Twilight Sparkle is being sent to Ponyville to learn about friendship. She's not happy about it.
Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06
Winter Wrap Up
Dear Princess Celestia,
Today I learned one of the most interesting things about Ponyville.
Winter only lasts one day.
Yep, you heard me right. I went to bed last night, not a flake of snow on the ground. Not even when I got up a little early to help with this annual event. But during those few hours of more sleep, BAM, white shit got everywhere. So every year after it snows, Ponyville has an annual event where they clear the snow that covers everything for one whole day. I think they call it global warming.
As you know, nothing gets a town in the mood for melting snow quite like a full length musical number. After that, we were all set to go. At first I wanted to help Rainbow gather up the birds that had flown south for one day. But I misplaced that stupid butterfly wings spell, so she had to leave without me. I went to ask Rarity if I could help making the returning birds some nests, because they totally can't do it themselves. Lazy fuckers. Spike said they could use it as an outhouse, which would be a huge improvement, since they shit on my doormat every morning.
After that, I tried skating with Pinkie. She hallucinated about being a twinkie, and then because Spike kept on messing me up, we ended up making a two pony one dragon snowman. Pinkie clearly had the lakes under control, so I went to be a second animal alarm clock for Fluttershy. Problem was, the bitch was waking up all the cute animals herself, and I was stuck with all the snakes, bats, and bees. We should have given that Filly the Exterminator show a call.
Because of those damn bees, I had to take a blood ritual bath. After that, I went over to Sweet Apple Acres, where they were clearing the snow. I envy the Everfree Forest, where the damn snow melts itself. I tried a come-to-life spell, but after my plow smacked my ass, I got distracted, and ended up causing an avalanche. That damn fax machine blamed me when the idea was his for using magic. For some reason, Rarity spent the whole damn day trying to fix my outhouse when she could have just thrown it out and continued slaving for those feathered fuckers.
As the whole town started arguing, I used a few big words to get them to shut up, and put them all to work. The nests got built, the fields plowed and seeded, the animals woken up, and Rainbow Dash's weather team got a tornado going and flung all the snow over to the next town, so it's Molestia's problem now.
Let's see that sexual deviant wrap winter up on time now.
Your organized former student,
Twilight Sparkle
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[strike]FIRST![/STRIKE] Dammit.
This chapter was meh imo.
This story is amazing! Keep it up!
Oh man, I hate making negative comments, (Really, hate it. ) but I have to agree with Zachvssparty, it was abit bland this chapter.
And what's worse is, I don't know what to suggest in making it better, so now all this comment does is radiate unhappiness...
834086 I warned everypony awhile back, there were bound to be some duds. I can only hope the next one is better. And if they don't get better, then it will be time to put this one to bed.
834103 Alright, someone else from RT!
834103 You only think that since she doesn't curse every ten seconds.
for the bees
834177 Another small FiW reference.
The only thing I can think of now is "Cutie Mark Crusader Exterminators!" and some very horrified fillies after they found out what exterminators do.
It was meh as some folks say, true. I feel some of it also had to do with lack of enthusiasm for the episode maybe? For instance, I was totally expecting some reference to Twilight enjoying everypony bowing before her whims, as it should be, when she took control. And then maybe a pot shot at Celestia about Twilight becoming the next ruler if she wasn't careful etc. "Your treasonous ruling class former student, Twilight Sparkle"
"But during those few hours of more sleep, BAM, white shit got everywhere."
The blood bath was because of the skunks not the bees.
Your Queen of the Damned Former Student,
Twilight Sparkle
I wonder how "Lesson Zero" is gonna go...
"Dear Princess Celestia,
Today, instead of using the magical hellfire that sends these letters to you, I had my fax machine burn that letter my "friends" sent to you with normal fire. Do you know why? BECAUSE NOPONY SENDS HATEMAIL TO YOU BUT ME!!!!!
834099
Well, the episode was basically all slapstick (with a musical number tacked in front). And slapstick is kind of hard to mock.
I disagree. I found that first paragraph quite amusing.
"Winter lasts only one day."
Molestia is now canon sexual deviant
This one may not have been as amusing as the others but it was still good.
I think the only reason I didn't like it as much was because of the wasted potential of the thing. Not to say that it wasn't great! It was, but I was seriously waiting for Twilight to start making fun of how they do everything without magic, saying something along the lines of "These stupid rednecks won't let me use magic, apparently it's 'taboo' or something. Probably just another one of your stupid troll rules." then I was waiting for her to start saying stuff much like Genjen said.
Either way though, this chapter was still great and I still look forward to the next one
THIS
Is a great story...
Fav'd, liked, and if you keep it up, I'll watch you too.
Seriously, this story is awesome! And you don't find me commenting this sorta things on very many stories at all. Seriously! You should be proud and very motivated to continue this.
I guess everyone has their opinion but I found this one hilarious! The one day winter and birds shitting on the doormat made me lol, and also, FiW is awesome! (I've been listening to Gypsy Bard on loop for like an hour now - It just won't let me go) Anywho, keep up the awesome work. uberSnarky/bitchy Twilight is a great spin on her regular show persona
Now that I think about it, this is probably how most kids see the show...which makes me happy.
834105 Just for clarity, this has elements from FiW, right?
P.S. Praise Smooze!
P.P.S. Filly the Exterminator? Bah! Mare Gribble's got this one under control!
"She hallucinated about being a twinkie,"
I couldn't stop laughing at that.
u didnt say fax machine in this chapter. why?
Molestai exists and is in the Winter Wrap up episode of FiW?! That's really messed up in funny way.
Molestia would have no problem with it. She'd order the town into a mass-orgy, with her logic being that all that body heat would melt the snow. Of course, it really wouldn't, but she's use her magic to make it appear that it was so she could do that every year.
Hahahahahahhaha nice.... Billy the Exterminator reference lol
Surprised she didn't make any comment about how well Ponyville operates under her stern authority instead of that dyed-mane floozy who probably slept her way into office.
Molestia I see what you did there
1638324 Next thing you know Twilight's going to insist on taking Molestia's place.
Nice "Billy the Exterminator" reference. I still remember when he got his start on "Dirty Jobs" with Mike Rowe snarking the whole time and being his usual brand of glorious jackass.
Dear Twilight Sparkle:
Are you sure you don't hibernate?
Your Faithful ruler who wishes you'd have spent a few of the last three months awake, Princess Celestia.
P.S.: When in doubt, throw shit at Molestia
the only way i can describe this fic is friendship is witchcraft narrated by either Adam Buckley or Yahtzee from zero punctuation...
I LOVE IT!
What I'd give for that now...
~Skeeter The Lurker
Lol love the fiw references. Also, screw billy the exterminater. Get the daleks up in that shit
3696830
Do you see what you have just written? It was pure genius. Absolute and utter genius.
This right here made my evening.
Molestia XD
I senece alot of witchcraft references
Funnym did not laugh as hard as the last chapter though
At least the skunks did not get Twilight this time.
KBO.
The bees weren't the real reason for the ritual bath, it was her being sprayed by the skunks that deemed it necessary.
3742444 Agreed, that was the best part
Well, okay then......
I don't think Molestia would care if it was snowy or not, that would just give her more excuses to snuggle up with a guard.
I loved this. Especially because a blood ritual bath won't heal bee-stings.
Dear Hasbro,
I have a new idea for a song parody now. Thanks.
And don't sue me like Janaminations, just BEAT IT Hasbro.
Sincerely,
Animatedjames
Global warming! Lmfao! This is one funny fic, man, good job!
6012234 Oh...That is messed up!