Twilight Sparkle is being sent to Ponyville to learn about friendship. She's not happy about it.
Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06 and MixMassBasher
Brotherhooves Social
Dear Applejack,
For a bunch of inbred hicks, your family sure is awfully politically correct. That bullshit needs to stop.
"Loose definition" of what constitutes a sister? How about no. Instead, how about this: In order to be considered sisters, you both have to have vaginas, and speaking of vaginas, you have to come out of the same one. Sisters.
Really, it's not that hard. Your Social is getting as ridiculous as that Jenner stallion that wants to be considered a mare just because he says so.
Sincerely,
Princess Twilight Sparkle
Director of the Ponyville Region Social Gathering Oversight Committee
Dear Sister,
I think we forgot to attend the Sisterhooves Social again, didn't we?
Sincerely,
Princess Luna
Dear Shining Armor,
I would be glad if you don't dress up as a mare like Big Mac to make me "happy". It feels weird. Even for me. I would prefer you bucking me instead.
Sincerely,
Princess Twilight Sparkle
Dear Big Mac,
Well I do declare that at the next Apple family reunion, we're gonna have a long talk about identity theft.
Sincerely,
Cousin Orchard Blossom
Dear Big Mac,
Is that my Old Dress? Could have sworn it used to be Blue and Black. Or was it White and Gold?
Confused,
Granny Smith
Dear Diary,
Ever since Twilight and her friends stopped sending me letters, I have had an awful lot of time to myself. I've been using a lot of that time to think about Twilight's trips through the mirror to that alternate dimension, and I've been reading her reports on her adventures there. Something is perplexing me.
My parallel self is the principal of a high school over there. So, is she a principal because I'm a princess, or am I a princess because she's a principal? Has she been running that school for one thousand years? Did she send her sister to the moon space camp for one thousand hours?
JUST WHO THE FUCK AM I?!?
-Princess Celestia
Princess Celestia's existential crisis is brought to you by me doing my dishes by hand tonight since the dishwasher decided to have a mental breakdown.
Page generated in 0.039 seconds
Total duration
983 users online
339,062 hits today, 2,151,698 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Classy.
Talk about identity crisis. Poor Celestia.
Orchard Blossom~
6613475 Corrected. Sorry, that was part of Mix's contributions, didn't catch it.
Dear Brother,
I just realised something.
Firstly, you turned yourself into Princess Big Mac; Princess of the Crop in that combined dream back then.
Secondly, Today I have our Lil Sis telling me you were dressed up like our cousin. Our Female Cousin.
So I have to ask. Are you Transgender or something? Like that Leelah Alcorn Gal?
Enlightened,
Applejack
That Jenner joke was brilliant
I myself am curious about the Celestias. One is immortal (presumably), and the other isn't (also presumably). If there are counterparts for everypony at all times, how would that work?
6613578 Exactly.
In the first eqg movie Celestia said
so she's been there before? Also if she has then did she meet Principle Celestia?
6613637
In the comics, Celestia and Starswirled have gone through portals to different dimensions, and Celestia probably went through the portal just once to see how much different it was.
6613578
Magic.
You already tried once before, Twilight. It didn't work.
oh, its finally back
^this
I died laughing this whole episode
Bah. The PRSGOC gets more heavy-hoofed every year.
Also, the two Celestias clearly need to have conversation about this. If nothing else, they can be confused together.
What if you come out of the same penis? That's a different story I guess.
Having Best Pony on your team puts you at an unfair advantage. Celestia is there too, well then your long legs would be another unfair advantage I guess.
Gold. He didn't try to buy anything in her name, so I doubt she would press charges.
You only need one of these.
Dear Dejected Despot,
Your life is a lie. Your reign means nothing. You are just an imaginary being created by the principal in Otherworld. It is time to accept these facts and step down as the ruler of Equestria and let Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle take her rightful place on your (read: her) throne. You are nothing more than the fevered delusion of a mad, mediocre principal. Accept it, you old hag.
Signed Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle's loyal slave and propagandist,
Neko Majin C.
~KBO.
Oh how horrible! Your dishwasher broke and now you have to clean all the dishes by hand!
Welcome to the rest of the world buddy
6614893 I never said it was horrible, I said that's what caused my mind to wander last night.
Princess Celestia really needs to meet Principal Celestia. And exchange storys.
*sees pic at bottom of chapter* O_O uh...ok... so big mac likes cross dressing?
i get the feeling that with this chapter i may have missed an episode about gender confusion. i think twilight's first letter of this chapter sums up my opinion on the matter:
male: penis + balls
female: vagina
uh...male+female = herm and from there things get kinda weird. i don't think i'll ever understand the whole trans...thing. it just seems really weird to me and the person in question is confused and thinks nature was wrong about what it gave them.
Oh, splendid!
I never understood what was so great about dishwashers. They just splash hot soapy water on everything, and nothing gets scrubbed, so anything that needs scrubbing just gets cooked onto the plate during the drying cycle. And the only part about doing dishes manually that's any amount of work, is when something needs scrubbing. Otherwise you just swipe the dish with soap, and rinse it off. Is that the only thing a dishwasher provides, is saving you the trouble of that cursory swipe?
6616466 Thanks.
A thosand hours.
That would make it 41.6666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666 (Math is Fun)6666666666666666666666666666666666666666... days.
6615472 There's more to it than that. Gender and sex are NOT the same thing.
On a very basic level: Sex is how the body was told to grow via a combination of chromosomes and hormone surges during fetal development. Gender is what the brain says the body is supposed to be, and is a core part of a person's very being.
The brain and body finish their basic differentiation as distinct types of cells at different times during gestation, and there are all kinds of hormone releases by the mother's body to help guide things along. There are also slight differences in the shapes and sizes of various portions of the brain that vary according to gender. Gender, not sex. Transgender people tend to have brains that are structured more like the opposite sex; meaning the brain of a transwoman, while not identical to an XX woman, is far closer to a female brain than it is to a male brain despite the male body that carries said brain. Transwomen, quite literally, have a female brain. The opposite, of course, is true for transmen: these are people with male brains and genetically female bodies.
Being transgender is not being confused. It's like having someone build a house from one set of blueprints, then an electrician miswires half the rooms and the plumber installs the bathroom on the front porch instead of inside. That's a joke, a little humor. A very basic picture that you can get a few chuckles out of reading.
I can only speak for myself, so don't take this as being true for the entirety of the estimated 700,000 of us in the United States alone. For me, being transgender meant getting continuous headaches since 1995, when I turned 13 or shortly before. Headaches that varied in intensity from mild and annoying to 'I want to drive an ice pick into my ear to release the pressure!' These headaches were accompanied by such lovely mental images that they are still quite clear to me today...because I kept seeing them for twenty years! Mental images of cutting myself open to try and fix the things that felt wrong. Can you even imagine feeling so horrible that a dream about bleeding to death from cutting out your own testicles is considered normal?
I haven't had a headache like that in five months. I haven't contemplated suicide to end the pain on a daily basis in five months. I have been able to look in a mirror without feeling disgusted for the first time since sixth grade. Why? Because I'm taking a testosterone blocker. Hormones are powerful things to which the brain is highly sensitive. If you flood the brain with a hormone that it is supposed to have in only a miniscule amount...bad things happen.
We are not freaks. We are not confused. We have physical deformities that require surgery to correct, in most cases, and hormonal imbalances that require medication.
Also, people with mixed genitalia prefer the medical term of 'intersex' if they know about their condition. Many don't, because doctors love to mutilate babies that expose the lie of the binary identification system.
-----------
Miles, I feel this chapter was a bit of a miss. No real good jokes, but I'm a tiny bit biased...
Don't worry, I'm sure the next one will have me laughing again. Take your time and keep up the (mostly) good work.
I despise the Jenner controversy. Not because it's an issue of identity, I'm fine with however a person wants to be identified, but because of the stupidity that it bred. She did not deserve that award for bravery because in no fucking definition of the word could her actions be construed as such. That kind of award goes to war veterans who have had to kill people, save innocents, and even lose limbs. Forgive me for rambling, but any time this sort of thing is brought up I feel the need to say my piece.
6617392 Do you mean the Arthur Ashe Courage Award, which was intended primarily for athletes, and has never been given to a soldier in its 20-year run?
6616511 how well do you trust yourself to get rid of all food residue and germs with your cursory wipe? In my experience there are some strong smelling foods (Indian) that need a good boiling to get rid of.
I HATE to agree with this version of Twilight about ANYTHING... but...
I'm so glad I'm not the only one thinking about that.
6613515
Prince. In the dream he was still male.
6616541 Just say 41 days, 16 hours. Please.
......Ew.
7495319 I don't get it, could you help me out?
7501479 old meme some time back. It was a picture of a dress, and everyone was losing their shit because some saw it as a blue and black dress, while others saw it as a white and gold dress. All because of the way the picture was taken. There was a term for it, but I can't remember what it was called.