Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by milesprower06

Hiatus Bonus Chapter: Rainbow's Social Gathering

Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06

Hiatus Bonus Chapter
Rainbow's Social Gathering

Dear Princess Twilight,

I'm finding myself in a bit of a jam. I figured I'd put together an event here in Ponyville to give ponies all over Equestria the chance to see the Rainbow Dash experience. You know, seeing as how most of our insane adventures take place around this town. Whenever we leave, it's either to go plant a tree, help with a fashion show, or put on a play. So I knew for a fact that other ponies would want to come see what it was all about.

So after putting together several "crises" that we could solve for authenticity, that's when I started to run into problems. Out of nowhere, Mayor Mare is asking for 17,000 bits to avoid being kicked out of town hall. I need your help to spread the word so I can start collecting donations. We'll need an incentive. Like, top donors get an extra hour in the Ashleigh Ball Pit!

Please help,

Rainbow Dash

---

Dear Rainbow Dash,

So after reading this letter, I take it you are to blame for the dragon, ursa minor, and parasprite swarm currently rampaging through town. These are your "crises" we're going to solve? This is going to cost us 17,000 bits?

If you pull this off, I'm making you the head accountant for the Kingdom of Friendship. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to play in the Ashleigh Ball Pit.

Sincerely,
Princess Twilight Sparkle

Author's Note:

Fillies and gentlecolts, DashCon; tumblr's very own version of Las Pegasus Unicon.

This train wreck was too beautiful not to take a shot at a parody. Hope you enjoyed.

Comments

[Harmony Charmer]

Sweet Lord.

[The Grey Pegasus]

Um, wow.

[MacIsBest859]

Are they playing the card game? Is that a suitcase? Does that make that one an honest to God living, breathing Mr Suitcase?! It's believed his kind went extinct somewhere around Homelands! And to see one on film in the modern day is nothing short of mind shattering.

[meerkat8472]

The Ashleigh Ball Pit? Sounds... Stimulating.

[articunos bitch]

Is there going to be a Tara Strong Man contest? The Bearded Andrea Libwoman contest? A Nicole Olive Tree? Tourism passports to Tabitha St. Germainia?

[FanOfMostEverything]

That's almost depressing. Almost. It's still rather hilarious.

[azednew]

Lel
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/792/613/ca2.gif

[Web of Hope]

4687172 the Ashliegh Ball pit killed me, and you just resurrected me and killed me again

[Pen Brush]

I see an Eriden cosplayer!

[Jondor]

And here I thought Rainbow's "social gathering" would be a "party" which would sound like a good idea, until she found she was not properly equipped to be the center of attention.

Me and my dirty mind.

Ashleigh Ball Pit was pretty good instead.

[Blitz the Dragon]

@author's note

Holy Jesus...What is that?! WHAT THE FK IS THAT?!!

[milesprower06]

4687928 This weekend's entertainment, that's what that is.

[kooarbiter]

do they have twilight's shipping card game? i hope so

4687172 tee hee

[BronyWriter]

You spoke the name of the Scottish Con! Now misfortune will befall you!

[Alticron]

I wonder if anyone urinated in the Ashleigh Ball pit.

[Scarheart]

4687172 No, but you get to skin a live Justin Beiber and make a hat.

[carrotmoon]

So you went to DashCon, was it fun?

[milesprower06]

4689375 I did not. I am just reading about it.

[Spirit Shift]

4689398 I still haven't! Daheq is Dashcon?

[SuperPinkBrony12]

4690150 Check Equestria Daily, I'm pretty sure they'll have the answer.

[Spirit Shift]

4690194 Nope nothing

[ShiningNova]

4690150 Go forth and learn http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/events/dashcon

[Spirit Shift]

4690627
Yay learning!
.
.
.
.
Oh god why did I need to know about this

[Ruby Rose]

Fucking Dashcon.

More like grab-the-cash-and-Dashcon!

[asmcint]

Ha! Once I read the chapter title, I knew what this'd be about. You get an extra hour in the ball pit, sir. Just ignore the smell of ammonia and the slight dampness.

[Bronze Statue]

4688568 The better thing to wonder is if anyone didn't.

[SuperPinkBrony12]

4690627 How disgraceful. That would be the equivalent of planning a con for a major fanbase, promising to get all or most of the talent behind it, and tons of other things, only to not have any of that at the actual convention. Let's hope it never happens.

[ShiningNova]

4693407 I find myself believing that the entire con was a scam. Especially after the $17000.00 dollar nonsense. But I've also heard that some folks have a good time there. Who knows but this makes unicon look like bronycon.

[keaton-furman-prower]

Dear Twilight and Rainbow Dash:

I may or may not have placed a couple of explosive devices in the Ashleigh Ball Pit. Enjoy!

Sincerely, Princess Celestia.

P.S.: Now you have a real crisis you can solve! Fun, no?

P.P.S.: You owe me 17,000 bits. Those explosives aren't cheap

[Magical Pegasister]

That's just sad...

[Sinful Pickle]

Dear Twilight,

What if I offered you an extra hour in the ball pit?

-Rainbow Dash

P.S. Ignore the pee smell.

[Neko Majin C]

I do not even know what...

KBO.

[Kichi]

How is the thing about the questions in the special chapters? because i have a couple for them

[milesprower06]

4709239 I have only done that twice so far on special occasions.

[Kichi]

4709727 Do you usually do warnings or something like that before?

[milesprower06]

4709735 Yes. First time I took submissions for three days. Second time I took submissions for three months.

[Kichi]

4709740 WOOW, that's too much I liked the letters, what I wonder is (sorry if this could be bad) the "intelligence" of Twilight, I mean... Really she believe in SIDS that only Alicorn can get?

[milesprower06]

4709752 Not too much for some. Apparently, some readers who wanted to submit missed the big, bold, underlined red text saying I was taking submissions.

[Eclipse LunarSol]

Strangely enough, I didn't find this chapter/letter that funny. No snicker or giggle. May I offer my sick and twisted sense of humor in assistance?

(In case you haven't guessed, this just a joke. You don't need help at all, this was just too short and didn't give me anything to really laugh at.)

[SCP Pinkamena]

Some one peed in the ball pit. There is an outbreak of Crabs in the Ball pit...

[Starlight Nova]

Will you ever do the whole "Letters To The Disgruntled Cast" thing again? I really liked that part.

[milesprower06]

4807258 Possibly.

[Voldine]

4709752

SIDS - Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

AIDS - Acquired Immuno-Deficiency Syndrome.

What a difference a simple typo in an acronym can make.

[Safhell]

4815817 AIDS- Alicorn immuno-deficiency syndrome

[Somber Star]

4815817
Auto-Immune Deficiency System

Although to be fair, I'm not sure which part of your body's Immune System is NOT automatic.

[Moonlight_Mist]

4709752
You’re missing an even more blatant flaw in the claim of Alicorn AIDS in the Apple Family. the virus that would cause A-AIDS, likely something like AEIV (Ascendant Equine Immunodeficiency Virus), doesn’t affect non-Alicorn immune cells by definition. If it doesn’t affect non-Alicorn immune cells, then it can’t infect the Apple Family. If it can’t infect the Apple Family, it can’t persist within the Apple Family. If it can’t persist within the Apple Family, then Twilight can’t contract it from the Apple Family.

8771007
AIDS = Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome. I don’t know where you got Auto or System
It’s acquired because you don’t contract AIDS. AIDS isn’t a pathogen. AIDS is the state of a body in which the Immunodeficiency Virus has taken root. The virus that would lead to A-AIDS would be something like AEIV (Ascendant Equine Immunodeficiency Virus). The nature of such a specifically tailored Immunodeficiency Virus causes Applejack’s ruse to fall right apart...or at least it would, if Twilight didn’t suddenly become OOC whenever it was brought up. Seriously, if anything from the Apple Family is contagious, it’s the Apple Family Stupid. Just being around an Apple Pony (Go away iPone salesmare, you’re not wanted here) clearly must have some passive effect on intelligence; it’s like a passive skill in an RPG or something. It makes anypony within a 10 meter radius stupid in order to provide the illusion that Apply Ponies are smarter than they are. Likely a defense mechanism for this particular breed of Earth Pony. Their biology needed to do something to counter the obscene rate of...and I just lost myself there. Sorry y’all, guess I...wait...’y’all’? Applejack, I know you’re behind me. Make like your namesake (Jack, not Apple-and I mean it iPone salesmare! Why are you still here?!) and buck off!