dear Silverstream,
I'm currently trying to figure out why you were so hyped about stairs.
If memory serves, there was a metric fuckton of stairs leading up to Mount Aris.
Surely you would have flown over those on your way here?
Sincerely,
Princess Twilight Sparkle
Dear Gallus and Sandbar,
Why is it that every new male character we encounter turns out to be gay?
Sincerely,
Pinkie Pie
Dear Pinkie Pie,
Can you think of a better way to hold off Headmistress Twilight's advances?
Sincerely,
Gallus and Sandbar
Sooo... Maybe we weren't as done as we thought. 
I have to admit, I missed this.
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YES!
Hope you all like the new cover art.
Also,
Welcome back!!!
OMG that new cover art.
It's back again in all its glory!
We knew you couldn't quit us baby. Hilarious as always.
The "to" is unneeded.
My dearest Mistress... Headmistress (ohhh, yesss) Princess Twilight Sparkle,
I thought you were sexy before, but now, with your new title, Headmistress... you have reached levels of sexiness previously unheard of even by your goddess-like status. Please, my Mistress Headmistress Princes Twilight Sparkle, punish me! Teach me a very sexy lesson! I have been very bad and need the firm hoof a Headmistress to show me right from wrong. But be careful, I suffer from a very sexy learning disability. I call it sexlexia.
Signed your loyal slave and naughty pupil,
Neko Majin C.
~KBO.
Maybe it's nostalgia, but I kinda like that show
Out of retirement, I see! :D
IT RETUUUUUURNS!!!!! **fiddles with PipBuck and blasts the Ode to Joy**
Rule ten will eventually have to be amended to include a green pony. And maybe white, gold, silver, orange, violet, gray, dark blue, and light blue as well.
8923385
Hell, make it every known color in the spectrum.
IIRC...Orange doesn't show up outside of fanfiction...
PS: At least one of them has to be named Tomato Olive (Or Tommy for short)
GO, GO, POWER RANGERS!
That last image...
Hey guys. Guys. Guys. Hey guys.
I think she found stairs.