Twilight accidentally steps on a snail. This makes her sad. As the years go on, several other things happen.

I thought this was my first story rated 'everyone', but it isn't. It kind of is though? Anyway.

Nightmare Moon visits Twilight in the night, and things get biblical.

Featured on Equestria Daily, 1 May 2012.

Scootaloo's an orphan, let's get that fact out of the way. She lives in a cardboard box and it's rad as heck.

She also does other orphan stuff.

I'unno.

Big ups to Norse Pony for his editing work.

Sunset and Celestia have a conversation.

One night a year, on the Eve of the Summer Sun Celebration, Princess Celestia is sad, at least according to Twilight's observations. She has a plan, a boardgame, and is determined to try to cheer up her mentor.

No clop, but suggestive content.

Trixie steals the deed to the Golden Oaks Library. She quickly finds out this doesn't mean what she thinks it means.

Inspired by this blog post by MythrilMoth.

Trixie vector create by Silentmatten

This is a shameless, all kinds of wrong send-up of the trashy dating "game show" Baggage, which airs on GSN in the USA and stars Jerry Springer.

For those unfamiliar with the formula:

One bachelor must select from three hopeful bachelorettes who each have baggage no sane person would admit to anyone, let alone air on national television. The bachelor must wade through the increasingly horrific personal baggage, and at the end of the show, must choose the one of the three whose baggage is the least run-and-scream-worthy. However, the bachelor himself ALSO has a big piece of baggage, which is revealed at the very end, allowing the girl he's chosen to opt out of the date if his baggage is just too much.

Tired of Luna's constant nagging, Celestia agrees to give internet dating a try. Using the website www.notforeveralone.com, Luna helps Celestia go on dates with potential immortal suitors. Shouldn't be too hard to find true love, right?

You can make a suggestion for any immortal across any manner of genre or fiction for Celestia to date next. Just make sure they're immortal for it to work.

Updates every Tuesday and Friday.

Guest chapters for immortals I have not covered are welcome, since I won't be able to write about every suggestion someone has. Note that all guest chapters are non-canon from the main story, so there is a bit of leeway to them. Talk to me over PM's for any further discussion.

Thanks to my editors The Ponytrician and Garnot for all their help!

Cover art from the hilarious tumblr you all should check out, ~Letters For Celestia~

Applejack always knew Winona was the dog for her. Even before she met her, and Winona was just another puppy in a box, Applejack knew.

Thanks to my editor Jake The Army Guy for all the help!

Art from mactavish1996.

Twilight Sparkle has finally perfected a device allowing ponies to speak to each other over great distances. Unfortunately, the first call she receives is from Pinkie. Things go downhill from there.