Twilight Sparkle is being sent to Ponyville to learn about friendship. She's not happy about it.
Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06
Ponyville Confidential
Dear Princess Celestia,
Today I learned that this whole damn town is frighteningly insecure. It all started when the Cutie Mark Failures decided once again on their next crusade; newspaper. Although Sweetie Belle once again tried shipping in the most incorrect manner possible, and Scootaloo's wings have now begun to troll the body they're attached to. Brilliant.
So once Applebloom finally got them on the idea of journalism, they signed up for the school newspaper. So I also blame part of this fiasco on Cheerilee. The fact that these three have not been sent to some special needs class astounds me. Wait, scratch that. This is Ponyville we're talking about. The whole schoolhouse is pretty much a special needs class.
But she did do something right; the selection of the Editor-in-Chief. Diamond Tiara was after the juicy stories. And the staff photographer just got his cutie mark. Based upon the kind of photos he took, he's looking at a career with the ponyrazzi in Fillywood. The three birth defects can't figure out what to write in their column until Sweetie Belle finds Snips and Snails being butt buddies on the playground. Needless to say, this article spread like wildfire, and a newspaper written by kids is now the hottest thing in town.
So now that it's common knowledge that the school allows gay relationships on the premises, Diamond Tiara orders the newly christened 'Gabby Gums' to go beyond the school and get into the private lives of Ponyville. That's when things started to get fun.
I find it simply marvelous how bent out of shape an entire town gets when ponies start talking about them. In fact, I have a solution. How about we re-purpose the town hall. We get a gigantic blackboard, and black full suits for anonymity. So anypony can go in and write whatever they want with no consequences whatsoever. I'll call it...a forum! That way, anypony can go on a rant and get something off their chest. At least until technology advances and we have a machine in the comfort of our own home where we can just rot away in front of them.
Can you imagine if there was a show about those mythological 'human' creatures Lyra is always talking about? What if it was made for little fillies, but stallions and mares got into it too? With a machine like that, the worst of those fags could go and write a story about humans and post it for everyone to read! By the moon, can you think of anything more pathetic?
Well, to be honest, the articles began to lose their flare, at least in my opinion. Like, Pinkie Pie is a drugged-up party animal? Fluttershy's tail isn't real? I find this town boring? I thought this was a NEWSpaper. But I am impressed that Featherweight managed to snap a picture of your fat ass chowing down on some cake.
Well, after that picture made it to print, I imagine that Cheerilee was fearing for her possible future lunar lifestyle, so she shut the Gabby Gums column down. But not before they managed to get some delicious tears out of Fluttershy.
So even though Diamond Tiara lost her position as Editor-in-Chief, Madame Pinkie Pie predicted that she would become prosperous in the future through something involving a four-leaf clover and the letter 'b'. Not too sure what that means.
Your forum-trolling former student,
Twilight Sparkle
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I feel insulted!
A four-leaf clover and the letter 'b'?
those ironic "bronies are pathetic" jokes are getting a little old, but whatever, fun chapter as always!
1967346 Oh come on, I thought this would be an obvious reference!
Gotta watch out on them forums man.
4 leaf clover and the letter b what could that mean
Twilight just insulted a large portion of my life. I feel all fluffy inside.
Heh.
1967367 it's not, explain thy self please
1967408 theleakywiki.com/media/k2/items/cache/fc2062aef352f80dc2215f346ba9ce28_XL.jpg
1967346 Ya gotta think about it for a second. Hint: よつば
Not your best chapter but still good for a few laughs.
Yeah, those people writing those stories! heh heh... heh.
*Deletes stories*
1967413 Huh, alright. That makes a little sense. I was thinking Pinkie was going to get involved in the prostitution business (four leaf clover) involving bestiality (b). I wasn't too far off considering the topic we're talking about.
Hey Twilight, do you realize you just insulted you entire existence by proxy? Well you did and quite honestly, you know you deserve it.
JK this was funny.
1967367
I had to look it up. Never been to /b/, or 4-chan for that matter.
To clarify, I didn't get the connection between a 4-leaf clover and the letter b. I HAD heard of /b/ before.
This one was pretty lacking. Sorry.
1967413 Well, you did forget the shash. I'm sure people would have figure out /b then.
Anyway, gorgeous chapter, as usual. I lost my absolute shit at this point here:
Hey..... are you trying to insinuate something? Because if you are.... well stuff.
For some reason, I felt this was the highlight of the letter for me.
And forums would be a great addition to Equestria.
Except if everypony went to the blackboard and said something provocative, they could be beaten up (or something) because everypony knows where everypony lives.
1967529 That's what the black suits are for.
Firstly,
Ouch.
Second.
Seems about right.
Oh. Oh dear.
1967437
Please no
1967548
Wow, I really do need to get some sleep…
Disregard everything, acquire LFDFS.
I don't find it surprising that DT starts 4chan.
1967346 4chans /b board.
I never so much as touch 4chans, so that joke kind of went right over me. But overall, it was okay. Always nice to see an ironic bashing of bronies, though they might be getting a bit too old anymore. I dunno, I've just seen them so much anymore. Oh, well.
*claps* your awesome.... all that needs be said has been said.
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSMZzUgzNuVJ9JfTWeUS6XldrbVCcd86hY0kmc1n66DnOKosttYeQ
Eh this one was only okay. I agree that ironic Brony bashing jokes are a bit on the old side (not that I haven't made any myself of course). All that to say, I'm working on the first part of my reading for this so that should be done tonight. I'll let you know!
What Twilight doesn't know is that Diamond Tiara should never have been put in charge of a paper because she's a total you-know-what. Hm now I wonder if Krillin's rant about Bulma would fit Diamond Tiara?
This is the most glorious thing I have ever read.
You don't need the comma there.
Isn't that two words? Meh...
Should be one sentence
Has an extra space and I believe it needs a question mark. I'm on the fence about that one. God this one is killing me.
Would be easier to have it as one sentence.
Missing a space.
1967367
Man, all these newfags...
Also, 10/10 chapter.
I feel retarded. I have no idea how to get around on 4chan! My problem may stem from only using a kindle (I can't see anything to the left of the button for bold when responding to an actual message on fimfiction), so... that.
Dear Twilight Sparkle:
Please lead me to this "Featherweight" pony so I can give him a one-way ticket to the moon.
Your Forum-loving former teacher, Princess Celestia.
1967976 Careful; don't want to teach them new words. You know how that went last time, right?
-----
Improving your computer using all the cool stuff you found on /g/--800 Dollars and a packet of gum.
Finding out about the good parts of the internet from /b/, /jp/ and /d/?-- All your spare time
Calling Moot a newfag--Priceless.
-----
There are some things money can't buy...
META!
4chan /b/ lol.
A lot of this episode was a self parody, but it doesn't really excuse how lazy this chapter was. Come on, this has to be the least un-good chapter so far, far too self-referential and meta. Look, that's usually clever, but humour needs to say "Hey look at this" and not "Hey look at me".
Hey! For once Twilight did not bitch about not getting any
Did she finally train Fax Machine to put out?
1967333 I feel insulted too! And strangely aroused!
Hm, Twi seems to be doing okay/actually pretty happy in this one for some reason. Did she had sex with fax machine or Lesbo Dash?
Not exactly the best Bronybashing jokes in the wold. The forum jokes were better but not really great.
In short, this chapter was good but not great.
Well, there's three (technically two) episodes left as far as Season 2 is concerned. I suppose these episodes aren't the easiest to make fun of so this is understandable.
1967948 Not sure if trolling in the spirit of the chapter, so nitpicky over empirical grammar rules that accepted formats that aren't strictly "kosher" piss him off, or honestly that anal.
About every other chapter made me facepalm out of pure hilarity each letter.
Fuckling love this. And that one commenter that write's Celestia's replies.
All that and nothing about her insecure little force field? You could probably see that thing glowing from Canterlot.