Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by milesprower06

The End in Friend

Additional contributions by MixMassBasher.

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Dear Rarity,

How could you not understand how to play the game at all?! I thought you like playing with balls.

Your ex-friend,
Rainbow

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Dear Rainbow,

I would say the same to you. I thought you always dress in style.

Your ex-friend,
Rarity

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Dear Rainbow and Rarity,

You forgot one more thing of why you're both friends. You're both attention whores.

Sincerely,
Headmistress Twilight

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Dear Twilight,

You're one to talk. You're obsessed with balls and have a terrible track record of getting them anywhere near you in the first place.

Sincerely,
Rainbow Dash and Rarity

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To Vacuum Cleaner,

Great job using the azurantium in the Amulet of Aurora to lead Rarity and Rainbow on a wild goose chase.

Now clean it all up.

Your Headmistress,
Twilight Sparkle

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Dear Rivet,

As you oversaw the construction of the school and all connecting passages and doors, I really hope that that one secret swamp door was a fluke and not every door in this place can be opened with a stiletto heel.

If not, you've got some maintenance to do.

Sincerely,
Headmare Twilight Sparkle

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To the desk of Headmare Twilight Sparkle,

You could bring in Manehattan's best construction team; you're not going to have much luck keeping out a unicorn that has Lockpicking at 100.

How else do you think she opens doors with a fucking shoe?

Sincerely,
Rivet, Owner of Ponyville Erections

P.S. No, not those kind of erections. I feel like I have to clarify that. Sorry.

Author's Note:

Comments

[FanOfMostEverything]

Dear Professors Rarity and Rainbow Dash,

So... this is another one of those "lessons by counterexample," right?

Right?

Sincerely,
Your very confused students

[Neko Majin C]

To Rarity and Rainbow Dash,

Ladies, ladies, enough bickering. You are both just awful. Seriously though, why are you two even friends? Only here in Ponyville and in slice of life cute girls doing cute things yuri anime with absolutely no male characters or anyone over eighteen years old except for loli teachers would two people/ponies with such clashing personalities ever be friends. Either stay away from each other, or fuck and get it over with.

Signed Mistress Headmistress Princess Twilight Sparkle's loyal slave and not so secret otaku,
Neko Majin C.

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~KBO.

[Alex Warlorn]

9624032
Remember kids, it's perfectly fine to string along people into reconciling, it's not like your meddling is far more likely to make things worse, and alienate YOU to your friends in the processing, making them lose not just each other's friendship, but also yours...