Twilight Sparkle is being sent to Ponyville to learn about friendship. She's not happy about it.
Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06
Hiatus Bonus Chapter
Update from Canterlot High
Dear Princess Twilight,
Oh, where the hell do I begin? I know it's only been a few months since you left, but things have pretty much stayed retarded. Why did I stay again?
Long story short, some guy robbed a convenience store and was stopped a few blocks away by a cop, simply because he wasn't walking on the sidewalk. Instead of just getting up on the walk, the dumbass swears at the officer, then gets into a confrontation with him. All in all, he was shot and killed, and now there's a whole lot of people claiming that race was the primary factor in this; that this guy was just some innocent kid. Are you kidding me? Race? Last I checked we have like, every different skin color imaginable here.
So there have been riots and protests. Yep, you read that right. People are actually protesting that a cop shot a criminal. Half of Canterlot High staged a walkout. Why? Well, I suppose to emulate what it's like to be an uneducated thug, I don't know. Flash Sentry even tried to get an #OrangeLivesMatter hashtag started on Twitter.
They say stupidity isn't a virus, but damn is it spreading like one.
Sincerely,
Sunset Shimmer
Dear Sunset,
Yeah, that happened here too, parallel worlds and all. I've been laughing at most of it.
Say, what took you so long? I thought I told you, write me an update every night around ten. I don't care if nothing happened, just write something.
I do oh-so love it when my book here vibrates.
Sincerely,
Princess Twilight of Ponyville
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. . . . . . .
Sure.
Orange lives do not matter.
Exactly what I thought when I saw how Celestia's book went off.
...Ew.
Apathy. It's what makes me smile at all the troubles.
This fuels my apathy. I love it.
In before the drama, and great satire chapter btw.
And for those that want drama, it's just weird how a thug gets shot and everyone riots, but if a bosnian guy in St. Louis gets killed by a gang of thugs yelling "Kill Whitey" it doesn't get reported and isn't being charged as a hate crime.
Ah, double standards.
5345188
I love how we always hear about cases like tryvon or mike, but never the other way around, with a black cop and a white criminal
5345251 Yup, and statistically the vast percentage of cop v criminal shootings are white cop on white dumbass. Thing is, the St. Louis Bosnian community is very tight nit and the majority of them are survivors of the ethnic cleansing that happened in the Balkans back in the 90s. There is going to be retaliation, and it is going to be bloody. Don't get me wrong, the Bosnian I've met are great people and I'd gladly have them at my back in a fight, but god damn those folks hold grudges for hundreds of years. Might take 30 years, but they'll get payback on this.
5345252 Yup, kind of how forty something of reported sexual assaults and abusive relationships are on men, BUT due to a loophole in the law *cough deliberately written cough* it is technically impossible to rape a guy. Even if (and this is an actual court case) the chick takes a drunk guy and jams a chopstick up his dick to keep him hard. That isn't rape, just a low rated sexual assault.
The legal system is fucked up.
Implying I'm interested at hearing political opinions about shit happening half a world away from me in an usually funny fanfic. Just sayin'.
That comma is superfluous.
Dear Sunset Shimmer,
I am writing to you in secret to to tell you that-
...Uuh... that the Magnificent and Magnanimous Princess Twilight Sparkle really does look forward to your communications. She is the happiest I see her when she gets them. I swear that that smile she gets is very close to an ahegao. I wonder why that is... The Magnanimous Princess Twilight Sparkle is always very kind to this lowly slave. However, whenever she gets your special
massagesmessages, she is even more kind, if that is even possible.Did I mention how wonderful and magnanimous she is?
Oh, Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle, I did not see you there. How may I make your life a little better?
...Go scrub the toilets, you dumbass. And put on the maid outfit!
Yes, Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle, your will be done, your majesty.
Signed Princess Twilight Sparkle's personal slave and and plumber,
Neko Majin C.
KBO.
I noticed that the response letters fic was not included in the related fics...
Knighty, you fail yet again!
A-freakin-men, Sunset!
Regarding all of this, I'm most upset over the rioting. Those people burned down and looted from buildings that had nothing to do with this case, and threw rocks and junk at police officers and other people. They could've killed innocent people with those projectiles! What the hell does that help?!
I'm sorry for bringing in drama. I've just had to rant about this.
5345296 Implying others here don't find ponified political satire humorous.
5345417 For me it does. 6th one down.
#OrangeLivesMatter
Flash is a disgrace (even more than he usually is)
.........
Hilarious and spot on.
Not that I have anything against spotted ponies or anything.
I don't fucking believe it! They found three zebras to put on that grand jury?! Wow, they must have scoured Equestria to find three, because we've only seen one in the past four seasons.
If anything, this dragon is appalled most of all by the fact that the zebra community decided to rally around the death of a colt who stole some cigars and got shot as their cause, when they had much better cause to rally around the death of that zebra stallion in Manehattan, who was choked out by a guard as he was subduing him, which as far as I can tell was completely unnecessary.
5345433 Mine only showed three... maybe cause I was on my tablet
Coming next Summer, Equestria Girls: Battle Royale!
5345175
Apathy is death.
In other news, the President of the Minotauran Federation made his annual state of the union speech today, decrying Equestrian sanctions over the annexation of the Cropean Peninsula. He emphasized that the land, historically known as the Tauric Peninsula, belonged in the Minotauran Federation, and that the locals supported this turn of events. As for Equestria, his comments (roughly translated) ammounted to "Fuck 'em. What are they gonna do about it, ask nicely for us to give it back and then sulk when we don't?"
5345280
I bet they love nightmare moon
That just about sums it up, aye.
5345421 Great minds think alike. Violence against people who had nothing to do with the case will solve nothing. All it does is make YOU look like the bad guy.
5345445 This is where being a technical genius outweighs sanity. A miniature amplifier and a secondary buzzer stuffed into the phone makes for entertainment.
5345136 HAHAHA!!!!! Twilight probably uses it as a sex toy. Wouldn't put it past her...
Seriously, although your chapter was hilarious as always (and you posted it on my birthday too), I'm really sick of hearing about Ferguson. I been starting to shift around uncomfortably every time anything related to that case comes on the news. Same with the New York case (speaking of that case, are you going to do a parody on that too).
5346096 Happy birthday!
Okay... Can I be disgusted with Sunset and Twilight? Cause I think I am.
5346314 I'd be worried if you weren't.
5346356 Oh good, I was a bit woried that you might be serious as some people seem to actually have opinions like this.
5346404 Keep in mind, I designed Twilight to be the least likable character I could.
As much as I'd like to hope that has all been exaggerated by the media, the sad fact is how this whole situation was allowed to infect everyone's minds. The whole case shouldn't have been used to incite violence yet the news constantly decided to slip in those subtle hints of racism and turn human beings against each other. Now everyone's out for their version of 'justice'.
5346091 Yikes O.O
This isn't funny. Nor is it right.
5347554 fc06.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/058/3/1/that__s_nice_by_megasweet-d3ajui8.jpg
5346135 thanks!
5346135 thanks!
5346528 Thank you for proving my point about how many of the people who support Wilson are racist. Have a nice life.
5346691 Your expression tells me you've never texted someone while they were hiding their phone between their thighs. (Dammit, there's no :O face smiley)
5347964 fortunately (or i guess unfortunately) not. XD
Welp, I found this, but after about 20 minutes of Google searching, I can only find copies of it and am thus unsure of how much, if any, of it is true. Can anyone provide links to credible sources regarding the info here please?
i.imgur.com/SUY3XLJ.jpg
5348392
I found a Washington Post article from last month about an altercation between the
grandmotherbiological father's mother-in-law and the mother, and a Snopes article that mostly debunks the image you're asking about. If the Snopes thing isn't good enough (some people accuse it of being left-wing), the Washington Post article already pokes a few holes in this image's claims. It's not much, but it's a start.Boy, we just love to start our riots don't we?
The world is full of stupid people, and one day we're going to get that ultimate moron who has too much power and basically pushes the button that kills us all because he was offended at something.
5348617
Thanks. It does look like someone found out about the merchandise thing and tried to spin it for their own opinion.
Still doesn't change that there are idiots who think destroying and looting are good ways to protest...or at least take advantage of the people who were protesting peacefully.
The banishment bit is a bit off. It wasn't deciding not to banish. It was deciding not to have a full process over whether to banish.
5345251
A black cop or security guard (can't remember) shot a white kid at the University of Alabama w/in the last few weeks.
There you're welcome.
I usually love the satire in this series, and I'm not going to get all butthurt about it, but are any of you zebras? It's a different story on the wrong side of the castle walls. Should the orange guy have been shot?
Also screw Flash Sentry. Not the orangelivesmatter, just in general, he's kind of a tool.
And, as per usual, you didn't actually comment on the point people are actually making. Whether or not Brown's killing was racially motivated is irrelevant. What's absolutely important is that had Brown been a white kid, Officer Wilson would have absolutely been indicted. That's what people are saying, but of course like everyone on your side does you only address the extremist strawman and not the actual issue. Its no different than an MRA bitching about some random tumblr chick saying various words are sexist, and uses this a springboard to say that the very real issues of wage differences, abortion rights restrictions and rape apologists are also just wacky feminist theories too.
I have enjoyed your MLP-related satire, but if you're going to comment on a serious issue, it helps to actually learn what people are saying. At best, it makes you look uneducated and way in over your head, at worst it makes you seem cruel and, yes, racist.
5351317
*cranky old man voice* I mean in the large scale media!