//------------------------------//
// Every Little Thing She Does 
// Story: Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student 
// by milesprower06 
//------------------------------//

Additional contributions by MixMassBasher





Dear Diary,

Today, Twilight thought it was a good idea to test out both of our magical abilities, but I'm certain it was just an excuse to fight me again. Sore loser. I mean, what in Tartarus has Celestia been teaching her if I can best her magically when she's a motherfucking alicorn?! I might as well prove that I'm also the better friend by doing multiple friendship problems at once despite lack of any knowledge of that concept whatsoever. What could possibly go wrong?

-Starlight Glimmer





Dear Starlight,

What have I been teaching her?

Nothing, and that's the damn point. I was fed up with her shit years ago, and found some backwater hole to dump her in. Did she not tell you how absolutely bored I was when she invited me down for the dinner you didn't even show up for? I just thought I'd get a free meal out of it. Instead I was just pestered about how my hair moves on it's own.

Sincerely,
Princesss Celestia





Dear Ex-student,

Lesson number one on being a good teacher: Make sure your student doesn't fuck up that badly.

Your former teacher,
Princess Celestia





Dear Former Bitcher,

I would have said the same to you!!!

Your ex-student,
Twilight Sparkle





Dear Starlight,

I'm confiscating that combination of spells for my own usage to keep it from falling into the wrong hands.

Your mentor,
Twilight Sparkle





Dear Starlight,

You really take after Twilight too much. Just Chillax!

Your hungover pegasus,
Rainbow "Chillax" Dash





Dear Rainbow Dash,

I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm not like Twilight. At all.

In denial,
Starlight Glimmer





Dear Starlight Glimmer,

Not like her, huh? Wait until we tell you about the Smarty Pants incident. We rest our case.

-Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Rarity

P.S. Don't cast mind-bending magical spells on your friends!





Dear Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Rarity,

You mares pull off that creepy look pretty well! Wanna join us in creeping the fuck out of everyone around the streets of the UK?

Your anomalous trolls,
The Creepy Clowns





Dear Starlight,

Did you mix up your old enhanced time travel spell with that mind control fusion spell thingamajig? Because the rest of the episodes for our show got released earlier than they should have in the UK.

Perplexed,
Pinkie Pie





Dear Pinkie,

That reminds me, would you have any idea what Twilight is talking about when she mentions this "Ponyvillexit" movement?

What the Tartarus is she on about?

Sincerely,
Starlight