//------------------------------//
// Cutie Mark Chronicles 
// Story: Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student 
// by milesprower06 
//------------------------------//

Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06

Cutie Mark Chronicles

Dear Princess Celestia,

Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes!

Oh, sorry. I was just reminiscing about the day I got my Cutie Mark. Remember? I had been studying magic for awhile, and my parents had surprised me by signing me up for the entrance exam for your School for Gifted Unicorns. Well, you know what happened. Someone set off some kind of freaky Rainbow, triggered my untapped abilities, and you added a roof repair bill to my tuition because Fax Machine decided to get fat and punch a hole in your tower.

So today at Sugarcube Corner, I discover the three stooges are asking my friends how they got their Cutie Marks. So now, instead of discovering who they are, they're wasting time discovering who other ponies are. I've never heard of ponies that never get Cutie Marks, but damn, I think we've got three great candidates right here.

So Applejack initially hated farm life. Who knew? She took off on her own up to Manehattan to try the city life with her aunt and uncle. You would really think apples and oranges would go well together. Weird. So when she got homesick, she saw a rainbow pointing back to home. Turns out she didn't like starving herself with those binge-and-purge snobs.

Then Fluttershy shared her story of how she sucked at flying. Who would've guessed that? Also, her freefall was broken by a swarm of butterflies? Seriously? What were those things made out of, dark matter?

Then Rarity learned that her talent was gluing gems to shit and selling them to rednecks.

And apparently, Pinkie made Equestria by throwing a party in a grain silo. AFTER Equestria has been in existence for hundreds of generations. So apparently I've been living in Equestria 2: The Revenge.

The thing that ties this all together is Rainbow Dash farting a rainbow during a race in flight camp. So apparently, Rainbow Dash is the reason that I'm now living in this hellhole.

That fucking bitch.

Your screwed-by-destiny former student,
Twilight Sparkle

P.S. Scootaloo was haped.