Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by milesprower06

Movie Magic (Mixed, Massed, and Bashed)

Dear Princess Twilight,

Hi, once again, Princess Twilight. Things have been going smoothly since getting the funds for Camp Everfree. We even got awarded a chance to see the behind the scenes making of the upcoming Daring Do movie. The director; Canter Zoom, seemed a little over dramatic when things didn't go his way. Why weren't things going his way? Well, a certain friend kept interrupting the recording of the movie. Rainbow was being a self entitled prick, rambling about how one movie scene should look as though it was practically leaping off the pages of the Daring Do series.

They can have creative liberties, Rainbow. That's what they called show business. Get over it! Maybe if you joined the Canterlot Movie Club, you might have a better appreciation for what the director is doing.

Taking a break, AJ and I decided to look around in this coinky-dink world of a movie set. Although, for a high quality set for a Daring Do movie, they sure know how to litter the place with candy bar wrappers. Unless that one piece of litter is supposed to authenticate the one little detail mention in one little scene of a book. Back on set, they were shooting another scene that, I must say, had the most amazing effects. The movie set nearly killed its cast! Now, we only needed a large explosion to capitalize on this scene and we could complete this crapfest of a movie. Michael Bay approved.

Then, Rainbow comes running in screaming that all the relics were gone. Okay, so first the Daring Do costumes were missing, and now the relics were stolen!?! What a twist!

But who could have caused it? I'd suspect Rainbow. She's such a hardcore Daring Do fan that maybe she stole them as collectibles. Or, maybe not, as Rarity spotted a mysterious hooded figure that they decided to chase after while Fluttershy, Pinkie and I spied on a pampered movie star. Wow! What a smart idea. Most of them didn't even have their magical geodes and they didn't know if this culprit was armed and dangerous. Like I said, really smart. Sadly, they lost the guy by the time we reunited.

Seriously, Rainbow!?! How could you not fucking catch the guy, you air-headed numbskull!? Did you forget to charge your geode up with your own ego on the way here?

And the next thing I knew, I was pulled aside and put in a Mane-iac outfit. Eh. I prefer Marvel. But I'm keeping this sexy outfit…

It was then that we spotted the suspicious figure again. You would think for a person trying not to get caught red handed, they wouldn't just mysteriously stand in a corner staring at us instead getting the shit out of there! But I digress... The chase is on!

Catching said culprit proved to be a difficult task especially when we were all netted by the baddie. I could just picture Pinkie jokingly screaming, "Ahhh!! Nets! My one weakness." If she weren't so wrapped up in her pudding obsession that is somehow worse than Rarity binge eating ice-cream. Thankfully, Rainbow didn't get caught. Quickly! Get this net off of— and she left us... Of course she did. What a glory hog!

Great idea, Rainbow. Let's split up gang! That's sure to not end in disaster! But guess what? It did. For the fastest woman alive, you would think she'd had caught the thief. But instead, she gets locked up in a room.

And the award goes to Rainbow for most incompetent friend of the year!!! Congratulations!

If it was any consolation, we found the missing outfits. But no clue who is the culprit. And so the plot thickens... Then Sci-Twi cried out "Jinkies!” as she had already pieced together all the clues. All we had to do now was catch the hooded figure, which we obviously did. And the unmasked baddie turned out to be Juniper Montage. My second guess would have been the butler...

Turned out that she resented her uncle for not casting her as Daring Do in the movie, so she had the bright idea of jeopardizing the film's production and nearly endangering everyone's safety.

The shit people do to get famous, isn't that right, Rarity?

But what kind of half ass plan is that? It's as bad as trying to take over Equestria with just brainwashed teenag— wait, nevermind.

So, with the thief caught, we decided to let her uncle deal with her. It's not our responsibility, anyway. We're teenagers! Besides, it's not like she'll come back for revenge.

In the end, it was quite the job well done, if I do say so myself. We were even awarded background roles in the movie, which I'm pretty certain Applejack will have no difficulty portraying. Now, if we could only stop Rainbow from fangasming every time the movie is being recorded.

Your student,
Sunset Shimmer

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"Hey, Twilight, who's this Sunset Shimmer?" Starlight Glimmer asked as she finished reading the glowing book she stumbled across.

"Nopony to be concerned about!" Twilight shouted rather suddenly.

"Okayyyy..." Starlight replied back.

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Dear Sunset,

So... is the A. K. Yearling in your world actually Daring Do in disguise like in our world? ‘Cause that would be awesome!

Equestria’s number one Daring Do fan,
Rainbow Dash

Author's Note:

Comments

[MixMassBasher]

Nice job finding those images miles! The last one was hilarious!

[Level Dasher]

Pfft, right, I forgot Rainbow was an utter dumbass in this one.

[FanOfMostEverything]

Catching said culprit proved to be a difficult task especially when we were all netted by the baddie. I could just picture Pinkie jokingly screaming, "Ahhh!! Nets! My one weakness."

Evil Betty approved!

[SuperPinkBrony12]

Nothing about how she would've gotten away with it if it weren't for those meddling kids?

[Neko Majin C]

That's what they called show business.

"Call."

Let's split up gang!

Missing comma.

For the fastest woman alive, you would think she'd had caught the thief.

Replace "for" with being and replace "had caught" with "catch."

I really dropped the ball on this one, and for that, I apologize.

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Dear Shunshoot Shatter,
Dear Soleslut Slither,
Dear Starship Trooper,
Dear Dragon Ball Super,
Dear Amy Schumer,
Dear Sunset Shimmer,

You should come visit Mistress Headmistress Princess Twilight Sparkle more. I am certain she would love your company. Bring your friends with you next time, especially that other Twilight. If she is anything like my Mistress Headmistress Princess Twilight Sparkle, she would love to engage in some self ponidox sex. You should join in, too. The only thing better than self ponidox sex, is a self ponidox orgy.

Signed Mistress Headmistress Princess Twilight Sparkle's most loyal slave and wingman,
Neko Majin C.

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~KBO.

[Orphan]

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