Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by milesprower06

Bonus Chapter: Terror Attack In Whorelando Leaves 50 Infertile

THE FOAL FREE PRESS
TERROR ATTACK IN WHORELANDO NIGHTCLUB LEAVES 50 INFERTILE

Tragedy stuck the Whorelando area today when a unicorn burst into a nightclub and attacked innocent ponies with a rapid-fire infertility spell, becoming the latest of a string of Mooslim extremist terror attacks across Equestria. The nightclub, Flare, is known as a hotspot for gay Whorelandoans.

The unicorn has been identified as 28-year old Tumen Fuqing. His father claimed that he wasn't a radical mooslim, but he was mentally unstable and got angry when he saw two stallions kissing.

Two hours after the attack began, SMUT (Special Magic Utilization Tactics) teams were on the scene and vaporized the terrorist.

Whorelando's colt-cuddlers and filly foolers are urging the community to not use this attack as fuel for anti-mooslim rhetoric.

"They are no different than Celestian extremists, who have also carried out acts of terror recently, and who also claim same sex marriage is a sin, even though Princess Celestia has never said anything of the sort. What the Whorelando community needs right now is love."

SIDE COLUMN
PRINCESS TWILIGHT'S TWO BITS

So, the attack in Whorelando.

Let me get this straight. Hehe, straight. This was viewed as a tragedy? Um, they're gay. Why the fuck would an infertility spell even matter?

-TS

Comments

[MixMassBasher]

That final comment hit the marker in making me laugh. Great job!

[Ghostfriendly]

Um, gay ponies might still want to have children through IVF or surrogate motherhood. Not very sensitive there Twilight.

[Biker_Dash]

too soon...
FUCKIN YES! LOVE IT!

[BronyWriter]

The unicorn has been identified as 28-year old Tumen Fuqing.

Lost it at that. Well done.

[F14m3rz]

*Reads title...*
DAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh my gosh, that's so wrong!... Yeah, I'm going to hell.

PRINCESS TWILIGHT'S TWO BITS
So, the attack in Whorelando.
Let me get this straight. Hehe, straight. This was viewed as a tragedy? Um, they're gay. Why the fuck would an infertility spell even matter?
-TS

Yup, just got a first class ticket to the ninth circle for laughing at this. Anyone else?
But yeah, great way to parody this.

[casualbrony10]

Normally this story is funny, but I can't laugh at this chapter, it just made me sad cause it's so soon. My heart goes out to all those innocent people and their families. I'm not offended, but this chapter just feels wrong.

[re- Yamsmos]

Christ, Miles.

Good job.

[milesprower06]

7299835 I can understand why you'd think that way, but I posted a blog entry addressing concerns of "too soon".

Parodying a tragedy takes away the power of those that caused them. Instead of screaming anti-muslim or gun-control rhetoric that so much of the internet is doing currently, I wrote this.

If I can make myself laugh over this, and get others to, it takes power away from Omar and whatever god he killed in the name of.

My increasingly dark sense of humor is just how I deal with this cruel, dark, senseless world. Thank you for not taking offense.

[Hclegend]

7299719

Twilight has been portrayed as a complete bitch throughout the entire story.
This comment from her is not surprising in the slightest.
For real though, are you honestly going to suggest legitimate parenthood methods in a story which has someone named "Tumen Fuqing"?

[Delerious]

You're the Frankie Boyle of FIMFiction, m8. Cheers.

[Ghostfriendly]

Poe's law; there's nothing written in jest by a satirist that couldn't be written seriously by a (fill in term of abuse here). Seriously, I get it now that the story is supposed to be tasteless. And now I've actually heard about the Orlando shooting...bad taste has limits.

[milesprower06]

7299953 Then when it hits that limit, does it go from bad taste to tasteless? Not sure, but I believe this story has easily been both.

[Blitz the Dragon]

Okay, this was pretty good.

[Ghostfriendly]

Tasteless=bad taste=without good taste. The other side of the line is offensive. I know what you're aiming at; It's fair satire to portray terrorists as absurd or idiotic. But as ineffectual, when 50 people are dead? I just didn't like that, I'm afraid.

[Obsidian_Winter]

Bad form. People died not two days ago. I get what you went for. You missed.

[milesprower06]

7300001 Last I checked, not liking something is completely, entirely allowed. Carry on.

[The_Grey_Knight]

It was obviously because there needs to be more spell regulation, not because he was a radical mooslim and announced it.

[Samey90]

Dude, just when I thought you can't get any lower than with the last chapter, you prove me wrong. On a side note, given that the last chapter that was actually related to the episode was The Saddle Row Review and we had three eps since then, I guess it's time to rename this fic to "Shit I Should Write a Blog About, But This Story Has More People Reading It".

[Deprecated Unicum]

It's the same as that guy who made the more like no pulse club joke, couldn't help but chuckle.

[milesprower06]

7300048 I write when I'm inspired.

So I suppose you could like, check the chapter name when there's an update alert, and if it's not an episode, you could keep scrolling.

Just an idea.

[CassandraMyOCisBestpony]

As always, the victims are invited to Twilight's castle for conciliatory sex. What, you think she's above exploiting a tragedy?

[Phazon]

Well this was boring. And all this time you were preemptively telling people who might be offended by a parody chapter to fuck off, when all you really did was a retelling of the tragedy with sex puns. Not pony puns, just generic sex puns. I'm sorry, but this just didn't hit the mark with me.

[Samey90]

7300067
Seriously? "Don't like it, don't read"? Are we a bunch of teens on fanfiction.net now?

Though I suppose you're right. Why do I even bother reading this anymore? Neither entertaining, nor enlightening, and given the author has to reach for cheap controversy to keep it going, way past its prime. Fare thee well and don't bother replying.

[Imperator Chiashi Zane]

7299833 We're on the Highway to Hell!

[Jman14102]

The unicorn has been identified as 28-year old Tumen Fuqing.

Tumen Fuqing.

Oh god Miles, you glorious bastard, we're both going to hell for this!

[Neko Majin C]

Tragedy stuck the Whorelando area today when a unicorn burst into a nightclub and attacked innocent ponies with a rapid-fire infertility spell

Extra space.

The unicorn has been identified as 28-year old Tumen Fuqing.

"Twenty-eight" should be written out. Also, Tumen Fuqing? Hilarious. Did you know Tumen and Fuqing are cities in China? Because I did not.

---

---

---

Dear Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle,

I suppose the infertility spell destroyed hundreds of millions of potential lives? If those stallions ever wanted to conceive through artificial insemination, they will not be able to. Though, I guess there is always still magical fart babies.

Signed your loyal slave who came to this world to escape this kind of stuff,
Neko Majin C.

---

---

---

~KBO.

[Twilightisthebest]

As much as I liked this chapter, we should not talk about tragedies like this at all. Not Because of being insensitive but because of all the attention everyone brings to matters like this. People who want to do things like this are egged on by the fact that all the media will be talking about them for a bit. They become infamous, Everybody knows about them

[JumpingShinyFrogs]

7299719 I don't know how you managed to get this far in while still expecting 'sensitivity'. This story established long ago that it wasn't going to try and hold any pretense of tact or sensitivity.

[SuperPinkBrony12]

Too soon? Maybe.

Funny? Absolutely.

[walters host]

What's this? Controversial humor? BLASPHEMY! Sound the alarm, call the fire department and get as many safe spaces set up as possible!

[Alex Warlorn]

Bad taste. This isn't dark humor, or sex jokes or toilet humor... this just bad taste.

[Alex Warlorn]

7300008

Agreed. Even for this fanfic that thrives on lowbrow humor, this is over the line.

[casualbrony10]

7299845 That's understandable, the point of writing, like any art, is to get a response from the viewer. I just hope you are ready for negative responses and outrage on this. The wound is still raw so it's hard to ease the pain with humor, pretty much reduced to hit and miss. I like that you had the courage to write this, most authors don't like to go anywhere near real life stuff, especially like this. It's nice to laugh and forget the terrible things in the world, but at the same time this piece is also a reminder. Responses to this will be very mixed. It will get better later once everyone has had a chance to heal, there are comedians that make 9/11 jokes now and the audience laughs. However, for now, the pain drowns out everything else.

[articunos bitch]

Whorelando

I called it Oatslando, but this is much better.

rapid-fire infertility spell

They're weren't exactly going to have many children anyway, but that's besides the point I guess.

His father claimed that he wasn't a radical mooslim,

Damn camels.

Um, they're gay. Why the fuck would an infertility spell even matter?

True dat.

[TyVulpine]

Too soon, dude, too soon.

[Lavender_Raindrops]

Oh, you.

It's not 'you're a horrible person' terrible but it is kinda edgy. I think people coming down on it are overreacting a bit much. I don't think Twilight's comment at the end works as well as the jokes in your other work. Most of your stuff rates an eyeroll and a smile. This one rates a roll of the eyes and a slow shake of the head.

[Lavender_Raindrops]

7300764 I very much doubt radicalized (self or otherwise) religious extremists are hanging out on Fimfic getting off to goofy horse fic. That's what Fox news is for.

[kooarbiter]

Hey miles don't worry about people givin you flak, most of them seem to be kids stuck in a liberal arts safe space, once they pull their stick from their arses and realize that comedy is a perfectly fine way to greive and deal with tragedy, they'll come back but I do have one question...

so, would radical mooslims get angrier if you drew moohammed as fat or skinny, also I'm fucking losing it at the whorelando bit

[2weirdy]

I don't get it.

What does it matter when an event happened? It does not make it any less tragic. Thus, it does not make it any more tasteless making jokes about more recent events.

I'm not saying whether or not this story is tasteless or not (I have almost no sense of tact; so I'm naturally a bad judge of those things). I'm saying that "too soon" is a horrible argument.

Essentially, if you laugh at any tragedy in any point in time, I'm calling you hypocritical if you then condemn this story for being tasteless based upon release date.

Oh yeah, and I found this funny. Then again, I'm the kind of person who would laugh at even the darkest of humor. Good thing I'm an atheist, otherwise I'd believe I'd go to hell for that.

Edit:
Of course, it is an exception if you or someone you personally know were directly affected. In that case, carry on.

[kooarbiter]

7303025

well two ponies were having sex on a toilet during the incident, does that help?

[euphgeek]

The reactions remind me of what some famous comedians have said. George Carlin joked about rape after saying that some people say you can't joke about that. "Just picture Porky Pig raping Elmer Fudd!" Bill Maher frequently offends his audience and then berates them for reacting negatively. Jerry Seinfeld won't play for college campuses anymore. So you're in very good company making these kinds of jokes. Keep on keeping on.

[StormLuna]

When you get back to work on this, there is so much right now you could do with the current events going on, the virus and the civil unrest. Also, what would a good ponified version of China or Wuhan be?