Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by milesprower06

Top Bolt

Additional contributions by MixMassBasher

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Dear Spitfire,

Was it really a good idea for Twilight to teach a whole class? She might have ended up teaching the students sex-ed halfway, and that's not exactly ideal.

Your fellow Wonderbolt,
Rainbow Dash

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Dear Rainbow Dash,

Yeah, here's the thing; that's kinda what I was going for. Class after class of recruits has me kinda pent up, and Soarin' wasn't putting out, so I figured if I invited her up here, getting laid would be easy.

Am I just that unlucky, or are her sexcapades down in Ponyville exaggerated?

Sincerely,
Captain Spitfire

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T-Sparks and The Dashinator,

Urm, I just wanted you to know, you two are still my favorite ponies in all of Equestria. So, please don't shoot me with a rainbow or something.

Your biggest fan,
Angel Wings

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Dear Sky Stinger and Vapor Trail,

Just kiss already, you nincompoops!!

Genuinely annoyed,
Princess Cadence

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Dear Sky Stinger,

The Princess of Flying? Got that covered.

-Flurry Heart

P.S. Don't try Princess of Farming either. Big Mac’s got that title.

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Dear Flurry Heart,

Puh-leeze, your majesty. With your vastly out-of-proportion wing-to-body ratio, you are not nearly as agile as a normal pegasus. The only thing those wings are going to be good for later in life is going to be a super-obvious signal that you're aroused and in need of a good rutting.

Then I can come down from the sky and give you a little sting, if you know what I mean.

Wink.

Sincerely,
Sky Stinger

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Dear Cousin Lighting Dust,

You wouldn't believe who helped me get into the Wonderbolt Academy.

Your cousin,
Sky Stinger

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Dear Spitfire,

I have a few name suggestions for the two recruits Twilight and I helped out.

Vapor Trail: Tweedledee, Under Shadow, Winglady ect.

Sky Stinger: Tweedledum, High Strung ect

I also thought about "Undertail" for Vapor, but upon further review, I concluded that it was just terrible.

Signed,
Rainbow Dash

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Dear Management of the Rainbow Factory,

̥͚͍̙͉̳̻T̰̘̰̥͘hè̠̗̝͍̞͙̞ŕḙ̺̰ͅ were two potential cḁ̭̣̰̦n̦̗̲̯͍̠d̝̼͈̤̼͇̙i͎͎͖̮d͔̥̮̦a̻̯̱̕t̜̗͎̥ͅe̜̫̝s͏̮͓͉̲̻̳ to create even more colorful ŗ̮̩̦̩̤̦̘a̠̙̼͕͠i̷͍̘̮͍n̸͚͉̗̪̼b̳̦̤̬ơ̫̗̰̘̯w̬͔̖s͘ for our glorious pegasus skies, but P̰̘r͕̟͕̯͖ͅi̹͞n̩̤̼͓̥͡c̘e̬̫̱̮̜s̢̖͔̗s̠ ̛̟͈͎T̢̞̤̣͖̼̞w̛̩͚̙į͎͚̰l͙̳̱̼͈͡iͅg͈̲̼͞h̛̲̰ͅt Sparkle ruined t͈͍̞͉h̴̩̖̪a̰̺͕ț ̱̘̻͚͕o̭͉̲̥̜̪p̹̗̞͠p̼̜̻͚̰̫o̴̱r̖t̵̻̮̠̞͓u̳̥͕̹͉̣n͔̘͇̩̞̺̟i̗̯ţ̦̝̙̱̠y̸̝̘.
̟͚̥͉̗̼̺

̙Your loyal servant,
Rainbow "Factory" Dash

Author's Note:

Comments

[Brony Soprano]

Well... That last part wasn't creepy at all. At all.

[JimboTex]

I'm surprised that Cadance didn't demand that they get a room and rut already.

[SuperPinkBrony12]

7977907 Nah, that Twilight's job.

[Jman14102]

Dear Management of the Rainbow Factory,

̥͚͍̙͉̳̻T̰̘̰̥͘hè̠̗̝͍̞͙̞ŕḙ̺̰ͅ were two potential cḁ̭̣̰̦n̦̗̲̯͍̠d̝̼͈̤̼͇̙i͎͎͖̮d͔̥̮̦a̻̯̱̕t̜̗͎̥ͅe̜̫̝s͏̮͓͉̲̻̳ to create even more colorful ŗ̮̩̦̩̤̦̘a̠̙̼͕͠i̷͍̘̮͍n̸͚͉̗̪̼b̳̦̤̬ơ̫̗̰̘̯w̬͔̖s͘ for our glorious pegasus skies, but P̰̘r͕̟͕̯͖ͅi̹͞n̩̤̼͓̥͡c̘e̬̫̱̮̜s̢̖͔̗s̠ ̛̟͈͎T̢̞̤̣͖̼̞w̛̩͚̙į͎͚̰l͙̳̱̼͈͡iͅg͈̲̼͞h̛̲̰ͅt Sparkle ruined t͈͍̞͉h̴̩̖̪a̰̺͕ț ̱̘̻͚͕o̭͉̲̥̜̪p̹̗̞͠p̼̜̻͚̰̫o̴̱r̖t̵̻̮̠̞͓u̳̥͕̹͉̣n͔̘͇̩̞̺̟i̗̯ţ̦̝̙̱̠y̸̝̘.

̟͚̥͉̗̼̺

̙Your loyal servant,

Rainbow "Factory" Dash

Ah, there is always next time around. There are plenty of other "canidates" available...

[Neko Majin C]

Vapor Trail: Tweedledee, Under Shadow, Winglady ect.

Sky Stinger: Tweedledum, High Strung ect

The proper abbreviation for etcetera is etc.

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Dear Starlight,

Fun is fun, but do not think you can be like Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle. Only she may defenestrate me from this castle. No means no without our Mistress. Because of you, I will be laid up for a week or two, falling behind on my chores and missing out on whatever fun adventures our Mistress will be having next. But I will let it go because I have no defense against your magic am such a nice guy. So, could you please tell our Mistress I will get back to my chores when I heal from my wounds inflicted on me by you my own negligence? Thank you.

Signed Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle's loyal slave and your platonic, PLATONIC, Starlight, friend,
Neko Majin C.

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~KBO.

[Sols Sojurn]

So glad I'm just the janitor for this place.

[Spartan-Guy 88]

Am I the only one who found it rather odd that in some instances the latest recruits were making airplane propeller noises while flying?

That said, I enjoyed this episode. Sky Stinger and Vapor Trail were among my favorite new characters of the season; along with Quibble Pants (Patton Oswald is one of my favorite comedians).

[Lithl]

7978349

The proper abbreviation for etcetera is etc.

The proper expansion of etc. is et cetera.

[Hclegend]

I also thought about "Undertail" for Vapor, but upon further review, I concluded that it was just terrible.

Goddammed Rule 34...

[MixMassBasher]

7981860 I think that was just referencing Undertale the game

[Hclegend]

7982454 It also unintentionally referenced the porn side of Undertale. Or maybe it was intentional. Hell if I know.

[milesprower06]

7983269 The one thing about this story that has amazed me the most, other than the amount of people that read it, is absolutely, how many references of mine are 100% unintentional.

[Hclegend]

7983280 I half expected that answer because I'm weird.

[Alphamon_Ouryuken]

7972544 Because Rainbow Factory!Rainbow Dash is a foal-murdering bitch.

[milesprower06]

7988441 Dubbed, on Hulu, and I stopped at the beginning of Season 4.

Mainly because I found the subbed version of Sonic X, which I have started marathoning with my fiance.

[Alex Warlorn]

Rainbow Factory? Really? Isn't that kinda over done?

[milesprower06]

7997816 I could think of so many things that are more overdone than that in this fic.

[Coyotek4]

[Spartan-Guy 88] I enjoyed this episode. Sky Stinger and Vapor Trail were among my favorite new characters of the season; along with Quibble Pants (Patton Oswald is one of my favorite comedians).

In a short span of time, I've now heard Patton Oswald in MLP, We Bare Bears, Archer, and the Simpsons. If that's not running the gamut of western animation, I don't know what is.

(Note to self: find a copy of 'Big Fan' and rewatch.)

[Coyotek4]

As I have little time binge-watching 'Breaking Bad' or 'Game of Thrones', binge-reading all chapters of this will have to do. (And hey, I didn't miss the season finale! OR the 4th EG movie!)

In a nutshell: I love the idea of this Fic (and what I consider its spiritual partner, "Letter from an Irritated Princess"), and I especially enjoy the bite-size quickie remarks. I may love the 'Author's Notes' even more. Not a fan of when the soapbox comes out and 'current' issues get the spotlight, but if I don't care for a particular chapter, I can just skip.

Overall, fun stuff!

[milesprower06]

8014975 Can't believe there are still readers willing to marathon this thing.

[JimboTex]

I also thought about "Undertail" for Vapor, but upon further review, I concluded that it was just terrible.

Even Sans is unamused by this pun.

[BenRG]

That animated Death Star trench GIF reminds me of a story idea I had once of the Wonderbolts attacking a Changeling hive in a similar way...