Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by milesprower06

Princess Twilight Sparkle, Part 1

Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06

Princess Twilight Sparkle, Part 1

Dear Princess Celestia,

So today, to prepare for the next Summer Sun Celebration, Rainbow Dash was helping me with my flying. I had to really improve on solo flying, because my brother can't throw me all the time like he did at the end of the coronation.

Becoming a Princess finally got me out of Ponyville. And my very own stained glass window! The others had to get back down to Ponyville because Mayor Mare wanted to pretend that Ponyville still mattered because it already had its turn as the host for the celebration. I may have to work on my flying, but my acting was top notch, acting all sorrowful as they went back down to town.

While Fax Machine was all competent with his checklist, in order to try to come up with an excuse to go back down to ponies who actually gave a shit about him occasionally, I wasn't falling for it. After you checked in, I decided to go over everything one more time to avoid returning to Ponyville. But then, all of a sudden, the two of you go missing, leaving me in charge! Fuck yeah!

Down in Ponyville, Applejack and her family were trying to remove weeds, Fluttershy's animals were being pussies, and Sweetie Belle thought something was wrong with her horn. You know, because it was actually working.

Flying back down to see what was going on was quite the adventure. Although I'd like to know where that seat belt came from. But that landing couldn't have been better. So everypony pretty much figures that Discord was behind it all, so we summon him right in the middle of a bath. Of course, he denied it again and again, while only Fluttershy was willing to give him any credit. You see, that's the problem with friendship, you can't jump right to the conclusion. You need “proof” and all that shit.

So after being chased out of her home, Zecora thought she could get away with moving into Ponyville. But she wasn't a complete freeloader, she traded a vial of exotic dragon semen, which really tasted fantastic. Drinking it gave me quite the hallucination; a flashback of Luna finally getting sick of your shit, and attempting to overthrow you.

Fuck yes. Where can I get more of this stuff?

Your cum-filled former student,
Princess Twilight Sparkle

Comments

[Peachy Moon]

Why do I keep coming back?

[Red Bomber]

Dragon Semen is purple until you shoot it with magic?

[Fernesh]

You need “proof” and all that shit.

Any detective serie in a nutshell

[Cerulean Voice]

You sir, are the fastest writer I have ever seen.
Great job.

I reckon you should have said "Your cum-guzzling former student" though.

[MoldyShishkabob]

That was fast.

[Swashbucklist]

You know where you can get more dragon semen, Twi. You know damn well where.

Also, while most of the Apples were trying to protect their land, Big Mac was wasting time playing Whack-A-Weed... Y'know, that actually sounds like a euphemism.

[_CheckMate_]

anyone know where to watch the episode? I don't get the Hub where I live

[bloodwolf432]

Why is she writing this letter to Celestia if both her and Luna are currently engaging in an BDSM session with the Everfree Forest?

[BronyWriter]

my brother can't throw me all the time like he did at the end of the coronation.

Best line.

[deathblade]

3528001

She said exotic dragon semen, not fax machine semen.

[punzil504]

Sweetie Belle thought something was wrong with her horn. You know, because it was actually working.

[_CheckMate_]

3528038 Thanks, bud

[kooarbiter]

glad i had already seen the episode... the line about sweetie's horn words cannot describe

oh, and the dragon cumb bit was funny too

[SuperPinkBrony12]

3528029 Indeed. So that explains how she could fly so well. And how she knew in her hot minute about "Shining Armor Launch". Quick someone wright a fanfic of Shining Armor doing just that!

[Jake8765]

3528038 You are my God of the day for linking!

[Strict Manual]

3528008 I just checked a torrent site. Funny thing is I only knew that the episode was being aired because of this update

[Level Dasher]

After Celestia checked in

all of a sudden, they go missing

I hate to be that guy, but wouldn't these be "After you checked in" and "all of a sudden, you go missing" ?

[Samey90]

a vial of exotic dragon semen

Haha, I also thought it was semen at first... (new headcanon: dragon's semen contains LSD)

[Nyerguds]

"After Celestia checked in"
"they go missing"
Um, she's writing this TO Celestia...

[Princess Cadence]

I will always wonder why Zecora had that potion all brewed up and ready to go...

[re- Yamsmos]

Big Macintosh was fucking great in this episode.

[JimboTex]

But then, all of a sudden, the two of you go missing, leaving me in charge! Fuck yeah!

i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/299/702/37e.jpg

Sweetie Belle thought something was wrong with her horn. You know, because it was actually working.

i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/034/706/winternet.jpg?1318992465

You need “proof” and all that shit.

In other words, it's like an Ace Attorney trial, except that your client doesn't get declared guilty if you fuck up too many times.

[keaton-furman-prower]

Dear Twilight Sparkle:

Believe me, I needed this vacation after having to constantly put up with your shit.

Love, Princess Celestia

P.S.: Did you know that dragon semen has been known to remove alicorn wings and horns?

[Blitz the Dragon]

3527987 Only when it's been sitting for awhile. See, the liquid base of dragon semen reflects purple light on its own. The sperm cells of my species turn colorless as they die off. Twilight's magic revived the dead sperm suspended in the flask, thus turning them white once more.

[Azure Sandora]

3529849 Wow... learn something new everyday.

Thanks!

[meme-asaurus]

25.media.tumblr.com/29c839cd5836db96e462d8a3bf4331c1/tumblr_mwsacnmhS31qii7qjo1_500.png

[SpikedPunch66]

That landing couldn't have been better

I think Fax machine might disagree

[WorldWalker128]

3527987
Maybe it got freezerburn or something and Twilight healed it.

I take it season 4 has started and I missed out on the season premier?
-
3528001
exotic dragon semen. Spike apparently, is not exotic.

[VNilla]

3533062
Yes, it did. Here you go.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=faKa8HAZupg

[Mecha G]

Welcome back.

[plsno]

I was hoping you would mention what is most likely the lewdest scene in the show to date, the Pinkie frosting scene.

[John Tannius]

When she took a drink from the flask my first thought was, "Hell we're going on a DMT trip!"

[raw19]

Oh my god, you had me at Dragon semen. Lovin this already!

Fuck yes. Where can I get more of this stuff?

More Dragon Semen, Twilight? Hmmm.....You could try having it faxed to you.

[lunathealicorn45]

lol theses letters are so funny

[The Master Whoovian]

Your cum-filled former student,
Princess Twilight Sparkle

Oh my God

[Skeeter The Lurker]

That is the best description of the potion I have EVER heard of.

~Skeeter The Lurker

[ThatClosetBrony]

The interesting part is, Twilight used dark magic when drinking the potion. Maybe the color of her magic is affected by lust?

[Spike Sparkle]

3528517
I faxed it to her just in case...

[Inferno demon Dash]

Oh gods, I was dying on this chapter

[Neko Majin C]

Your cum-filled former student,

Princess Twilight Sparkle

Well, at least she is happy.

KBO.

[xStellar_Bubbles]

traded a vial of exotic dragon semen

I don't even want to know how Zecora got that...

[user123]

5189283
she gave a dragon a massage of course.