Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by milesprower06

Shadow Play

Additional contributions by MixMassBasher.

---

Dear Star Swirl the Bearded,

You were Celestia and Luna’s teacher? With your attitude, it was no wonder Celestia became a troll and Luna became Nightmare Moon. In fact, because you taught Celestia, she, in turn, taught Twilight into becoming the disgruntled pony she is now. What goes around comes around, I guess.

But seriously, fuck you and your jerk-ass beard.

Sincerely,
Starlight Glimmer AKA NOT A VILLAIN ANYMORE

---

Dear Star Swirl the Bearded,

What is it with villains and creating portals in the sky? Are you kidding me? Get with the times.

Sincerely,
Pinkie Pie

---

Dear Starlight Glimmer,

So, what’s this I hear of somepony imitating one of my magical items, the Stick of Truth?

Signed,
Mage Meadowbrook

---

Dear Star Swirl the Bearded,

So, you never took into account where you sent the sirens off to? Tell me, why are you famous again?

Sincerely,
Sunset Shimmer

---

Dear Sunset Shimmer,

We can tell you firsthoof that we couldn’t defeat the sirens through singing like you did. Star Swirl’s singing shockingly sucks.

Signed,
Flash Magnus, Mage Meadowbrook, Mistmane, Rockhoof and Somnambula

---

Dear old Teacher,

Do you happen to recall, I don’t know, a mirror portal fixing spell. There is somepony I loved that I wished to meet once again besides just staring at my reflection in pieces of mirror shards.

Signed,
Princess Celestia

---

Dear Stygian,

You got drafted by your group, too? Welcome to the club.

Your fellow footstool,
Spike

P.S. What nickname did they give you? Mine’s Fax Machine.

---

Dear diary,

Well, if there's one thing that I can take away from all of this, it's that no matter how renowned a pony may be, there's always the possibility that they wind up being kind of a fucking douche nozzle.

Makes me wonder what ponies will think of me in the years and decades to come. Sure, they love me now, but what of the generations to come?

-Princess Twilight Sparkle

---

Dear Princess Twilight,

Trust us, enjoy it while it lasts. We know how to bide our time.

After about say, oh, twenty-five or thirty years, we'll buy MLP from Hasbro, and then completely and utterly butcher everything the last generation of fans loved about the franchise, and there's nothing you can do to stop us. Screw the rules, we have money.

When we're done with you, they'll look back at Equestria Girls with fond nostalgia.

Sincerely,
Disney

Author's Note:

Comments

[Level Dasher]

Dear old Teacher,
Do you happen to recall, I don’t know, a mirror portal fixing spell. There is somepony I loved that I wished to meet once again besides just staring at my reflection in pieces of mirror shards.
Signed,
Princess Celestia

That arc made me so depressed.
Good to see you've caught up! Ready for the next season? Based on what I'm seeing (didn't watch the leaks) it's gonna do some interesting things to your versions of the characters. Maybe.

[Shadowmane PX-41]

Dear Sunset Shimmer,

We can tell you firsthoof that we couldn’t defeat the sirens through singing like you did. Star Swirl’s singing shockingly sucks.

Signed,
Flash Magnus, Mage Meadowbrook, Mistmane, Rockhoof and Somnambula

That’s some Alliteration for you.

Also, calling back to Fiendship #3 are we? You sneaky, sly little devil.

Also also, it’s Starswirl. Not Star Swirl. All one word.

[FanOfMostEverything]

Dear Spike,

Actually, I drafted them. Something the Pillars conveniently forgot about once they started thwarting evils on a regular basis, though they did keep calling me Usul.

Your fellow overlooked, yet vital member of the team,
Stygian

[MixMassBasher]

8808283
Strange. The mlp wiki said Star Swirl instead of Starswirl

[Dawn Flower]

Dear Sunset Shimmer

Please tell me how the sirens could be a threat to that world without the magic that you brought over? Why do you think I sent them to a world with no magic in the first place?

Sincerely
Star Swirl the Bearded

[Shadowmane PX-41]

8808307
But the official episode synopses say Starswirl. All one word.

[SuperPinkBrony12]

Dear Starlight Glimmer,

So, what’s this I hear of somepony imitating one of my magical items, the Stick of Truth?

Signed,
Mage Meadowbrook

Dear Mage Meadowbrook,

That's because nopony wanted to play superheroes, they broke into two warring camps over whose franchise plan was better.

And then there was this Mitch Conner pony.

Sincerely,

Grand Wizard Starlight Glimmer

[DanielLC]

Can someone hunt down the sources for the images in the author's notes? I want to see them full-size.

[Neko Majin C]

8809404
Click on the images. The images will pop out and a source will be at the bottom.

---

---

---

My dearest Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle,

Do not worry, in thirty years time, when I am thirty years older and you will have been dead for twenty years ascended to godhood, I will still fondly remember, love, and cherish you. Being your obsequious slave has been an honor and a privilege. And if you would allow me to, I would continue to be your loyal slave until the day you die ascend to godhood.

Signed your loyal slave and harbinger,
Neko Majin C.

---

---

---

~KBO.

[DanielLC]

8809668
I tried. The first image claims the source is https://static1.e621.net/data/sample/f7/5d/f75d2883c9884bb54ebfa9626fb1f47e.jpg, which just has a slightly larger thumbnail. The actual source is https://subjectnumber2394.deviantart.com/art/Equestria-s-Waning-Room-712974464 (click download for the full size).