Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by milesprower06

Pinkie Apple Pie

Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06

Pinkie Apple Pie

Dear Pinkie,

You do realize that the only reason the Apples considered you a part of their family is so there'd be one more pony to rut, right?

You see, when a family like that gets horny...

Well, stop by the library when you've got time. This isn't the most appropriate thing to discuss in a letter. Although I must admit, when you went over the waterfall, it was quite impressive how the only thing you lost was 35 pounds of bacon.

Nice photo of Big Mac's ass though. Damn I want that.

Sincerely,
Twilight

Dear Applejack,

Cousin! Let's go bowling!

-Pinkie

~We travel the highway of information
And then an idea spawned
We write and we post our fine narration
On our Fimfiction and beyond

We're cloppers forever, cloppers together
Horse sex but so much more
Appledashers have you read O's story
Where AJ is a whore?

There's no place that I'd rather flee
When Twilight's at the li-brary
Friends all around come join with me
As we chase her out of our land

We're shippers forever, shippers together
Our OTP's we adore
For BDSM, strap them tight in leather
And leave subs red and sore

Now we're not perfect, nowhere close, sweet pea
But at least we're better than EqD
Haters may say we'll burn for our sin
But just keep on writing, shipping for the win!

Writing's more fun with your favorite kink
Like shipping Rainbow with the kitchen sink
I need some more, come on send the link
As we touch ourselves 'til we're mad

We're clopping together, taking forever
This climax is a chore
Whenever we come, we will face the weather
We're cloppers to the core

Comments

[SpitFlame]

hm, nice chapter

[Proudtobe]

Huh... should have watched the episode before reading that. Because then I would laugh even more. Ooh, well. TO YOUTUBE!

[Reisentanith]

APPLEJACK! MY COUSIN! Maybe sometime we go Bowling, Yes?

[laser68]

dat bowling joke XD
Edit: i ended up replaying the song just so i could sing it with those lyrics

[Phazon]

I thought you weren't doing same-day letters anymore.

[Camlio]

I kinda want to see the stories mentioned in this chapter now...

[milesprower06]

3770710 This wasn't technically same day. I've been working on the parody song for 4 weeks now.

[laser68]

3770710 I am not complaining, this is brilliant

[silvadel]

Well they are "kissing cousins." I mean they merely share a great grandparent (the definition of 4th cuz 2 removed).

[SuperPinkBrony12]

Nice photo of Big Mac's ass though. Damn I want that.

It's official, PinkieMac is now canon. (Eat your heart out Fluttermac fans.)

~We travel the highway of information

And then an idea spawned

We write and we post our fine narration

On our Fimfiction and beyond

We're cloppers forever, cloppers together

Horse sex but so much more

Appledashers have you read O's story

Where AJ is a whore?

There's no place that I'd rather flee

When Twilight's at the li-brary

Friends all around come join with me

As we chase her out of our land

We're shippers forever, shippers together

Our OTP's we adore

For BDSM, strap them tight in leather

And leave subs red and sore

Now we're not perfect, nowhere close, sweet pea

But at least we're better than EqD

Haters may say we'll burn for our sin

But just keep on writing, shipping for the win!

Writing's more fun with your favorite kink

Like shipping Rainbow with the kitchen sink

I need some more, come on send the link

As we touch ourselves 'til we're mad

We're clopping together, taking forever

This climax is a chore

Whenever we come, we will face the weather

We're cloppers to the core

It's brilliant! Brilliant! Brilliant, I say! Genius, I say!

Edit: Wow, apparently someone's a real Fluttermac fan, or doesn't like this chapter. Well then why you even hanging around here?

[Imperator Chiashi Zane]

3770676
It's not on Youtube yet! NOOO!!!

[Lexathet]

This..This is the most beautiful thing ever, and after seeing in an author note, that there was a video of a nice little reading this guy did, it gave me the idea to read ALL of these and upload it as a series to YouTube. But I wanted to ask, is it alright if I do them all?

[milesprower06]

3770875 Sure, go for it. Looking forward to them!

[Shadow Star]

suggestion:
split this into diff stories by season.
avoids the chapter deluge...
and lets those the despise crapcanon avoid it while still being able to read the good stuff.

[milesprower06]

3770917 Even if they allowed me to do that, I won't be doing that.

[Henki Pie]

We're cloppers to the core.
This is awesome!

[Swift Decision]

3770678

Not now, cousin, I'm busy kidnapping an alicorn princess. Maybe some other time.

[Gapeagle]

I read the song in all their voices... Gah....

[Wolloh Esrever]

I'm saving that poem rigth NOW

[The Grey Pegasus]

Really, the first thing I thought in this episode was "It must be real hard keeping track of geneology with all that inbreeding going on..."

Dear Applejack,
Cousin! Let's go bowling!
-Pinkie

Oh god, oh god why.

I'm going to find that kitchen sink story now, because I know it exists. It's probably in my read later actually...

[RaisingShad0ws]

I'm sorry, But I can't read this. I mean there's nothing wrong, it's a short summary of each episode with a Bitch Twilight doing the narration, but I can't read this. It's just my personal opinion but if it were an actual story instead of recaps of what happened in the show I would read it, but for all honesty's sake I couldn't get into the story. Bitch Twilight was just too bitchy and had no reason to be bitch twilight in the first place. At least, that's how I saw it.

[JimboTex]

Nice photo of Big Mac's ass though.

Glad to see I'm not the only one to notice Pinkie's strange obsession with Mac's ass.

3771236

Really, the first thing I thought in this episode was "It must be real hard keeping track of geneology with all that inbreeding going on..."

Relevant to this comment:

[MythrilMoth]

What, no callout to Apple Bloom doing the Ponylicious meme?

[Biker_Dash]

Miles, with that song, you just Ascended.
Now, stick a horn on your fucking forehead!

[Princess Cadence]

No Applebloom-licious?

[CassandraMyOCisBestpony]

The Applebloom-licious scene was a metaphor for how the internet is destroying society.

[TotallyNotFurry]

3771236 The story's called "But the kitchen sink"

[Kiryu]

Dear Applejack,

Cousin! Let's go bowling!

-Pinkie

@0:54

[SuperPinkBrony12]

3771317 Now how long til someone makes a "Dat Ass" video with that ass shot?

3771094 Oh, okay. But seriously, why we don't do anything together anymore? Whatever happened to them good ol days?

[Dio]

Brilliant.

[1stChosenStar]

Beautiful simply Beautiful.

[Kail]

That song was brilliant.

[Confusion_]

Am I the only one a little indifferent to the song? I mean it was ok but- Wait, got a phone call, one moment.

Cousin, let's go bowling!

Not now Roman. Anyway, as I was saying- *Sigh* 1 second.

Cousin, let's get drunk!

Not now. Now the-

Cousin, let's go see big american titties!

I DON'T WANT TO GO FUCKING BOWL- Wait, a strip club? I'll get my coat, I'll go pick you up.

What was I saying? Fuck it, I got to go on business now, we'll discuss whatever it was we were discussing later.

[WanderingPony]

I think you hit your stride again with this one. The song....helped.

[meerkat8472]

Um, I don't the bowling joke. The song was excellent though, someone find a good VA and make it already.

[keaton-furman-prower]

...Oh god, that version of the song

[keaton-furman-prower]

Dear MilesPrower06:

However did you come up with such intricately crafted lyrics?

Your biggest fan, Princess Celestia.

[Frission]

3772356 It's a GTA 4 reference, to Roman. xD

[DbzOrDie]

3771252
You're missing the point here. Twilight is bitchy because it's funny, not because that's anything like her character.

[meerkat8472]

3772377 Ah, I haven't played that game, that you for telling me.

[milesprower06]

3772356 People said that with my parody of Celestia's Ballad too. I don't think you're gonna have much luck with that.

[meerkat8472]

3772471 I know, which is a real shame. Oh well, still a fantastic song.

[BronyDave]

Lost it at the Roman reference.
Simply brilliant! ^_^

[RaisingShad0ws]

3772449 maybe so, But I personally don't like that. I got up to dragonshy, so I did try it, but honestly I didn't like where the character was going as the, "Story," Progressed. I use that term loosely because personally I see that it's only a review of what happened in the episode that transpired. But that's my interpretation of this, if you like it more power to you.

[Barix123]

and it won't be complete without the song. great remix by the way.

[ElkinFencer10]

SOMEONE NEEDS TO RECORD THIS VERSION OF THE SONG. If I weren't trying to get a job teaching in a public high school, I'd totally set that as my ringtone.

[Majora God of Chaos]

Dear Applejack,

Cousin! Let's go bowling!

-Pinkie

I..... Seriously, I couldn't help but read it in Roman's voice. And I only got an hour into GTA IV.

[treos]

still like the cover art for this fic, the original and current one (mainly because that face is perfect ), but with twilight an alicorn now its missing some wings.

[milesprower06]

3773843
fc08.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2013/076/f/b/bbbff_twilicorn_by_scourge707-d5ydw1c.png

[Albi]

I'd say the song killed me, but your story's already done that like three times by now. I don't think I can die anymore.