Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by milesprower06

A Dog and Pony Show

Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06

A Dog and Pony Show

Dear Princess Celestia,

Quite an interesting day today. First, Spike ran off to help Rarity gather up gems, because frankly, she's a neat, prissy little whore who doesn't want to do her own dirty work. But what's her game? I'd like to know how she's doing it. Is she seducing him? Brainwashing him? Just purposefully leading him on? Whatever it is, I'd like some tips, because he's a lazy little fucker when he's 'assisting' me in the library.

So I was hanging out with the others in town when Spike comes up to us freaking out. He takes us to where this incident occurred, and over the next few minutes, we all found ourselves outsmarted by some damn dogs. Yeah, dogs. I'm telling you, Princess, we have GOT to start cracking down on these other species. I think I remember Pinkie mentioning something about eating hot dogs during her commentary of the Running of the Leaves. She may be a drug addict, but she has some good ideas now and then.

During the initial fishing attempts (don't ask), Spike got horny again, and tried to make out with Applejack, but was flatly rejected. We actually got a bite, and got pulled into a network of caves. During our search, we started fantasizing about Rarity slaving away for these dogs, and how she's afraid of getting dirty. Did you know Rarity won't even touch mud unless it's imported? What is it about Griffon and Minotaur mud products, anyway? Maybe it's not mud at all.

Now you're not going to believe what happened next. When we finally found her, she had somehow managed to rescue herself. These 'Diamond Dogs' were cowering and annoyed, begging us to take her away. Then Rarity hooked us up to a cart of jewels each.

So all in all, today was just a big fucking waste of time where Rarity got “kidnapped” and then made us do her heavy pulling.

That stupid, beautiful, sexy cunt.

Your laboring former student,
Twilight Sparkle

Comments

[GeodesicDragon]

I laughed. Hard.

[Impoxdragon]

I like it. A bit short though.

[TheMyth]

I can't wait for the Grand Galloping Gala

[White Wolf]

I can't wait for Season 2's opener: Return of Harmony.

[Mossflower]

we have to see a response from celestia at some point, or at least hear her thoughts on this!dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Twilight_Sparkle.png

[DavidPony]

[Aru]

End is perfect. But i would like to see some response from Celestia too....

[walters host]

"Maybe its not mud at all!"
encrypted-tbn1.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT2l263JRNwXXWh1DBf-WWfeFsizS3qRSmrHLxXx5fl-l-pOtoyqg

[RaptorCalloftheShadows]

1068778

(M Bison) YES! ...YES!!!

[Natzo]

That stupid, beautiful, sexy cunt.

[Xuncu]

Phat stacks and bitches.

[infinite scratch]

Too bad gems are worthless in the ponyverse

[kiwiman40]

This was the funniest one in a while

[Sunny Spice]

1069500
Not worthless, just not valuable. They're good for making things look all shiny pretty, and for being a dragon's snack.

[Grtgfbll]

1068639 1068767 Imagine how the one(s) for the wedding will go...dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Twilight_crazy.png

[infinite scratch]

1069878

Oh and high powered lasers now that I think about it

[user12345678]

1069116

scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw5494-1338655800908.gif

[White Wolf]

1069893

Gawd, i can see it now.

Twilight sees Celestia's defeat and thinks:" And she's ruling this place?"

[Grtgfbll]

1070375 I was kinda thinking more along the lines of how she would take the news, but yeah, that too

[SergeantShenanigans]

Awesome.

[jakol]

I thought this was gonna be good.

[BBJBS]

Fuck sleep. Story updated.

[milesprower06]

1071117 I keep telling everypony. I can't make every episode hilarious. There are bound to be duds.

[RedvsBlue327]

1071316 "I keep telling everypony. I can't make every episode hilarious."

Fellow trolls, the recommended technique against this author has been found. Commence annoying spambardment.

[milesprower06]

1071550 I highly advise against that. I don't hesitate to block ne'er-do-well's.

[SirLadette]

Twilight's opinion on Rarity...I know that feel bro.

[Teashakes]

"That stupid, beautiful, sexy cunt."
Yes.

[Bloodpool]

Brilliant!

[jakol]

1071316

Sorry, by that I meant that I was right.

I'm a bit concerned for when you get to "putting your hoof down" because twilight isn't even involved.

I love McBitchypants . Keep it up!

[RainbowsAreMagic]

Well done, once again.

[milesprower06]

1073552 I'm not giving any thought to Season 2 yet. I may end up doing them with whoever wrote the episode in the episode. That's if I do Season 2.

[jakol]

1073704

i hope you do.

these are fucking encrypted-tbn1.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRVHH3rzXcG2zK33dhYS1j0O13-nhXLLue38ZoJRPx7ofuNQXHn3Q

[pononymous]

1071040
Plus there's the whole "Since when did I have a brother?" joke

[Grtgfbll]

1075707 Not to mention the "JUST HOW MANY ALICORNS ARE THERE?!?" gag.

[pononymous]

1075758
I really wish I could find that comic that had Shining Armor questioning Twilight being his sister, in one of the panels I remember he says something about how he thought she was just a filly who always hung out at the house and that his parents never mentioned her before, but I can't find it at all HELP ME PLEASE!

[fluttershywriter]

BRILLIANT. I love evil Twilight Sparkle.

[PrinceLexmarkThePrinted]

Pretty short, but DAAAYYYYUMN was it funny. Bitchy Twilight is best Twilight.

[Frankie]

I bet you Twilight wanted to get Rarity's 'most precious gem' at that point.

[Namara]

are u doing season 2?

[milesprower06]

1110485 I'm not sure yet.

[Namara]

1111282 you should. it would be great to see twi's reaction to the royal wedding!

[dagonboy6666]

1068767

I bet Discord's attempts will back fire and instead of get Twilight to hate her friends she now loves how they are behaving

[milesprower06]

1111290 If I do, I'm going to plan ahead, and make sure I'm able to parody all episodes.

And I'm not sure if I want to have her friends do their episode's letters. Since Twilight isn't in all of them.

[White Wolf]

1112275

I think it'll be like: "Finally someone other than Princess Crap For Brains . Let him give it a shot. He can't be that bad."

[Marching Thunder]

You can't help but hope that at some point Twilight will score with somepony, but you know if she does the plot/laugh device goes away unless done really well...

[Rarityshy]

This should prove to Twilight that Rarity isn't stupid, she got everyone else to do all her work.

[Enmar]

its all in the brainwashing

[SuperPinkBrony12]

1069116

[keaton-furman-prower]

Dear Twilight Sparkle:

I am disappointed by the fact that you allowed a lesser being to use you for slave labor. I was hoping you'd learn to assert your will upon Rarity, and instead you got used as a work horse.
Furthermore, you ought to neuter Spike

Your disappointed former teacher, Princess Celestia.

P.S.: Of course it's not mud

[Neutrinos are Magic]

Unicorn master race!