//------------------------------//
// Make New Friends But Keep Discord 
// Story: Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student 
// by milesprower06 
//------------------------------//

Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06

Make New Friends But Keep Discord



Memo to the Canterlot High Society Club

I hereby motion to cancel several of our monthly garden parties and have a larger gathering outside of town with a bigger budget.

It is glaringly obvious that we can no longer count on the Grand Galloping Gala to be a classy event, so we must organize an event of our own. I don't care how bored that troll we call a princess gets, or how my husband enjoys “charmingly rustic,” some of us do have standards.

I look forward to hearing suggestions for possible venues.

Sincerely,
Fleur de Lis









Dear Princess Twilight,

We here at the Foal Free Press are doing an article on reactions to Haylyn Jenner, and we would like your input. We anticipate hearing from you!

Sincerely,
Featherweight









Dear Foal Free Press,

Alright, listen the fuck up. I'd like to know why you feel you need to fish for everyone's opinion on somepony's personal life. Personally, I think the bitch was insane doing that photoshoot for Vanity Foal.

Want my opinion? I don't give a fuck. The only thing that would get me to care is if he, she, what-the-fuckever wanted to come over to the castle for some action in the sack, and honestly, at that point I wouldn't care if they had a cock, clit, or tentacles.

So please, go send these requests to ponies who hilariously believe that their personal opinions matter and require spreading.

Sincerely,
Princess Twilight Sparkle









Dear Twilight,

You know I appreciate your continued business at Hay King, but I have to remind you that we have our hours posted on the door. The lobby closes at 11pm. So once the clock strikes 11, please do not continue to stand at the counter and hit on our cashier. That means get the fuck out of my lobby. If you want to order something after 11pm, please feel free to go to the trot-thru.

Sincerely,
Sesame Seed
Hay King General Manager









Dear Sesame Seed,

Fine.

I'll go to Sweet Apple Acres and get myself a Big Mac.

Sincerely,
Twilight Sparkle