//------------------------------// // Ten // Story: Hands // by Andrew Joshua Talon //------------------------------// Hands A My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction By Andrew J. Talon DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fanbased work of prose. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is the property of Hasbro, and the reinvention of the lovely Lauren Faust. No copyright infringement is intended, please support the official release. - - - - - - I actually once tried to figure out if there was any discernible difference in the gravity between Earth and Equestria. Turns out there isn't. That doesn't mean the planet can't be bigger than Earth, but it's got the same mass and same day length. Just providing as much information as I can to anyone who gets this back home. Though I think the fact the sun and moon orbit the planet will be a fairly hefty giveaway. In any event, it didn't actually help me get to Fluttershy's cottage any faster. A little less gravity and I might have been able to beat her before she slammed the door shut. I ran up to the door and tried to open it. It was locked. I sighed and knocked on it. "Fluttershy!" I called. The only answer I got was a pinecone to the face. "GAH!" More fire came down from the roof, and I ran for cover behind a tree. I peeked out and growled. Up on top was Angel, wearing the bunny equivalent of an army helmet with several cute critters as his army. All were well armed. I reached down to check on my double flintlock pistol, which I'd taken to carrying with me at all times. Hey, when a crazy manticore has jumped you twice you'd start packing heat too. Oh. Wait. If I shot any of her animals Fluttershy would probably kill me. Other than that snag, a perfect plan. "Look!" I shouted. "I'm just here to talk! Please Fluttershy! Call off General Cottontail!" I yanked my head out of the way as several pinecones showered my position. "Damnit..." "Go away!" Fluttershy cried. I groaned. "Look! Let me explain! Please!" Silence. I sighed and rubbed my forehead. "Look, I made a mess of things! I hurt your feelings!" I called. Still no answer. "I'm sorry about that! I really am!" I shook my head. "This is a really awkward situation, but just hiding away isn't going to help us!" Still she was silent. I groaned and rubbed my head. "Damnit... Look! Can you at least let me talk to you? Please?" "No!" She cried. I sighed. Of all the times for her to be assertive... "Please? Pretty please?" I called. Silence again. I grimaced... And I looked at my gun. "All right then..." I said. "Plan B." I pulled back the hammers on both barrels, and came out. Angel raised a paw to let loose another salvo. I turned the gun and pointed it at my head. "Look out! He's got a hostage!" I shouted, my eyes wide. "He's crazy!" The animals looked flummoxed. The door opened, and Fluttershy peeked out. "An-Andrew?" Fluttershy asked. "No! Please, please let me go!" I cried. My voice deepened. "Get in there, boy! Unless you want to get new holes in your head!" I took hold of my collar and dragged myself towards the door. "Andrew?! Are you crazy?" Fluttershy asked in disbelief. "Yes! He'll pull the trigger! He's mad I tell you, mad!" I cried, before throwing myself through the door inside. I kicked the door shut, and looked up at the shocked Fluttershy. "You... You certainly are," she said. "Now can we talk? Before the furry brigade kicks my ass?" I asked. Fluttershy took a deep breath and let it out in exasperation. "... All right." "Good..." "Okay," I said, holding up my hands. "Okay... Um... I'm just going to make this very clear, very simple, and very organized, so neither of us has any misconceptions. All right?" Fluttershy nodded. "Simple, clear, organized communication. Good. I agree." "All right," I said. "I'll go first. Is that all right?" Fluttershy nodded. "That's all right." "Okay," I said. I took a deep breath. "One, I do care for you very deeply and I find you attractive." Fluttershy nodded again, pawing the floor as she blushed. "I-I'm very glad to hear that." "Two, if I wasn't involved with Twilight, I would be very, very happy to be involved with you," I admitted, my own cheeks hot but I ignored that. "I mean, we'd need magic for compatibility for-" "Y-Yes, yes, I understand," Fluttershy said, her own face rapidly approaching the red you rarely see outside of... Some really, really red thing. I'm not bloody Attenborough here. "And three," I said, taking another deep breath to steel myself, "I am involved with Twilight and I care for her deeply too." "More than me?" Fluttershy asked. "Um... I mean, if you do, that's all right..." I stared at her, and then looked up at the ceiling. "... I'm... Not sure," I admitted with a sigh. I lowered my gaze back to her, and held out my hands a bit helplessly. "Ah. Um, well... That would be a problem," Fluttershy said with a nod. "Right," I replied. "... And I still think we should tell Twilight about this," Fluttershy said. "Ah. Right," I said. I nodded, and sucked in a breath to calm myself. "Let's just... Tell the slightly unstable super powered unicorn, whom I care about very much, that we made out. What could possibly go wrong?" "Well, uh..." Fluttershy looked out the nearby window. "Imagine what her reaction would be if she didn't find out from us..." She turned her gaze back on me, suddenly intense. "Or how... Distressed I might get from keeping something from one of my very best friends." I pointed at her and nodded. "Good point. Very good point. And I'd just like to point out, I am not interested in concealing this from Twilight just because I'm a jerk." "It's because you don't want to hurt her feelings," Fluttershy said. "Or die. Definitely don't want to hurt her feelings, and die," I said. "The first is very big, but I cannot help thinking about the second, you understand right?" "Don't worry... She wouldn't hurt you." She cocked her head. "Do you trust her so little?" "It's not that, it's more a matter of..." I waved my hands vaguely, and finally let out an exasperated sound. "It's a human thing. Very complicated. Suffice it to say, males tend to fear the wrath of females they are close to." "Well, your parents must have overcome that in order to give birth to you," Fluttershy said quite reasonably. "And... And I'm sure you and Twilight can overcome things." "Well, at least one of us is an optimist," I said dryly. - - - - - - Once again, we stood in front of Twilight's library. Once again, I knocked on the door. Curiously though, there wasn't a response. I frowned and looked over at Fluttershy. "Weird," I said. I knocked again, a bit harder this time. "Twilight! Spike?" I called. "I'm sorry I'm late, I uh, had a bit of a delay-" "NOOOO!" Twilight howled. Reason, rationality, common sense fled my mind as I half turned and rammed my shoulder into the door. It came off it's hinges, crashing down. In the same motion I pulled my pistol out of it's holster and pointed it into the house, both barrels primed with my thumb. Fluttershy dashed in next to me, her wings flared to make herself look as big as possible which cast a breeze that flared my long canvas jacket out dramatically. It was a fairly badass entrance, looking back on it now. And rather wasted on our audience: Twilight standing in the middle of the library (no longer in human form, a part of me noted in disappointment) while Spike nefariously... Switched books around on the shelves. "Hmmm... Easy Cooking for the Recluse... I think I'll put that in..." The baby dragon grinned and slid it onto another shelf, "Zoomatic Constructs!" "SPIKE! You monster, how dare you do that!" Twilight raged, twitching. Spike grinned. "Gee, maybe I should just switch around the Neigh Gaiman books... Did Equestrian Gods go before or after the Sandmare series...?" "Stop it! How could you?! I raised you to be better than this, Andrew! Fluttershy! Stop him!" Twilight cried. I set my gun down on the table nearby with a sigh, next to the bellows. I walked over, and grabbed Spike's shoulders. The dragon looked up at me in annoyance. "Hey!" "Put them back," I said sternly. "Oh, so letting her stand there for three days is a better idea?" Spike asked sarcastically. I knelt down and smiled at him. "I have a much better way to handle that," I said. Spike snorted. "Yeah, I'm sure you do," he snarked. I narrowed my eyes. "Just put them back in the right place, and then beat it. I've got to talk to Twilight alone." "Alone...? Or with Fluttershy?" Spike asked, his eyes narrowed. I sighed. "Please Spike?" I asked. I lowered my voice. "Look, if it goes badly, please know that I will probably suffer some severe personal injuries." Spike scowled, considered... "How severe?" "Oh would you get to it?" I asked flatly. Spike grumbled, but quickly put the books back in place. Twilight noticeably calmed, and the young dragon headed out with a last sour look at myself and Fluttershy. He slammed the door on his way out. Twilight sighed. "Good... Ha! Can you imagine, he thought it was silly of me to stand here, perfectly still and do nothing for three days!" Twilight laughed. "Uh... Twilight, honey, it is kind of silly," I said. Twilight scowled. "How so?" "Bathroom, food, sleep," I said calmly. Twilight huffed. "I could just resolve those with magic-" "Which would be doing something, you know that right?" I asked. Twilight's eyes widened slightly, and she sighed as she shut them. "Grrrrr...!" She opened them again and glared at me. "If you have any better ideas, I'm happy to hear them." "Well... Um... We could..." I sighed. "Do... Nothing?" "Um... Twilight," Fluttershy said. "There is something important that we need to tell you-" "Unless it has to do with saving Ponyville I'm not that interested," Twilight said bluntly. Fluttershy tapped her hooves together nervously as we shared looks. My girlfriend looked between us, curious. "What? What is it?" She asked. "Er... Well," I said, "it... Might?" "How? What is it? What happened? Are you two all right?" Twilight asked urgently. Oh boy... Knife, just keep digging... "Well... Um... You see, Fluttershy and I were clearing out Mata Hemlock plants on the edge of the Everfree Forest," I began. "I asked him to do it, you remember, those awful things kill innocent animals, they're simply awful," Fluttershy added. "Yes, I remember reading about them," Twilight said with a nod. "They're also used as an... Aphrodisiac..." She trailed off. I spoke again, quickly. "She just saw a bunny who had been killed, I was in the thick of a few of them, she was very sad, it's not her fault-" "Andrew was homesick, I was feeling lost and lonely and he really is very kind, very nice-" Fluttershy interjected but I cut back in. "And so we kissed and I'm very sorry," I said, raising my hands up. "I'm not trying to steal him from you, I'm very sorry about this," Fluttershy said. Twilight blinked rapidly. "I... You... WHAT?!" Her horn flared, and the table behind me shuddered and glowed. The bellows fell from the top onto the floor, squeezing out a blast of flames. I looked just in time to move out of the way, but the fire hit my jacket's edge and climbed up it. "AH! OH SHIT! AH!" I cried. Twilight and Fluttershy gasped. "Hold still!" Twilight cried. I yanked off my jacket and tried to throw it out the door, but Twilight's magic took hold. Surprised, I let it go and the fiery fabric flew into my girlfriend's surprised face. "AHH!" "Twilight! I've got it!" I shouted, running over and grabbing the jacket. I yanked it away and threw it to Fluttershy, who took a non-burning edge in her teeth and flew it out. I turned to Twilight and kneeled down, cupping her face and checking her for burns. She looked up at me, dazed. "Nnngh... Is... is it bad?" She asked softly. I shook my head and gently rubbed my fingers over her cheeks. "You're a bit singed, but nothing serious," I said. I raised my eyebrows. "Your hair style seems to have taken an interesting turn..." "Wh-What? Show me a mirror, quickly!" Twilight said. I let her go and looked around. Finding a mirror on another table, I took hold of it and held it out to her. Her eyes widened, and she held a hoof to her mohawk styled tresses. "Oh no... No... This is the next sign! My hair!" She gasped. "It's the same as Future Twilight's!" She shuddered. "I haven't changed anything, it's still coming!" She glared at me. "And you kissed Fluttershy and you still slept with me!" "Yes, yes I did! I chalked it up to the plants!" I said. "And now?!" Twilight said angrily. "Well, Fluttershy insisted we talk because her feelings were-" "My feelings are genuine!" Fluttershy cried as she flew back in through the door. "I'm really very sorry, Twilight! Please don't kill us!" "So, you... Care for him too?" Twilight asked. Fluttershy nodded, her hooves over her face as she whimpered. Twilight looked back at me. "And you?" "I care about her, but we're involved! I don't want to dump you! I like being with you!" I said quickly. "I care for you-Hell, I went down to a Hellmouth for you!" "Before or after you made out with Fluttershy?" Twilight asked angrily. "Before! Before!" I insisted. I reached out and rested my hands on her shoulders. I looked right into her eyes. "Please Twilight, believe me." She glared at me for a while, then back over at Fluttershy. She sighed, irritated. "We... We don't have time for this," she growled. "The disaster might destroy everything!" "I know, I know," I said. "I have really, really lousy timing-" "Yes you do!" Twilight said flatly. She huffed, closing her eyes and rubbing her temples. "But we need to focus on what's important here... Saving Ponyville." Out her quill and schedule came, and she scribbled something down on it. "We'll talk about this later," she said. "Right now, we have work to do." I felt a release of tension from my shoulders. I hugged Twilight tightly. "Thank you," I said. "Don't thank me yet," she said warningly. "That's reserved for one minute fifteen seconds after our discussion." "What happens before... Ah... Nevermind," I said at Twilight's resulting look. Well... That could have been worse. I really need to learn to stop thinking that kind of thing... - - - - - - The city of Denver doesn't get a lot of attention for her beauty. She doesn't get a lot of attention, period. But being a native, or as close to one as can be, I can say without a doubt she does indeed have her charms. Take the city park, for instance. It's just outside the Natural History Museum and the Zoo, and has a gorgeous crystal clear lake right in the center of it. There's a gazebo in front of an old yellow boathouse built in the 1900s, which gives you a magnificent view of the rolling green hills the museum is perched on. Ducks and geese fly around, gracefully diving for fish or just to float with their families. Behind you the skyline of Denver herself can be seen, cutting across a clear blue sky. And sure, she's not New York or Los Angeles but on the plains, she is the queen of the gateway to the Rocky Mountains. The Mile High City. "You know, you really can be a stupid monkey," said Twilight Sparkle as we sat on the dock, the water lapping against the wood providing a beat to the quacking of ducks. I could see Earth in the water below me, stretched out like a beautiful mosaic of water, mountain, forest, desert, cities... "I don't think I'm that stupid," I said. "I mean, okay, liberal arts? Bad idea, but I did take my math classes." "What is the factor theorem?" Twilight asked primly. I rolled my eyes. "Let k be a complex number and f be a polynomial of x. This polynomial has a factor of x minus k if, and only if, the value of f at point k is equal to zero." "Very good," Twilight said approvingly. "Though in your world, that's only high school mathematics. Why didn't you ask your father to teach you?" "I was too stubborn," I said. I sighed as I looked out over the world. "I didn't want to be a... Burden." "Other children blame their parents for their failings. You just went ahead and blamed yourself," Twilight said. "As you are for your failing here." "It's my responsibility." "Takes two to tango, as you say," Twilight pointed out. "Fluttershy has responsibility too. She tried to take that-Why didn't you let her?" "Because nobody takes my heat but me," I said flatly. "It's my responsibility. You're my girlfriend. It's my breach of our trust." "Just as it was your responsibility to go down and save me from the Hellmouth? Or the manticore?" Twilight taunted. "You throw yourself in because it has to be your responsibility. You can't trust anyone else-" "That's not true!" I shouted back angrily. "I think it is," Twilight said, "because I was the same way. I didn't let anyone in, I couldn't. And you can make whatever excuse you want, the truth is you're afraid of letting people in." I sighed and picked up a rock. I threw it across the water, and the image of Earth vanished into the ripples left from it's skipping. "Maybe I am," I said softly. "I didn't have much luck socializing with my own species... Neither did you." "Not until I came to Ponyville," Twilight said. "Now get up." "Huh?" "Andrew!" I felt the floor slam into my face, and I grunted. I blinked the sleep out of my eyes, and looked up into the face of my real girlfriend. Twilight looked... Well... Twitchy. Her eyes were going back and forth, having trouble focusing on me. "Get up, get up!" She cried. "You fell asleep! There's no time to sleep!" She leaped back to another telescope, which had been inserted (By me) into the treehouse. She dashed to another, and another (all installed by me, with her help), her eyes searching through them. I groaned. "Twilight, we've been at this for... For... I have no idea how long," I said, rubbing my temples. "We need a break." "There's no time for breaks!" Twilight cried, dashing right back up to me. Her hooves landed on my shoulders. "No time at all! We can't break, not for a minute!" Some of her spittle landed on my cheek, and I grimaced. I hugged her tightly. "Twilight, we can't be responsible for everything," I said. "No! No, but we can try! Something's coming, something's going to happen, I know it!" Twilight cried. "Yes, but if we're tuckered out we're not going to be much good against it, are we?" I groaned, stretching my back. Pony chairs were just not comfortable for humans. Deceptively, they looked little different from a chair you might find anywhere on Earth but the way they supported you was far different. "Well... Stress. Stress relief, what do you do for stress relief?" Twilight asked. I stared at her. "Well... Depends on the person, I suppose-" "You?" She asked intensely. I gulped. "Uh, well, we went over those, remember? Sleeping, physical activity, stretching, tea-" "Sexual activity?" Twilight asked urgently. I blinked. "Well, yeah, that's pretty effective given the hormonal and psychological re-NO." Okay, clearly she was on the edge, grasping at straws. I swear, I saw her grinding her teeth. That didn’t seem like a good sign to me. "Oh come on, it would be very, very efficient!" Twilight complained. "Look, that... While you're..." I gestured to the telescopes, as though that could encompass Twilight’s current mood, situation... Psychosis? Might be a bit too strong but you weren’t seeing her twitching. "It would not be a good idea-" "I can change the schedule, right now!" Twilight said urgently. "Wait, what schedu-?" "I've scheduled our first sexual encounter, assuming the other dates go as planned," Twilight said. "I left some flexibility in the schedule, but, well..." She rested her head against my chest. "I mean, what if this is the end? What if there's nothing we can do? What if it's our-" "Last day before Tuesday?" Pinkie Pie asked cheerfully as she hopped inside. "Yep!" "WHAT?!" Twilight gasped. She ran to the eastern telescope and checked it-Only to pull back, crying in agony. "AHHH!" "Twilight!" I shouted, rushing over to her. I held her face. "You all right?" I decided to just shove the whole "scheduled sexual activity" thing aside for the moment. I mean, wouldn't you? Twilight winced, a hoof over her left eye. "Owww..." "Ooh, don't worry Twilight!" Pinkie Pie said, bouncing over with an eyepatch. She hoofed it to me, and I secured it around my unicorn girlfriend's eye. "I have emergency stores of eyepatches everywhere! In case of eyepatch emergency!" I pulled my hands away, and Twilight blinked with her good eyes. Pinkie Pie beamed. "See? Now you look like-" "My future self!" Twilight cried. "Also a pirate!" Pinkie said cheerfully. "A future pirate!" Twilight trembled, and then slammed her hooves down on the floor. "That's it! No more messing around! We're going to the Canterlot Archives for those time spells, and we're doing it tonight! It's the only possible way to figure out what to do!" "All right, good luck with that," the lazing Spike said, burping loudly as he polished off another carton of ice cream. Twilight's good eye narrowed. "And we're all going," she growled. "Yay!" Pinkie cheered. "Aw," Spike grumped. "Probably should have done that first, Twilight," I said. At her glare, I held up my hands defensively. "Just a thought!" I really need to keep my mouth shut... - - - - - - Hopefully the finale won't be too big a disappointment. It's not going to twist things for the ending of the episode all that much, just add some flavor to it. And hints of a possible future. Allow me to give you guys a hint: I've been watching a hell of a lot of Farscape, so maybe you can speculate on what happens next. Until next time.