Twilight Sparkle is being sent to Ponyville to learn about friendship. She's not happy about it.
Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06
Amending Fences
Dear Spike,
Damn, Twilight is right. Can't you do anything right? Next time I have a picture taken with the princess, it'd be great not to have your claw in the frame. Sheesh.
-Minuette
Dear Moondancer,
If I had known that you wanted to make love to me so badly, I wouldn't have ignored you all that time. I missed all the signs. Sitting next to me in the science lab, styling your mane just like mine.
If you're still interested, please come to my castle in Ponyville anytime.
-Twilight
Dear Princess Twilight,
Oh I see. When you have some apologizing to do, go and get all of Moondancer's other friends, and even back to Ponyville to get Pinkie Pie, but leave me behind. I see how it is.
Fuck you guys. Friendship is fraud.
-Lyra Heartstrings
Dear Pony Joe's Canterlot Location,
I looked up and down your entire menu, but I did not see Revenge listed under your dishes served cold.
Sincerely,
A Concerned Diner
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You forgot the line in between.
HOW THE HELL DID WE MISS THAT!?!!!?!
It's too bad she doesn't know how to get Cloudsdale, then she could easily dish out some sweet revenge.
I audibly gasped when I saw Starlight in the background and I whispered very quietly, "Oh, shit." It's gonna hit the fan quite soon, I bet.
Unless I'm forgetting something, the spelling makes me cringe.
Starlight needs an emote :x
But, on a serious note, Starlight is back!
Starlight: "Your muffins are terrible. I've had better in my hometown."
6168175
Da, Minuette.
Larson, you magnificent bastard...
Yeah, what was up with that? I was promised mint-green unicorn, and she was Dame Not-Appearing-In-This-Episode! LAAAAAAARSOOOON! YAKS SMASH!
Dear Moon Dancer,
Next time you treat me like that I'm gonna f**k you up.
From,
Princess Twilight of screwing you over.
6168261 On the plus side, we actually got her whole name in this ep, so there's that!
...What are you planning, Starlight Glimmer?
Dear Twilight's Old Friends,
Do want to experience true friendship for the first time?
Sincerely,
Starlight Glimmer
6168222 Don't let Derpy overhear you saying that. She'll pummel you into next week.
6168390
What she can't get something to eat in Canterlot? Is she NOT allowed to eat!?
Dear Moondancer,
You are the second most beautiful pony in all of Equestria. Second only to Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle. You would make a magnificent addition to the Mistress' stable. You would definitely be her bottom bitch. When Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle realized your feelings for her, she was so elated she returned me to my natural self. It was weird only having one eye in the center of my head. And being shaped like a pill with legs. Though I am sure I deserved it, I am fairly incompetent. At least I can do one thing correctly.
Signed Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle's loyal slave and clever diversion,
Neko Majin C.
Post Script: Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle has enclosed her kerchief and asks you to see if it smells like chloroform to you.
Post Post Script: Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle has taken into account that you may have been too smart to fall for the chloroform trick. Therefore she has enchanted the paper with a strong, contact-activated knockout spell. If you touch the paper with your magic, or grab it with your hoof or mouth, it will have knocked you out by now, and Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle will be right behind you to collect her prize.
~KBO.
I don't think that was at Pony Joe's. Wasn't it just a random restaurant?
*sees image* this is why I follow this fic, not because of Twilight, but instead of general shenanigans. Shenanigans are fun.
6168254
I take it you read his book?
You know, I just figured this out, but in the episode, Twilight used a spell in which she can project herself in a book.
Now that I realized that, maybe Twilight here can mention using that spell in which she uses that spell to project herself into very steamy and naughty books.
6168742 Minuette mentioned donuts. I took creative liberty.
6168836 Hm? I re-watched that scene, I didn't hear anyone mention donuts.
Dear Bronies,
HELP!!
Twilights Kidnapping Me!!!
-Pinkie Pie
Not Donut Joes, that was a earlier scene. This was a nice restaurant they were all at. Plus I doubt she is a stalker. Probably in the wrong place at the wrong time and hiding for all she is worth. Also, poor Lyra. Completely forgotten...I blame Bon Bon.
Ready for Round 2 Masked Matter Horn?
-The Mane-iac
6168865 They were eating donuts, and Pony Joe was at the counter in the background.
6169018 Not in the scene where Starlight Glimmer appeared, they weren't.
Dear Princess Twilight,
Don't worry about Lyra's letter. She was a bit too busy to attend your party anyway. Let's just say I left her shaken, not stirred...
Sincerely,
(REDACTED)
6169759 The name's Bon. Bon Bon.
I wonder if this pony is in to soft Corinthian Leather.
Honestly I'm more concerned with what Pony Joe and Spike were talking about in the restaurant. Where's my fanfiction when I don't want to write it myself..?
6182630 Here was my take:
6190425
"Cool! Wanna put those clairvoyance skills to good use freeing ponies of magically enforced cast system that has enslaved us since time in memorial?"
Maybe she was stalking Twilight.
Twilight even said she had no friends besides Shining and Cadance. And that was after she was complaining about wasteing time making friends in the pilot. Friendship is rewriting history.
Okay. I want that now.
6219321
I'm not so sure about that. See, what Twilight had back then, from her point of view, was… *tries to count them all correctly from memory* … four annoyances and one study buddy. No friends.
It's only later that she has the perspective to call them her friends.