Twilight Sparkle is being sent to Ponyville to learn about friendship. She's not happy about it.
Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06
Three's A Crowd
Dear Diary,
First off, Pinkie Pie, you owe me a new door. Secondly, you're lucky you didn't hurt Spike with said door. He needs to keep up with his chores. Thirdly, used patio furniture? Splendid! Perfect! They look like they'll go perfect with your used marehood!
So we see Fluttershy off on her train, and not five minutes later, we see Cadance's train coming down the opposite direction of the same track. I'm pretty sure there are no splits in the Ponyville track that soon, so what the hell happened to Fluttershy's train? The Crystal Express comes to a screeching halt, and Cadance disembarks, complete with horn fanfare and...FLASH?!?
Where the fuck have you been? You never write! I've been wanting you to bone me for months! And then you just smile at me and get back on the train? You fucking tease!
So after Cadance and I leave for the Starswirl Museum, Rainbow tells me that Discord made an entrance by flying into a tree. Also, apparently blue is the color of trouble. But Rainbow is also colored- wait, actually, that makes perfect sense. Too bad purple isn't the color of irresistible. So since Rarity didn't have a fainting couch on hoof, Pinkie Pie got a pile of luggage. No idea who it belonged to, but I'm sure they wouldn't mind Discord rubbing his flu all over it.
So, Discord came looking for Fluttershy, when he supposedly lives with her. He and Fluttershy write each other letters, when he supposedly lives with her. Because that totally makes sense. Hey Fluttershy, why don't you write letters to Celestia. I hear she has nothing to do all day since we've started this diary.
And Rainbow may love winning, and she may love her friends even more, but you know what she loves most? Being away from Discord. So after chasing Rainbow off, distracting Pinkie with a balloon, and giving the blue flu to AJ and Rarity, he of course finds Cadance and I. At least my sister-in-law had the foresight to cast a health bubble. We take him back to the library, put him to bed, and are about to be headed back when he gives us a song of what else he needs.
Most of it was useless, but can I borrow Louise the Singing Harp? I want to put it in Bon Bon's bed and trick her into thinking it's Lyra.
So he provides us a ridiculous flying chariot, and we fly all the way out to the southwestern edge of Equestria, where the flower he needs grows. Except its grown all the way into a tree by now. We uproot it, and bam! A huge worm creature. Fuck yes! TENTACLES!!! It looked like Cadance was going to get some first, and I couldn't let that happen. So I freed her, and it grabbed me, but I couldn't tell her to just let me be before she started shooting at it too. Oh well, I suppose not every single creature with tentacles isn't always interested in fucking your brains out. But it did give Discord exactly what he deserved; an actual sickness.
Serves you right for that hideous friendship necklace.
- Princess Twilight Sparkle
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I've actually started reading these, instead of watching the show.
A masterpiece of disgruntledness, as always The only thing I was wondering was how you were going to involve the tentacles into this and you mastered it quite perfectly.
5/5 moustaches
My sides seem to have broken the Transwarp threshold as they fly off...
You know not the storm of rustled jimmies that you are conjuring.
4.bp.blogspot.com/-tEZXEDuLsbE/UoDhcNYhjcI/AAAAAAAAAIs/QJ9gycg_NXI/s1600/Mr%2Bbean%2BMagic.jpg
To be honest I'm a little bit surprised by this week's entrance. No mention from Twilight about wanting to do some serious royal boning with her dear sister? Maybe seeing if she might possibly smell like Shining Armor from a quickie they might've had before making the trip to Ponyville? No jokes relating to blue balls?
3854320 oooo, miles
bae caught you slippin
And let's keep it that way!
And they had to cast that summoning spell on Discord's ass in the season opener, when he supposedly lives with Fluttershy. Yeah, that sounds about right.
"On the other hoof, the sceptre probably balanced that out... more or less."
i.snag.gy/LDX1m.jpg
I'm glad you are back on your game, the ones from last season (along with last season) we far too short.
Amen.
OMQ RANDOM DOT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PARAGRAPH
Kinky.
I believe that should be "my sister-in-law."
Why? So you can "borrow" Lyra for yet another failed attempt at getting somepony to give you an orgasm?
Also, why on earth has no one said anything about this?
static3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20140127093843/mlp/images/a/a2/Discord_singing_towards_Twilight_and_Cadance_S4E11.png
static3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20131202144715/mlp/images/a/a4/Rainbow_covers_face_with_wings_S4E03.png
3854347 No, not slipping, making the jokes varied.
Can you imaging the shitstorm if Twi had actually reacted to Flash Sentry in the episode? XD
No joke about how Applejack can't catch blue flu because she nevers take a day off? (Cause that's what blue flu is, a sick off.)
3854612 I'm Surprised that there wasn't a shit storm cause he showed up in the episode.
(I was under the impression that EQG was Noncannon)
3854546 I was joking, silly :p
3854612
Actually there was a bit of a one.
"OMG NUUUU he's canon in FiM my waifu might get stolen! "
F'in idiots.
3854838 I found an "Anti Flash Sentry" group here this weekend.
I could not stop laughing in pity.
3854485 Too bad he did asked for a glass of water in the end..which means: trolling continues.
3854754
There was a little bit of a shitstorm. Rabid idiots flaming writers on Twitter, the sort of thing that, while sort-lived, brings us all down.
And according to Meghan McCarthy, EqG is actually canon, it just won't affect the main show at all. Except for animators/storyboarders having a little fun with cameos now and then.
In other words, it happened, but we're more or less pretending it didn't. I'm not entirely sure how that's any different from non-canon in a practical sense, but hey? In the words of this episode's star, what fun is there in making sense?
I swear I was so pissed off near the end of the episode when Discord returned to normal. I want to punch him in his mismatched face so bad.
Where's the mentioning of all the references Discord gives, like sliding out as Tom Cruise from Risky Business?
i.imgur.com/0RrLvrS.png
MFW:
i.imgur.com/8eSfbJG.jpg
3855048
Possibly, but if he goes to Fluttershy's on weekends, the "How was your week?" chat they'd probably have would defeat the purpose of being pen pals.
And besides, the only indication I've seen that Discord would be living with Fluttershy is in the Season 4 opening title sequence, so that's not particularly conclusive. After all, when Celestia tasked the Mane 6 with reforming Discord, she told Twilight that she could make use of a reformed Discord's power.
3854314 Better yet, the crystal train might've straight up jumped over the one from Ponyville like an Olympic pull-vaulter.
Why is TWILIGHT showing CONCERN for FAX-MACHINE?
everyone's noticing flash...how about the fact that flash a Pegasus is smaller that a Cristal Pegasus does that mean that all Cristal pony's are bigger that there regular counterparts?http://i.imgur.com/0RrLvrS.png
3855528
fax-machine can't do its chores if its broken. And Twilight can't exactly get a new fax machine if she breaks her current one. She's gotta at least keep fax-machine in working order if she wants to exploit its labor.
Fuck yes! TENTACLES!!!
3854838 if i may provide my perspective, i couldnt care less about any of this waifu crap. but i was still angry that flash made an appearance, why? because his appearance means that that shit pile of a movie is at least partly canon, not to mention the writing director promised the fandom he would never make another appearance after EG
3856037 This is a perfect example of what I couldn't stop laughing at on Saturday.
3856037
Well, the second part about them promising he'll never making an appearance again is true, but you're wrong about the first part. It was already stated before season 4 started that Equestria Girls was canon.
why did no one els but me notice that discords flying chariot is the same throne for xerxes in 300.. i even made a thing for cheeseburger about it :P
http://cheezburger.com/8022372352
you should mention that in this journal entry :P
Dear Twilight Sparkle:
Didn't I write a royal decree forbidding that guy from coming within 10 miles of you? Oh well, I guess I just got myself a new sex toy
Your waifu-stealing fellow princess, Celestia.
Dear Princess Cadance:
Did you really have to put me in Twilight's bed? I have heard of horrible things that happen there.
Your very favorite patient, Discord
3856094 they did? i didnt know that, and it just annoys me more now
3854311
To be honest, Equestria Girls never happened. But I suppose depending on how they write Sunset Shimmer in her episode will tell us whether that movie was canon or not.
3857059 Had you read about two comments up, the you would've seen that EQG IS canon and actually happened.
3857693
They weren't there when I made the reply. But I am surprised by that revelation.
3857693 I believe that the exact opposite point was made by several members of the show's staff.
Just because the movie is "not canon" doesn't mean they can't toss in characters from it. For instance, Orange Pony Who May Be Named Flash Sentry could just be the liaison between Equestrian and the Crystal Empire, and recognized Twilight and her friends from their adventures in both kingdoms.
He certainly didn't stammer and blush, nor did Twilight react.
Edit: I saw an earlier comment that acually souns more like what I heard. EqG is "canon" but not to the storyline of the main show.
3858153 Meaning that it happened, but it probably won't make an appearance in the show. As I think have been said several times.
3855131
Huh, didn't notice that. Cool.
3855131 Crystal Pegasi?
Ok, Sombra, turn over your evil Overlord badge. You have NO excuse for putting your weakness in a highly visible and easy to reach location for pegasi if you kingdom has them.
Oh, right, he's dead...
Eh, we can take it off him post-mortem.
3859400
Then again, he did have that dark Crystal boobytrap set up. You know, the one that caught Twilight?
3859534 Given how incompetent he is, it's likely activated by standing on the ground near it.
Yet another chapter where Fax Machine is referred to as Spike. I swear, Miles, if you evr r do that again, I'll hunt you down and kill you.
3859816 Oh come on. This series has so many running gags that I don't remember every single one of them for every single chapter.
3859556
Or is it activated by moving the heart?
Also, we don't know if he put an illusion preventing pegasai from seeing the heart.