Castle Mane-ia
Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06
Castle Mane-ia
Dear Princess Twilight,
What part of Princess of Ponyville do you not understand? You came up here for the Summer Sun Celebration, and that's it. I do not want you here in Canterlot. I don't care what kind of research you want to do on that chest. Now go do something productive.
Sincerely and annoyingly,
Princess Celestia of Equestria
Dear Princess Celestia,
Fine. I don't need access to your royal library, I just need ANY royal library. I seem to recall from that flashback that you flew away from that castle like a bitch after you sent your sister to the moon, so I dragged Spike through to the castle, and began searching through your castle library. I couldn't find any lanterns or canisters of oil to keep from going insane, so I had to stick with candles.
Well, before too long, we started hearing screaming and organs. Ended up being my fucking friends scaring the shit out of each other. It was particularly humorous to see Fluttershy thinking Angel got crushed. Shame that didn't happen for real.
My point is, if my friends still show up to annoy me in the middle of a forest in a supposedly haunted castle, how fucking far do I have to go to get some peace and quiet?
So once I get everypony calmed the fuck down, we gather in the secret room in the library. Rarity continues repairing the banner she's going to sell on the black market, Pinkie hopped around randomly while reminding AJ and Rainbow that they were still tied in their Most Daring Pony contest, and speaking of Rainbow, she wouldn't stop blaming something called "quick-time button presses" as the reason that one of the suits of pony armor fell on her.
So if you want to keep me out of Canterlot, maybe I'll just stop writing letters to you. I haven't decided yet. But maybe I'll start a collective diary with the other five, describing our experiences in figuring out how to unlock the mysterious chest.
If you ask me, it'll be an interesting read once we finally unlock it, and I bolt away with whatever's inside, leaving the others empty-hoofed.
Sincerely,
Princess Twilight Sparkle
P.S. Tell Discord I want that scepter back.
Dear diary,
Perhaps it wasn't the best idea to bring Fluttershy along for this trip. It's just that this is extremely important; going to an abandoned castle, where nopony has been in ages, get ancient fabric, restore it, then putting it back, where nopony will go for ages.
Clearly, she needed to be here.
-Rarity
Dear diary,
Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to bring Angel along on this trip.
-Fluttershy
Dear diary,
I don't care what AJ throws at me. I'm going to win this dare competition and be on top.
...of the leaderboard.
-Rainbow Dash
Dear diary,
If Rainbow thinks she can scare me, she's got another thing coming. After all, I've walked in on my brother clopping.
...and my sister...
….and my granny...
...why the hay am I writing this down?
-Applejack
Dear diary,
-Pinkie Pie
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What? Pinkie Pie WHAT?! Nintendo?! WHAT?!
...How did she put that into a scroll...?
Pinkie's entry was perfect. Only she could embed Youtube videos on a piece of parchment.
How does Pinkie put videos on a piece of paper?
I see I'm not the first to comment on how only Pinkie can embed YouTube videos on parchment.
3559503
Because Pinkie.
3559513 Thank you!
Yeesh, you'd think after three years, we'd stop questioning Pinkie.
That is brilliant!
Sorry, AJ. Just because your Element's in the recharger doesn't mean you get out of the occupational hazards of being Bearer of Honesty.
And Pinkie reveals herself as a member of the D'ni, the ancient civilization who created the universe-traversing books of the Myst series. Well done, my dear. Well done indeed.
3559503 like a boss
3559503 you DO realize this is Pinkie you're talking about right?
You, sir, are a genius.
78 chapters.
Iv'e seen 3 stories with this many chapters,
but I can't get past 30.
Wait, so Disgruntled Twilight is willing to share a journal with the other five? I find that hard to believe.
Also, "alternate" alternate character interpretation:
So was Rarity trying to kill Fluttershy and hide the body where no one would find it?
God damnit, not the Twilicane. CAN NO ONE BUCKING ESCAPE IT?!
3559740
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3559760 It's official, Twilicane is the new 20% cooler. Who's betting someone's going to make a real life Twilicane, and ditch the Discord lamp?
surprised she didn't mention the fact that she read Celestia's diary
(Joke) Alt. Title: NO. I WON'T GET OVER IT.
It's also the entire premise of the story.
Damn QTEs, always screwing with us.
Was sort of expecting Castlevania music.
3559763
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th03.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2013/331/9/6/twi_cane_pen_by_caroarte-d6vwimw.jpg
3559852 SON OF A-- (Please stand by, mind being blown.)
Haha, ohey Amnesia reference.
3559495
Nah. Discord did that too, remember?
Dear Diary:
I always knew that Pinkie was a stoner, but I think it's passing on to me. I'm seeing YouTube videos on parchment paper!
-Princess Twilight Sparkle
~~~
Dear Princess Twilight:
I decided to sell your scepter on pBay. You wouldn't believe how many bipedal apes want it
Your enterprising former teacher, Princess Celestia.
~~~
Dear Cellie:
I just had a brilliant idea for a new product! I swear it will be all the rage this Hearth's Warming Eve!
Love, Discord.
Amnesia reference FTW
Damn stupid QTEs. One of the many reasons why Battlefield 3's campaign sucked.
Don't ask how when it comes to Pinkie. Just sit back, strap in, and enjoy the ride.
3559802 Shes saving that blackmail material for later.
These are as funny as I remember them. Now while a lot of people and ponies are commenting on this, I feel I need to voice this myself...
HOW THE FUCKING HELL DOES PINKIE PIE DO THIS SHIT????!!!!!!! THIS IS A PIECE OF PAPER!!! A DIARY ENTRY!!!!!! YET SHE MANAGES TO EMBED TWO SONGS IN HER ENTRY!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS MARE?!!!!!
3559852
Holy shit! That was quick!
Pinkie Pie: writing sound like a boss.
3559725
Well she has to practice assassinating twilight on somebody.
3559492
Because she's freaking Pinkie Pie, dammit!
After the latest episode I think we should be calling this "Diaries Of The Disgruntled Princesss of Friendship and Her Friends", since they're not going to be sending letters to Princess Celestia anymore.
Just a thought.
Um, pardon my ignorance but what is this Quick Time Button Presses thing Dash spoke of?
3561358
That's a pretty good idea!
3561358 Not when 90% of it is still letters to Celestia.
3561470 Guess it depends on how the diary dynamic plays out in the actual show.
3561386 Quick time events are events in video games where you must perform a certain action by pressing a specific button on a control pad. It's often the A button so another common name for them is "Presss A to not die". They can be really annoying since a lot of times they give you no warning and often have very small windows.
3561525 I see, thank you.
3561549 Yeah, they're annoying.
dammit, now i want to play those games again
3559802 This. The Diary of the two Pony Sisters. Oh, the FUN that could be had...
As always a great little chapter, I only found this story shortly before the new season started. I lucked out in that I didn't have to wait and wonder for too long where it would go after season 3 ended. Anyways I look forward to how this dairy of the disgruntled six goes!
Also the dairy entries at the end were pretty funny!
But really... the Apple family household... 
3559886 I just wanted to say I look forward to your responses almost as much as I do the actual chapters!
3559523 3560894
Yeah, I know, right? C'mon, people, it only took Twilight one episode!
3559523 I know right?!
Why are people still reading this crap?
3562726 Ah, you must be one of the 225 downvotes.
I don't know why they're individually reading it. I would hope because they find it funny.
As for you, scram.
3562814
Well excuuuse me for being one of the few who actually likes Twilight Sparkle and her character and dislike those who mutilate her character and the rest of Equestria... The first few chapters were funny enough, but then it got old.
I'm just surprised this story is still being continued...
I knew it was going to be Pinkie, too damn obvious. I really hope they go more into those "star spiders" Fluttershy was talking about, foreshadowing maybe? Castle is 2spooky4mane6. Also the callback scenes with the old Element holding thing and where Luna went batshit insane for 3 minutes (nice shot by the way). At least they're working on the box instead of shoving it to the end of the season, I think. You know Rarity, I'm pretty sure you could get some backers for a restoration of the whole castle if you ask the right ponies *wink wink nudge nudge honk honk*. Thought stream, enjoy.
So what's Spike think?
3563077 Sucks to be you, I suppose. Go read something you like. Telling others that a story they like is "crap" will get you nowhere here.