Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by milesprower06

Friendship Games

Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06

Friendship Games

---

Dear Rainbow Dash,

The following scenarios can be considered emergencies:

-Someone is hurt
-Magical threat

Your inability to rock out does not fall under any of those categories. I mean come on, you're the lead guitarist of our band, and you don't have spare strings in your case, but Sunset, our backing guitarist, does?

Maybe we have this backwards.

-Applejack

---

"Alright, everyone. Let's not get too competitive before the games even start." Applejack said, breaking up Rainbow Dash and Indigo Zap

"The games aren't really competitive since we've never lost." Sugarcoat sneered.

"That's not a very nice thing to say." Fluttershy mused.

"Sorry dearie, but these games aren't about being nice." Sunny Flare interjected.

"O... Oh. I'm terribly sorry. We must be in the wrong school. Please, tell us, where are the Friendship Games being held this year?"

---

"That was awesome!" Rainbow exclaimed, rushing up on stage to congratulate Sunset on her valiant attempt at math.

"Truly amazing!" Rarity chimed in.

"But, we didn't win." Sunset countered, wondering why her friends were cheering her loss.

"That was as close to winnin' as Canterlot's ever been." Applejack stated.

"I suppose," Sunset began, looking back at the geometry problem on the chalkboard. "I'm usually pretty good at geometry, but I forgot to factor in my number one weakness in mathematics; singing students behind me."

---

Dear Bronies,

Hey, is it alright if I start dating human Twilight? Or am I not allowed to love yet?

Sincerely,
Flash Sentry

---

Dear Flash,

You're kidding right? You baked a loaf of bread and put sprinkles on it for fuck's sake. What woman would want you?

- Bon Bon

---

"Oh, it puts you on a playing field alright." said Applejack, who pointed over to the heavily-modified track and field. Pinkie Pie let out a gasp.

"Am I the only one who thinks this is overkill? What are they gonna do, make us ride motorbikes?" Sunset Shimmer asked.

Rarity scoffed.

"Don't be ridiculous. That is the stupidest thing to ever come out of your mouth. Friendship Games on motorbikes. Come on."

---

Dear 'Shadow Six' Five,

Well well, look at my fantastic ass now! Yeah, thought we were all gonna share the magic and 'pony up'? Well, it's all mine. Fuck all of you. Or should I say...

Bullseye, bitches.

-Midnight Sparkle

---

Lyra looked down into the gaping hole in the front walk of the school, and saw ponies by the pavilion.

"Oh my God, they DO exist!"

---

Lyra gazed up at the hole that had formed in the sky, and the anthropomorphic creatures currently hanging on for dear life.

"Sweet Celestia, they DO exist!"

---

"So what kind of paperwork do we need to start to get the transfer in order?" Twilight asked Vice Principal Luna.

"Oh, we don't do that here. Sunset Shimmer just showed up and became popular, your 'Princess' double from Equestria just walked right in. Oh, and those sirens did too. I'm not even sure where Sunset lives. Probably somewhere in the school. I mean, if "Princess" Twilight can spend a night in the library, Sunset's probably been here for years. I wonder where those sirens got off too after the Battle of the Bands."

"Oh them?" Applejack asked, overhearing the conversation. "They got jobs and an apartment in the city. Sonata's doing the best; she's the assistant manager at Derek Jeter's Taco Hole."

---

Dear Twilight,

So, you really want to transfer? Why not stay with us, and help us learn about the magic of friendship?

Sincerely,
Lemon Zest, Sour Sweet, Indigo Zap, Sugarcoat, and Sunny Flare

---

Dear Lemon Zest, Sour Sweet, Indigo Zap, Sugarcoat, and Sunny Flare,

Let me think about that for a second.

And done.

Today, I was blackmailed into a sporting competition I'm no good at, insulted by my teammates, my accomplishments in said competition were ignored completely, my opponent was the one who helped me during archery, I was screamed at when I accidentally unleashed carnivorous plant life during the motocross race, and last but not least, blackmailed again into using a magic-capturing device I barely knew anything about.

In short, kiss my pristine purple ass, you preppy pansy pussies.

Sincerely,
Twilight Sparkle

---

Dear Sunset Shimmer,

First off, thank you in advance for closing all those inter-dimensional tears in space. But for future reference, could you have any and all magical battles away from the statue and entrance? That front walk has seen some serious shit.

Sincerely,
Principal Celestia and Vice Principal Luna

---

Sunset, Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Fluttershy were having a small lunch out by the statue, waiting for any word from the other side of the portal. Suddenly, the wall turned translucent, and Princess Twilight came sliding through the portal.

"Sorry I'm late, I just got your messages because I was stuck in a time loop and-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa Twilight," Pinkie began. "Listen, production and airing schedules have been really messed up, so don't give away anything for the finale yet, alright?"

Princess Twilight looked down to Sunset Shimmer, who was sitting at the corner of the statue, eating.

"Hey, thanks for filling in. Say, that's a pretty good sandwich. Get back in the kitchen and make me one."

Groaning, Sunset got up to go to the cafeteria. Princess Twilight then noticed, at the other side of the picnic blanket, her counterpart in this world.

"And you," she began, pointing at her with bedroom eyes. "You. Me. Sunset. Gymnasium storage closet. Fifteen minutes."

---

Dear Princess Celestia,

Alright, so if those anthropomorphic humans can "pony up" then surely we have some kind of magic untapped within us, right?

We must begin to research the possibilities. We must unlock the secrets, and learn to "homo up"!

Sincerely,
Lyra Heartstrings

Author's Note:

Comments

[Phazon]

"Sorry I'm late, I just got your messages because I was stuck in a time loop and-"

For a moment there, I completely forgot I was dealing with Disgruntled Twilight.

"Hey, thanks for filling in. Say, that's a pretty good sandwich. Get back in the kitchen and make me one."

And...

"And you," she began, pointing at her with bedroom eyes. "You. Me. Sunset. Gymnasium storage closet. Fifteen minutes."

Okay, now I remember.

Also, sounds like our Twilight just invited human Twilight to go fuck herself.

[djthomp]

"I suppose," Sunset began, looking back at the geometry problem on the chalkboard. "I'm usually pretty good at geometry, but I forgot to factor in my number one weakness in mathematics; singing students behind me."

That is a very specific yet critical weakness.

Hey, is it alright if I start dating human Twilight? Or am I not allowed to love yet?

Bwhahahahaha!

You're kidding right? You baked a loaf of bread and put sprinkles on it for fuck's sake. What woman would want you?

Ouch.

Nice quotes from the Lyras.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa Twilight," Pinkie began. "Listen, production and airing schedules have been really messed up, so don't give away anything for the finale yet, alright?"

No kidding.

derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/9/28/989807__safe_meme_equestria+girls_exploitable+meme_spoiler-colon-friendship+games_friendship+games_m-dot-a-dot-+larson_thanks+m-dot-a-dot-+larson_principal+cinch_deep+thought+larson.png

[Shadowmane PX-41]

I would say Larson is to blame for this, but Josh Haber wrote the movie...

6480498 Also, I approve of this meme...

[ShadowLDrago]

"O... Oh. I'm terribly sorry. We must be in the wrong school. Please, tell us, where are the Friendship Games being held this year?"

SHOTS FIRED!

"I suppose," Sunset began, looking back at the geometry problem on the chalkboard. "I'm usually pretty good at geometry, but I forgot to factor in my number one weakness in mathematics; singing students behind me."

Ah.

Well well, look at my fantastic ass now! Yeah, thought we were all gonna share the magic and 'pony up'? Well, it's all mine. Fuck all of you. Or should I say...
Bullseye, bitches.
-Midnight Sparkle

Magnificent.

"Oh them?" Applejack asked, overhearing the conversation. "They got jobs and an apartment in the city. Sonata's doing the best; she's the assistant manager at Derek Jeter's Taco Hole."

Huh, what do you know.

Today, I was blackmailed into a sporting competition I'm no good at, insulted by my teammates, my accomplishments in said competition were ignored completely, my opponent was the one who helped me during archery, I was screamed at when I accidentally unleashed carnivorous plant life during the motocross race, and last but not least, blackmailed again into using a magic-capturing device I barely knew anything about.
In short, kiss my pristine purple ass, you preppy pansy pussies.

This is the best. Also, 5 alliterations with P, nice.

"Sorry I'm late, I just got your messages because I was stuck in a time loop and-"

Wait, DISGRUNTLED Twilight apologized?

"Whoa, whoa, whoa Twilight," Pinkie began. "Listen, production and airing schedules have been really messed up, so don't give away anything for the finale yet, alright?"

Thank you. I want to go in spoiler free. Fun fact, if there wasn't a hiatus, the finale would have aired before Friendship Games.

Princess Twilight looked down to Sunset Shimmer, who was sitting at the corner of the statue, eating.
"Hey, thanks for filling in. Say, that's a pretty good sandwich. Get back in the kitchen and make me one."

And there we are.

"And you," she began, pointing at her with bedroom eyes. "You. Me. Sunset. Gymnasium storage closet. Fifteen minutes."

Well, after this, if anypony tells Twilight to go fuck herself she can respond that she already did.

We must begin to research the possibilities. We must unlock the secrets, and learn to "homo up"!

Err...

[CassandraMyOCisBestpony]

Dear Miles,

What's birth control? Is it like abstinence? It sounds like it has to do with sex, but the curriculum in Unspecified State That's Obsessed With School Sports and Has a Warm Climate doesn't go into much detail on the subject.

-Earth Twilight

Dear Best Friend BonBon,

Want to meet in the gym closet after school and talk about us being best friends?

-Your Best Friend Lyra

[meerkat8472]

Friendship Games on Motorcycles! I lost it there!

[SuperPinkBrony12]

Dear Bronies,
Hey, is it alright if I start dating human Twilight? Or am I not allowed to love yet?
Sincerely,
Flash Sentry

Dear Flash,
You're kidding right? You baked a loaf of bread and put sprinkles on it for fuck's sake. What woman would want you?
- Bon Bon

Hey Flash, want some ice for that burn? Actually, on second thought, hold the ice. I wanna see you burn.

[Harmony Charmer]

Dear Twilight,
So, you really want to transfer? Why not stay with us, and help us learn about the magic of friendship?
Sincerely,
Lemon Zest, Sour Sweet, Indigo Zap, Sugarcoat, and Sunny Flare

Dear Lemon Zest, Sour Sweet, Indigo Zap, Sugarcoat, and Sunny Flare,
Let me think about that for a second.
And done.
Today, I was blackmailed into a sporting competition I'm no good at, insulted by my teammates, my accomplishments in said competition were ignored completely, my opponent was the one who helped me during archery, I was screamed at when I accidentally unleashed carnivorous plant life during the motocross race, and last but not least, blackmailed again into using a magic-capturing device I barely knew anything about.
In short, kiss my pristine purple ass, you preppy pansy pussies.
Sincerely,
Twilight Sparkle

This is honestly everything I have ever wanted. This chapter, like the other EG ones, was a doozy.

[MixMassBasher]

Dear Crystal Prep,

I think you were competing in the wrong games

Sincerely,
Katniss Everdeen

[MixMassBasher]

Dear Pinkie Pie,

How did I get in this cake?

Sincerely,
Mona Lisa

[MixMassBasher]

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

Heard you moved to CHS. Can I join you?

Sincerely,
Moondancer

[MixMassBasher]

Dear Photo Finish,

Got any good photos to Blackmail Crystal Prep?

Sincerely,
Sunset Shimmer

[MixMassBasher]

Deleted Scene from Friendship Games

"So why are there motorbikes in school games?"
Twilight asked.

"Well I offered an all out rollar derby but it was rejected by Principal Cinch" Cadence replied.

[MixMassBasher]

Dear Principal Cinch,

You're Fired!

Sincerely,
Principal Cadence

Dear Shining Armour,

Shining Armour I elect you as the New Principal of Crystal Prep.
Meet me in the Principals' office for the PROPER paperwork.

Sincerely,
Principal Cadence

[Spiritus Arcane]

In short, kiss my pristine purple ass, you preppy pansy pussies.

This letter was the best. I could practically picture SciTwi writing it for real.

[MythrilMoth]

We must begin to research the possibilities. We must unlock the secrets, and learn to "homo up"!

...far too easy.

[AortaHeartless]

"Don't be ridiculous. That is the stupidest thing to ever come out of your mouth. Friendship Games on motorbikes. Come on."

My first though was Card Games on Motorcycles from Yugioh the Abridge Series(5Ds version) but motorcycles wouldn't have worked, would it?

[**Beert]

I don't get the last picture :c

[rcmero]

6480850 Twilicorn. M.A. Larson. That is all.

[MoldyShishkabob]

"I suppose," Sunset began, looking back at the geometry problem on the chalkboard. "I'm usually pretty good at geometry, but I forgot to factor in my number one weakness in mathematics; singing students behind me."

That's pretty much the exact same thought I had at that scene.

[Phazon]

It's apparently taken three EqG movies for me to think about this, but the human world has its own versions of the ponies of Equestria. Even Twilight and apparently Cadance are shown to have human counterparts.

So where's the human world's Sunset Shimmer? Did pony Sunset Shimmer kill human Sunset and take her place when she first arrived in the human world? Or has human Sunset been tied up in a basement for who knows how many years? Because that would explain a lot.

[Vigriff]

I love the reaction of the Lyra's because it reminds of that one M&M commercial with Santa in it.

[CassandraMyOCisBestpony]

6480717

"She took one look at Lyra and Bonbon and said, 'no roller derby, those two have an unfair advantage.'"

[Tatsurou]

6480717
Except they also had roller derby...
6481210
Alternatively, she goes to school out of state due to her excessive ambition and talent at a private school even snootier than Crystal Prep, and we'll be seeing her at some point in movie 4.

[_CheckMate_]

6481545 Or even better, she's just hanging out in the pony world after they pulled a 'Prince and the Pauper' switch. Even better, she's met Twilight a few times but she's to antisocial to notice.

[Hclegend]

Oh god, the Authors Note. THE AUTHORS NOTE.
I DON'T CARE IF I'VE ALREADY SEEN THE IMAGES
THEY'RE STILL FUNNY

[SuperPinkBrony12]

6481357 Knew I wasn't the only one thinking about that.

[Iron Comet]

Oh god, that was all hilarious. Especially the birth control joke at the end.

[Razalon The Lizardman]

"Don't be ridiculous. That is the stupidest thing to ever come out of your mouth. Friendship Games on motorbikes. Come on."

i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/071/413/jack_plays_card_games_by_dakaarts.png

[Blitz the Dragon]

Dear Fluttershy,

Thanks for bringing in that awesome jackelope. It's the first time I've seen one outside of The Man's souvenir shops. He's brought all kinds of positive vibes to the shelter. Last night I taught him about utilizing his chakra. He's a fast learner!

Anyways, if you find any more creatures like this, send them right on over.

Yours in Gaia,
Tree Hugger

P.S. Remember those stamps you borrowed from my desk? Yeahhh those weren't stamps. Sorry.

[kooarbiter]

now I kinda wished I had watched it, these references seem very funny but I don't know what they are referencing...
6480719 ffs man, just make it one comment and insert page breaks!

[CassandraMyOCisBestpony]

A memo to all students taking part in the upcoming Friendship Games,

Please sign the attached waivers, stating that Canterlot High is not responsible for any injury, dismemberment, or death that may result from taking part in the Friendship Games. Additionally, you will be required to attend a 5-hour seminar to obtain your provisional motorized ATV licenses,

PS, Don't try to guess what the events are.

Dear Vice Principal Luna,

So let me get this straight, you'd rather have a girl on the team who's afraid to get her dress dirty, than a girl who was excited about the games BEFORE Rainbow Dash's musical number?

Also Dash, what the hell? You led me to believe I'd get to second base if I helped you do your song, and then you forgot all about me. Do you even know my name?

-Baton Girl from the marching band

[TheWraithWriter]

derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/9/28/989807__safe_meme_equestria+girls_exploitable+meme_spoiler-colon-friendship+games_friendship+games_m-dot-a-dot-+larson_thanks+m-dot-a-dot-+larson_principal+cinch_deep+thought+larson.png

This made my day. Thank you.

[TheWraithWriter]

derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/9/28/989807__safe_meme_equestria+girls_exploitable+meme_spoiler-colon-friendship+games_friendship+games_m-dot-a-dot-+larson_thanks+m-dot-a-dot-+larson_principal+cinch_deep+thought+larson.png

This made my day. Thank you.

[CassandraMyOCisBestpony]

6481545 They had a roller skate race. A Roller Derby is a fairly violent contact sport where they score points by slamming and shoving the other team's skaters.

[Still Wearing Black]

Sunset, Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Fluttershy were having a small lunch out by the statue, waiting for any word from the other side of the portal.

Spike was there too. Take off your fucking blinders when you watch MLP, would you?

[Chapelseed]

6486540 yeah, but in this universe he's the Fax machine
in Sci-Twi's real, he's the paper shredder

Needs more Chinch-winching

[Neko Majin C]

derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/9/27/989185__safe_solo_twilight+sparkle_equestria+girls_upvotes+galore_looking+at+you_magic_grin_spoiler-colon-friendship+games_friendship+games.png
She is so beau—

...

neko_majin_c.exe has stopped working, cannot execute order "comprehend magnificence".

Windows can check online for a solution to the problem.

→ Check online for a solution and close the program

[→ Close the program]

hackspc.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/BSOD-3-.jpg

---

---

---

~KBO.

[Phazon]

6487965
Eh, I've seen better.

[Dragonwaz]

Overall kinda weird compared to the others but I still lost my shit several times. Gg good sir gg

[Neko Majin C]

6488414 As have I. However rules and regulations forbid me from posting them here.

[Smitty91]

."And you," she began, pointing at her with bedroom eyes. "You. Me. Sunset. Gymnasium storage closet. Fifteen minutes."

That part killed me!

[TheIrisianPrincess]

6493663
1. Luna being a horrible leader does not equal her being a horrible character. Despite my stance that Luna makes for a terrible leader, I still like her as a character.
2. Luna should not replace Celestia as princess of Equestria, nor do I think she would if given the opportunity. I mean, one of lines she says right before her transformation into Nightmare Moon was "There can only be one princess in Equestria, and that princess will be me!" I doubt that she would try to pull off something so eerily similar to what she did as Nightmare Moon.
3. I still stand by what I said when I mentioned that Luna would most likely not instill some kind of democracy. Being "out-of-the-loop" for a thousand years kind of led her away from that mentality. Hell, it contributed to the main conflict of Luna Eclipsed. You do remember that her ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE was originally a tradition and not just some humorous way of speaking intended to make bronies happy, right?

[Twidashforever]

Damn miles, i was expecting so much more.

Of all the things you could've nailed this movie for, this is what you went with?

[milesprower06]

6495374 Yep. Life is full of disappointments.

[Twilight is the BEST]

Some how I knew both Twilights would want to get it on with each other.

[1stChosenStar]

Dear Bronies,
Hey, is it alright if I start dating human Twilight? Or am I not allowed to love yet?
Sincerely,
Flash Sentry

When the fandom stops booing at you when you appear on-screen, date away!

[Darthdarius117]

6530589 You're Godamn right.

[Twilight is the BEST]

When is next chapter?