Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by milesprower06

Triple Threat

Dear Fax Machine,

The worst thing to occur? Just be glad the yaks aren't here again.

Oh and ruin Equestria as we know it? As if that could happen! I could just friendship beam both races and then they can be all friendshippy with each other.

The real problem is what's going on with Princess Celestia and that Dictator Fried Chik Un of the Northern Griffon Kingdom. Princess Celestia's ranting about how her sun is bigger than those puny Megaspells Fried Chik Un is making.

-Twilight Sparkle

---

To my closest, nicest, most caring, most understanding friends ever!

Please don't leave me with Twilight ever again. She kept doing suggestive poses on all her chairs like how Queen Chrysalis used to do when finding a new mate.

Your weirded out friend,
Thorax

---

Dear Dragon Lord Ember,

Starlight and Twilight looked similar!?! Who would have thought!?!

Seriously though you only have hit the tip of the iceberg.

Your Fellow Twilight Doppelgangers,
Sunset Shimmer and Moondancer

---

Dear Dragon Lord Ember,

When the next dragon migration occurs could you and your dragon friends come over to dine on my castle. Somehow, my castle is now more decrepit than usual; there are so many holes in the pillars now!

Fuck! I miss my old tree house...

Your nostalgic princess,
Princess Twilight Sparkle

P.S. Maybe your dad and I could also experiment with his old scepter if you know what I mean.

---

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

You keep fretting over that dumbass tree house. Don't you have a home in Canterlot which you could have move back anytime oh wait never mind. You gave your place to Moondancer for a chance to buck a splitting image of yourself. If I recall it didn't work.

-Spike

P.S. Stop calling me Fax Machine. That name's getting old.

---

Dear Fax Machine,

I'll stop calling you Fax Machine when you stop being a fax machine.

Sincerely,
Princess Twilight Sparkle

---

Dear Ember, Spike and Thorax,

Never doubt the power of three!

Your friendly neighbour,
Time Turner

---

Dear Spike,

That threesome we had was awesome! Let’s do it again another time!

Your friends,
Thorax and Ember

---

Dear Ember,

I know dragons and their appetites, but you are literally eating us out of house and home.

You'll find the repair bill for the throne room attached at the bottom.

Sincerely,
Princess Twilight Sparkle of Ponyville

---

Author's Note:

Comments

[F14m3rz]

Princess Celestia's ranting about how her sun is bigger than those puny Megaspells Fired Chik Un is making.

*Fried

[SuperPinkBrony12]

Dear Fax Machine,

I'll stop calling you Fax Machine when you stop being a fax machine.

Sincerely,
Princess Twilight Sparkle

Or until you get a new one, whichever comes first.

[Lunar Walker]

[Onyx Heart]

8731952
Damn... I was really hoping you could tear him a new one.

[GIGA-XISBASS]

8731952

I believe that was the brony who was while back exposed as a pedophile or something. There are youtube videos about it.

Found a blog post here talking about it, ironically it's the same one that alerted me about this awhile back. https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/793390/-just-when-you-think-you-know-a-guy

[Neko Majin C]

My dearest Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle,

I apologize for having failed you. While I was cleaning up the mess we made, there may have been a few small spots I missed. I have no excuse, it was very sloppy and messy on my parts. All I can do is apologize and promise to do better in the future. I enjoy being your obsequious slave, but, unfortunately, I am not a machine. I am made of flesh and blood. Yet another way I have failed you. Being made of flesh and blood, I am subject to deterioration without proper maintenance... Wait... that makes me sound like a machine...

...

Please forgive me if this is out of line, but did you make me into a robot? A poorly functioning robot? Well, only one way to find out...

...Nope, that is blood, that is actually blood. That is, that is bleeding profusely. Clot, damn you, clot! I apologize once again, Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle, but I have to take care of this...

Signed your loyal slave who is most definitely not a robot,
Neko Majin C.

Post Script: Why did I finish writing this letter in my own blood?!

---

---

---

~KBO.

[NobodieZ]

Fried Chik Un

[Moonlight_Mist]

That third image in the AN. All I could think was 'it was lemon surprise'