Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by milesprower06

Sounds of Silence

Additional contributions by MixMassBasher.

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Dear Twilight Sparkle,

Flanks don't lie? You forgot about the time that Discord pretty much messed with the map and our fucking glowing flanks!

The mare of honesty,
Applejack

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Dear Starlight,

Maybe you should've been the one to visit the peaks. You do have personal experience with problems of bottling up your anger and going to physical extremes to subdue anything.

Your friends,
Applejack and Fluttershy

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To Applejack and Fluttershy,

Sorry, but Friendship quests are for two ponies at a time, with the exception of Spike, not one.

The Tree of Harmony,
Treelike Barkle

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Dear Treelike Barkle,

Excuse me, but I'm standing right here.

Sincerely,
Starlight Glimmer

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Dear Autumn Blaze,

You talk to inanimate objects, too!?

Signed,
Princess Skystar

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Dear Fluttershy and Applejack,

The Kirins took a vow of silence? Does that mean that Kirin are very quiet during sex?

Fascinated,
Twilight Sparkle

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Dear Twilight Sparkle,

Don't get any funny ideas. We Kirin love angry sex, and even when silenced, if you find yourself in bed with a Nirik, you'll find entirely new definitions of the word 'bottom'.

Sincerely,
Autumn Blaze

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Dear Autumn Blaze,

So it was the decision of your village leader and some lake that led to you kirin’s vow of silence?

I figured it was going to be some sort of wibbily wobbly timey wimey...stuff with about how some prophecy in which when the question is answered, silence will fall.

Your friend,
Applejack

P.S. Also, let me introduce you to Sweetie Belle. She can help you with your pronunciation problem.

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’Cause this show gave a good run, now we must end its reign,

Otherwise G5 won't get its due turn.

No season ten thereafter or it'll get a little plain.

It's a lesson that the viewers should learn.

No matter how bad the news was given,

The fandom will keep ponies livin'.

Sometimes good things come to an end!!!

Yes, sometimes good things come to an end!!

Author's Note:

Comments

[FanOfMostEverything]

Given the Rapidash incident, Twilight might be one of the few ponies who could survive a night with a nirik...

[CassandraMyOCisBestpony]

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

Flanks don't lie? You forgot about the time that Discord pretty much messed with the map and our fucking glowing flanks!

The mare of honesty,
Applejack

Dear Applejack,

This gives me a great idea for a new research project - the study of whether flanks do in fact, not lie. Over the course of a year, I’ll be studying ponies’ flanks very closely. Thank you for volunteering to be my first test subject

Sincerely,
Twilight Sparkle.

[Neko Majin C]

My dearest Mistress Headmistress Princess Twilight Sparkle,

If you would please allow me to express my concern for your idea to add Autumn Blaze to your stable of sexy mares, I would like to point out that she can turn into fire. It would be imprudent to lock her in your sex dungeon with the others because she would likely burn the place down. We would have to keep her under a shower head or keep a fire extinguisher close by at all times in case she gets angry. And a constantly wet and imprisoned Kirin is always angry. It would cost you a fortune to pay that monthly water bill and replace all those empty fire extinguishers. Not to mention trying to have sex with her in Nirik form. Talk about a fire crotch.

Signed your loyal slave and ex-arsonist fire prevention professional,
Neko Majin C.

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~KBO.