Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse

by MixMassBasher

First published

Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia's most prized and faithful student, is being sent to Ponyville to learn about the magic of friendship. And she's not happy about it.

Inspired by Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student by Milesprower06.
Letters From A Disgruntled Multiverse is basically the same thing but also crosses over with many other fimfiction stories by the Fimfiction Community.

This is not going to end well....

Special thanks to my old editor Pastelights for editing the first few chapters.

Special thanks to my new editor Neko Majin C for editing this

Nyx is from Past Sins by Pen Stroke

The following is a work of parody, and is protected as Fair Use under section 17 U.S. Code § 107 of US Copyright Law. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and all affiliated characters are property of Hasbro Inc

Past Sins by Pen Stroke: Prelude

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Past Sins: Prelude : Resurrection OR (The Night of Sexual Frustration)

Dear Princess Celestia,

So, how do I even start? I was stuck in the Everfree Forest, hogtied with rope, with a dog collar on my neck and a sack on my head. I was really hoping I was getting myself into a freebie bondage session but when one of them said they would break my horn, I knew I was screwed (sadly, not in a good way).

I had no idea how I even got here in the first place. All I can remember was that I was walking back to my house from Pinkie’s Drug Party preparation (I even got a new drug from her called Blue Sky, which I totally wanted to try!) and then I was suddenly hit with a frying pan from behind me. What a perfect way to end the day.....

Why do I have the sinking feeling that Fax Machine might have put them up to this? I am so definitely going to starve him to death again when I get back from this ordeal.

After the first few hours of boredom, my sack was finally removed only to meet my eyes with some Zecora rip-off. He seriously thinks he can be intimidating dressed in a Grim Reaper costume for Nightmare Night! Rarity might probably end up having a heart attack from seeing such a terrible crime against fashion. If only I had a camera with me...

Apparently, the Zecora rip-off is part of a group of loyal servants to Nightmare Moon, gathered together to revive her... Blah... Blah... Blah... Really? Since the day I arrived, my opinion of this backwater, one horse town has been going downhill pretty fast. How can you serve a person who is already dead? Also, if they are serving Nightmare Moon, shouldn’t they be serving Princess Luna? (probably helping her beat Halo 5) And last I checked, Nightmare Moon was already terminated. What a bunch of crazed Lunatics.

Either he did not like my opinion of his attire —or his crazy cult— because he put the sack back on my head and proceeded to kick me in the stomach.

I am SO killing Fax Machine when I get out of this mess!!

Who the hell does this guy think he is? I am the PERSONAL protégé of Princess Celestia herself; these foals don’t know what they are getting themselves int—

They cut me! A small cut, but seriously? I will find them and see how they like being cut by a bitch, a pissed-off one.

Even worse, after they knifed me, they started to do some weird voodoo incantation.

I think they said something like:
“For thou who sleeps in stone and clay
Heed our call, raise and we obey,
Trot on from the depths of Tartarus door…”

I pretty much zoned out after that. Do you have any idea where these amateurs learned to say this crappy poetry? Magic Kindergarten?

Thankfully, you showed up before he could speak any further. Because if he started doing limericks and the poem that started with, “There once was a princess from Sparta—”, I’d have stabbed myself to death with the very dagger he used on me.

By the way, cool effects with the lightning, did you learn it from your sister?

In the end, they manage to evade capture. Couldn’t you have, oh, I don’t know, use the freaking sun as a spotlight to catch these crazy colts?!? Because searching in the dark is definitely not the smartest idea you could have done.

Also, you don’t recognize the spell they did? What a surprise. The ruler of Equestria doesn’t know jackshit.

You would think a thousand years would make you wiser, but frankly, you’re in denial of being senile once again. Someone call the Old Folks Home, they've lost another one.

Oh, and thanks for sending me home to get some rest.


You could have at least left some of the guards with me for an orgy session. That seems to be the only thing they’re good at since they couldn’t capture all the ponies involved.

I honestly better get Fax Machine to remedy that situation, he owes me one anyway.

Your Horny Student,
Twilight Sparkle

Dear Royal Guards,

You’re hereby fired for failing to apprehend all of those hooligans.

Your “Kind” Ruler,
Princess Celestia

Dear Princess Celestia,

Can you blame us? Why ask us to search? It was way past our shift anyway. Why not ask the Bat Ponies or the Night Guards? It’s not like their families are in trouble or something.

Your Most "Faithful" Guard,
Captain of the Royal Guard

Dear Princess Celestia,

Perhaps they just need some EXTRA training…

Your friendly neighborhood pedophile,
Princess Molestia

To Revered Brother Nexus – High Prophet of The True Queen,

Our Resurrection Spell has failed. What do we do now?

I patiently await your reply.

-Sister Night Wind

To Sister Night Wind,

Stay in hiding, fellow OC. Wait it out until following chapters. Then we plan our attack.

- High Prophet Spell Nexus

Dear Sister,

Why did thou save Twilight Sparkle? She clearly does not like thee. Did she owe thou money or something?

Very Confused,
Gamer Princess Luna

Dear Luna,

It's not because she owes me money. There can only be one pony that can torment Twilight and that pony is me. And stop using Ye Olde Tyme Equestrian, that was sooo a thousand years ago. Stop playing video games and get with the times.

Princess Tyrantlestia Celestia Supreme Ruler of All of Equestria

(Extracted From Spike's Distress Letter to Princess Celestia)

Dear Princess Celestia,

Twilight is missing. But please, don’t send reinforcements. Let's celebrate!

Hopeful for the Best,

Past Sins by Pen Stroke: Chapter 1

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Past Sins: Chapter 1 : Everfree Discovery OR (The Founding of an OC)

Dear Princess Celestia,

So, it’s been a few days and there are still no leads on the crazy cult that kidnapped me? It seriously seems like somepony on the inside is helping them evade capture. I blame you. Anyways, since that incident I’ve been pestered by Little Miss Rarity. Seriously, first Fluttershy, then Pinkie Pie, then Applejack, then Rainbow Dash, and now her! It’s so fucking annoying. They should honestly stop being so melodramatic, acting like we’re drifting apart or something.

It’s very hard to believe Rarity’s the element of fucking generosity. If she’s so generous then she should leave me the fuck alone. She even had the nerve to give me a freebie favor for my troubles.

Wait a minute, a free favor… Hmm… Well, I’m still horny from yesterday.

It was only later that I realized I was missing my favorite erotic novel; 69 Hues of Neigh. I must have dropped it somewhere when I was being ponynapped. Great! I was getting to the good part of the story. So, after another one of my normal panic attacks, I immediately decided to use my GPS spell and found out the book was back in the Everfree Forest.

Leaving Fax Machine in charge of the library when I left was probably not one of my best ideas. Hopefully I can come back with my book intact before the library burns down. Looking out for crazed cultists, snakes and any possible stoning by cockatrice while in the Everfree definitely hindered the search for my book. Although I think I somehow manage to find one of the pages of my book, but, strangely, the words scribbled on it said “Don’t Look or It Takes You”. This most likely belonged to those crazed cultist. I was even desperate enough to start searching through the bushes, and what do I find instead? The world’s youngest immortal, some black alicorn filly that looks like a Nightmare Moon recolor. Hold on…

Okay, so I’m assuming that this crybaby is the result of an abortion from that resurrection spell that those Crazy Cults tried to do. Nightmare Moon Reborn. Well, they did want a “reborn” master, too bad they have to teach her the ABCs before she could even run a country. They fucked up, that’s for sure. She definitely needs a proper teacher on how to be a tyrant. Perhaps you should bring back Discord.

I ended up feeling a little guilty at how scared she looked at me in that thorny bush. I’m not a monster, that’s for certain so I released her from the thorny bush and brought the little filly home with me. The filly was a bigger coward than our resident doormat. She was scared shitless by a little lightning. If she is Nightmare Moon, meaning she is a part Lunatic, doesn’t that make her have lightning-based abilities or something?

Then it started to rain. I fucking hate the Everfree. My teleportation spell wasn’t working for some reason so I had to take the road home. Returning back (glad my home wasn’t blown to smithereens), I immediately demanded Fax Machine to get me some grub. Walking to my bedroom, I left the filly on my bed and gave her my grub: a celery soup and daffodil sandwich. I then proceeded to give myself a quick bath and orgasm before bathing and patching the filly wounds.

Now let the interrogation begin. I didn’t know whether to believe her truths, doubts, or lies during questioning, but they were quite convincing. I mean, she didn’t even remember her own name. Those cultists DEFINITELY fucked up for sure. Then the filly started crying like a baby again and I ended up feeling a little sorry for her. Not knowing who she was and where she comes from, she must be such a nervous wreck. So, out of pity, I hugged and consoled her saying everything will be alrig—

What just happened? I’m starting to sound nice. I must have been hit by that frying pan pretty damn hard. So now that’s why I’m writing this letter to your whiny ass. I want no part with this filly who even in the slightest possibility could doom Equestria and overthrow yo—

“Hey Spike.” Twilight said politely. (It was weird. She never called Spike by his real name) “Do you mind burning this letter? Let’s keep this secret to ourselves.”

Spike, with an annoying-ass look on his face, grabbed the letter and walked into the other room. Twilight turned around to find the little filly staring at her.

“I guess I’ll just keep an eye on her in the meantime. Come on, little filly, time to go to bed,” Twilight said, the gears turning in her head.

Operation Take The Throne is in Session.

Dear Nurse Redheart,

Thanks for checking on my rope burns. If you want to give me another checkup, come by my library anytime. My place will definitely not be quiet anymore by the time I’m through.


Dear Rarity,

We need to talk about your “favors”. That is straight ripping off my Pinkie Promises. So, how about I shove a cupcake in your plot eye and see how you like it?

Pinkie Pie

Dear Spike,

Thanks for the heads up on Twilight going back to the Everfree. If she does get ponynapped again I am definitely raining on her parade right now, that’s for sure. Ha!

Rainbow Dash

(Extracted From Spike's Letter)
Dear Princess Trollestia Celestia,

There’s a chance Twilight might get kidnapped again. Don’t ruin it.


Past Sins by Pen Stroke: Chapter 2

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Past Sins: Chapter 2 : Secret Between Friends OR (Keep This A Secret Or I’ll Buck You Over)

[Research Notes On Nyx: Note 1]

It’s been a few days since finding that filly. Since then, I’ve been finding every book possible in the hopes of finding a counter spell that could turn this filly back to Nightmare Moon and overthrow our ruler. I was even desperate enough to ask for more books from my senile mentor right under her nose. However, that request was rejected. Pretty sure Celestia was just gorging on too many banana cakes when she wrote back. Fat Slut.

Oh, and I also ended up naming the little filly Nyx. (It was either that or a ridiculous name like Woona.) Inviting Nyx into my life didn’t change much of my daily morning routine. I still do the same old thing; I wake up, masturbate, take a quick bath, and go downstairs, Fax Machine and I say Fuck You to one another, I beat him up and then threatened him to make breakfast for me and Nyx or else I’ll crack out the whip. It’s quite a pleasant morning, don’t you agree?

Also, for some reason, Fax Machine is still wary about Nyx. What a coward! He most probably has been having nightmares of her creeping in the darkness waiting to kill him or something. But if she’s dangerous enough to scare Fax Machine, I’m all for keeping her with us. And I thought Owlowiscious was a hilarious threat to his livelihood.

These few days were definitely hectic. I’ve been trying keep Nyx confided in the library out of the sight of my friends in case that if they see her, they might try to stop my plan of getting rid of our beloved ruler. Unfortunately, Nyx has been starting to act a little more bold with each passing day. She’s been looking out our library window staring at ponies anomalously and won’t stop pestering me to go outside and play.

If she wanted to play, I could always introduce her to my “Special Toys”. However, I had other plans. It pains me to do so, but I have to waste Rarity’s favor for this plan to work. Next Time… There’s always next time.

Getting to her Boutique was definitely a challenge, trying to hide Nyx from the crowd of ponies is not easy. Luckily, I had a solution to that, though it was nearly compromised when Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber came across me and pestered me about what was in the sack I was carrying to which I proceeded to answer that I was carrying, a dead body. That should traumatize them.

Reaching Rarity’s place, I could hear the sounds of a whip cracking and Sweetie Belle yelping. It’s most probably nothing important as I needed to focus on the task at hand. I oh so wished I had brought my camera with me because the look on Rarity’s face when she saw Nyx was fucking hilarious. After her usual quick dramatic fainting on her cheap-tailored couch, I manage to convince her to help me disguise Nyx to blend in with the crowd, especially after I said this is for that favor she gave me. She seemed quite relieved at that.

While discussing the design of Nyx’s disguise, she had asked me why we had to hide her wings, since wings were all the rage these days. Does she expect me file off her horn instead? I have no intention of doing that to Nyx. It’s just too much work for me.

So, after a quick fillynapping of Nyx by Rarity, she started dress making. Nyx was so well behaved when she stood still for Rarity to do her magic, but I think she most probably did that after she heard about Sweetie Belle. In about an hour or so of Rarity playing dress up with her “Barbie”, the disguise was done. But when I took out the glasses needed to disguise Nyx’s eyes (since they’d remind me ponies too much of snake eyes Nightmare Moon), Rarity instantly went all Drama-Mama Mode. She said the glasses were way too tacky and would clash with the outfit making Nyx look ridiculous. That was the point Einstein. Gee, what was your first clue?

Eventually, I relented and went to the optical shop to buy another pair. The salespony there was quite an idiot and even had the nerve to ask if I was here because my eyesight was poor from reading too much. Seriously? It is my personal belief that reading is love, reading is life.

Returning back, I came across something very peculiar. Rarity was teaching Nyx how to balance books on her head. I don’t think that’s how knowledge can be diffused faster into her small brain. It seems that Rarity was training Nyx on how to be a proper princess, like how to eat cake and all that shit. There’s no way I’m letting Nyx learn the proper princess way of eating cake. I’m raising a little filly not a black fluff of fat.

Surprisingly, Rarity was actually okay with the idea of me overthrowing my old mentor, even to going as far as Pinkie-Promising to keep it a secret. Wow! Finally one of my brain-dead friends has grown some common sense. Also, it appears that I owed Rarity a new tea cup and whip. Dammit Nyx…

Rarity also found out that Nyx was more overly sensitive than Fluttershy. Don’t you mean yourself? Last I checked, you were the one in tears when the Diamond Dogs kidnapped you.

Back to point, with the glasses, it provided the finishing touches to the disguise making her eyes appear like normal ponies. Though Nyx seemed to have some eye problems from that when later she hit the door on the way out. Oh, what a silly filly.

Meeting my other friends to test the disguise was the easy part. I’m still a walking target/test dummy for Rainbow Dash to crash into. Maybe it’s really that bitch that needs the glasses. I was quite touched, though, when Nyx ran over Rainbow Dash towards me to ask if I was alright. What an adorable little nightmare.

And so I introduced my “cousin” to the gay bitch. She bluntly said that Nyx is a crybaby in ten seconds flat. Why isn’t that lesbian not the Element of Harsh Honesty? She certainly fits the bill better than Applejack, that’s for sure. And why did I not bring my shotgun to shoot this duck-faced loser? First the camera and now this? I should really get a checklist for useful things to carry in my inventory, or I could always find out from Pinkie the locations of where she keeps her goods. I would definitely buy that information at a high price.

After visiting Rainbow Crash, the demented farmer was next. Reaching the farm, Nyx started asking all sorts of questions related to apple farming to that hillbilly. Luckily, the farm pony had a Ph.D. in Farming to help answer Nyx’s barrage of questions. How does a Ph.D. of that category even exists in Equestria? The annoying part was that Nyx wouldn’t shut her damn mouth. Is this what I sounded like back in school? No wonder nopony liked me. So, she didn't see through the disguise. Still standing by my point of the rainbow lesbian being the element of honestly instead.

After the hillbilly the Doormat was next. She and Nyx got along pretty well but we had to book it when the Fluttershy wanted to give her a pet and even started singing. No, thank you!

The Druggie was our final test for Nyx’s disguise. If those highly concentrated drug steroids in her bloodstream can’t detect Nightmare Moon incarnate, nopony can. After a quick guessing game of names of Nyx by the drug addict (She really thought a filly’s name would be Night Shade?), she somehow didn’t see through the disguise and even wanted to make a Welcome To Ponyville Party for Nyx. Poor Nyx.

Nyx was so adorkable when she bluntly said to Pinkie that she was weird and needed both Rehab and a Mental Hospital. My little Nyxie’s learning. I’m so proud!

At the end of the day, I was very surprised of myself. The disguise worked? It really worked? Finally!! A scheme that won’t come back to bite me in the flank. Either the designs by Rarity were getting better, or that new drug that Pinkie’s giving out destroys all manner of brain functions (though it’s hard to tell with AJ). I had better put some of this stuff into the “Thank You For Rescuing Our Disgruntled Bitch” cake Pinkie’s planning on making for Princess Celestia.

A Pony with a Plan,
Twilight Sparkle

To Little Miss Rarity,

Were the glasses really that bad?


Dear Nyx,

Those glasses weren’t that bad. They were atrocious and should be smashed to pieces and killed with fire. Also, if you want to learn more about proper etiquette, you could always join Fluttershy and I for our usual get together at the Ponyville Spa.

Little Miss Rarity

P.S Please don’t call me Miss Rarity. It makes me sound old.

Dear Rarity,

First, you rip off my Pinkie Promise and now you have the nerve to make a Pinkie Promise when we’re discussing royalties? You better watch your back sister, because there’s a party cannon with your name on it.

Pissed Off,
Pinkie Pie

Past Sins by Pen Stroke: Chapter 3

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Past Sins: Chapter 3: School Days and Memories OR (Skool Rules)

“Ok, Class. Your homework for today will be to write a letter about anything in particular to your loved ones. Have it done by Monday,” Cheerilee announced. This announcement was met with a large amount of groans from all the colts and fillies.

As Cheerilee and all the students left the classroom, one black filly remained. Nyx decided to stay back in class to finish her assignment. So grabbing a crayon, Nyx began to write.

Dear Mommy Twilight,

Today was such a great day! Since living with you I’ve learnt many great things. Like for instance how to show somepony whose boss. Fax Machine was the perfect test dummy for that. I even learn so many new words from you that have improved my vocabulary tremendously. You’re a fucking amazing teacher.

Ms. Cheerilee seemed somehow upset when I used those words I’ve learnt in class on my first day and was even more upset when I threw an apple at her like you told me to. So now Snips and Snails are no longer wearing the dunce hat on their empty heads of theirs.

And I did remember what you said about keeping my glasses and vest in place but my wings kept poking onto the back of my vest whenever I saw some of the colts winking at me. On top of that, there was this pink snob of a filly who seemed to not like me at all. Is it illegal to strangle somepony in class? Cause there’s seems to be no rule for that in school.

I also took your advice of making better friends minions than you did before. They were quite nice and if I recall their names were Zapplebloomer, Sweetie Bot and Scoopapoo. They told me so much about the great things you have done in Ponyville like Ursa Minor juggling. I didn’t know you worked in the circus? Back to the point, they had this group name called the Cutie Mark Crusaders and they requested me to join their crusade of finding cutie marks. Urm... Can’t you just get a cutie mark from a tattoo shop? Pretty sure that's how that pink snob and her grey minion got theirs.

Anyways our first lesson was chemistry but there was an incident in the lab where this colt named Lemon Rush had his head stuck inside a beaker. Wonder where in tartarus that kid learnt that from? Honestly while lessons were okay I thought this place was gonna be total shit. I felt soooo bored. That is until Cheerilee started introducing Sex Ed to class.

Best Lesson Ever!!! School was amazing!! Why didn’t you teach me this? I had so many questions. We had to unfortunately delay recess when I had asked too many questions but it was definitely worth it me. I was hit at the side of my head with a piece of paper when I was taking down some notes.

The message said:
They’ll never find your body.
-Diamond Tiara

How about I just shove that letter right up her plot then!! I can definitely deal with the likes of her. I lived with you didn’t I?

Well recess finally rolled into session after I finished interrogating Ms. Cheerilee (who knew you can do that many positions in bed). The recess bell sounded like a cross between a marching band and a broken trumpet. It was upon exiting the school doors that I was once more confronted by that pink snob and her grey minion. They have the nerve to insult my coat color and call me a nerd. They have a problem with black ponies? Talk about colourist!! She compared my coat colour to that of spiders and bats and that I eat bugs. Well she’s right. I am like spiders and bats. They can be lethal and eat pests like her. Let’s who truly has the crying cutiemark by the end of this.

I was ready to give the rich bitches the beat down of the lifetime when Zapplebloomer took the first punch instead. Oh how I love my new minions. That definitely sent those upstarts packing. So my minions decided to introduce me to my new subjects. There’s Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumbest, First Base (I’d prefer Third Base), Rumble (Can I bring him to my bedroom?), Little Pipsqueak, Featherweight (AKA the colt who should be named Pipsqueak), Twist and her coltfriend, Button Mash and some of the other background colts and fillies. I even ended up deciding to join my minion’s crusade for their cutiemarks. Maybe I could get one for murder.

These two weeks of going to school were definitely an interesting experience for me and I can’t wait for you to read this and see how well I’ve improved on my Ingwish English.


“Hey Nyx!”

Nyx craned her neck to see that pink snob calling her.

“We were just going to Sugarcube Corner. You want to join?” Diamond Taira offered politely.

“I’m busy studying,” Nyx said with gritted teeth.

“Sorry to interrupt then, but Silver Spoon and I just want to say we are sorry for being so mean.”

Nyx raised her head in confusion. “Wait. Really?”

Diamond Taira nodded and motioned with her hoof. “We wanted to see if you are a cool enough pony to join my gang.”

“Yeah. We can be like total BFFs,” Silver Spoon assured eagerly.

“In fact we have a meeting later and we would like you to join. Here’s a map,” Diamond Tiara said, giving Nyx a map.

“Where does the map lead to?” Nyx asked cautiously.

“Deep in the Everfree Forest. It is amazing once you go deep enough inside,” Diamond Tiara replied, grinning evilly.

[Research Notes On Nyx: Note 2]

Okay, so, I was finally having some peace and fucking quiet from Nyx the Blabbermouth when the three stooges came to me. Seriously, half a day of reading is all I asked for and instead I get two hours. Destiny is a bitch.

I thought Nyx was crusading with the Three Fillies of Apocalypse. So, I got my friends to help find who were the ponies responsible for ruining my plans of hostile takeover. Everypony except Pinkie Stinking Pie, of course. She apparently wanted to find a person named Waldo instead, whoever he is. She really needs rehab.

So apparently Rainbow Cunt found out it was these two snobbish ponies who were responsible. When I interrogated them, they had the nerve to turn a deaf ear. I was FURIOUS. How dare they mock the freaking most powerful unicorn in this universe? These bunch of cunts are gonna get it, that’s for sure. So, I went into Rage Mode and exploded on them, kamehameha-style, demanding they tell me where Nyx was or else they’d end up as cacti.

The Everfree Forest… It HAD to be the Everfucking Forest. What is in the Everfree Forest that seems tied with my fucking livelihood? Maybe I should call that Donald Rump guy to start a tree cutting campaign. And so, I had to get my dumbass friends together and we immediately started searching the Everfree before dark because we didn’t want zombies, creepers, skeletons, and star spiders to start spawning everywhere.

We were beginning to lose hope when I heard lightning and knew it had to be Nyx. There are only two ponies I know who can do the Song of Storms and Luna’s too busy playing Halo 5. So, teleporting to the princesses old castle I noticed that it was being destroyed by Philomena’s angry relatives on catapults.

And who the hell designed their castle in the first place? I got lost at every turn and in each room I entered there was this red turd saying that my little nightmare was in another room. What. The. Fuck. Soon enough, I found Nyx. She was laying on the exact same spot where we fired our orbital friendship ray on Princess Luna. She said she remembered wanting to hurt me. She remembered resenting ponies. She remembered wanting revenge. I was worried that my plan was going to blow up in my face once more and was readying my forget-me-stick when Nyx started crying.

She was afraid of herself. She was downright terrified. I knew for sure that Nyx was definitely Nightmare Moon incarnate. I didn’t care. So, I hugged and consoled her, saying that everything will be alright. I have to protect her from her memories. For her sake. Because I lov—

...What the buck is happening to me?

-Twilight Sparkle

Dear Construction Worker Ponies,

We are in need of a new wall for the Golden Oak Library because today a side of it was ripped right off when Twilight Sparkle tried bringing her cousin Nyx to School. Honestly, I think cousin, Nyx, is too clingy to the Library. I blame the purple bitch.

Underrated and underpaid,
Fax Machine Spike

Dear Nyx,

So I’ve been feeling a little loopy when I saw you today and I’m wondering are you single?

Wooed over,
Leman Rush Lemon Russ

Dear Lemon Russ,

Back off, Romeo. I saw her first!


Dear Cheerilee,

I prefer if you not talk about our bedroom life to others.

Big Mac

Dear Sister,

Will you stop playing Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker? That stupid noise from that lightning woke me up from my beauty sleep.

Sleep deprived,
Princess Celestia

To Miss Gray Gale, Night Wind, and Mr. Stonewall,

Our Queen lives once more. High Prophet Spell Nexus has seen the signs. The Song of Storms has been played! Our Hero and Savior has returned! Be on the lookout for our Queen.

-Brother Proper Etiquette

Dear Pinkie Pie,

As a friend, I need to say this. GET FUCKING REHAB, BITCH!!

Fed up,
Rainbow Dash

Past Sins by Pen Stroke: Chapter 4

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Past Sins: Chapter 4: Distant Storm Clouds OR (Reasons For Massacring The Rich Family)

[Research Notes On Nyx: Note 3]

Coming back from the Everfree, I was greeted by my brain-dead friends asking if Nyx was alright and all that shit. Why were they never this concerned when I was missing? My friends, everypony. These are my fucking friends.

Just to add insult to injury they, even thought I would have done the same of playing the game of search and rescue if their folks went missing. You know what I would actually do? I’d just paste their missing family or friends photos on an old expired milk carton and call it a day. I'd also say goodbye to their little pieces of shit that they call family to their fucking faces.

After they left, I immediately tucked Nyx into bed, hoping that Nyx doesn’t get any nightmares of a Zalgo Pinkie Pie or else her fate has been sealed, and was ready to have some proper rest. That is until I was interrupted from my reading session motherfucking again by a knocking on the door. I hate my life. Library hours are fucking over. Do these Celestia-damn ponies know how to read? Perhaps next time I should put a heating iron on the door knob and ask those idiots to come in. That’ll be hilarious.

So behind door number one, I see Filthy Rich, The Big Bad Bitch, and their snob of a daughter. Is it too late to get a free consolation prize? So, Filthy Rich and his wife had the nerve to accuse Nyx of being at fault and protect their snobbish little pink pig. Seriously? These parents are complete morons. At least my parents treated me well (except for sending me to study as a private student under a pervert). I honestly felt like I'd rather talk to his estranged brother Richie Rich, at least he had better manners than these pieces of shit! You’d think these rich bitches could have at least afforded some manners. Furthermore, Filthy Rich should really start filing divorce papers because that bitch of a wife is sucking him dry from both his wallet and his dick.

We traded a few harsh words here and there and I might have threatened them a little bit when I said I would set a murder party during the next Purge that Tyrantlestia is setting up. They seemed very furious at that and might have wanted to take me to court. Ha! Good luck with that. I have good underpaid 8-bit lawyer on spell-dial. Have fun losing your entire life savings.

Unfortunately, their little brat spilled the beans of her plan by accident and now all is well with no pressing of charges. So much for becoming a millionaire, but anyways, that’ll teach that upstart of a filly. There’s only room for one bitch in this backwater town.

Despite that fact that I finally had some peace and quiet, I felt a little restless. I don’t know why but I had the large urge to go check on Nyx after hearing these wild accusations of her. Nyx doesn’t deserve to be treated this way by other ponies. Yeah, she’s Nightmare Moon reborn, but she’s a good kid with a good heart. So, putting aside my erotic novel, I went upstairs to check if Nyx was alright after today’s turmoil. Strangely enough, Nyx wasn’t sleeping on her bed when I reached the room. Did she pull a Houdini on me?

Fax Machine had better not have kidnapped her or else I would have to be prepared to throw a POW Block at him.

Twilight Sparkle

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

Your Nyx is in another dimension.


Dear Twilight Sparkle,

Found your daughter at our place due to a rift in time and space. Here’s your daughter back.

-Ask Twixie

Dear Spoiled Rich Affluent Rich,

How about instead of turning you into a cactus I’ll turn you into a pig? Oh wait you already are one.

Twilight Sparkle

Dear Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon,

You’ll all be six-feet under before the next sunrise. Sleep well.


Dear BFF,

Next time shut your damn mouth. You’re not allowed to speak.

Silver Spoon

Dear Black Snooty,

Don’t worry about Diamond Tiara. Just wait 55 episodes and 4 other stories by Penstroke then you can finally be friends with a reformed Diamond Tiara.

Being helpful,
Pinkie Pie

To All Children of The Night,

Our True Queen has returned! But she is most likely in hiding as the spell cast was incomplete and she may not be at full strength. So, my fellow brothers and sisters gather as one to restore our Queen to overthrow Tyrantlestia!!!

Also, to our brothers and sisters living near Ponyville, be on the lookout for our Queen.

-High Prophet Spell Nexus

Dear Bastion and Co-workers,

Please drop all research on that spell that idiot cult cast. I don’t give a damn. I have another task in mind. Destroy my sister in a Halo 5 match.

My reasons for doing so are because when we two sisters played Halo 5, my dear sister wouldn’t stop spawn camping me. So, as your Tyrant Leader, I order you to do this, or be sentence to the moon.

Full of undying rage,
Princess Celestia

Dear Username: GamerWoona69,

Hacks!! HACKS!! Gat banned from Equestria bitch!!!

Completely crossed,
Username: ButtonMasherRIP2.014

Dear Username: ButtonMasherRIP2.014,

You dare insult best princess? Enjoy playing Pong on the bloody moon. Game Over. The End Is Neigh.

Ticked off,
Username: GamerWoona69

Dear EileMonty,

MOM!!!! I don’t wanna go to the moon.

Button Mash

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

Through my scientific observation, I believe you are suffering a form of actually becoming a nicer person. This is most probably due to your attachment to your cousin, Nyx. She might have brought out this feeling into you, thus making your heart grow three sizes that day.

Dr. Paxal

Past Sins by Pen Stroke: Chapter 5

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Past Sins: Chapter 5: Theatrical Trouble OR (Episode 1 The Remake)

It was after school at the schoolhouse, and, while the rest of her classmates were leaving for home, Nyx was by herself. She was sitting on the ground, under a tree writing on a book.

Dear Diary,

It’s been nearly a week since the whole incident with those two cunts. Mommy Twilight has been acting funny whenever I’m around her and although she’s trying to hide it, she keeps looking at me with an expression of fear. Hopefully, she doesn’t end up leaving me stuck up in the attic of the library for the rest of my childhood.

Sadly, school was no better. Those two cunts have been doing everything in their power to make me miserable but their efforts keep biting them back in the flank painfully.

For instance, they tried framing me for putting tacks on the teacher’s seat. Thankfully Ms. Cheerilee had more brain cells then our resident town ponies and saw through their ruse. Obviously it wasn’t me; it was that super fast bipedaled creature in a red and black suit with a yellow i symbol on his chest that did it. Ms. Cheerilee ended up making them miss recess. I’d prefer boiling them in a pool of lava in Tartarus but oh well.

But recess was not all that peaceful for me. These new memories I have; of me wanting to hurt ponies. Was I injected with Tracker Jacker Venom previously?

Why would I want to hurt Twilight? I mean yeah she’s a bitch to everypony but not to me for some weird reason. She took care of me; giving me food to eat, a place to sleep, helping me learn unicorn superiority and reading me bedtime stories. How could I want to hurt somepony like that?

That was when my new minions and Twist came in. What luck! I appreciate their concern though but from what I’ve heard from Twilight, anything they do always end up blowing something up. Usually with lots of tree sap. I ended up throwing caution to the wind and told them my problems. They even decided to pinkie promise whatever that means. On a side note, the town’s druggie really needs a restraining order on her sneaking into school grounds.

They tried telling me these memories were just a dream or something but I wasn’t convinced. So Zapplebloomer in all her stubbornness decided to do things the hard way and pushed the swing I was sitting on very hard until I was very high up in the hopes of snapping me out of my worries. Well, now I have a fear of heights along with my fear of thorny bushes.

That certainly “cheered” me up a bit. I am soo much better now.


Writing finish her last sentence. Nyx trotted back home to the Golden Oak Library.

Twilight smiled as she looked at the calendar on the wall, striking off another day. A month and a half since Nyx’s arrival. What a turn of events. Looking away from the calendar, Twilight picked up a checklist and began reading on it.

Okay let’s see. Spare Bed. Check. Wooded Boards. Check. Attic cleaned up for space. Check. Donuts filled with poison. Check.

Putting down the checklist, Twilight noticed out of the corner of her eye a certain book on the shelf of the library; a brown book with golden clasps on the corners and a gold unicorn on the cover. It was the very book that brought her into this hellhole of a town, the book that contained the legend of Nightmare Moon and the prophecy of her return. Without even thinking about it, Twilight opened the book and started rereading the first few lines of the story.

Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria, there were two regal sisters who ruled together and created harmony for all the land. To do this, the eldest-

“I’m home!”

Twilight immediately threw her checklist into the wastebasket nearby and then proceeded to face Nyx.

“Oh hey there, Nyx. Didn’t notice you. How was school today?” Twilight said with a twitching eye.

“Oh it was great, I guess.” Nyx chirped, paying no heed to twilight’s expression. “Cheerilee told us that we’re going to be putting on a play.”

“Really?” Twilight curiously replied.

“Yeah. Ms. Cheerilee said that hopefully this year’s play for the Ponyville Spring Festival will be better than last year’s play: High School Miserable.”

“I would hope so.”

“Ms. Cheerilee also said we can pick what the play will be about.”

“That sounds fun. Any ideas?”

“I… was kind of hoping I’d find a book in the library to do the play.” Nyx sheepishly admitted.

Twilight’s expression changed from that twitching to extremely delighted. “Absolutely wonderful! Books are Love; Books are Life after all. Go ahead. Take a look around.”

“Okay Twilight. I’ll see what I can find”, Nyx agreed. Suddenly, Applejack burst through the library door.

“Oh Great what now.” Twilight grumbled.

“Twilight, there you are. Help! There seems to be some weird vines starting to grow around the trees in my farm. You got any books in here that can help?”

“Well just get Zecora then!”

“I trust a bitch like you more than a witch like her. So will you help me?”

“Yeah sure whatever. Also, you owe me a new door by the way. Perhaps you can pay up by giving me some free lesbian sex later on at your farm after this shit is done.”

“Well what else could I do what with you putting a heating iron on your front door? And language Twilight. Your cousin is right in front of you.”

“Right… Okay let’s go.” Twilight replied, dashing off with Applejack, leaving Nyx behind.

“Well I guess I’ll just have to find the story myself then.” Nyx exclaimed and with that began browsing through the shelves.

Okay let’s see. Hungry Games by Suzanne Collins. No, it’s apparently illegal to kill and eat other ponies. 69 Hues of Neigh by E. L. James. No, too many props required. Frozen Novel Version? Oh Hell No.

“Great. What now.” Nyx exclaimed.

Out of the corner of Nyx’s eye, she saw an open book that was drawn in beautiful illustrations. Some of the stories in the book were read to her by Twilight before bedtime. Maybe there might be a good story in there?

Approaching the book, Nyx read out loud the current story the book was shown on.

“Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria, there were two regal sisters who ruled together and created harmony for all the land. To do this, the eldest-“

[Research Notes On Nyx: Note 4]

Volunteering for the upcoming school play with Rarity was probably not my best ideas. Then again Nyx is in the play and it would be hilarious to see her having stage fright. I really had no idea what the play was about considering I didn’t give a shit about it but I’m pretty sure Nyx made the right choice for a perfect story for the play.

What luck! The story is the very adventure that led me into this hellhole town. If life were a person I would have killed him a thousand times over.

The script of the play that Cheerilee gave us seemed more PG rated than how I remember it. Really? No drugs? No Sexual Shit? No Racism? Who the hell is in charge of the parent support group in this town cause I’m ready to tell them off.

Apparently a lot of the fillies and colts seemed very excited to do this playinstead of last years’ play. The ponies they picked for each role I found ironically stupid.

First off, why doesn’t Ms Cheerilee get Rarity to design the dresses by sticking gems to the shitty costumes but instead get untalented fillies to do it? I mean we’re here for volunteer work right? Oh come on! Secondly, the retards daughter is playing me. I am not a retard. I am the ex-pupil of the princess bitches.

At least Cheerilee made some right choices like not letting the Tweedle Brothers help in the play at all. It was also appropriate that the snobby brat and her minion played the bitch princess of the story Celestia and her lacky Princess Luna separately. I was quite surprise that they were going to do the Giggle At The Ghosties Song that our local druggie sang when she was at an all time high. Luckily they didn’t do Smile HD.

I think my brain needed a reboot when I found out Nyx was playing Nightmare Moon cause Rarity said she had to smack my head a couple of times before my mind restarted. I should really upgrade to Windows 10.

So Nyx is playing the role of herself in the play. This is not going to end well.

Twilight Sparkle

[Edited Script of Play]

Reunion of the Royal Pony Sisters
A Ponyville Elementary School Production
Written by Ms. Cheerilee
Music composed by Lyra Heartstrings
Disgruntled Twilight Sparkle………………………The Retard's Daughter
Applejack The Background Pony……………………………………Zapple Bloomer
Rarity The Drama Queen………………………………………Sweetie Bot
Rainbow Dash The Lesbian…………………………………Scoopapoo
Fluttershy The Doormat……………………………OC 1: Cotton Cloudy
Pinkie Pie The Drug Addict……………………………………OC 2: Sunny Daze
The Mayor……………………………………OC 3: Little Hoof
Gay Sea Serpent……………………………OC 4: Tornado Bolt
Manticore…………………………………………………OC 5: Archer
Princess Celestia AKA The True Antagonist…………Diamond Tiara AKA The Bully
Princess Luna AKA The Lacky………………………Silver Spoon AKA The Lacky
Nightmare Moon AKA The True Star of The Show……………………………………………Nyx
Ponyville Residents & Everfree Forest Trees
OC 6: Hot Rod, Ruby Pinch, OC 7: Paradise, OC 8: Tootsie Flute,
OC 9: Flash, OC 10: Peachy Pie, OC 11: Lily Dache
Set Design
Ruby Pinch, OC 7: Paradise, OC 10: Peachy Pie
OC 2: Sunny Daze, OC 8: Tootsie Flute, OC 11: Lily Dache
Stage Hooves
OC 6: Hot Rod & OC 9: Flash

Dear Diary,

Reading the story about the two royal sisters was definitely interesting. It was the most ridiculous story I’ve ever read. The story is about our country’s apparent lore. I mean who wrote this shit?

That was when I had this great idea. Make the play about this shit of a story. It would be hilarious seeing my classmates dress up as the stupid ponies about Ponyville. We could even invite the princesses to smack them right back in the face of their propaganda. It’s the perfect plan.

Sadly this back fired on me as I had to play the role of the villain in the story. And just to pour more salt on my wounds that pink bitch was bragging about how important her role was. She even had the nerve to say I’m not good enough for acting. Doesn’t she recall how poor her acting was in deceiving Twilight of my whereabouts? I’ll show her who gets to be a star in the play. So now I am super hyped!!! Ready to upstage that upstart.

This was scattered into a million pieces when Twilight said I was grounded so I couldn’t go to the play. I tried arguing with her but she put me in the attic and boarded up the door, throwing away the key.

Why does she do this to me? I’ve worked really hard for the play, and I learn’t all my lines. I could have gone to Hollihoof and be a star. IT’S NOT FAIR!

Luckily Fax Machine was at home and helped got me out. He apparently was just helping me to spite Twilight. Urm... Thanks?

So putting on my costume and with a Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo I was ready to go and be a star. Accept for the part that Owlowiscious was guarding the door like a hawk…urm I mean owl.

I tried begging at first. It didn’t work cause Owlowiscious saw through my crocodile tears. Time For Plan B. I threatened to fry him into a E.F.O (Equestrian Fried Owl). It worked and I was off.

Running as fast as I did I may have kind of tripped and damaged the wings of my costume. I should have known better that the shitty costume would break. A fucking filly stitched it for crying out loud. I’m lucky I could use my real wings for the costume. Hopefully no one notices and Twilight’s not going to kill me. I’m not going to let that bully ruin the play with her amateur acting. Hollihoof I’m coming!!!

Soon To Be Star,

Dear Scootaloo,

Really? Saying that to Nyx? You learn from Rainbow Dash too much.

Your “Friends”,
Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom

Dear AJ,

Those weird plants growing around your farm, they’re called plundervines you waste of a background pony.


Dear Twilight Sparkle,

Considering you took part in the Hearth’s Warming Eve pageant shouldn’t you be teaching Nyx acting skills?


Dear Cheerilee,

I thank thee for giving me this role

For this act of kindness has made me feel whole

I will try to give my helping hand

Narrating this story as best as I can

My rhyming skills will be something to behold

For now my plans for orange farm pony stew will be put on hold


Dear Method Mares,

We’re doing a play in Ponyville on the reunion of the two sisters. Would you be interested in teaching our fillies on how to properly act?


Dear Cheerilee,

Sorry. We’re booked by a Ms. Coco Pommel in Manehatten.

Method Mares

Past Sins by Pen Stroke: Chapter 6

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Past Sins: Chapter 6: Reunion of the Royal Pony Sisters OR (Nyx Steals The Show)

[Research Notes On Nyx: Note 5]

Being at the Spring Festival I would say I’m glad I left Nyx behind. It sucks so far. Apparently somepony was stupid enough to put on stage those two brain dead colts for the opening act: Comedy. The only thing that was funny was their attempts to be funny. The only part I found entertaining was them trying to saw each other in half. Let’s just say luckily Nurse Redheart and Dampé was nearby.

I had to lie in order to explain to my friends that Nyx was having the stomach flu and couldn’t perform in the play. Good thing Applejack, Element of Honesty, failed to see through my lies. Guess she didn’t see any Psyche-Locks. Meanwhile, Rainbow was being a bitch again insulting my little Nyxie about how she couldn’t act well as Nightmare Moon with how timid she was. If she only knew. I still really think Applejack and Rainbow Dash should get a game link cable and switch their elements cause both seem to not represent their own but each others.

Talking about Nyx right then and there was not the best timing as the Princesses were sitting right next to us in the V.I.P seats. I think I nearly had a heart attack as well when my ex-mentor started questioning me. I ended up explaining to them that Nyx was my half cousin twice removed. They seemed buy that story considering they have an ass of a nephew as well.

Luckily the play started so I didn’t need to say anything else. The play started out okay with the narrator. Though that zebra should have stayed in bed cause her rhyming sounded way off. What a promising start. There was also difficulty in enjoying myself in this crappy play when the Princesses and my friends were such nitpickers. They wouldn’t stop muttering: “Well that’s just silly. I don’t sound like that” or “This is pathetic. My jokes are way funnier than this” or even “They make me totally stiff and humorless.”

I’m pretty sure those colts and fillies were spot on especially that pink bitch playing Celestia. That brats’ personality fit Celestias’ pretty well. What left me jaw dropping was Nyx appearing on stage without her glasses. Didn’t I lock her up? She’s definitely grounded for sure. I could almost sense the angry mob forming if they saw the recognition of Nyx to Nightmare Moon. Instead what happened was just laughter? Plain silly laughter at Nyxs’ good performance out of all the other fillies. It’s a fucking miracle that I would have never believed possible. Maybe fate is being kind today.

After the play there was a standing ovation for the fillies. The loudest cheers were for Nyx especially. I was so proud!! Her acting was spot on, remembering all her lines!! Wait…She remembers all her lines…Oh shit.

Nyx is so in trouble after this. Nightmare Moon is definitely getting banished to her room for 1000 years.

A furious mother unicorn,
Twilight Sparkle

Dear Diary,

Being on stage in front of hundreds of ponies in the play was certainly nerve wrecking. I was especially nervous with how Twilight would react. I didn’t want to battle another fucking Rapidash since I came across way too many whilst taking a shortcut through a grassy field. But I just thought of how much I wanted to show that upstart that I pulled through my own personal fears.

And as I stood on that stage. As I said those lines. They somehow felt so familiar? I don’t know why? I had a weird sense of déjà vu. Like I’ve done this all before. Am I trapped in some time loop or something? I better ask Sweetie Bot about it since she’s the expert.

After the play there was a standing ovation. Ponies clapped the loudest for me than anypony else. I stole the show apparently. Awesome!! They Love Me. They Really Love Me. Hollihoof Here I Come.

So, I jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire when Twilight and company approached us. While Twilights’ friends were “praising” the kids for their “spot on” performance, Twilight kept sternly staring at me.

I’m in deep shit that’s for sure. Strangely, Twilight congratulated me for my better performance than any of the other colts and fillies. I guess I’m scot-free… that is until she said I was grounded for not wearing my glasses and vest. Oh yeah. So that’s why I was able to see better when running to the theatre.

So now I’m grounded for 1000 years…Ah shit. Why? Just why? Why she has to be so rude? Doesn’t she know I’m a pony too? Honestly if I were ruler of Equestria I would ban parents from grounding every colt and filly and maybe do a public thorn bush burning of every thorn bush in the vicinity of Equestria.

Soon to be star and ruler,

[Research Notes On Nyx: Note 6]

After the play, I felt drained. Luckily Rainbow Dash mentioned what a great spell I cast on Nyx for her eyes. Well problem one solved. Problem number two was Rainbow Dash asking if I could cast the same spell on her. Well… I did my best. Now she looks like a Japonyse Anime Character. Sailor Moon might have a problem with that.

Well my friends and I had a drug party celebration and we even brought the fillies along with us. What great adults we are.

Returning home, and with a large hangover, I tucked Nyx into bed and we had a heart to heart talk. And no it’s not about the birds and the bees. That’s Cheerilees’ job not mine. We were discussing her memories.

Nyx has been thinking a lot lately. Her memories of Nightmare Moon. Her looking like Nightmare Moon. She was getting very upset and then she asked me the question that has been plaguing her for so long; “Was she Nightmare Moon?”

I was stunned at first. But in the end, I did the most unexpected thing in my whole life. I told her the truth. About her memories. About everything. The very reason of her creation, the Crazy Cults. Everything off the top of my head. And my answer to her question? Fucking Hell No!! She is fucking not Nightmare Moon. Nyx is a good little filly that reminds me of myself when I was younger. She’s not a pity reflection of a gamer princess we call our ruler. Nyx is sweet. She’s kind. She’s the godchild that anypony could ask for. She’s….

Hold on a minute here. There it is again. That weird feeling I have whenever I’m talking about Nyx…Why does this keep happening? Dr. Paxal seemed to think that I may have adopted maternal instinct for Nyx but… Is this really true?
I’m not really sure… but with how I’ve been acting around her, minus the whole locking her up in the attic. I have been treating her like the child I never had.

I’m… actually okay with that… Wow… a daughter… I have a daughter now!!!! I can’t believe I’m saying this but Nyx has truly become like a daughter to me. She can consider herself part of the Sparkle Family. I ADMIT it. I don’t care what ponies think, she’s my new daughter. I fucking love her.

A newly appointed mother,
Twilight Sparkle

Tucking Nyx to bed, Twilight trotted down the stairs to face a certain brown owl.

“Oh Owlowiscious. “


“Uh-oh is right mister,” Twilight firmly asserted, grinning evilly.

Spike tried his best not to laugh at the owls’ ordeal. He only stopped laughing when Twilight approached him.

“And don’t think I forgot about you Fax Machine.”


Dear Sister,

Bringing me to see a play about my defeat. Buck You Bitch.

Princess Luna

Dear Sunny Daze,

I’ll deal with you later for impersonating me and singing my song. For now I’m setting up a party cannon specifically for Rarity.

Pinkie Pie

Dear Princess Celestia,

How many bits do I have to pay your Royal Guard for protection against a certain drugged-up pink mare?


Dear Rarity,

Not to worry. I’ll just set up some plans to dump that pink mare into an insane asylum. She’s been said to be stealing a new crystal meth called Blue Sky from the trains coming from the Crystal Meth Empire. The cake she sent me only confirmed those claims.

Your Helpful Ruler,
Princess Celestia

Dear Lyra,

Shouldn’t you be hunting for mythical humans somewhere in an insane asylum instead of composing music for a school play?

Octavia Melody

Dear Daughter,

Why does Nyx look an awful lot like Nightmare Moon?

Brother Filthy Rich

Dear Filthy Rich,

What if I told you Nyx IS Nightmare Moon?


Past Sins by Pen Stroke: Chapter 7

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Past Sins: Chapter 7: Careful Maneuvering OR (Stay Away From Pinkie Pie)

Meanwhile in the Ponyville Insane Asylum…

A male white coloured earth pony approached a microphone to make an important announcement to everypony working in the Asylum.

“SCP-MLP Pinkamena has escaped. Be on the look out for her- *snap* [DATA EXPUNGED]

End Transmission…

Meanwhile in a manor in Canterlot…

Spell Nexus was standing near one of his windows in the manor, horn glowing as he held a glass of fine orange juice, opening up a scroll in his study which was just hoof-delivered to him. He gently swished the glass, and its contents danced under the gentle motions. His turquoise eyes focused on the moon, which was a beautiful crescent in the sky.

To Revered Brother Nexus – High Prophet of The True Queen,

I hope this letter finds you quickly, Brother Nexus. That derpy-eyed mare better not have fucked up the mail again. Although we have yet to find any traces of our queen, and, recently, even the lingering portions of her aura at the ancient castle have dissipated. I have reason to believe Nyx, a filly that has been living in the town under the care of a certain Twilight Sparkle for quite a while, may actually be our Benevolent Queen.

First off, she bears an uncanny resemblance to our queen if she was a filly.

Secondly, She was admitted as a new student to Ponyville Elementary around the same time as the spell we cast.

And finally, I am a very rich pony so I own the train station in Ponyville and I do not recall any mention in the reports by my train conductor of a filly travelling by herself to stay with her disgruntled cousin.

Either Nyx is Nightmare Moon or I need to stop taking a red and a blue pill before going to bed.

Anyways, if my hunch is right. I need your help. Beacuse of my useless daughter and even more useless wife, I’m now at odds with Twilight Sparkle. Thus, I’m reaching out for your guidance, Brother Nexus, in how you wish me to proceed.

I patiently await your reply.

For the Night Eternal
For Equestria’s True Queen
Honored Brother Rich – Prophet of Ponyville


Nexus looked up from the scroll and saw Proper Etiquette entered his study.

Etiquette held out a scroll to Nexus, which was bound shut with a purple ribbon and a silver full moon seal.

“There is another letter for you, sir.”

“Thank you, Etiquette,” Nexus replied as he took the scroll with his own magic.

With that, Etiquette bowed respectfully before he turned and removed himself from the room. Nexus watched and waited until Proper Etiquette had left before he began reading the second letter.

Dear Revered Brother Nexus – High Prophet of The True Queen

This is a written report on the comings and goings of the unicorns assigned by Princess Celestia to study and understand the nature of the resurrection spell we attempted.

I realize this report comes fairly soon after my last and that you did not expect it for several days. There have been, however, a few developments I believe you would want to know about without delay.

First, with the research team moving on to play Halo 5 for some reason, their endeavours in understanding our spell have stopped altogether. However they will, in time, decipher the spell.

Second, Princess Celestia came to the research team this morning to check on the “progress”. Bastion and Celestia ended up chating with one another. The Princess talked about the Spring Festival she attended yesterday evening with her sister in Ponyville. She said it was hilarious to humiliate her sister about the events of her defeat and that many of the performances were utter crap in the play.

At this point, the princess divulged to Bastion that her ex-student, Twilight Sparkle, was now taking care of a black-coated unicorn young filly by the name of Nyx; her half-cousin.

I would have dismissed this as idle chatter if Bastion hadn’t made a very interesting comment. He divulged that he had grown up knowing Twilight’s father. He had even written a letter of recommendation, at the father’s request along with a tons of bits, to help her secure an invitation to take the entrance exam for Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns.

In his comments, Bastion admitted it was strange that Twilight had called Nyx a half-cousin. According to Bastion, while Twilight’s father has siblings that share the same two parents, making it impossible for Twilight to have any half-cousins. Perhaps the Princess must have misheard. She is getting old after all.

Again, I would have believed this to be nothing but idle chatter. Yet later this believe was tossed aside when I overheard from Princess Celestia’s private guards conversating. The two pegasi were discussing with relief about how the princess made an unscheduled stop on her daily routine. She went to the Equestria Central Records Office, during what was supposed to be the time where she “disciplines” her guards. She requested the family records pertaining to Twilight Sparkle to be delivered to her royal chambers this evening.

I was unable to discover more since my shift had ended but here is my report. I will submit my next regular report at the scheduled time.

For the Night Eternal
For Equestria’s True Queen
Exalted Sister Night Wind

Upon reading both letters, Spell Nexus put the scrolls aside and looked out the window once more, to see the beautiful Moon in the starry night sky.

“Nightmare Moon shall truly rise again.” Nexus thought.

With that, he began writing letters to his fellow Brothers and Sisters whom reside in Ponyville to spy on a certain black filly.

[Research Notes On Nyx Her Daughter: Note 7]

So it’s been a few days after the Spring Festival and fucking Cheerilee was setting up a school event called the Learn and Play day and wouldn’t you know it I got fucking signed up as a volunteer. It’s early in the morning! Was getting my beauty sleep and was having an erotic dream when I was awoken up by stupid Fax Machine.

Anyways perhaps I could help set up a booth for colts and fillies to learn the 101 positions ponies can have sex in and even provide a live demonstration if I could get Big Mac to help.

With so much work needed to be done I honestly expected the rainbow lesbian to be sleeping on the job again like the bitch she is when I nearly had a heart attack when she popped up behind me.

Strangely that bitch has provided a ton of help setting up the booths and games in about 20 minutes flat. Well at least she’s not being a lazy asshole for once in her egotistical life. That is until Cheerilee mentioned that she’ll be giving out prizes and that lazy bitch started rummaging through the prizes rudely. One of the prizes was a yoyo and after she tried and failed to do a few tricks Rainbow got hog-tied by the yoyo.

I was tempted to get myself a free session with dominating that rainbow bimbo but finding out that Pinkie had somehow managed to escape the Ponyville Asylum just in time for the Learn and Play day definitely dampen my sexual mood.

Later on, during the Learn and Play day itself, I was minding my own business with Rainbow after visiting Scootaloos’ booth explaining how the Sonic Rainboom works (Apparently doing two at the same time can make you cross dimensions along with the destruction of the whole town.) when a tree appeared out of nowhere in the middle of the exhibitions.

Immediately, I dashed to the scene of the crime and found myself seeing Pinkie jumping up and down like a mad mare and my daughter beneath one of the exhibit tables with her head was in her hooves while shaking like a leaf. What the fuck did Pinkie do?

Somehow Pinkie managed to convince both Fluttershy and my daughter to turn Fluttershy into a tree using a Transfiguration Spell that my daughter was doing for her booth. Well one of Fluttershy’s wishes came true. So Fluttershy what’s it like to turn into a yellow colored Bloomberg?

The situation could have ended right there with one less friend to worry about until those idiotic flower ponies started screaming “The horror! The HORROR!!!” in front of everypony and a crowd soon formed around the tree. Seriously? Relax everypony. It’s just a Transfiguration Spell. It’s only temporary. It’s not like she’ll be stuck like this for 200 years or something.

So I had no choice but to turn Fluttershy back to normal. Though I could always turn Pinkie into a cupcake for pressurizing my daughter. I bet she’ll taste like cotton candy.

So my daughter and I ended up leaving all the commotion to get ourselves some grub.

A hungry mother,
Twilight Sparkle

P.S. Apparently after I left Pinkie had another one of her drug induced spasms? This time she said somepony was spying on us. Pretty sure it’s just the ponies trying to capture their mental escapee. I do wonder what kind of chaos Pinkie Pie would unleash on during the “Learn and Play Day.”

Dear Cheerilee,

It’s kind of clear Twilight didn’t want to help out at all organizing the Learn and Play day. Why didn’t you ask me instead?

Amethyst Star

Dear Amethyst Star,

Three Words. Winter Wrap Up. Remember that? That’s why you’re only second best organizer in Ponyville.

Mayor Mare

Dear Twilight,

Back off bitch. Big Mac is my fuckmeat.


Dear Scout,

Is Spy spying on me again? How many times do I have to tell you? I didn’t ate Heavy’s’ sandwich. Does he want a party cannon to his face?

Pinkie Pie

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Past Sins by Pen Stroke: Chapter 8

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Past Sins: Chapter 8 : You Can’t Hide Magic OR (Alicorn Magic is Overpowered)

Dear Diary,

So I was minding my own business setting up my booth for the Learn and Play Day about Transfiguration Spells when Fluttershy and the mentally challenged drug addict interrupted me. The nerve of someponies. After explaining to them the purpose of my booth when the druggie started pestering me to turn objects into props you could find at a joke shop then asked if I could turn her into something. I GLADLY obliged. I was aiming the spell at the mental escapee intending to turn her into a bloody tree and kill her with fire but Fluttershy was in the way and got hit instead. The druggie was not amused and looked like she was about to attack me so I hit her with a blinding spell and hid under the tables.

That’s when Mommy came to the rescue and now we’re happily eating apples at the apple stand. I’d prefer celery soup but I guess apples are okay. You know the saying; An apple a day keeps the Doctor away. Especially if you aimed for the head.

After the light snack my minions and I participated in the Tug of War Tournament for the Learn and Play Day. We were against both young and older ponies from school so at least one of us could use magic. Obviously that left me to do the dirty work cause of alicorn unicorn superiority. The games would have been fun if my minions wouldn’t stop shouting “Cutie Mark Crusaders Tug of War Champions!!” every five seconds. Things got more entertaining when we were going against the Diamond bitch. My minions and I were at a stalemate during the Tug-of-War with Diamonds’ team but we had a plan. We cheated. We let go of the rope, made them lose their footing, pulled back hard and they faced planted into the mud. Eat Dirt BITCH!! Diamonds girly tantrum only made the victory all the more sweeter.

The final round was against some of the older ponies in our school. It was not going so well. My minions were the first to fall into the mud and that left me. I should really get better minions. So obviously I used my magic full force and pulled with all my might and won.

Yay unicorn power!! Or should I say… ALICORN power?

I’m definitely no weakling for sure and so I stood there waiting for the applause only to be met with stunned silence. Awkward…

I think Mommy also went into Blue Screen of Death mode when I saw her sitting there in the crowd mouth agape. Luckily the silence ended when my minions started cheering for my astounding victory and the crowd soon followed.

To sum it up today was a great day mostly. I even got a prize from the competition. A Kazoo!!! I can’t wait to annoy the fuck out of Fax Machine with it.

Number One Champion,

“Boy, that was crazy,” Rainbow Dash stated while talking with Fluttershy while cleaning up the mess from after the Learn and Play Day. “I mean crybaby Nyx beating that whole team by herself? Wow, what are the chances of that ever happening?”

“It really was amazing,” Fluttershy replied. “I mean her magic was very strong. She turned me into a Celestia-damm Tree for Luna’s sake!! I wonder if everypony in Twilight’s family is that good in magic.”

“Probably,” Rainbow Dash replied as she put a hoof on the door to the supply closet. “too bad that filly is related to that purple bitc-”
Rainbows’ sentence was cut off when she walked into something. Caught off guard by the sudden collision, Rainbow quickly flew backwards and tried to register what she had run into.

“Pi… Pinkie Pie?” Rainbow Dash mumbled confused. She and Fluttershy immediately moved around in front of Pinkie Pie. Pinkie was standing still as a statue on her hind legs in a karate pose, and her eyes were focused on a point on the far side of the room.

“Urm okay? Is… is she dead?” Dash asked, noticing how very still Pinkie Pie was standing.

“Maybe she took too many drugs and now she’s paralyzed?” Fluttershy replied back, poking at Pinkies’ poofy mane.

“Well we got to do something? Wait… I got an idea. Hey Pinkie Pie! Twilight just got a letter from Princess Celestia saying that she wants you to try out a new drug imported from the Crystal Empire.”

Pinkie Pie’s eyes, which had been narrow and transfixed on a spot on the far side of the room, grew wide, and, in a flash, Pinkie was bouncing off the walls and ceiling, her giggles filling the air.

“Oh My Celestia, that’s so super-duper amazing! I so going there right now! Oh A Canterlot I’ll Go. A Canterlot I’ll Go. High Ho A Merry Oh A Canterlot I’ll Go!” Pinkie said in her annoyingly hyper sing-song voice.

“Yeah, Pinkie Pie… about that… I was lying.” Rainbow said apologetically.

Pinkie Pie froze up mid-jump, defying gravity for a moment before dropping down to the ground. She then proceeded to trot over to Dash, hair deflated and glaring with her cold bloodshot eyes. “That was not a fucking okay prank, Dashie.”


“ Anyways who fucking Stared me? Was it you?” Pinkie said pointing at Fluttershy.

“Urm Pinkie, I wasn’t the one who used The Stare on you,” Fluttershy relied warily.

“You weren’t? But then who…” Pinkie Pie began, only for her eyes to narrow. She turned to look at the far end of the room, intending to glare at a pony that was no longer there. “It was him!”

“Him who, Pinkie?” Dash asked.

“The spy!” she shouted as she trotted across the room pointing to a spot on the floor. “I followed him in here, and he was standing right here. Right here! I had him cornered, but then he opened his eyes and then everything went black…”

“Pretty sure you’re just high on drugs?” Fluttershy muttered under her breath.

“Oh well. I guess it doesn’t matter,” Pinkie Pie assured firmly, resuming her normal, happy, bubbly attitude and proceeded to bounce towards the door. “I’ll just have fun with all the afternoon games; I would hate to miss the six-legged race and watching the tug of war. Oh, and I just gotta play Pin the Tail on the Pony!”

“Urm.. Pinkie Pie, you did miss all that.”

Pinkie Pie froze up half way through the door.

A loud blood curtailing scream could be heard throughout all of Ponyville that night.

Dear Spyerton McSpy,

I’ll find you for I am always watching!!!

Never Sleeping,
Pinkie Pie

Past Sins by Pen Stroke: Chapter 9

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Past Sins: Chapter 9: Revealing Truths OR (Lying Sucks)

[Research Notes on Nyx Her Daughter : Note 8]

So it was just after the Learn and Play Day and Rainbow was already back to being a lazy ass bitch but honestly that was the least of my concerns. My main concern was Nyx. I was having this slight paranoia again that Nyx might have the slightest possibility of becoming Nightmare Moon again what with her displaying her full power earlier so I dumped Nyx at Applejack's place on my way back to the Library since her minions were having a sleepover there and also for the fact that I was getting very fucking annoyed by her kazoo tooting.

Back inside my library, I was immediately immersed in my research in finding out if I've missed out on any spell that might possibly be the solution to my problem of Nightmare Moons' Return 3.0 when Rarity snuck up behind me. Fucking Hell, I can't believe I've forgotten to replace that broken door in my library...

Things only got more complicated when she saw the letter I was planning to send to my senile mentor about Nyx. She then proceeded to say that I was being overdramatic about the situation. Oh screw that hypocritical slut.

Who does that bitch think she is? She doesn't know how I truly feel about this. I fear for Nyx. I don't want her to grow up being like Nightmare Moon. To be shunned at by others. I want her to grow up as my beautiful young daughter. And once she has her proper childhood then she'll overthrow Princess Celestia.

I will at least give Rarity credit for being a proper friend for once in her worthless life when she and I had a nice tea party to help calm my nerves. Oh yeah a tea party. That'll be sooo much fun. Seriously, if she dares ask for a lump of sugar, I'll proceed to give her a lump on her stupid head with a fucking hammer.

At least I would have done that but she started reassuring me by telling me how she overheard some very interesting stories about what Nyx and her minions have been doing under my nose since bringing her to my life. Hearing how much fun my little Nyxie has been having helped relieve myself of any worries though I definitely will not be able look at a tree the same way again with how Rarity described it to me. I will however most definitely try that later with Fluttershy. Till then Rarity and I are going to the Ponyville Spa to get the "usual" treatment. Whatever that means.

Your No Longer Paranoid Unicorn,
Twilight Sparkle

Dear Diary,

So Mommy dumped me to my minions sleepover after the Learn and Play Day. My guess is that she probably found a stallion to mount on and so adandoned me in this war-torn farmhouse as she didn't want my young eyes to see what was going on in her bedroom. A shame really I would have brought popcorn and enjoyed the show. Anyway back to the point. Now I'm stuck here in the meantime having a sleepover with my minions. Ah Sleepovers. The time where you're allowed to "borrow" you friends food and drinks from the fridge free of charge without any consequence.

I'll admit my minions and I had a blast. First we tied Big Mac up with rope and phoned in the resident mail mare to mailed him to Ms. Cheerilee. Then we proceeded to paint all the apples in the orchard into a multitude of colours and blamed it on Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie. Then we put thumb tacks on Applejacks' bed. It was only for the last prank that we were told to go to our rooms.

We got bored pretty quickly. Scoopapoo tried telling ghost stories but they were pretty lame. I've heard better. Like the story Mommy told me of the Child Molester that lives in Canterlot Castle. I tried suggesting that we could play Russian Roulette but Applejack wouldn't allow me to borrow any of her old weaponry from her old war days. Overall, we were stumped on what to do.

While we were pondering what to do I remember how my mom told me what she did during her first slumber party. Torturing her friends with that crapshit of a book titled Slumber 101: Everything You Wanted To Know About Sleepovers But Were Afraid to Ask. So, I thought to myself, "Why not torment my minions with this as well?"

Following the book, I ended up deciding that we play a game of Truth or Dare as this would be very useful in digging up some dirty secrets to blackmail with. The game was off to a very great start when we Dared Applebloom to go into Big Macs' secret drawer and take out something from inside and put it in Granny Smiths room. That would be funny as hell.

I had such a blast hearing all their dirty little secrets... That is until it came to my turn. Dammit! I can't believe I fucking forgot that I was participating in this game as well. I ended up choosing Truth as I didn't want to be Dared into going into the Everfree Forest again but that's when the problem really started. They went straight to the point of asking what was the biggest secret I've never told anypony about.

So I was at a standstill. It was either that I confess that I kissed Scoopapoo during the News Year Celebration or tell them I was an alicorn. I obviously chose the latter and sadly I think I made the wrong choice. They were so fucking annoying when they started asking me questions like "Was I royalty?" or "Was my birth the cause of a pegasus fucking a unicorn?" or even "Was I a Marysue/OC?". What in Equestria does that last question even fucking mean?

Thankfully, Applejack was apparently fed up with all the noise we were making and told us to go to sleep or else she'll tie us to our beds. Little did she know, that's what my minions and I are planning on doing to her once she falls asleep. Sadly Sweetie Bots' lame singing bored all of us to sleep before we could put our plan into action. I'm seriously starting to doubt the usefulness of my minions.

Your Sleepy Alicorn,

Dear Spell Nexus,

Since the events of those crazed cultist kidnapping my ex-student, I've been having trouble sleeping. The possibility of Nightmare Moon returning? Oh Hell No. I don't feel anymore safer since the stupid Elements of Harmony, the one and only way to get rid of any and all problems, are now binded to my irresponsible ex-student and her subordinates leaving me more vulnerable than ever before. The only upside is that I found a good use for my Loyal Royal Guards other than fuckmeat. They are perfect meat shields for any oncoming attacks. Still, exterminating a problem before it even starts is way better.

Which brings me to why I am writing this letter to you. With what little Bastion and his team has gathered about the spell cast is that it was half successful upon casting. Makes me wonder why there isn't a bottom half of Nightmare Moon trotting about Ponyville. Anyways I've come to believe that a certain black filly that has been living under my ex-student might have been the result of the aborted spell. This theory was only further proven after checking family records of the Sparkle Family.

Also, evidence of Nyx being Nightmare Moon is very surprising coincidental. Firstly, she's very overconfident like wanting to be a star to the point of demanding me to send her to Hollihoof in a letter she sent to me in crayon. Secondly, she's quite the commanding pony, trumping the resident bully of the school and has made the schoolhouse her personal playground to the point of even having minions as her own possi. Thirdly, she's very deceptive she's hides her evil side to the adult ponies under the guise of a kind and timid filly. And finally, during the Learn and Play Day in Ponyville I sensed an upsurge of Alicorn Magic there twice. This is very strange considering my sister is still stuck playing her addictive video games in the attic pf the castle and my niece is too busy fucking my ex-students' brother back in the Crystal Meth Empire to visit at all.

Thankfully my dumb sister has been neglecting her duties as Princess of the Dreams if not she would have seen the nightmares I've been having of Nyx turning into Nightmare Moon. And so I'm asking you, Spell Nexus, my most faithful old student who has not betrayed me unlike Sunset Shimmer or recently Twilight Sparkle to prepare a banishment spell to send Nyx to some other remote universe while I'm going to Ponyville and bringing Nyx under house arrest but disguising this little event as rescuing a little orphan filly from the clutches of my highly sexualized ex-student.

I just hope that my hunch is right or else there will be an angry mob pounding on my front door.

Princess Celestia

Spell Nexus upon reading the letter just sent to him gave a menacing grin and laugh maniacally.

“Oh Celestia, you foal, you have become the contributing architect in your own demise,” Nexus whispered before setting up the materials needed for a resurrection spell 2.0.

Past Sins by Pen Stroke: Chapter 10

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Past Sins: Chapter 10 : Treachery OR (Princess Celestia You Dun Goofed)

Dear Diary,

Oh what time it is? Summertime!!! Schools Out!!! SCREAM AND SHOUT!!!

Sorry had to get that fucking song out of my system. Anyways schools session is over and we have the whole summertime for me and my minions to get our butt tattoos. Luckily I’m leading them now cause apparently they’ve been doing the same ideas for crusading over and over again every summer?? It’s like their lives are stuck in Groundhog Day or something.

Well Minions… I know what we’re going to do today. And that is not being a fucking retard repeating bullshit again. Hell let’s try something new like built a motherfucking rollercoaster during the summer. The construction work involved will annoy the fuck out of the town’s residence and be an inconvenience everypony. It’ll be fantastic!

Till then I have to hide my report book from Mommy cause she’ll most likely ground me and send me to summer camp at Gravity Falls for not doing well. Hiding my report book was very easy. Just stuff it down Fax Machine’s throat. So with that done Mommy and I spent the afternoon together. We had so much fun throwing water balloons filled with white tree sap at all the residents at the park, went shopping at Cadenza’s Secret and beating the shit out of some weird ass hobo with a baseball bat repeatedly. It was such a blast, what a way to start out the summer!! That is until we saw a Golden Chariot outside the library.

I swear I didn’t kill anypony. Fax Machine put me up to it.

An Innocent Alicorn,

“Princess Celestia what an unexpected surprise…” Twilight exclaimed

Twilight Sparkle gestured back to Nyx and Fax Machine to go to the kitchen. There was about to be a lot of adult talk coming soon…

Twilight stood across from Princess Celestia and put on a nervous smile asking, “What brings you to Ponyville? Is there another fucking dragon hibernating in the mountains due to smoking to much cigarettes?”

“No, we have put no smoking signs there already. But there is something important I need to talk to you about,” Princess Celestia replied seriously.

Not a good sign. Prepare the pepper spray.

“Now,” Princess Celestia continued calmly, “Twilight Sparkle, I’m here because I need to talk to you about Nyx, who I know is not your cousin.”

Oh Luna Fuck Me!!!

Twilight turned back towards Princess Celestia. Her first instinct was to get the fuck out of here. But she didn’t want to leave Nyx alone.

“How much do you know?” Twilight asked quietly.

“I have my suspicions but please tell me everything you know.”

Yep. I’m screwed.

One round of exposition later…

“I thank you for your honesty, Twilight,” the princess began, offering a truly warm smile with her word.

“It’s hard to lie when you put a fucking truth-telling spell on me…” Twilight muttered under her breath.

“What was that?”


Celestia stared at Twilight for a moment then proceeded to speak again.

“Might I ask… How much you care for Nyx?”

“Huh… What do you mean, Princess?”

“What is Nyx to you?” Celestia elaborated. “Are you simply her jailer? Does Nyx perhaps look upon you as her Master? Or is she your accomplice?”

Twilight chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of her neck. “Well, actually, it’s funny you should ask that, I think of Nyx as my daughter.” Twilight grew very quiet.

Princess Celestia sat perfectly still for a time, as if Twilight’s statement had overloaded her brain.

Princess Celestia took a deep breath, preparing herself to tell Twilight something that would hurt her ex-student dearly. “Nyx might be the very essence of the mare Nightmare Moon and thus has to be dealt with immediately.”

“No… no no no no!” Twilight shouted, shaking her head furiously. “That doesn’t mean anything! She doesn’t want to take over Equestria. She doesn’t want to hurt anypony! She actually likes the sun and… and… I will not have her taken away!!” Twilight stomped her hoof, set in her decision.

At that last sentence, Princess Celestia stood before Twilight, her face not showing any drop of emotion at all. The line of her lips was flat. Her eyes were steely and knowing. It was the face of a Tyrant.

“That was not a request Twilight. Would you like me to have you arrested for treason? Or better yet how about I execute you?”

Twilight at first sat there stunned at first but in the end bowed her head possibility to hide the look of pain on her face of what she had to do if she did not want to be thrown to jail and executed. Princess Celestia just stood there. Waiting. Suddenly the kitchen doors sprung open.

“Oh, Urm… Hey Princess Celestia,” Spike greeted. “I had this sudden feeling that Twilight might be suffering? Did I miss anything that I would want to see?”

“Nothing much.” The princess cleared her throat and resumed her normal, motherly voice. “Also, I must ask that Nyx come back with me to Canterlot.”

Spike looked back into the kitchen. At Nyx specifically then back at Princess Celestia. Spike grinned evilly and immediately shoved Nyx towards Princess Celestia.

“She’s all yours!” Spike shouted and then dashed off.

Nyx sat there confused staring up at Princess Celestia.

“What the fuck just happened?” Nyx asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh. Twilight has just told me that you are an alicorn, and we agreed that it would be for the best if she got a check-up from my royal doctor.”

“Can't you have a doctor come here or something?” Nyx asked wearily.

“No.” Celestia said firmly.

Nyx was taken aback by Princess Celestia tone and proceeded to turn to her Mother.

“Mom… Can we talk?” Nyx asked Twilight.

Twilight and Nyx proceeded to enter the kitchen, just out of earshot from Princess Celestia. That didn’t stop Nyx, however, from shouting.

“Why are you sending me away? With HER of all ponies?” Nyx asked pleadingly, pointing out the door.

“That’s worse than any summer camp at all.” Nyx added on.

Twilight didn’t answer; she didn’t even turn to look at Nyx. She just kept looking down at the floor, body trembling as tears flowed from her eyes.

“Twilight?” Nyx ventured to ask again. Still no answer from Twilight.

“Do you… You do still care about me right…? Right?” Nyx whimpered.

Twilight remained silent. Those few seconds between mother and daughter felt like eternity.

“Just go.” Twilight finally said.

“What?” Nyx said taken aback by her words.

“I said JUST GO!”

“NO! I don't want to go!” Nyx snapped. Nyx got right up beside Twilight and nuzzling one of her legs. “I want to stay here with you, Mommy.”

Twilight turned her head away.

“MOMMY!! Are you listening?”

“No you can’t stay.” Twilight firmly replied.

“And why not?” Nyx grumbled, crossing her hooves.

“Because you can’t.”

“But I’m your daughter.”

“No…You’re not” Twilight said turning to Nyx. “You’re not my daughter. You’re just an abortion from a resurrection spell gone wrong and you shouldn’t have existed in the first place!!!”

Nyx stood there stunned. Words could not express how hurt she felt right then and there. Nyx face turned from stunned to sad and then to anger. Nyx didn’t want anything to do with her mother right now.

“Well… I’ll just go then.” Nyx said softly, her voice sounding like it was about to break.

“Well Fine Then!” Twilight snapped back.

“FINE!!” Nyx shouted back running out the door towards Princess Celestia, her eyes turned away from Twilight.

“I take it you’re ready to go?” Princess Celestia quirked.

“Yes.” Nyx said venomously.

And with that they walk out the door but not before Nyx said her final words to Twilight.

“Goodbye. Mommy!!!

And with that, Twilight just stood there watching as Nyx got onto the chariot with Princess Celestia, ready to leave for Canterlot.

Yes she felt angry at Nyx during their spat moments ago. And she would have banished her to her room for 1000 years but there was this other feeling she felt.



She didn’t care that the motherfucking Princess herself was threatening her with her livelihood. She was not going to let her take her daughter away from her.

Twilight immediately started running for the chariot. Ready to fight off that Princess Bitchlestia for her daughter.

Princess Celestia noticing Twilight’s running approach and simply just chuckled.

“Freeze Ray!” Princess Celestia shouted and Twilight instantly stood as still as a statue.

Urgh… No!!! Not Again… The cockatrice was a headache enough?

“Well that’s one problem solved.” Princess Celestia thought and with that motioned to the Royal Guards to bring the chariot away. Nyx didn’t even notice her mother running towards her as her eyes were downcast.

“Wait! Take me with you!!!” Spike shouted dashing out the door just as the chariot left. Just a few moments ago he released that this was the prime opportunity for escaping the wrath of the disgruntled purple bitch.

“NOOOOOOOO.” Spike screamed on his knees as the chariot flew away not even noticing that Twilight frozen beside him.

Canterlot Castle. 11:00p.m.

Near Dawn Of A New Day.
-1 Hour Remains-
Nightmare Moon Shall Rise.

“So how does this spell work, Nexus?” Princess Celestia asked as she gingerly placed Nyx in the centre of the ritual circle.

“Do not concern yourself with the mechanics of the spell,” Nexus assured. “All you need to do is stand in the centre and give some of your magic into the surrounding columns.”

Princess Celestia nodded and strode into the centre of the ritual ready to be rid of this burden of a filly. Pouring out her magic into the spell, Celestia immediately felt a large force hit her in the chest with the strength of a hard buck sending her flying across the room.

Princess Celestia was momentarily stunned. When she did recover, however, she scrambled to her hooves and looked in the direction of the spell.

A large group of hooded ponies were inside the ritual ring drawn on the floor, and standing in the very centre was Spell Nexus himself. He looked across the room at Princess Celestia, turquoise eyes dancing in joyous victory.

“For the night eternal, for Equestria’s True Queen!” Nexus called out, before his horn lit up, casting a spell.

There was a blinding light and the hooded ponies that stood there before were no longer there. They have teleported away.

It was then, all too late, that Princess Celestia realized the treachery that thrived in her royal court.

Oh Buck Me.


Nexus and the rest of the Children of Nightmare appeared in the centre of the Everfree Forest. They didn’t have much time. They did not want to get interrupted again while performing their resurrection spell once more.

“Is the tools required ready?” Nexus asked the ponies around him.

The cult members nodded and quickly spread out. Spell Nexus was immediately passed a staff with a moon crescent on tip of it with a red gem in the centre of said crescent. This was the missing item they needed to grow their queen back to her full power and size.

“By the way, where did you get this staff?” Spell Nexus asked curiously.

“Oh I got it from the dumpster. I think it used to be from a Miss Rita Repulsa?”

“Well no matter. It is time…” Spell Nexus concluded.

Lightning struck the Everfree. The Witching Hour was upon them.

All the cult members gathered around the summoning circle. At the centre was Nyx whom was sleeping soundly. The ancient chants began. A chorus of symphonic incantations filled the surroundings. Birds scattered to the sky at the bubble of energy occurring at where the cult stood.

The clock struck 12. Midnight Was Now.

“Magic Wand!! Make this filly grow!!!” Spell Nexus threw the staff and it flew into Nyx. Nyx glowed a bright purple glow and started growing larger. She was already half the size as what she should have been by the first few seconds. Nopony can stop it. The Nightmare has arrived.

“My dear brothers and sisters!!!!” Spell Nexus shouted. “Equestria shall see the last dawn of day and the princesses reign is now at an end. Bow down to our true leader” Spell Nexus elatedly screamed before smiling down at Nyx, who was now in her true form.

I remember....

Nyx first thought as she awoke just as the last of the magic fed into her. She tried standing in her new body or rather her old body. She stretched her wings, and, slowly, she climbed to her hooves, standing taller than she had ever stood before in her life.

Once on her hooves, Nyx looked down at the ponies that resurrected her; they bowed obediently under her gaze, pressing their noses against the ground in respect. And, as Nyx looked upon them, she began to smile… and then she began to laugh. No longer the giggle of a filly. It was a dry chuckle that grew in volume, becoming rather crazed and maniacal.

It was the laughter of somepony who had just realized a cruel and terrible truth.

Nyx finally understood everything. She understood why she woke up in the Everfree Forest when she did. She understood why she had memories of fighting Twilight Sparkle. She understood why she was able to say those lines in that school play so well.

She remembered what she was, who she was.

And she was ready for payback.

The Citizens of Ponyville!!!

were busy sleeping soundly when a crackle of thunder awakened many ponies. Everypony in the town that arose from their sleep, moved outside to see where the noise had come from.

They were greeted to an odd sight.

“Oh, my beloved subjects! Your One. True. QUEEN HAS RETURNED!”

“Princess Luna!!” The Citizens of Ponyville shouted.

“What!? No. I am Nightmare Moon you imbeciles.” Nyx shouted angrily, lightning crackling around her.

“Urm.. Princess? Nightmare Night is months away. Why are you dressed up like this?” Scootaloo asked.

“Ya. Nightmare Night is about 58 episodes and 4 other stories by Penstroke away. I haven’t even finished my 80’s retro skater-slut outfit” Pinkie Pie added on.

Ponies just stared at Pinkie and shook their heads.

“You foals! How dare you speak of me that way? Your ruler stands before you.” Nyx was getting very agitated now.

"I am the true princess of the night. I am Nightmare Moon! I have come before you to cower before me.”

“Yeah after finally getting off her lazy ass playing videogames.” Rainbow Dash muttered.

Snickers were heard all around the crowd.

“I am NOT Princess Luna… Urgh!!” Nightmare Moon let out a scream of frustration and flew away not noticing a certain purple unicorn staring at her, tears in her eyes.

“What complete fucking idiots!” Nyx thought, looking back at Ponyville. “No matter…

She has truly returned.

Dear Princess Celestia,

It’s a trap you imbecile. How could you be so stupid?! I mean you may be centuries or millennia old but I really question your decisions.

Your Overused Meme,
Admiral Ackbar

P.S. All Hail The New Nyx Republic. Screw the Jedi and Siths

Dear Princess Luna,

Are you on your period again or something? We thought you had your last one 1000 years ago?

Your Random Assortments Of Frightened and Confused Background Characters,
The Citizens Of Ponyville

Dear Citizens Of Ponyville,

Actually thy still can go into heat. Why do thee think a red moon happens every now and then? Tis why the proper saying is Once In A RED Moon. Not a Blue Moon. Red Moon.

Your Periodic Ruler,
Princess Luna

P.S. Who is this impersonator of Best Princess? I shall smite thee with thy wii remote.

Dear Big Mac,

Get out of your stupid dresses and get the apple tanks!!! A war is a brewing.

Frantic and War Torn,
Agent Orange Applejack

Past Sins by Pen Stroke: Chapter 11

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Past Sins: Chapter 11: The Castle Of Nightmare OR (Evil Scheme in Progress…)

Dear Sister,

You really fucking dun goofed this time.

First. You let six ponies you don’t know at all instead of the fucking royal Guard to handle…er.. me….

Second. You let your fucking ex-boyfriend; Discord escape and only tell you six puppets about it a day after.
Third. You send your niece, your nephew-in-law and your six puppets as meat shields against King Sombra.

Well your luck had to run out someday dear sister. Your own old personal student Spell Nexus betrayed you. Oh what a surprise. I’m sensing a pattern here. Every student you have taught has become very bad ponies. Maybe you should make Trixie as your next pupil. It might make her a better pony. Reverse psychology and all that shit.

Furthermore, why did you not tell me of this Nyx? Yes I am still young but please. I am a grown mare. Are you afraid of sending somepony to the bloody moon for 1000 years and have to sing a near 7 minute long lullaby every night?

You were willing to separate a sobbing child from her mother. That alone makes you less qualified for leadership than me.

So I, for one, welcome our new Nocturnal Overlords.

Your Annoyed-Assed Sister,
Princess Luna

P.S. I finally figured out how to speak normally. Thank the Internet.

[The Diary of Nyx Nightmare Moon]

Ever since my failed introduction I was quite in a fucking disgruntled mood to the point of delaying my hostile takeover sometime later. Well at least my true subjects that relinquish in my presence to the point of being downright creepy have been useful in building me my new “Castle of Nightmare.” It was originally going to be called Hotel Castle Transylvania but the name was already taken.

Construction of my castle took a damn fucking long time apparently. Maybe they shouldn’t have hired Tetris Corp. to build my castle…

Anyways, Spell Nexus gave me a grand personal tour of my new castle. The Grand Library, Kitchen, Bedchambers, Torture Chamber and Barracks were absolutely magnificent for a powerful pony such as I. Though I do wonder why Spell Nexus told me to stay away from a wardrobe from one of the empty rooms.

I did manage to grab a nice souvenir from the tour. A Twilight Sparkle dummy for me to beat the shit out of and no not because I have the hots for her. These dummies of my ex-mother and honorable aunts were for my army to train on as stand-ins for the real ponies who had previously vanquished me.

I felt ready to face the world. To face the princesses. To my destiny as true governing ruler.

She would be Equestria’s queen, she would overthrow Celestia and Luna, and she… she would make Twilight Sparkle pay.

Nyx Nightmare Moon

Past Sins by Pen Stroke: Chapter 12

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Past Sins: Chapter 12: Mother Of A Nightmare OR (Parenting Sucks)

“I can’t believe Nyx was Nightmare Moon this time. How could somepony so timid be somepony so evil?” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, entering the Golden Oak Library.

“It’s always the cute ones.” Fluttershy muttered under her breath

“I know right? Just look at Applebloom and Sweetie Belle!” Pinkie Pie shouted.

“I beg your pardon?” Rarity and Applejack said in unison staring at Pinkie Pie angrily. Pinkie slowly backed away from them as she forgot to bring her knives with her this time. Where’s a keyblade when you need one?

“Err… Twilight.. need some help here… Please?” Pinkie turned to Twilight whom was looking away from them.

“Sorry, I need a moment.” Twilight trotted up to her bedroom. She did not notice the pleading look on pinkie Pie’s face as the two other ponies cornered her.

“Oh Buck Me.”

One hell of a beat down later…

“Should somepony check on her before she does something stupid?” Applejack asked, throwing her final punch at Pinkie Pie whom was now probably or most likely lying on the floor… dead.

Good thing they still have 1000+ clones of Pinkie at the mirror pool to replace her with. Nopony will notice.

“Maybe we should…” Rarity replied gesturing Applejack to the room above them. Rarity was simply too lazy elegant to go see Twilight, especially after breaking her nail when kicking Pinkie Pie.

“Twilight… Sugarcube, are you awake?” Applejack asked as she entered the bedroom. “Cause you got some explaining to do?” Applejack added on. It was then she noticed that the room was empty. Save for a scribbled note on Twilight’s bed. Apllejack picked up the note and added it to her inventory and read said note.

To whom it may concern,

By the time you read this, I will be long gone. But I guess I’ll at least have to explain things to you fucking idiots. Ya Nyx is Nightmare Moon. What a surprise. I’ll be honest that Applejack of all ponies could not see that. She’s needs to have her Bearer of Harmony license revoked. Why I took care of Nyx? Well ask Rarity. She was in on it. That’s one way to rat out somepony.

But the important thing to me now is that I have to find Nightm Nyx my daughter. When she was taken away from me by Princess Bitchlestia. I was devastated. I do wonder what would have happen if I went to Canterlot with my little Nyxie. I betrayed her. I let her down. I failed.

And I feel guilty for it.

Then I saw her only just a few hours later. Still alive and well announcing her presence to Ponyville. How did she escape? I mean did she hid under a cardboard box and snuck her way out?

I guess it didn’t matter. Cause my dear daughter was back once more. Oh how they grow up so fast. Puberty must have been a bitch for her. No wonder she was so angry during her reintroduction.

But now the search begins. There are also some things I have to say, to get off my chest, and she’s the only one I can say them to. Google Maps was no help in locating her cause she probably set up a cloaking field or something since she’s a wanted fugitive now. The obvious solution was to release my Experiment 158 aka Finder and used him to break into one the suspected cult pony’s home and steal his belongings in order to locate where my daughter resides.

I do not know where I am going, and I doubt that I will return. I don’t expect everypony to understand why I am doing this, but I have to see Nyx even if it is one more time.

Twilight Sparkle

“Horse-feathers!” Applejack cursed while facehoofing. “Twilight, girl, what are you thinkin’?!”

Twilight’s doomed for sure.

Dead OR Alive
Nightmare Moon

Reward: 1600000+ Bananas

-Princess Celestia

An angry gorilla could be heard 1000 miles away screaming at the lost of his banana hoard.

[The Diary of Nyx Nightmare Moon]

Dear Diary,

My dear ex-mother came to visit me today. I don’t know what to say but I’m fucking pissed off.

I mean how dare she? Trotting into my castle to apologize? Get real. Spell Nexus was very usful in capturing Twilight and bringing her to me. I was stunned that she still thought of me as her dear sweet daughter. Such lies. I honestly would have executed her right then and there but I guess some part of me still cared for her. So I let her go… into my fucking new dungeon. And apparently Twilight had a new assistant called Finder? Well Off With It’s Head!!! Somepony better not call PETA.

Honestly I had more important matters to attend to. Like slutting myself up with makeup and new set of diamond armor then going to the nearest brothel. I hear evil girlies get more dick that way. That’s how Trixie manage to survive since her first defeat by Twilight.

Another thing that perturbs my mind is the fact that still as Nightmare Fucking Moon. I still have no cutiemark. Perhaps I should go to the nearest tattoo store. I’m sure Twilight won’t mind.

Despite being at full power, I still feel empty inside. Like I lost something truly important…

Maybe it’s because it’s been almost a week and I still haven’t overthrow the princess. I should really stop procrastinating.

Your Lazy Ruler,
Nyx Nightmare Moon

Dear Spell Nexus,

You Foal! I ask of thee to that if any of the Element Bearers were found, they were to be captured unharmed and my mother Twilight Sparkle brought to me personally. I gave you one simple order and you failed to follow.

I have half the mind to have you executed. DO NOT REPEAT THIS MISTAKE!

Now, your new orders. I would like you to get the best doctor in town; Nurse Redheart to give my mother Twilight proper treatment. And give her proper food that normal ponies like us should normally eat.

Do I make myself clear?

Your "Beloved" Ruler,
Nightmare Moon

P.S. If you see any pink bitch pony wearing a tiara. Just kill the foal with a machine gun.

Finishing writing her letter to Spell Nexus and her diary entry, Nightmare Moon sat in her bedchambers. Moping about what had transpired today. Nightmare Moon began to remove her armor and look herself in the mirror.

“Does Twilight forget who I truly am,” she said to her reflection, “I’ll make sure they’ll remember. I’ll show Twilight I am no longer the cowering filly she found, and Nexus will learn I am not a mare to be trifled with. They will both learn that Celestia’s fear of me and my potential was wise.”

“I am Nightmare Moon,” she told her reflection, “and they will pay for what they’ve done.”

Past Sins by Pen Stroke: Chapter 13

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Past Sins: Chapter 13: All Hail The Queen OR (All Hail The Nyx Republic)

[The Diary of Nyx Nightmare Moon]

Trapping Twilight in my dungeon made winning sooo much easier. At Canterlot Castle the Royal Guard were put on high alert. 24-7. No sleep. You would think achieving success would be something right out of Mission Impossible but frankly what pushovers.

I turned myself into the Pony Of Shadows and in my ghostly form, sneaked through Shining Armor’s shield barrier. No wonder Queen Chrysalis had it easy. Espionage is the last thing ponies expect.

Call me… Agent Double OC.

Next part of the plan was to drug up the guard so they will all fall asleep. Pricking them with a Spinning Wheel was the obvious choice to do. In no time, they were all fast asleep. Possibly dreaming any pornographic thoughts of fucking with the princesses. Damn perverts. But honestly if I did let the Royal Guard fight me. I’ll still win. Their aim is worse than a stormtrooper and with my Children of the Night, I’m unbeatable.

With the Royal Guard out of the way, infiltrating the Royal Chambers was easy as cake. Disguised as Princess Celestia’s maid; Silver Platter, I entered the Royal Chambers. Princess Celestia must have drank too much tea cause she didn’t see through my disguise. Talk about one way to have your last meal. One epic sword fight, and a hoof being chopped off, and I won. I banished Princess Celestia to the sun for 1000 years as revenge for what she had done to me. And when Princess Celestia has truly understood the depths of my suffering, and Equestria is... ashes... then she'll truly know what death is.

Through I did aimed the wrong way during the banishing and in hindsight I’m lucky it will be forever eternal night in Equestria. Otherwise ponies will have to see a Sun Butt for half the day.

Awaiting Princess Luna was very tiresome. What was taking her so long? You would think she would sense her sister in danger. Barge in the Royal Chambers. We fight. And I win. Where is she?!?

Fed up, I decided to go to her instead to find out that she was in her room this whole time. Her back was turned from me and she was playing fucking video games??? Does she think The End of Equestria is less important than digital entertainment? Welcome to the 21st century my mindless subjects!

At least banishing her was a snap. But somehow I couldn’t banish her to the moon. It was apparently already occupied by some brown colt with a propeller hat. So I banished her to Mars instead. I’ve heard they needed more mothers there anyway.

So I basically won… Well that was anti-climatic. The epic showdown of the millennium was a complete bomb. Where were the fucking sword fights? The fucking magic spells flying everywhere? Where was the Seven Nation Army? Were they destroyed when the Fire Nation attacked? This is the best these weak-minded ponies could do?

Oh well I guess I’m keeping the maid outfit as a personal prize though. It’ll be fun to play with later.

So to rub salt on wounds. I had a grand celebration of my victory in Ponyville. Only for the party to be interrupted by the other Element Bearers. Or yeah forgot about them…

They apparently used Trixie as a replacement for the Element of Magic? They’re joking right? They’re joking. Didn’t they do that with Spike when Discord returned and look how well that ended up. No wonder Twilight looks down on them so much.

So basically I stole the Element of Rape Harmony, humiliated Trixie with my better acting skills and then spared them to live out their miserable lives. To live to see the humiliation of their defeat. And so The Nighmare Has Begun. Can’t wait to tell the folks at Villian Pub about this.

Maybe I should go to Hollyhoof and make a movie about my spectacular victory in the conquest for Equestria.

I’ll call it Pony Wars: The Horse Awakens.

Till then, I have to deal with the rebellion near Trottingham. It’s just 300 soldiers… What are they going to do? Buck me off a cliff?

Your Victorious New Tyrant,
Nyx Nightmare Moon

Dear Queen Chrysalis,

The enemy of my enemy is also my friend. So will you help me in the rebellion against Nightmare Moon?

Action-Obsessed Princess,
Princess Cadence

Dear Big Mac,

What did I tell you about getting the apple tanks? Now your stupid cross play fantasies has cost us the war.

Your Pissed Off Sister,

Dear Merchant,

One Alicorn Amulet Please.


Dear Nyx,

You. Me. Town Hall Now!

Ready for Action,
Nightmare Rarity

To Nightmare Rarity,

I’ll have Seconds.

Midnight Sparkle

Dear Princess Celestia,

What the buck happen to Equestria?

Sunset Shimmer

Dear Nightmare Moon,

I’d give your reign less than a week before it falls completely apart.


To Miss Twilight Sparkle,

Please Have This Signed and returned once you escape Prison

-Miss Cheerilee

P.S. I hear Lavender is the new black

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

Welcome to the Equestrian Dungeons- the most comfortable low-budget prison in Equestria. On behalf of all the staff here we wish you a happy and relaxing visit.

Do not try to use a Sock Mace to escape as you'll be put in prison confinement for 1 day and no more.

Officer Fragile

Past Sins by Pen Stroke: Chapter 14

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Past Sins: Chapter 14: Once a Crusader OR (Cutie Mark Minions)


A week since Eternal Darkness … A TON of shit has happened since then. Initially, the ponies of Equestria thought that it was just another stupid prank by Trolestia like that time she cried out to the public Tirek has escaped Tartarus. Well one week in and ponies soon realize Nyx Nightmare Moon’s Return was the real deal.

Hopefully the Tirek escaping Tartarus was still a prank…

With the new era of Nightmare Moon’s reign, many ponies are unsure at how to react to these phenomenal changes.

Some are terrified like The Flowers Ponies of Ponyville whom reacted by fainting onto the ground screaming: “The Horror!!! THE HORROR!!!”

Some are rejoicing? Like a certain pink party pony that has since set up a large party in Canterlot singing Thriller all night long. Guess ponies really do hate Celestia…

When approached Pinkie Pie commented, “I wished this party would last all night long!! Oh Wait!! It is Eternal Night like forever. Yippee!!”

Most creatures outside Equestria have now renamed Equestria “The Night Zone”. Cause it’s fucking dark out! Nothing but floating eyeballs all around screaming “Who turned out the lights!” Thousands upon thousands of ponies have been reported injured due to slight disability from the lack of vision. Household activities can now be fatal.

“Visual Disability? I don’t see any problem with it…” says a derpy eyed mailmare.

This lack of vision came to a point where ponies started hallucinating that the moon is inching closer onto Equestria with a wicked smile on its surface.

Meanwhile, the Job Industry has also faced many changes.

Nightclubs are all the rage now so prostitution has increased rather quickly.

Jobs in Astronomy have also skyrocketed with the newfound opportunities of seeing the starry night 24-7. One pony in particular by the name of Vixen One Ear is planning on painting a portrait called Starry Night that will most likely be critically acclaimed by many Canterlot Nobles.

The Farming Industry has benefited more with the sales of Twittermites in a jar coming at an all time high. Thus overbreeding of said creatures is in abundance. Scientists have claimed that this overpopulation of Twittermites can lead to the extinction of the firefly population where some name this event The Grave of the Fireflies.

However, despite all the increase in some job industries, jobs as Miners has dwindled rather drastically especially in the region of District 12 cause you know the saying: “Don’t Mine At Night.”
And thus, the Gem Industry has been severely affected as a fashionista has whined pointed out.

There’s even been complains coming out of the blue by security workers at local Pizzerias everywhere. This angered fueled uproar has lead to these security workers forming riots outside Nightmare Moon's Castle screaming “Come On! 6a.m.!”

Why they are doing this? Nopony knows.

Weather reports have also shown that more manmade wild fires are happening everywhere. Reasons leading to this are due to ponies desperate enough to have a little bit more light and warmth in their lives once more. Sadly, warmth and light are short-lived as fires are immediately washed away by Tidal Waves, Cyclones and Tsunamis caused by the standstill of the Moon’s stationary orbit. This have left many soaking wet.

Well so much for that idea.

With the persistent lack of the warmth from the sun, Eternal Blizzards are more frequent now. The Windigos are sure making a big comeback since first Hearth’s Warming Eve. Pitch Black also tried to make a great comeback by rampaging to pony’s dreams but Krueger beat him to the punch.

Thankfully we ponies rarely sleep these days as a rainbow haired pegasus explains, “You would think Eternal Night might mean more nap time. Sadly that’s not the case.”

Research has shown that the Timberwolf population has increased very rapidly since Eternal Night. This might not bring much concern as they stay in their territory of the Everfree but their noise pollution from all that howling at the moon kept many residents of ponyville awake at night. EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. DAY.

You would think in all this chaos Discord would have escaped once more.

Many have tried very strange methods to bring back the sun. Either by, pleading to Nightmare Moon, contact the Humane Torch to be their new sun or even tried throwing a great big fireball from a catapult onto the Moon’s surface and see if it sticks there long enough to be their new sun.

I mean we reporters tried contacting our friends’ rooster dad to cock-a-doodle-doo the sun back but she kept saying she’s not a chicken!

So now the obvious solution is for us news reporters to infiltrate Nightmare Moon’s castle and try convincing our friend to stop this madness. As our teacher suggested.


Next Issue: Night Vision Potion Scam by the Flim Flam Brothers. Claiming their potion prevents night blindness when it instead was actually a blindness potion.

[The Diary of Nyx Nightmare Moon]

This whole week has been the best days of my life. I honestly should have grown up sooner.

First off, I celebrated my righteous victory with lots of booze. Specifically with drops of moonshine and mugs of hard cider. I must have partied really hard cause the next day I woke up on the floor holding a teddy bear with a black rapper in my bathtub. Best. Night. EVER!!!

Next up was redecorating my new bedroom in Canterlot, I had to remove all these carrot-shaped plastics strewn about Celestia’s bed chambers. There was even a cupboard filled with ponies that seemed to be bind and gagged. Throwing them all into the incinerator, I fitted my new armor wardrobe into the cardboards, transferring all the books in the royal library into my room, placing my large Twilight Plushie on my bed as my personal punching bag and a large mirror worthy of a Queen such as myself. Though the mirror doesn’t seem to show my reflection and somehow my hoof can go through it.

Celestia dammed you Bloody Mary!!

Finally, on my agenda as new empress, I had to deal with a lot of political bullshit. Set up some stupid new laws, backstab my own people, and crush any stupid idealist set in the “old ways” of admiring the sun. You know… like what all politicians do these days.

The past week more or less has been all about transferring the power over Equestria from the Royal Pony Sisters to me. The Ponies of My Cult were put into important positions of power.And of course the stupid nobles were acting all high and mighty about how I was disrespecting their “Royal Blood Lineage” but in the end were real pushovers. Just execute whomever that annoys me. Easy solution.

There was still more resistance from the Apple Families since they have such great experience in the old war days but resistance was futile especially when I kidnap their children, though my magnificent singing voice, into my garden of shadows.

I mean what are they gonna do now? Send a plague of locusts?

Thankfully, more ponies are now joining the Dark Side every single day. This has become even faster when Spell Nexus participated into spreading my “blessing” around. In fact, Prince Shining Armor has now joined our cause as Captain of My Guard and is now hunting his own wife whom is part of the resistance. Either he did this willingly or he was brainwashed again. It’s hard to tell with his one-dimensional character trait.

I still visit my moth- Twilight Sparkle at the dungeons every now and then. She still thinks I’m not truly happy ruling over Equestria. Hmph! As if. I’m perfectly happy being isolated from my old friends, having to deal with political shit every 5 seconds and being bossed around by Spell Nexus despite the fact that I’m the motherfucking Queen of Equestria

See! I’m perfectly happy.

So I deal with my happiness by gorging myself in the finest food by my personal chef; Seafood Dinner. The best chef in all of Equestria can’t follow simple orders to cook a simple celery soup and daffodil sandwich but instead I get a fucking buffet to fatten myself up with.

I bet one of those blue dungeon rats can cook better this deaf bastard.

And Today’s Special? I find three fillies on my dessert plate. What. The. Fuck. Nightmare Moon does not eat ponies. Who the fuck thought of that idea? I prefer candy thank you very much.

Hey wait a moment here. These are my old minions! What the hell are they doing here? Jumping around on the bed like a bunch of brain deficient monkeys. Then they asking annoying fucking questions like “How did I get so big?” or “Why I still don’t have my butt-sticker?” or “How can you still walk with fifty tons of makeup on your face?” or even “If I could bring the sun back?”

Was this what I was like when I was their age a week ago? I somehow fucking hate myself energetic and cheerfully annoying self now because of this. Was I mad at them for coming here? No. Furious? Hell Yes. They ate my fucking dessert!! Maybe I should become cannibalistic and eat my minions.

These ideas, however, were put on hold when Spell Nexus barged in. He immediate demanded to execute my old minions almost immediately. Urm.. Helloo? Who does he think he is? Does he forget I’m the fucking Queen. I’ll do what I want. So, I sent them to the dungeon. What was he going to do about it? I could execute him at a moment’s notice. Furthermore, he somehow allowed three fillies to enter to my royal chambers despite a ton of guards standing in the way. The nerve of him. I should get him demoted.

A dessert-deprived filly ruler,

Nightmare Moon sat there, staring at her recent diary entry, with a frown upon her face.

The CMC were no longer her minions. But they were still her minions. Perhaps she was being a little too harsh.

Nightmare Moon stood up from her bed and moved over to her writing desk. There, she began writing a letter very quickly and rolled the letter into a scroll before sending it to dungeons via magic.

Meanwhile, in the dungeons…

Twilight Sparkle was pacing back and forth in the dungeons, creating a rather large straight depression on the floor about 2 metres in depth, when a scroll suddenly appeared out of thin air, startling Twilight.

Curious, Twilight moved over to the scroll, opened it with her hoof, and began to read.


My old minions tried sneaking into the castle, somehow undetected, to my bed chamber. They are now currently being taken down to the dungeons and will be placed in the same cell as yours soon.

I may not be their leader anymore but I do not want to see them get hurt in the Eternal Cold that is outside these castle walls. I rather see other ponies achieve suffering like Diamond Tiara for instance.

I know I have no right to ask favors from you at this point, but please do this for me

I will probably free them in a few weeks anyway, but, until then, I must ask that you try and keep them safe. Have fun.

-Nightmare Moon

P.S. This letter will now self destruct in 30 seconds.

Just as Twilight finished the letter, the letter exploded onto her face just as the door to the dungeon opened with the guards throwing 3 familiar fillies in the same room as her and slamming the door shut.

"Urgh! That hurt." Apple Bloom moaned rubbing her head with her hoof.

“Well. That was a bad idea…” Scootaloo muttered, looking around the dungeon walls.

“Urm… where do we use the bathroom?” Sweetie Belle asked, crossing her back legs.

Meanwhile, back in the royal chambers…

Nightmare Moon had just sent the scroll via magic when Twilight and Spike landed into her bedchambers in yet another alternate timeline for them.

"Starliiiiight Gliiiimer!!!" Twilight yelled. "I will fucking find you and murder your pathetic life!!!"

"Didn’t she already beat you like a million times already?" said Spike.

Twilight stared at Spike for a moment before smacking him in the face very hard.

"Oh shut up, Fax Machine! Now… what kind of fucked up alternate timeline did we land into this time?"


Twilight turned her head to the source of the sound and stared in shock at Nightmare Moon who was looking at her with wide eyes.

Immediately, Twilight’s horn glowed, activating the time-travelling spell once again. As she grabbed Spike and prepared to jump into the portal, she just said one word.


Dear Big Mac,

What the FUCK!! You didn’t check our tribute of apples to Nightmare Moon to keep her off our backs for our little sister?!? You know she and her friends chase trouble like it’s a game of tag.

An overbearing sister,

Dear CMC,

Actually, I already escaped. I’m just taking a vacation from villainy. Too much work and too little payoff. Little Old Nyxie seem to handle tyranny quite chaotically so I’m taking the season off. See you in Season 3 Episode 10.

Your chaotic villain,

P.S. I was the one that was actually causing all the noise pollution at Ponyville. Sorry, foursome habits. I just love howling at the moon.

Past Sins by Pen Stroke: Chapter 15

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Past Sins: Chapter 15: Missing Joy OR (When All You Have Is Memories)

[The Diary of Nyx Nightmare Moon]

It’s been a day since my minions were imprisoned and I’m still in a very foal mood. Why? I’m still the only grown up in Equestria without stupid butt sticker.

Furthermore, Spell Nexus was no help at all. He's a complete imbecile. He suggested I try getting a cutiemark in ruling? Ruling?!? Its official. Spell Nexus is useless as both an adviser and in bed.

I mean what does a cutiemark in politics look like anyway? A knife backstabbing the national flag? Cause that's pretty much how the nobles act. Makes me wonder how the fuck he got his cutiemark. Using poster colour paint and makeup most maybe...

In all honesty, I really do miss all the chaotic stuff my minions and I did. At least my minions could provide better suggestions on cool cutiemarks to get.

But I guess I can't dwell on the past now. It's just too late for me to go back to the way things were.

And just to put an emphasis on my misery I had my personal musical composer; Hoovethoven, played a magnificent symphony with that enlarged piano of his. Though playing that piano seemed to have sprung up some traps around the castle. Where in Starswirl's Beard did he get that piano anyway?

And just as I was getting into a better mood Spell Nexus barges in. Now he expects me to try getting a cutiemark in paper work? What the hell!!! I have half the mind to give him an hour long rant at my frustrations of ruling. I have little interest in laws, giving speeches, or speaking with nobles I do not give a heck about. Gee I'm now starting to sound like Twilight.

Anyways, a cutie mark in paper work? You're kiding? You're kiding, right? That’s Mayor Mare’s job and I don't want to do that for the rest of my immortal life. It was already hell the moment Spell Nexus returned my memories. I rather spent the rest of my life on the moon or maybe even Tartarus. At least it's warmer there.

But of all things I soon found out I had no choice at all as providing another one of those stupid Q and A sessions with my subjects can help get them to be more agreeable. Here's to hoping it's not as boring as I thought it will be.

Your Miserable Alicorn,
Nightmare Moon

[The Diary of Nyx Nightmare Moon]

So it wasn't boring. It was 1000 times worse. I officially hate my life now. Why did Spell Nexus had to cast that summoning spell? I would rather not exist. I was completely and utterly BORED. School was more fun than this. School?!? Is this why Princess Celestia became a troll? To preserve her sanity cause she was bored off her fat-ass flank?? That... seems to explain a few things. Like why she sets up the grand galloping gala every month to just mess with ponies? Perhaps I should hire Pinkie Pie as my court jester… That would make these sessions so much more interesting. Nothing but Junk Mail, Junk Mail and Junk Mail about pleading me to return the sun. Please. That's your problem.

I was pretty much about to throw in the towel except when Sweetie Belle's parents came asking to me to release their child. This was perhaps the only worthwhile thing that has happened so far. I do wonder why didn't Applebloom and Scootaloo's parents came to ask me as well? Oh wait. They're dead. Never mind. Sadly, I said no to them. I get that they want their child back but it's pretty much sub-zero out there with Eternal Night and all. But you know what? I'm getting tired of the night’s cold and darkness. I'll bring the sun back. Let there be light. Let's make Equestria great again.

Though controlling the sun was rather sloppy so I may have caused the eclipse. March 9, 2016 1001 CE (Celestia's Era) now marks the first solar eclipse in Equestria.

Also, it took Spell Nexus and his crew 10 minutes to come running to my aid thinking Celestia has returned. If Rainbow Dash was my right-hand mare she would find me 10 seconds flat.

So ditching my diamond armour and Spell Nexus, I decided to see how the ponies were reacting to the sun's dear return. I was hoping to be loved and adored by my little ponies but instead they are celebrating my defeat?


If you foals have not notice, Celestia is still stuck on the sun. She's bloody right there up in the sky for all to see! I am not defeated! I was actually being nice by bring back the sun? Is that really so hard to believe? Do they not forget Nyx the kind hearted filly that was me? But instead I am mocked by ponies once more.

In summary, today has been the worst Day and Night ever.

I really need to find a way to make myself feel better. Perhaps I could always throw Fax Machine and his dragon friends in the dungeons? That’ll keep Twilight and my minions occupied since they can entertain themselves with some Dungeons and Dragons.

No..... That still doesn't change the fact that I'm miserable. I resent Nightmare Moon. A Queen who is hated. I miss being Nyx. A filly who was well beloved...

And I miss Twilight...No wait.... I miss my dear mother who was always there for me. Oh, it’s so sad to think about the good times, You and I. Cause, baby, now we have bad blood. It used to be mad love. And now that I'm without your kisses. I’ll be needing stitches. I miss my mother's warmth at my side in the cold winter night...

I guess I was so busy drowning in my misery I didn't notice somepony approached me. It was Twist? And she was asking if I was okay? It was nice to see somepony caring about me after so long... Wonder how I should thank her? I know!!!! I'll make Twist the new leader of the CMC. Seems appropriate. She has a cutie mark and they don't. Oh Foals. I envy them. Not a care in the world. I can't believe I actually missed that. Maybe what I really need is to do. Try experiencing my foal hood once more. Maybe I should try crusading? Yeah. That could work. I should try getting a cutiemark for dream walking. If Princess Luna could do it why not I?

I'm curious though? What does the Princess of Dreams even dream about? Magic sheep? You know what? Nevermind. Perish the thought. I'm just going to have some fun crusading!!!

A renewed alicorn,
Nightmoon Moon Nyx


Dear Nightmare Moon,

Why is my Auntie’s Plot on the Sun?

Prince Blueblood

Dear Diary,

Great! If Celestia is back that means Twilight's out of jail. Great. Just Great! I was really hoping my vacation time would be longer.

A very annoyed dragon,

[The Diary of Nightmare Moon Nyx ]

Dream-walking while fun was probably not the best idea I had. I have not condemned my mom's mindscape is a dream hazard zone. (I never knew pony's limbs could bend that way.) But anyways. After that failed attempt of getting a cutiemark. I started to feel even more homesick.

So I had Spell Nexus get a certain book from the Golden Oak Library. That book was of utmost importance to me because it was my treasure book. The book was hollowed out inside and in it was full of my Trinkets; my old crusader cape, my blue ribbon, my kazoo I named Katie, a large hairbrush, and many more. These were my treasures. These were my memories.

Somehow looking at them does not make me feel. I feel even more terrible...

And now I question myself: "What can I do now?" I can't just go back to being Nyx if I return the princesses. I'd be sent to the moon for all I know. What can I do? How can I escape my past sins?

A frightened filly,

Bonus Chapter: Past Sins by Pen Stroke: Chapter 15.5

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher
Past Sins: Bonus Chapter 15.5: Letters From A Disgruntled Equestria

Dear Nightmare Moon,

I'm in need of assistance. I can't sell my clocks anymore since its Eternal Night all the time so I'm running out of business.

Also the Old Clock Tower is in need of repair since lightning struck it years ago.

The Doctor Emmett Brown AKA Time Turner

Dear Time Turner,

Just build yourself a timemachine and travel back in the past to sell your clocks. Problem solved.

Nightmare Moon

Dear Nightmare Moon,

Are you going to eat us next Nightmare Night?

Pipsqueak the Pirate

Dear Ponies of Equestria,

I DO NOT eat ponies. I am insulted. I hereby abolish Nightmare Night. Nightmare Night and Nyx is no more.

An Angry Alicorn,
Nightmare Moon

Dear Nightmare Moon,

The noise pollution from the Everfree Forest is so fucking annoying. can you put a stop to it.

A sleep deprived Pegasus,
Rainbow Dash

Dear Rainbow Dash,

*Loads Shotgun*

Time to go Timberwolve hunting.

Trigger Happy,
Nightmare Moon

Dear Nightmare Moon,

How are we gonna survive the zombie apocalypse without sunlight for our peashooters?

-Crazy Dave of the PvZ Seed Co.

Dear Crazy Dave,

Just find Time Turner and get in his time machine. There's plenty of room there so it's about time you get on out of here.

Nightmare Moon

Dear Nightmare Moon,

I wish to start a settlement at the ends of Equestria.

Your Innocent villager,
Starlight Glimmer

Dear Starlight Glimmer,

Sure. Why not? I don't see this being a problem in the future anytime soon.

Nightmare moon

P.S. So here's a map. Your new plot of land required to set up your village should be underneath the A in Equestria

Dear Nightmare Moon,

Your Homework was overdue days ago.

Your wonderful teacher,
Ms. Cheerilee

Dear Ms. Cheerilee,

Sorry. Cerberus ate my homework.

Nightmare Moon

Dear Nightmare Moon,

Maybe instead of the Purge that Tyrantlestia does every year you could set up a death arena to crush the resistance of ponies opposing your rule. The odds would definitely be in your favor.

Suzanne Collins

Dear Suzanne Collins,

Sorry. No Thank You. I read your books. I know what happens to President Snowdrop in the end. Thanks but no thanks.

Nightmare Moon

Dear Nightmare Moon,

So can you return our daughter to us?

Sweetie Belle's Parents

Dear Sweetie Belle's Parents,

Sorry but no.

Nightmare Moon

P.S. If it's any consolation, at least your house won't burn down every time Sweetie Belle tries to cook.

Past Sins by Pen Stroke: Chapter 16

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Past Sins: Chapter 16: To Harden a Soft Heart OR (Stone Cold Heart)

Dear Pinkie Pie,

Ny berthdey perty tis cuming suun. Cen you try tu send Nyx en invitetion?

Soon to be a year older,

Dear Twist,


Your hyped up party pony,
Pinkie Pie

P.S. How does wearing braces in your teeth affect how you speak in writing?

Outside Nightmare Moon's Castle...

The entrance to the Castle of Nightmare was well guarded by about 10 soldiers with 5 flanking each side of the entrance. All was peaceful. That is until....


Pinkie just appeared out of nowhere. Let the chaos begin.

"Halt! Who goes there?"

"It's a me. Pinkie Pie! And I'm here to see Nyx."

“Seize HER!”


“Halt… In the name of Nightmare Moon!”

“Catch her! CATCH HER!!!!!”



Haha giggle....

[The Diary of Nyx]

I was busy raising the sun again and was going back to sleep when I heard an annoying commotion happening outside my castle. Urgh! What part of private property do ponies not understand? How am I to ever get my beauty sleep?

I look out my balcony to see Pinkie Pie giggling and bouncing around screaming fun fun fun multiple times around my defeated guards as if it was all a game. I'll admit. I got a laugh out of my guards misery. Oh Pinkie. Never Change.

Though I do question why she wanted to visit me of all things to which she gave me a letter inviting me to Twist's birthday party.

Urm what's a birthday? I never had one before considering I was only "born" a few months ago but I do at least know what a party is. Sadly I cannot attend cause I need to discipline my guards for their incompetence.

If it's any consolation I'll just send Twist my minions in a box for her birthday. Wrapped, bound and gagged. So make a wish, it's your birthday Twist.

Now... On to disciplining my guards. Now where did I put my toys.

The one and only mistress,

Dear Nyx’s Guards,

Thanks for that fun game of tag. I’ll visit again next time. Consider yourselves my new playmates.

Happy to make a friend,
Pinkie Pie

To Nyx’s Guards,

Don’t feel so ashamed about losing to that pink annoyance. She messed with us too.

Used and Abused,
Maniac's Guards

Spell Nexus was furious as he trotted down the spiral staircase to the dungeons.

Just what was Nightmare Moon doing? Not her god forsaken duties that's what!

And so, that was why he was here, standing outside the cell of a certain purple unicorn. As he approached the dungeon, Twilight Sparkle saw him and immediately stood up.

"Well if it isn't Spell Nexus. Shouldn't you be going for a convention somewhere in that outfit of yours?"

"You infuriate me, Twilight Sparkle."

"I know. Anyways, why in Celestia are you here? Letting me go?"

Spell Nexus reaction to her remark was a cold, hateful glare.

"Hmm.. Guess not."

“This is all your fault!” Nexus seethed.

“Well that's wonderfully specific,” Twilight sassed. “And just what is all my fault'?”

"Nightmare Moon is neglecting her duties as ruler and does not pay heed to my advice," Spell Nexus screamed. "Furthermore, she just released her own prisoners!"

"Hmm... I don’t get what was wrong with Nyx to you, Spell Nexus. She put three innocent fillies, bound and gagged I might add, into a box with no air holes on it! That's pretty much Nightmare Moon Material." Twilight said thoughtfully.

"But not listening to an idiot like you? Well, she's definitely becoming wise beyond her years. I’m so proud of my daughter!" Twilight added on.

"Nightmare Moon is NOT your daughter!" Spell Nexus with venom in his voice.

"Tell that to her then. She'll disagree." Twilight replied smirking.

Spell Nexus closed his eyes in frustration, gritting his teeth to hold back more of his anger. Then a thought occurred to him.

"Hmmm... Perhaps Nightmare Moon needs to be reminded who she is instead of who she was." Spell Nexus said in realisation.

“And I know just the solution to that,” His horn glowed as he clicked open the lock on the cell.

Twilight stared back defiantly as Spell Nexus moved slowly towards her.

"You do realise if you hurt me, Nyx will-”

“Oh, you misunderstand, Twilight Sparkle. I have no intention of hurting you. In fact, what I am planning will be much much worse.” Spell Nexus interrupted Twilight, upon finishing his sentence, a dark shadowy tendril escaped Spell Nexus.

As the Nightmare engulfed Twilight Sparkle. Nopony could hear her scream.

[The Diary of Nyx]

So today I decided to visit dear mother again and boy was I shocked! She tried stabbing me? For crying out loud, does she not remember that I have my diamond armour on?

But I do wonder why she did this? It was either

a) she doesnt love me anymore


b) being in that cell for a few weeks has finally made her bonkers.

Pretty sure it's the latter option.

Great. Just great. Now I feel guilty for this happening to her and so I instruction Spell Nexus to take care of her.

That was my first mistake cause hours later she was about to be hanged on the gallows. Was my instructions not clear Nexus? I said to take care of Twilight. Not kill her?!?!

And what does Ponyville's residents do? Why they do a roast of my dear mother in celebration of course! Motherfucking really? What did she ever do to them? Equestria is a land based on the concept of friendship and yet.... YET!! These ponies are chanting and cheering for the immediate death of my own mother. And so I saved her. Yeah right I did! She took care of me for crying out loud. She must have some good in her.

If very little.

And now Spell Nexus has officially been put on my list of people to execute very slowly and painfully cause baby I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream.

Ready for revenge,

Dear Spell Nexus,

Don't worry about me escaping my execution. That noose won't be empty for long. When Nyx finds you, you're fucked.

Free to insult anypony,
Twilight Sparkle

Past Sins by Pen Stroke: Chapter 17

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Past Sins: Chapter 17: Tainted Blessing OR Tantabus do your worst!!!

[Diary of Nyx]

Dear Diary,

I was left with my thoughts when I left dear mother behind and by Celestia was I peeved. I want Spell Nexus to suffer for what nearly happened to my mother and so that's why I summoned him to my royal chambers to give him the beat down of his entire lifetime. Then a sudden thought occurred to me... Mom mentioned that the last thing she remembered before being brainwashed was a black tendril coming out of Spell Nexus' dirty mouth.

Could he have been infected by some brain parasite all this time? Yeerk! That would certainly explains his bland personality.

And now begs the question; just where did I put that sledge hammer?

A curious queen,


[Diary of Nyx]

Okay so after a couple of whacks I manage to get that black tendril out of Spell Nexus and do you know what created my dear followers to begin with? The Tantabus; a being that was a shred of Princess Luna used to be. Basically, a part of me... my arrogant sense of superiority, my hatred of everypony, my self-loathing of the Royal Sisters, and my thirst for vengeance.

And now I want to fucking MURDER this little piece of shit!!!! It's the reason for all my fucked up misery? EVERYPONY HATES ME NOW!!!! Without it, I could have gone on being Nyx; a happy little filly BUT NOW I CAN NEVER BE HAPPY BECAUSE OF IT!!! And it… it... IT TOOK THAT AWAY FROM ME!!!! And why? JUST WHY DID IT DO THIS!?! Just so I can be the queen it wants me to be? HELL NO!!! But no more... never will I be that type of pony anymore mostly and I'm not letting this thing hurt anypony AGAIN!!!! Not my friends, not my family and especially not my dear mother!


I'm gonna show it who's queen around here! I’ll start off by keeping the Tantabus as my new pet. I’ll even give it an awful name. How about Larry? That'll show it! With that out of the way. What do I have to do next? Why dealing with the task of unbrainwashing all my followers of course!!! Oh screw you Tantabus! It's times like this that I wished I could control the Elements of Harmony...

A fed-up filly,

Meanwhile, at a large mansion on the outskirts of Ponyville, Diamond Taira sat alone on a swing in her front yard, her eyes were completely focused on the floor beneath her.


The past few weeks had been complete hell for Diamond Taira. In fact, it had been the worst experience for the filly in her whole entire lifetime!!! When Nyx... When Nightmare Moon came back, every pony in town hated her more than ever before if that was even possible. They seem to believe that she's to blame for Nyx being who she was now. By treating Nightmare Moon badly as Nyx some how was the sole reason for Equestria to become Night Eternal? What kind of logic is that?? But worst of all was losing her dad to Nightmare Moon. Was humiliating her not enough? Did Nyx had to take her dad too?

She would complain about it in Nightmare Moon's face but being hanged at the gallows is the last thing she wants happening to her.

She missed her dad...

Suddenly hoofsteps were heard from the entrance of the front yard. Diamond Tiara just sighed.

"Silver Spoon if that's you, just leave me alone..." Diamond Taira started to say as she tilted her head upwards...

"Dad???" Diamond Tiara said stunned, staring back at her father whom was staring back at her.

"DAAADDDYY!!!!" Diamond Taira screamed, jumping into the warm embrace of her father and Filthy Rich hugged back. Very tightly.

It was also at this instant Spoiled Rich poked her head out the front door. "Diamond Tiara, sweetie, dinner's read-" she started to say only to stopped midway to stare at her husband whom was hugging their daughter.

"Rich... Honey... is that you?"

"Yes Darling... I'm back. Nightmare Moon released m-" he started to say before being slapped square in his face. Filthy Rich looked back stunned.

"Darling... what was that fo-"

"Oh don't you honey me mister!!!" Spoiled Rich snarkily replied back.

"But Darlin-" Filthy Rich muttered.

"You left your wife and daughter while you stayed inside that fancy castle!!!"

"Honey please. You don't understand. I was under mindcon-"

"I'm not hearing any of your excuses!!! I'm filing divorce papers." With that Spoiled Rich took Diamond Taira inside and slammed the door in Filthy Rich's' face.

At the same time, all across Equestria, the former members of the Crazed Cultists reunited with their friends and families that they left behind as a tired queen sat upon her throne in her castle of shadows.

Meanwhile at Zecora's hut...

"For the last time, I'll make this clear

While I allowed you to hide in here

I would rather chop off my head

Then have sex with you in bed

So by Celestia’s sake Twilight dear

I will stab you if you come near." Zecora muttered angrily as she brandish a spear, backing away slowly.

"Oh come on Zecora! You know you want to give this piece of purple pony a taste." Twilight said licking her lips.


"Oh shit!!! Hide me!!!" Twilight said as she dove under the rug.

Zecora approached the front door and whisper to the the door before her, "If you're the guards after the wanted mare.

She's hiding under the rug over there."

"I ain't no guard." A voice with a southern accent replied back annoyingly.

Zecora sighed then opened the door.

“Howdy there, Zecora.” Applejack said welcomingly then she looks at the bulge under the rug. "Twilight..."

"Applejack..." Twilight says back lifting her head from under the rug.

"What in tartarus are you doing here?"

"I was here to tell Zecora what has been happening around Ponyville these past few days. I never expected to see your bitchy ass here." Applejack said through gritted teeth as she passed a parchment to Zecora.

"Oh fuck you asshole!" Twilight shouted.

"Have about you shut you're trap!!"

"Or how about yo-"

"BE QUIET YOU TWO!!!" Zecora screamed loudly already past the point of patience. Twilight and Applejack just stared back blankly as Zecora calmed her breath down and then Zecora approached Applejack.

"Is what this say true?" Zecora questioned.

"Ya callin me a liar?" Applejack replied with an arched eyebrow.

"What are you talking about?" Twilight asked.

"Here Twilight, look and see,

at what Nightmare Moon decree." Zecora added on showing Twilight the parchment Applejack gave her.

Twilight stared blankly at the parchment.

To the citizens of Equestria,

Ruling sucks!!! Therefore, I hereby strip myself from this shit of a position and free Celestia and Luna so that they can do it instead.

Your ex-ruler,

Twilight smirked at the parchment.

That's my girl.

Past Sins by Pen Stroke: Chapter 18

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Past Sins: Chapter 18: A Mare Against Monsters OR (Monster Hunting Season)

[Diary of Nyx]

A week... It has been a week since I cured my ex-followers. A week since I made that the announcement of me stepping down across Equestria. A week all by my lonesome. A week of debating whether was it really such a good idea to release the princesses. If they do return, I won't know what will happen to me after that. Banishment? Execution? Maybe I should start planning to hightail out of here to the human world through the mirror portal? Then again... that would mean leaving my dear mother behind.

What am I going to do!?! I can't do it! I can't just release them? Can I? Should I? I don't know!!!!


It has been a fucking rough crazy week...

My thoughts were interrupted when someone entered my castle. I figured it was my mom again since these past few days she has been entering my castle in search of me. I didn't dare approach her as I was still ashamed of what nearly happened to her. And also for that fact that she set off some of the booby traps in my castle and I do not want to be grounded for life for that. Seriously, who the fuck made the schematics of my castle? To my utmost surprise, it was Zecora, instead of my mother, muttering about how monsters are about to invade Ponyville.

Urm... Who cares? The very idea of monsters from the Everfree snacking on Ponyville's residents would certainly be entertaining to watch since they did absolutely nothing to stop my mom's near execution. But... then again I did like timberwolf hunting... oh what the heck!!! I'll helped! Heading to Ponyville I had Zecora evacuate all the citizens to my castle so they can witness me defend their backwater town. The strategy that I went for was the ye old divide and conquer strategy by dividing myself into a dozen or so duplicates to fight off those monsters. Honestly, that was the most dumb idea I ever thought. I felt my mind divided into multiple places at once. Is this what it's like to be schizophrenic? By Celestia I pity those foals...

The real annoying part was what my clones did...

Firstly, a clone of me saved Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon? Why!?! Let them get gobbled up. Secondly, another clone in all its idiocy nearly became dog food if it weren't for Applejack saving me. Thirdly, clones apparently can't tell obvious differences between a pony and a live sized doll. Monsters also fail to see this difference as well. As it turns out, Mom asked Pinkie Pie to be a distraction (most probably hoping to get rid of her once and for all) so Pinkie decided to use the life sized dummies of herself from the castle and play pranks on the onslaught of monsters. I seriously thought that those dolls were just the clones of Pinkie tied to a stake... After that I had to save my teacher and hopefully she'll give me less homework for it... Then after that another idiot clone of me nearly ended up becoming monster chow if Fluttershy didn't grew some balls right then and there and faced the monster attacking me head on. Best. Moment. Ever.

By this point in time I was already on a 25 kill streak. The prizes I got from this event are definitely going on my trophy case. Then there was the final monster left in Ponyville that I was about to face. I pulled myself together figuratively and literally but by then I was both very tired and very injured so I said screw it and struck it with a bolt of lightning. Anyone want Kentucky Fried Monster?

Nyx - 1

Monsters - 0

Victory my name is Nyx!!!

Finally... Everypony… they were all safe. I protected them all. I think I'm feeling rather light-headed now... No matter. I did it; I kept them safe... That... was certainly an experience I will never forget. The adrenaline... saving other ponies... the thrill of fighting... I absolutely loved it!!! I think I found my true calling... to defend those that are beneath me... To do what's right I guess? If not for the fact I feel like I'm about to black out I would be celebra-


Nightmare Moon fainted!

The ponies that surrounded her gasped in shocked and backed away staring at the motionless former queen. Everypony was unsure to help or to just run away. Save for one pony.

"NYX!!!!!" Twilight screamed, teleporting to Nyx’s side straight away.

"Nyx... NYX! Wake up! Please wake up!!!” Twilight murmured through her tears.

"Medic!! She need a Medic!! She needs help!" Twilight screamed, turning to the crowd watching her, noticing the looks Ponyville's residents gave which could be described as the "Are you fucking kidding me" look.

Twilight frowned.

"I get that you hate me but do you hate her? She fucking saved your pathetic lives!!! Show some Celestia damn respect you waste of pony life!!!" Twilight shouted. Still nopony moved forward.

Twilight took a deep breath and added on. “Please... please..
we can’t let her... please, I need help! I can’t... I can’t help her by myself. PLEASE!"

Still nopony approached.


"Why?... Just Why???" Twilight said through a pool of tears. Those next few seconds felt like it lasted an eternity when suddenly Twilight's crying stopped when the sounds of hooves trotting forward were heard. Twilight looked up to see ponies were moving forward warily but it's a start. In the front of them was Dr. Stable and Nurse Redheart.

They were... they were actually willing to help her... to help Nyx...

Twilight smiled through her own tears of joy.

"Okay we need to first tend to her bite marks." Nurse Redheart instructed the group of ponies before her.

"Shut Up Nurse!" A pony with a pink moustache shouted.

Nurse Redheart frowned.

"Thank you Mark." Dr. Stable replied. “Okay let's get a move on everypony!!!" Dr. Stable ordered.

As the ponies prepared to pitched in to help their savior, Twilight moved towards Nyx’s side, she then leaned in and whispered to Nyx “You’re going to be all right. I promise you that."

Past Sins by Pen Stroke: Chapter 19

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Past Sins: Chapter 19: Recovery OR (Final Moments Together)

Dear Diary,

So Ponyville has survived yet another monster attack. This is like what the two hundredth and twenty fifth one? You would think ponies of this town would be moving out right about now. Well at least it wasn't attack of the black thorny vines.

Anyways the today's monster attack was evaded thanks to none other than my daughter; Nyx. She did a duplication spell on herself? Impressive... Although it was kind of weird to see all of my daughter's clones running about saving the day while screaming "Night! Night! Night!" everywhere. Was it really a duplication spell she cast or did Nyx threw herself into the mirror pool?

And what does my daughter do when I came to help? Why teleport me to the castle of course! Out of worry I can't defend myself. Pleeaaase... I juggled Ursar Minors, faced a hydra, got stoned by a cockatrice and mindwarped by Discord and Spell Nexus. You would think my own daughter would realise that I would be vital help but I digress, she was looking out for me so I can't exactly hate her for that.

That is... until she returned back bruised from head to toe. My biggest concern after that was when Nyx fainted. Also, I deny any evidence that I was begging the residents of Ponyville for helping my daughter recover. During my daughters recovery, the citizens of Ponyville tried to make the my daughters castle more hospitable for everypony. Well... except for me... I got fucking thrown into the dungeons yet again just because I suggested that we all try a gang bang orgy session to pass the time. Oh well, their lost.

I'm at least greatful that they let me visit my daughter in her chambers who was on the road to recovery. I especially want to be there when my daughter finally open her eyes.

I hope she wakes up.

A worried mother,
Twilight Sparkle

A few hours later...

Dear Diary,

She still hasn't wake up. Why hasn't she woken up yet!!! I'm starting to get worr-

Knock Knock Knock

"Huh?... Urgh!!! What now..." Twilight grumbled as she approached the door to open it.

“Mayor Mare? What are you doing here?” she muttered.

A small cough came from Mayor Mare before speaking, “I’m sorry for the disturbance between you and your... daughter...” Mayor Mare still wasn't used to thinking Nightmare Moon as Nyx.

“Yeah whatever,” Twilight muttered annoyingly. “She’s getting better at least and that’s all that matters to me. Now, what the duck did you want to talk to me about?”

“There are a few things, actually,” Mayor began.

"Oh joy..." Twilight replied sarcastically.

"Well first off, the sun is still in the sky..." Mayor Mare began.

"Yeah? So? What's the worst that could happen? Global Warming? As if."

"And secondly... well you just have to follow me." Mayor said gesturing Twilight to follow her down the hallway. Twilight did as instructed and soon they were in a room filled with pieces of papers everywhere along with a familiar school teacher standing in the midst.

"Cheerilee? What are you doing here?" Twilight inquired.

“Well, I just wanted to show you something.” Cheerilee answered, gesturing to the stacks of papers surrounding her.

“What? You expect me to organise these?” Twilight said questioningly at the scattered papers.

“Urm... No? Some of the fillies and colts around the castle spent part of the afternoon writing letters to Nyx. So, I thought you’d like to see a what they've written.”

Twilight glanced at the stacks of papers surrounding her again and used her magic to pick them up. She stared at them; surprised. The letters, most written in crayon, we're actually thanking her daughter or rather Nightmare Moon for saving them.

To Nightmare Moon,

Thank you for protecting my family.

To Nightmare Moon,

You Rock!!!

To Nightmare Moon,

Don't look or it takes you.

To Nightmare Moon,

Gat Vell Sun


To Nightmare Moon,


To Nyx,

Thanks for keeping my sister safe. Get well soon!

From: Apple Bloom


There was also a crayon coloured drawing of Applejack and Nightmare Moon standing on top of a defeated cerberus, which had crossed eyes.

Upon reading them, Twilight was left gawking in disbelief. Twilight was touched. She had by this point looked at each letter more than a few times.

"Can I... Can I take these with me?" Twilight asked.

"Of course." Cheerilee replied.

Twilight took up the stack of letters and galloped back to Nyx's room, so that she and the papers would be there when Nightmare Moon woke up.

Nyx awoke with a groan and a yawn. How long had she slept? She did not know... What she did know was that her whole body felt completely numb. Probably, to block out the overall pain she should be feeling. Nyx cracked open her eyes a moment to focus and adjust to her surroundings

"Mom!?!" Nyx croaked.

"Nyx... You awake...!?!" Twilight gasped.

[The Diary of Nyx]

Dear Diary,

Well, that's the last time I'll try fighting solo against a monster armada. Urgh... I feel sore all over. And could I get a little glass of water please. I'm thirsty.

So Ponyville has survived yet another monster attack. Honestly, this is like what the two hundredth and twenty fifth one? Seriously, you might as well rename the town "Attack Here". Perhaps I should just decree to have a picture of my mother in front of every household in Ponyville. That should scare away all the monsters and most possibly any stallion from moving into Ponyville. See? Problem solved.

Also, thank goodness my mom is not mad at me but proud of me for fighting against those monsters. Minus the part about saving the Ponyville civilians. Furthermore, I deny any evidence that I cried like a baby in front of my mother. But right now there's just one question that still remains ingrained into my head. That one question that I've been asking myself since turning into Nightmare Moon. With all that I have experienced thus far. All the rage, pain, joy, sorrow and guilt. I have to wonder...Who am I? Am I now Nightmare Moon or am I still Nyx. Talk about identity crisis...

My mom at least offered her own input that I am who I want to be. Just like how my mom choosed to be a sexually disgruntled bitch. Somehow, I am now even less reassured...

Though mom gave me a little surprise with passing me all the thank you letters from my old classmates. I was certainly touched by all they had to say though I'm pretty sure a certain pink and grey filly's letter is not within those stack of letters. Even Cheerilee wrote a letter to me.

Dear Nyx,

When your old classmates started writing letters to you, I felt that I needed to offer a few of my own words to you. I am thankful that you saved my life. I thought I was about to die, my life flashed before my eyes... I should really need to get a better job... Then you came in to rescue me.

You have certainly come a long way. From a meek and curious filly to an astoundingly brave warrior of good heart. You're certainly not that wicked and dastardly Nightmare Moon from our school play.

I remember your friends visiting me during your reign, I told them of how I believed that you were confused about who you were and that all you needed was just some time before you'll do the right thing. I am certainly giving them detention for weeks for the stunt they pulled...

I thank you for proving me right, and I am ever so thankful to call you my star student. And I'm pretty sure Twilight does too... in her own way...

Treasure your accomplishments, appreciate your obsessive curiosity, and never forget the family that raised you.

So once again thank you, for everything.

Your Former Teacher,

P.S. You still have homework to do...


I'm not crying... those are just liquid... pride... Ya... that's right... liquid pride...

Thankfully Twilight burst the bubble and said that perhaps it's best Princess Celestia and Luna should be releas- Wait... What!!!

What the actual hell is my mom thinking? Does she want me to be banished to the moon? I... I don’t want to go back... I don’t want to be alone again... but sadly... my mom's right. If Celestia and Luna were the reason that kept the monsters of the Everfree at bay who knows what else were there they did to somehow prevent Equestria own destruction.

I'm scared... but... but at least I can take comfort with having my mom right beside me for what's to come... the release of the princesses could wait... at least I have a few hours before the inevitable...

And so Mom and I spent our last evening together side by side together eating daffodil sandwiches and celery soup. It felt nice...

Worried about the future,
Nyx/Nightmare Moon

Dear Nurse Redheart,

Thanks for treating my wounds. Come by my castle anytime. You'll be howling louder than a pack of timberwolf by the time I'm through.

Extremely Greatful,
Nyx/Nightmare Moon

Past Sins by Pen Stroke: Chapter 20

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Past Sins: Chapter 20: Judgment OR (Final Testimonies)

[Nyx's/Nightmare Moon's Diary]

Dear Diary,

So I finally released the princesses, and you wouldnt believe the state that they were in. While during their vacation away from Equestria, Luna is now muttering about starting a potato farm on Mars and Celestia is in a banana suit screaming peanut butter jelly time repeatedly. Okay... first off... two questions... what kind of drugs are they on and where can I get some? Wow... only a few weeks has passed and that was how long it took to make them go batshit insane. It's no wonder Luna went all berserk as... urm... me... when she returned to Equestria after her 1000 year imprisonment.

Great... another pair of nutcases to fix. Wasn't Spell Nexus and his crew of miscreants a hooffull already? Oh well I guess... time to fix this. Mom and I decided to just hit their heads multiple times with a pair of baseball bats. It seemed to work and I have a sinking suspicion that Mom seemed to enjoy it the most especially when bashing on Celestia's thick skull.

After we knocked them back to their senses, we told them what they've missed these passed few weeks, the fights fought, the nation's struggle, the conflicts I faced yadda yadda... boring stuff. I bet you could summarise my whole life experience as Nightmare Moon in about a few chapters and pretty much nopony would want to read that.

Anywho, I'm surprised I'm still sitting here and not sulking on the moon; bruised, battered and beaten to a pulp but apparenty Celestia decided to be a lazy fuck and deferred to Luna for my final judgement. I'm truly surprised Celestia even did that considering she had no qualms when she kidnapped me from my mother last time. So now Luna is getting some testimonies from fellow citizens before her final sentence on me... my final judgement is at hand.

-Nightmare Moon/Nyx

[Testimony by the Element Bearer of Honesty]

Ay was takin' a nap after overindulging in fifty tons of cider when Princess Luna flew in askin' me for my personal testimony on Nyx. Now I'll be honest... Ay thought was still dreamin' considerin' last Ay heard Princess Luna was still on the Moon.

What Ay think of Nyx well... as Nyx she was very keen on learnin' 'bout farmwork. Somethin' my own lil' sis doesn't pay no heed to what with her crusadin' and all that. But as Nightmare Moon? Well... let's just say that appletanks are all ay need if she's tries anything. Anywho, in all honesty, Ay reckon that... Ay don’t know what to think... Ay mean she did some pretty nasty things and more than her fair share of good as Nightmare Moon. Ay guess I'm on middle ground really... but if Luna still believes Nyx's still indebt for her crimes... well... go easy on her. She's been through thick and thin especially livin' with Twilight of all ponies. And you you can clearly see what a fine example she turns out to be but I'll admitt that I’m probably not the pony to go askin’ ‘bout this and that's the Celestia-damn honest truth.

*end of recording*

Okay now time to get some slee- wait... what do you mean you want me to bring you to other ponies for their testimonies??? Now wait just a Celestia-damn minute Princess Luna there's no way I'm goin' to... urm banishment to the moon you say... Well... so much for my nap...

Meanwhile, Twilight was tending to Nyx's wounds on her makeshift bed with Princess Celestia observing in the background. Nyx willed herself to not go to sleep unwilling to lower her guard around the princess. Though soon enough Nyx feel asleep from sheer exhaustion.

Twilight continued to replace Nyx's bandages in utter silence until Celestia spoke.

“Twilight, may I ask you something?”

“No,” Twilight replied bluntly.

“Do you blame those cultists for the events that transpired the night they finished their spell?” Celstia continued undettered by Twilight's remark.

Twilight pondered..."Well, they kidnapped my daughter and then they imprisoned, mind-warped and nearly executed me. Gee... what do you think?"

Celestia remained silent.

"Though perhaps the only good thing they've ever done in their worthless lives was bringing me Nyx into my life. So I might forgive them just a tiny little?" Twilight added on.

“I guess everypony needs forgiveness as we’ve all done stupid things we wish we could undo.”

Celestia nodded looking away, reflecting on the night she took Nyx from Twilight.

"Though I still don't forgive you. You fat-ass son of a bitch." Twilight muttered under her breath.

[Testimony by the Element Bearer of Generosity]

So I was in my boutique making some dresses when AJ barges in. Well finally that farm mare has finally caved in and chose to dressed in sty-

Princess Luna is in my shop... Princess Luna... is in my shop...Oh Sweet Celestia PrincessLunaisinmyshop!!! Where's my fainting couch!!!


[Testimony by the Element Bearer of Generosity: Take 2]

Soooo... what do I think of Nyx... well she certainly is what I'll call a proper mare just like I taught her to. She keeps my sister (occupied) company when I work. She saved Ponyville but she also imprisoned my sister. I'm torn on this question... I would forgive her but I doubt the rest of Equestria would...

I guess my best answer is that she does need to be published but properly. Enough with all of that "To The Moon" nonsense. So I have to ask... what do you; Princess Luna, plan to do as her punishment? Well, I certainly hope you're not going to decide her fate by spinning on a spinning wheel with icons labelled such as "Banishment to Moon", "Community Service" or "Boiled in Oil". Cause that would be sil-

*end of recording*

[Testimony by the Element Bearer of Loyalty, Laughter and Kindness]

What do I think. What do I think!?! She nearly plunged Equestria into eternal night and that affected a lot of ponies!!! After all she’s done, you can't just forgive her and everything will be fine and dandy? But don’t get me wrong, she saved Ponyville from those monster attacks but really hasn't the rest of us been doing that for quite some time. Hero worship on that regard really degrades after a while. Unfortunately....

Well... urm, if you don't mind and all, I... urm... I would forgive her...

Fluttershy! You can't be serious! Nightmare Mo-

Nyx! Her name is Nyx, Rainbow Dash! Would you banish Nyx to the moon?

No, I wouldn't wish for that for Nyx. But at least have her lock up in a dungeon or jail or something for a few years. At least it's better than a thousand years... Urm... No offence Princess Luna....

Jail! No! No no no! That's still too harsh! We forgive good ponies. Nyx isn’t a bad pony. She hasn’t hurt anypony except for maybe Trixie when we used our Elements on her! She just took our elements and left us be.

Ya! Like any cliché villian!

And I would have bested a villain like Nightmare Moon with one of my awesome plans.

Rainbow, those plans will be half-baked and end in complete disaster.

Yeah, and half-baked plans are like half-baked cakes just like those baked bads you made AJ!!!


Nyx needs to answer for her misdeeds! The rest of Equestria would want that!

No, she deserves to be forgiven!

I would forgive her! I like Queen Nyxie. Have her stick around some more. Plus I'm planning for her a super fun-eriffic ‘Thanks-For-Saving-Ponyville-From-A-Bunch-Of-Scary-Monsters’ party and we wouldn't want her banished for that! She would miss all the fun stuff we could do like musical chairs, pin the tail on the pony, blowing out the candles of her cake, opening her presents, the balloon animals, maybe even put a little bit of dru-

*end of recording*

[Testimony by Cutie Mark Crusaders]


Anyway, we’re Nyx’s best friends! A fellow crusader through and through. She defended us from Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon for ponies sake! She even went to defend our town from a monster attack! She's fun to be with, kind, awesome, playful and an amazing actor in our school play. Even if she did played herself. Point is, Nyx is a great friend and we hate to see her go. If anything banish Twilight. You wouldn't believe the things she tried to do with us when we were trapped in the same cell as her.

*end of recording*

"I have returned sister." Princess Luna said flying through the castle bedroom window.

"Have you decided what is to become of Nightmare Moon.." Princess Celestia asked.

"Yes. but I would like to talk to Nightmare Moon alone before I pass my final judgement."

"Alright." Princess Celestia said leaving the room with Twilight trotting disgruntly behind her. As Twilight approached the door, she turned back to face Nyx giving her a weak smile before leaving.

Nyx glanced anxiously at Princess Luna whom stared back at her blankly.

"Nightmare Moon or Nyx, you stand accused of high treason against Equestria. You have committed crimes against the ponies of this kingdom as well as my sister and I, the High Princesses of Equestria. You have brought about two weeks of constant night to this land. You unjustly imprisoned one adult mare and three young fillies. Your agents, the Children of Nightmare, spread fear throughout the land and almost succeeded in executing an innocent unicorn. Above all, you usurped Equestria’s throne by imprisoning both me and my sister in the moon and sun respectively. Do you deny any of these claims?"

Nyx flinched at those accusations but she stood her ground. “No… I do not.”

“Before I pass my judgment, Nightmare Moon, I would ask you one question. Are you willing to answer it truthfully?”

Nyx replied with a simple nod.

“Earlier, just before you surrendered yourself to Celestia and I, you said something to Twilight Sparkle. What did you say?”

“I just told her that I know the pony I want to be.”

"And what pray tell is who you want to be? What are you exactly? Are you the miscarriage of a summoning spell? Are you Nyx, the mischievous daughter of Twilight Sparkle or Nightmare Moon, the embodiment of the sins of an alicorn? Who are you?" Luna asked.

Nyx stared at Princess Luna intensely.

"I will not deny the past of my origins. But now I know that I am more than just that. A faded shadow of you. As Nyx, I learnt how to actually live life and I treasure these memories created. As Nightmare Moon, I learnt strength and power but what I used it for was to protect the ponies I cared for as Nyx. That small window of being Nyx has left a mark on my entire being that I happily embraced. I am my mothers daughter after all."

“The name I choose as my own is Nyx however I am both Nightmare Moon and Nyx for they are one and the same. And the mare I want... I chose to be is both. The mischievous little foal and the protector of fellow ponies!” With that Nyx stomped her hoof, the sounds of it echoing across the entire bedroom.

Luna's eyes narrowed upon Nyx's final sentence. Her horn glowing...

“Then, Nyx, I lay my judgment upon you.”

Past Sins by Pen Stroke: Final Chapter

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Past Sins: Chapter 21: The End of the Nightmare OR (See You In Winter Bells)

Yllissi Thgi Liwt

Dear Princess Luna,

You are such a motherfucking troll!!! I was worried that after all Nyx has done you would send her to the Moon or maybe somewhere further like Saturn. Instead you decide to go all Tirek on Nyx and drain her back to a filly while you grow titan sized. What. The. Fuck. How in tartarus does marysue alicorn magic even work like that? I really need to try doing some experiments on alicorn growth next time. You could have at least turn her into a foal instead? Now I have to deal with a disgruntled foal!!! Does any sane parent would ever want that! Go fuck yourself! Nevertheless, I'm glad that Nyx is restored in the end to the cuddly little filly we all love. Completely helpless and vulnerable before all the ponies who now want her head on a silver plate for her crimes against Equestria.


You may not have thought this all the way through Princess Luna.... You retard! Sigh. I’m just glad to have my demon spawn back. And maybe even the Fax Machine as well. That dumb slave... So the next day after that I find out my little Nyxie has gotten her butt tattoo and now I have to set up her very own cute-ceañera. Well that's just great... Thankfully I convinced Pinkie to do it for me instead (minus all the drugs she smuggles into her usual parties). I will not have my little filly become a drug addict! The party was a blast, waking up the entire block in the process. Turn down for what, my little ponies!!! In the end, I couldn't be more happier I can even picture my daughter one day when she's older, living in her castle listening to demo music while drawing demonic pentagrams in my ex-mentor's blood. That I can look forward to till then taking care of a child can’t be that much of a problem right??

A now confused mother,
Twilight Sparkle

Dear Sister,

You do realize that Twilight is a mortal and Nyx is an immortal. When Twilight dies, we might end up having to adopt that troublesome foal...

Princess Luna

Dear Sister,

Operation Twilicorn is a go!!!

Unprepared for possible motherhood,
Princess Celestia

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

Can you adopt me as well?

In need of a family,

Dear Daughter,

I’m a Grandma!!!

Twilight Velvet

Dear Daughter,

So when are you getting married? As I recall “First comes love, then comes marriage and then the baby in the carriage”. You’re doing it out of order! So, I’m setting you up in a blind date with some orange pegasus from the royal guard. Surely only good can come out of it.


Dear Nyx,

You are discordially invited to be in Know Your Mare.

The best disembodied voice,

Dear Nyx,

So you’re cutie marks a shield? You gonna need it staying with Twilight and all.

Your Friends,

Dear Nyx,

Go back to where you came from!

Always Watching,
Mary Sue Haters

Dear Haters,

I’m fucking famous OC that has her own published novel. Deal with it or be hanged at in a noose.

Nyx- Bringer of Nightmares


Reports from Princess Celestia herself have claimed that Nightmare Moon is no more. The threat has been vanquished and we can all move on with our pathetic lives.

However, not that many people were happy with the turn out.

Leader of the Northern Griffon Kingdom, Fried Chick Un became his namesake due to the sun being stuck over his country for two straight weeks. He threatens to send nuclear missiles upon the Nation of Equestria. This is what the Leader of Southern Griffonstone, Xena Warrior Princess Gilda, had to say. “Can it you poser! A little sun can’t hurt anyone.”

Also, there have also been recent reports of a new cult group called The-Nyxian-Alliance the Leaders of said group being Mr. Penstroke and Batty Gloom whom claim to be the new devotees of Nightmare Moon. They planned to release Nightmare Moon out of whatever prison she has entrapped in. we highly doubt you'll find her in any prison.

This is what Spell Nexus had to say on the new cult group: “How did you fillies break into the Psychiatric Ward?”

A certain newspaper reporter by the name of Column look at the newspaper article by The Foal Free Press questioningly at the fact that Nightmare Moon was imprisoned.

"Hmm... Seems suspicious..."

Dear Twilight Sparkle Sister,

Does this mean I’m an aunt now?


Bonus Chapter: That's So Cliche

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Dear Lauren Faust,

Ever since I was forced into Ponyville I've always wondered. Why was fate so cruel to me. This question has been plaguing me for such a long time. And then the drugged up party mare showed me a TV show from the "human world". Apparently I'm fictional. That's fucking fantastic. I can now be friends with fucking Darth Vader.

Anyways, so you're the bloody reason I'm living in this backwater town. I rather be star gazing in motherfucking G1 to G3 than be stuck with these revamps of my old friends Firefly, Posey, Surprise, Sparkler and urm... Applejack? But seriously, my G4 friends are the worse revamp since the Transformer Movies by Micheal Bay. I fucking hate your bi-pedaled guts. I'm so glad you left the show.

Your Annoyed G4 Pony,
Disgruntled Twilight Sparkle

P.S If your race ever tried to invade Equestria. Be prepared for a Rainbow-Powered Rapist and The Conversion Bureau as your opponents. See you in Tartarus.

Dear Brony Fandom,

So apparently people think I'm a edible food substance. Ehhh... interesting? But I honestly rather be fighting a giant crab monster than be called a big fat marshmallow.

Your Anorexic Fastionista,

Dear Sergeant Sprinkles,

I don't butcher ponies and make them into Cupcakes for consumption. I just participate in parties and take lots of drugs.

Your Favorite Party Mare,
Pinkie Pie

P.S. Who the hell in the brony fandom said my mane taste like cotton candy? Some weird female Discord OC rip-off tried chewing on my fucking mane.

Dear Brony Fandom,

Just because I have rainbow coloured hair and likes to put up a good fight does not mean I'm gay. I just know what real cool things are instead of playing with Barbies or watching a TV show for little girls. Anyone who disagrees... I'll bring hell to their doorsteps.

Your Straight Tomboy,
Rainbow Dash

P.S. Who the hell started the ship of me with AJ?

Dear G1,

I am not a silly pony.

Just an ordinary country mare and not a background pony,

P.S. Who the buck shipped me with Rainbow?

Dear M. A. Larson,

Is there a chance we can put Angel Bunny in my shed for the remainder of the series? Ponies seem to hate on my sweet little pet for some reason.

Your Gentle Doormat,

Dear AstrumSpark,

I am not a robot. I'm flesh and blood for pony's' sake. What kind of drugs did you take to think I am one? Go to the mental asylum you freak.

A Normal Filly,
Sweetie Belle

Dear Brony Fandom,

Whose idea was it to say I'm an orphan? And if someone starts throwing bird seeds at me, I'll pecked their eyes out.

An Angry Chicken,

Dear Blackgryph0n,

Up for another Michael Jackson Duet Song my special somepony?

Michael Creber Applebloom

Dear Brony Fandom,

Soo.... Trollestia, Tyrantlestia, Cakelestia or Molestia. All are crap portrayals of me but will make your life living hell anyway. Take your pick.

Your Supreme Ruler,
Princess Celestia

Dear Internet,

What in thy name of Fausticorn is a videogame? Thy still new to this "fun".

Princess Luna

Dear M. A. Larson,

Any chance we can actually BE HELPFUL in Season 6 than just a burden?

The Wonderbolts and The Canterlot Royal Guard

Dear M. A. Larson,

Any chance of putting me in Equestria for Season 6? I've got nothing better to do while waiting for the next EQG Movie Flop.

Sunset Shimmer

Dear M. A. Larson,

So with what happen in the Season Five Finale... Can we have a second chance of ruling Equestria?

Nightmare Moon, Discord, Queen Chrysalis, King Sombra, Sunset Shimmer, Tirek and Starlight Glimmer

Dear Discord,

YOU. ME. Sock Puppet Dimension. NOW!!!


Dear Fluffle Puff,

Stay the hell away from me before I bring out a shaver. I DO NOT want to be shipped with you.

Creeped Out,
Queen Chrysalis

Dear M. A. Larson,

The Great And Powerful Trixie Demands You Give Her More Screen Time On The Show

Forever Great and Powerful,
The Great And Powerful TRIXIE!!!!

Dear Fimfiction Users,

You can stop writing stories about me getting my just deserts now. The Diamond Tiara Is Redeemed Trope is now cannon. Suck it.

Your Redeemed Filly,
Diamond Tiara

P.S. I Fucking Hate My Cannon Mother.

Dear Brony Fandom,


Pumped Up,
Bulk "Snowflake" Biceps

Dear M. A. Larson,

What's wrong with showing kids some lesbian-horse sex. Avatar: Legend of Korra did a find job with that.

Lyra and Agent Sweetie Drops Bon Bon

Dear Marble Pie,

Thanks for sinking the ship about me being with Big Mac. It was getting as overused as AppleDash.

Ms. Cheerilee

Dear Peter New,

Could you please talk more. All I ever say is eyup and nope. I'm not Charlie Chappin. Please let me have a voice.

Big Mac

Dear Nowacking,

Please try to get a job in voice acting in the MLP Staff. I'm kind of a mute right now thanks to M. A. Fucking Larson so I would really appreciate the assist.

Your Wubilicious Vampony,
DJ Pon-3

P.S Why do people ship me with my sister; Octavia?

Dear Jan Animations,

Please bring me back!!! I still haven't got to see my brother and I don't want to be forgotten by Sweetie Belle. Don't lose to King Hasbro's commercial tyranny.

Your number one mustache colt,
Button Mash

Dear Brony Fandom,

My name is Muffin. Not Derpy. Certainly not Ditzy Doo. It's Muffin. Like the food I so love to eat. Now if you'll excuse me I have to mail this other letter to a Doctor Whooves? of The T.A.R.D.I.S?

Your Number One Mailmare,

P.S Thanks M. A. Larson for a cannon name. Finally.

Dear Brony Fandom,

So apparently my other fan name also the name of a substance people used to clean their dirty little mouths. Fuck You.

Your Number One Tardis,
Colgate Minuette

Dear Time Turner,

Hello!! I'm the Doctor by the way. I represent BBC and you are to be exterminated. Eat sonic screwdriver you impersonator and consider this a war on King Hasbro by King BBC.

Full Of Regenerative Time Lord Rage,
David Tennant

Dear Dr. Wolf,

Can I have a session with you sometime next week? I've been very depressed lately. I've been harassed by the recently appointed princess and been hated on by thousands of people even being physically abused by a demonic hippogryph for no apparent reason. Seriously it's like they think I'm Justin Bieber or something.

Flash Sentry

Bonus Chapter: #WTFU

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Meanwhile in the EQG Universe...





Hello? ....

Is this thing on?....


Helllo!! We are the CMC and we're here to talk about the latest happenings around our town.

Anyways, today's news report. HoofTube and #WTFU.

Ever since Nostalgia Critic uploaded his video on February 16th, 2016 discussing the shitty system that is HoofTube. A Slogan has been spreading like wildfire on the Internet. #WTFU Or "Where's The Fair Use?". Most have coined the term #WTFU as "What The Fuck YoUTube?" but that's besides the point. Most have dubbed these series of events that occurred after that posting, the Fall of HoofTube. Since the video's posting, this has sparked an online campaign among HoofTube Internet reviewers of a kids show called My Little Donkey whom are now further spreading the message. In fact both Canterlot High and Crystal Prep have setup petitions to get HoofTube to changed it's unfair system.

Most students have compared the HoofTube automatic system to that of GLaDOS. Cause they're fucking broken. Next thing you know the HoofTube's automatic system might just cause Judgement Day. Some Hooftubers have actually exploited this broken system, like the Wrong Brothers when they set up their "React World". Thousands of react channels received copyright strikes from the Wrong Brothers especially Bronkies React. This lead to the Wrong Brothers losing thousands upon thousands of subscribers. The HoofTube system is so broken that even our very own funniest music video ever seen gotten taken off of HoofTube and it was an original work!!!

I mean compared to what we did as Anon-a-Miss was nothing compared to this bullshit.

I mean I bet even as we speak, this is gonna get taken down somehow by HoofT-

Sorry Your Video Has Been Taken Down. Have A Fucking Nice Day.

Bonus Chapter: Supermare V The Mysterious Mare Do Well Movie

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher


Ever since the announcement of the Supermare V The Mysterious Mare Do Well Movie, probably one of the most absurd match-ups of 2016. There has been tremendous hype for the movie. Thousands of ponies line up in wait for the movie's release. (Talk about the gathering of the nerds.)

The movie premise is that following the events after Mare of Steel, vigilante The Mysterious Mare Do Well travels to Maretropolis to preemptively combat Supermare. There are also other superhero characters like Wonder Womare, Aquamarine, Cypony, Fili Second. It's amazing that the DC Universe is finally bringing their heroes together in a single world just like the Marvel Universe with The Neighvengers.

And with the remaining few hours, there has been a lot of speculation of who will win in this battle. But you know the saying "United we stand. Divided we fall." So are you #TeamSuper or #TeamMareDoWell?

Most Fans on #TeamSuper pretty much say that Supermare will pretty much win in the end. A certain rainbow haired pegasus has been scene holding up Cloud Signs stating that Supermare will win since she's 20% cooler than Mare Do Well a heroine she despise apparently. Gee I wonder why?

Here's an interview of one of the few dedicated fans of Supermare on why Supermare will win:

"Let us introduce ourselves first."
"He's Screw-"

"-and I'm Attack."

"And we're here to say why Supermare will win this fight."

"If you read the comics, the TV series or the movies, he's stupidly overpowered."

"Absorbing Plant Energy, Amnesia Kiss, Lifting an Island of Kryptonite, you name it!"

"I mean Goku lost twice to Supermare. Twice. GOKU of all characters!"

"So what chance does Mare Do Well have at beating Supermare an all powerful super alien/god."

"Well if you paid attention. Remember what happened to Discord! Yeah! He was beaten by a pony!" Twilight Sparkle angrily replies.

Most Fans on #TeamMareDoWell, on the other hand, pretty much disagree. In fact, a certain Miss Sunset Shimmer has been seen wearing a Mysterious Mare Do Well Outfit screaming "I'm Batmare!" in support of the idea of Batmare winning the fight.

Here's an interview of one of the few dedicated fans of Mare Do Well on wht mare Do Well will win which was cut short:

"She keeps Krytonite in her utility belt. End of Story." says Bat-Mite

"I disagree. Supermare has Time Travel Super Ex Machina on her side. End of Story." Mister Mxyzptlk counter replies.

"But it's just a theory." Matpat replies.

"I agree. Timetravel is complicated. Very complicated. Time is more like a ball of Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimy... Stuff." Time Turner says.

"Mare Do Well will Win!!!"

"Supermare will WIN!!!"

Fan Wars aside. There's rumors of The Supermare Curse once more arising. The curse is said to be basically where all those whom portrayed Supermare in blockbuster movies met an unexpected demise.

"Supermare will lose. One way or another. Watch yourself Henry Cavill" Discord replied, grinning evilly.

In other news, The Crystal Empire is welcoming the birth of Princess Cadence's and Prince Shining Armor's foal; Flurry Heart. There have been rumors of birth defects-

*End Transmission*

Greetings Heroes,

Hope you'll enjoy the movie.

King of Cameos,
Stan Lee

Meanwhile... In the DC/My Little Pony Crossover Universe....

"Hello. I'm Lois Lane. And I'm here to talk about the happenings of superheroes world wide. Today we'll be talking about the upcoming brawl between Supermare and Mare Do Well.

Here's a clip showing Supermare and The Mysterious Mare Do Well shouting death treats:

"Do you bleed? Cause you will!! I'm Batmare!!' The Mysterious Mare Do Well screamed.

"You mean just like your parents?" Supermare annoyingly replied.

"Oh!! We got BAT BLOOD now!!"


"It's like a civil war here. The Apocalypse is definitely coming. And no. it's not the First Mutant. We can expect forecast of a very stupidly large death-toll and a thousand upon thousands of bits worth of property damage to buildings that rivals that of Supermare's fight with Zod. I'd suggest moving to the moon. Princess Luna will surely assist in that."

"Anyways, in other news, the Joker has set up a team of supervillians together calling themselves the Suicide Squad; an anti-hero team."

This was actually quite a shocker among the many ponies of Trotham. When asked why is he decided in doing this, he simply gave us this reply.

"Why so serious? I'm the Joker. I'm the unpredictable. It's what I do." The Joker replied.

"One day I may blow up a hospital the next day i might want ridiculous tattoos and no eyebrows. It's just gonna happen ponies but it's still me."

"But any who, why am I doing this is because I need another purpose in life. Ever since Batmare has found a new nemesis for herself instead of little old me, I have lost what has completed me. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to the Villain Pub to drown my sorrows."

With that The Joker threw laughing gas everywhere.

*End Transmission*

Dear Pinkie Pie,

So you wanna make some Chimmy Cherry Fucking Changas?

The Merc With The Mouth,

P.S. I'm not that old Deadpool. So don't kill me on sight okay?

The day after the movie's release....

It was utter Chaos. Litter was strewn about everywhere. Carts were overturned. Windows were shut tight just to tune out all the violence. And in one lone corner, the wall was graffitied with the words: "Fuck You Zack Snyder!"

Bonus Chapter: Literal Version

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Dear Princess Celestia,

I write a friendship letter that makes me sound bitchy but is entertaining to readers.


P.S. [Insert Punchline Here]

Dear Twilight,

I write a response that is funny to readers as it's a parody of Trollestia.

-Princess Celestia

P.S. Check out my responses here

I break the 4th wall all the time cause I'm the comic relief.


P.S. Hi Bronies and Pegasisters!!!

I'm the fan-favorite cause I'm Q in a nutshell. However, I'm not the most basic of jokes.


Dear Discord,

Yes. You are.


I'm 20% cooler, I'm awesome as I wannna be and I always dress in style.

-Rainbow Dash

Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples, Apples...


I... The Great and Powerful Trixie... got tricks up my sleeve!!!


Cutie Mark Crusaders [Insert Name of Task] YAY!

I'm life's punching bag.

Somepony kill me please...


I am hated by almost everyone in the brony fandom.

Somepony kill me please...

-Flash Sentry

[Insert Name of MLP Character Here]

[Add Quick and Hilarious Letter Response Here]

[Insert Name of Character from other Social Media Here]


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Please see the blog post here

The Most Annoying Infestation by ocalhoun

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

The Most Annoying Infestation OR (The Adventures of Thundernight Moonglade Kerfluffle Fangling The Magnificent)

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

Do you remember last Nightmare Night when I was dared into playing the midnight game? Nothing happen to me at all that day but now it appears that incident is now biting me back in the plot. Hard. These last couple of nights have been rather weird for me. All of my stuff keeps getting misplaced here and there, an IV appears around the side of my cloud bed now and then and I hallucinate angry animatronics outside my doorway. What the actual fuck is in my house!!! It's official. My house is haunted... so who I'm gonna call? Why you of course! Against my better judgement.

And would you hurry please!!! As I'm writing this letter it's now 5a.m. and that's when things around my house get really chaotic.

Please help....

Rainbow Dash

Upon finishing the letter Rainbow Dash heard a knock on the door. Immediately Rainbow dashed towards the entrance and pulled the door wide open. At the doorway was a familiar derpy-eyed mailmare.

"You got mail!" Derpy exclaimed excitedly.

"Oh hey Derpy! Do you mind mailing this letter to Twilight's Library ASAP?"

"You can count on me Rainbow Dash! Nothing is undelivable for me!" With that Derpy flew off.

Dear Rainbow Dash,

If you needed help with pest control you could have asked me. Your oldest best friend!


P.S. You really need to get over your arachnophilliaphobia. I have! Grow some balls, Rainbow!

Dear Pinkie Pie,

Great idea with the FNAF themed prank on Rainbow. Her paranoia was absolutely hilarious!

Your friend,

P.S. How about we prank Twilight by turning her horn into candy?

Dear Diary,

These past few days I've been binge reading late at night and I still have fucking trouble keeping my wings down every time I read an erotic novel!! These wings are such a burden. Anyway, these late night readings has made me so fucking tir-


ZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz...Wa... Wa... what....? Oh.... I fell asleep again... Fucking hell!

So, you want to know why I'm so cranky today? Well let me tell you.... that retard mailmare created a fucking hole in my ceiling! That's why!!! And all because of a letter from Rainbow Dash? Well Rainbow, you can go screw yourself you stupid-ass bitch for damaging my fucking home! I'm a motherfucking alicorn! Do you really want to see the dark side of me? Well you better be ready to get Midnight Sparkled upon! Watch your back!

So, I flew right into her celestia-damn cloud house of hers to give her a piece of my mind! Upon my arrival, I noticed that Rainbow's place is in dire need of better interior decorator. I mean wow! She REALLY likes used patio furniture. Bet you two bits that her furniture will fall apart in a day or two. Get a refund you egotistical imbecile! I was about to shout her celestia-damn name when that gay-ass bitch had the nerve to come barging in casually and start saying that my anti-pest spell wasn't working. Well gee wasn't that obvious? As if I would be that helpful to an arrogant mare like you. And let's get real here. Stuff moving around your house? Really? Have you not considered that you might have an unexpected visitor? Think about it... It's easy to break in here when the walls are made of fluffy fucking clouds! Seriously, pegasus security stinks! I'm outta here, I need to get some beauty sleep!

That is.... until that rainbow bitch started shoving me to the kitchen. Dude, bribing me with food won't help unless you have some whip creeeeeeaaaaam.... Okay I change my mind! I'll help! It'll be done with it in a blink of an eye. No sweat! Casting my RIP headphone users spell and we found our culprit. A batpony child that's run away from home. Honestly, my first impressions were that the kid should really get cleaned. He was absolutely filthy. Do batponies ever heard of a bath? ....Great, now I sound just like Rarity... So what did I do after that? Let's just say that they were a lot of batty shenanigans that ensured itself. Some swears were spoken. Some chasing happened. You get the drill... I genuinely would have sentenced that dumb kid to six to eight weeks in my sex dungeon for wasting my precious time I could have spent sleeping if it weren't for the fact that Rainbow mentioned that I should look for the kid's parents. Look for his parents? Are you kidding me, Rainbow? Screw you! I'm off to bed! Good night bitches!!

Your sleep deprived mare,
Twilight Sparkle

Dear Diary,

FUCK! My world has officially turned upside down! I have a kid in my house this whole time! Hopefully, he hasn't seen what I do when I'm in my bedroom at night alone... Honestly though, I thought the intruder was Scootaloo...

So, got the kids name to find out who and where his parents were and give them a piece of my mind. In hindsight, I should have called foal protection services instead cause they are really horrible parents to punish a kid for something he did not do. I can really relate to the kid in that regard. Mine didn't believe me at all when I said I was bullied in flight school. Why do you think I ran away and moved to this backwater town? Parents suck! Just look at how Twilight threats Spike!! But till those horrible parents arrive, I had to babysit Thunderlane Moonblade something... something.... Wow, his name's a real a mouthful! Anyways, piece of cake right? Sadly, no. I don't know jackshit on how to deal with kids. Batty, whom is what I decided to call him, started to scream like a banshee and started to jump up and down my bed. While Batty is in my bed, I shout at him to get off and Batty is still in my bed. Whelp, this is going to be a loooong day.

Note to self: Don't ever have children...

Then Batty's stomach rumbled. Great. Now I have to feed him? Raising Tank was easier than this! So, Batty starts giving me puppy dog eyes, must... resist... cuteness... and I relented and gave him some cereal to eat. Then Batty has the balls to say he won't eat it and prefers bat threats. Oh Heelllll No!!! I'm going to make that kid eat the cereal... Force-feeding is the right way to feed kids food right? After that, he needed a bath, while I'm tempted to just drown the damn kid in the bathtub. Sadly, I don't have one. Only a shower. Dammit! Finishing his shower, I told him to go dry himself. So all is better now right? Ya, still no. What are taking his parents so long? How slow are they!?! Cause my love and tolerance is at it's breaking poin-

"Tag you're it!" Batty screamed, darting off to the other side of Rainbow's cloud house.

"That's it. I think you have just made my very very mad! Get back here you piece of shit!!!" Rainbow shouted, giving chase.

Hours later......

Batty's parents were outside Rainbow's house when they heard giggling and laughter of their child echoing from inside the house along with the stomping of hooves and the flapping of wings. Upon opening the door they were greeted with a blur of rainbow colours zig-zagging around chasing their child.

"Thundernight Moonglade Kerfluffle Fangling!" Batty's Mother shouted.

At that instant, Batty abruptly stopped in his tracks.

"You're coming home with us mister!" Batty's Father added on.

With that, Batty went to his parents side.

"Hope he wasn't too much trouble." Batty's Mother said nicely to Rainbow.

"Oh... urm... sure... No problem at all...." Rainbow said apprehensively, clearly hiding a knife behind her that she had intended to use on Batty.

Dear Rainbow Dash,

Well that task was easy! Now for my reward... Prepare some of AJ's ropes and some whip cream. You and I both know what payment I want.

Your well-rested and horny mare,
Twilight Sparkle

To Princess Twilight Sparkle,

If you don't want your wings mind if I have them?

-Prince Blueblood

Dear Blue Mommy,

That was fun! I'll visit again next time!

-Thundernight Moonglade Kerfluffle Fangling Batty

The Most Annoying House Guest by Harmony Pie: Chapter 1

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

The Most Annoying House Guest: Chapter 1: Batty OR (The Annoyance Returns...)

Dear Diary,

So it's been a few weeks since that crazy batcolt stalked my house. A lot of shit has happened since then. I crashed Twilight and Rarity's date at the carnival, Rarity ditched Twilight and ended up with AJ during winter and then there was some incident with another Pinkie Pie clone. Speaking of Pinkie, she gave Twilight some goodbye gift. Guess Twilight is the next victim on her list?

As for me, I've been reading the latest Daring Do book about the know-it-all Quibble Pants and me meeting Daring and chasing after The Amulet of Culiacan. Funnily enough, it was called Stanger Than Fan Fiction. A. K. Yearling is really running out of epic titles... Anywho, I was getting to the good part when suddenly I was startled, awesomely I might add, by a certain little troublemaker. Well, isn't this fantastic... Batty has returned.... Well buck me! Where's Twilight with that RIP headphone user spell when you need her?

I would have get some pepperspray if it weren't for the fact that he started screaming, "I'mma snuggle you!" and cling on me like life depended on it. Does this kid not know how to hug a pony cause... He... He... Hey!!!!! No touching the hooves!!! That's it! I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake. Shake him off. Shake him off!!!

And what does the kid do next? He grabs my cookie jar and starts eating my cookies on my bed. Must... resist... cuteness... Buck this, I'm getting some ice cream... So why is this kid crashing in my house like some Zephyr Breeze wannabe? Why a sleepover of course! A sleepover?? That's why? Rainbow "Danger" Dash doesn't do sleepovers. Then Batty started saying some sappy stuff about how his parents ignore him all the time... who cares?? Somepony really needs to call foal protection services. You would think after their child ran away they would lock up the house like fort knox. What happened next was Batty started to browse through my closet to wear one of my old dusty PJs. Well good thing he never went through my sock collection... Now he expects me to make a pillow fort and read him a bedtime story? Well screw this!!! I'm off to bed...

Your fed up mare,
Blue Mommy Rainbow "Danger" Dash

Dear Batty,

Back off! Rainbow is my senpai!!

Your flightless yandere,

The Most Annoying House Guest by Harmony Pie: Final Chapter

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

The Most Annoying House Guest: Last Chapter: Bath OR (Breaking Point)

A few hours later....

Dear Dairy,

Why the hell is this kid still in my home? Can't he take a hint? Buck off Batty!! Urgh... if it weren't for the fact that I'm feeling sleepy, I'd have shown him how much of a bad pony I can be... He'll be needing stitches by the time I am through with him. Wait... why are there crumbs on my bed??? That little brat ate all my cookies!! Well... let's see how this little cookie crumbles them. And so, I decided to dump the kid in my bathtub. Wait wasn't it a shower last time??? Oh nevermind.... Nothing like cold water for sweet sweet revenge. Then his parent shows up... Oh so now then they come looking for him. Bucking hell!

Your soaked mare,
Rainbow "Drowsy" "Danger" Dash

To Foal Protection Services,

There are come very neglectful batpony parents that I believe you should look into.

-Rainbow "Danger" Dash

Dear Rainbow Dash,

Want us to file a lawsuit on how you treated our child?

-Batty's Parents

Dear Rarity,

I heard that you looking for someone who would looked up to you like your sister. Well, I've got just the bat for you!

Your friend,
Rainbow "Danger" Dash

Love Arrows of Doom by Rated Ponystar: Chapter 1

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Love Arrows Of Doom: Chapter 1: An Archer Rises OR (Equestria is Doomed...)

Dear Diary,

Oh! Love is in bloom! A beautiful life, no impending doom! Two hearts becoming one! A bond that can not be undone!

Oh Hearts and Hooves Day... A holiday to behold indeed. A day of lust love. This year, the Crystal Empire has been bombarded with lovely dovey shit for this glorious holiday as literally everywhere was nothing but pink and red. Minotaurs might have a problem with that.... So this year I thought I try out a more direct approach to spreading love in the air. Doning a suit, a mask, and various love arrows, called me..... the Green Pink Arrow. Excited, I decided to show my new look to my husband, only to find that he's turn off by it.... Does he not think spandex is sexy???? I thought he liked comic book characters! Why did I have to marry such a stiff!! I mean honestly.... Does he not know how long it took me to made this??? The costume is hoof-made and..... I'm not sure why I didn't use magic.... Oh well, I guess he doesn't want to see my other outfits of being a sexy nurse, a sexy ninja, a sexy valkrin, a sexy goth or whatever other sexy outfits and foreplay I wanted to try out later tonight.... His loss.... Anyways, I had to practice a lot with a bow and arrow and a few fatalities along the way but it'll all be worth it. So.... Shippers beware.... The Pink Arrow has arosen. With my bow and barrage of love arrows, I'll spread love and tolerance to all of Equestria.


I mean it's nothing like spreading love all around than mind-control arrows, am I right? Granted, some ponies may end up taking an arrow to the knee... oh whatever... But then my husband has the balls to say I'm going too far???? Shining...you know I love you... so I would love you to shut up!!! Do you not recall who I bloody am???? I'm the very reason LGBT is skyrocketing these days. I am the embodiment of love all around. I. Am. PRINCESS CADANCE!!! That's it... I'm going to cast a flaccid-dick spell on Shining tonight then railing him like there's no tomorrow. And so, my journey begins... and the first victim on my list: Time to ship that vampire with that violinist.

Your elated princess,
Princess Cadance The Pink Arrow

Dear Princess Cadance,

If you try using that stupid bow and arrow to pair me with AJ again, so help me, I'll beat you up so badly that you'll actually think Twilight is a nice person.

Pissed off,
Rainbow Dash

Dear Best Sister-In-Law,

I have a long list of ponies from my secret shipfic folder that I wish to rape love me. Mind making the transaction of lust love easier?

Your best sister-in-law
Twilight Sparkle

Dear Niece,

Please don't go overboard this year....You might attract changelings again....

Your aunt,
Princess Celestia

Meanwhile, at a comic book store, a white mare with a green mane was trotting inside the store when she spotted the latest issue being sold there. The title of said comic stated, "The Adventures of The Pink Arrow!". In the comic cover, it depicted a Princess Cadance look-a-like battling The League Of Villainess Evildoers (L.O.V.E) whom looked like crude looking versions of changelings. Suddenly, the green haired mare burst into green flames revealing an angry Queen Chrysalis.

"PRINCESS CADANCE!!! I am not amused!!!"

Love Arrows of Doom by Rated Ponystar Chapter 2

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Love Arrows Of Doom: Chapter 2: An Archer Strikes... And Totally Fails, OR (Hearts and Hooves Day Disaster)

Dear Diary,

So, I'm off to save the day. Have no fear... The Pink Arrow is here! But who should I assist first with my love poison tipped arrows? Thankfully, I saw a brother and sister arguing so I decided to use my "Family Love" arrow to remind them how stupid their petty arguments are and they should start caring about one another instead. I've lived through so many arguments with my husband and sister-in-law enough to know that. And just what happened instead? I somehow shot my incest arrow by accident. Shoot! I was saving it for Applejack and Big Mac. Oh well, I kind of prefer shipping Big Mac and Miss Cheerilee, anyway... But now that stallion is trying to screw his little sister, so I had to fix this before I get sued for this clopworthy mess. So, I started shooting a barrage of arrows at them, but they kept missing. Did that damn stallion have a power shield on him or something? Hopefully those stray arrows didn't hit anypony else... But finally I resolved the situation before it escalated any further. Okay, note to self... Don't blindly shoot arrows and be more attentive of the situation at hand. Seriously, that could have gone better than expected...

Nevertheless, despite this setback, I was not going to give up anytime soon. I was ready to help even more crystal ponies with their love problems! I didn't just get dressed up in this getup to do nothing. But, why? Oh why were so many ponies already in love with each other!? On Hearts and Hooves Day, of all things! How am I supposed to rush in and save the day? The worst part was that when another potential problem was spotted, it ended in an even bigger disaster! And just how did that happen? Well, let's just say that it started with a blabbermouth spouting stuff that caused more potential love problems due to me shooting him with a Courageous Heart Arrow. However, there were too many to fix at once so I whipped out my Love Bomber 2.0 Arrow (Don't ask what happened with Love Bomber 1.0) and exploded the entire vicinity in fifty shades of pink. This event lead to an orgy party that I will not speak about in detail here, but I'll admit that I'm surprised that the Crystal Heart didn't shatter into a million pieces again from too much love in the air. And now I've run out of arrows... Well, that's what I get for getting a Power V enchant on my bow instead of Infinity I. Perhaps I should stop shipping in the Crystal Empire and ship myself to Ponyville to fix relationship problems there.

Princess Cadance

While Princess Cadance The Pink Arrow was shooting random arrows in all directions, Flash Sentry was diligently patrolling along the Crystal Empire when he saw a poster of Prince Blueblood in a pose.

"Ugrh! What an egomaniac. That dirty son of a b—”

Suddenly Flash Sentry was shot by a stray arrow.

“—b-b-b-beautiful princess! Oh! My! Celestia! He's gorgeous!!"

With that Flash Sentry ran off to pursue his dreamboat...

Dear Princess Cadance,

Your arrow shooting sucks! My advice would be to try some Z-Targeting.


Dear Captain Shining Armor,

Permission for me to have a leave of absence, sir. It’s Hearts and Hooves Day and there is somepony back in Canterlot I want to confess my feelings to. He’s somepony I believe is worth pursuing.

Flash Sentry

Dear Flash Sentry,

Him? Well... go on ahead! Of course you can take the day off! In fact, take a week off! Go tell that stallion how you feel! Love is in the air. Have fun.

Captain Shining Armor

Dear Diary,

Today Flash Sentry went into my office and I had half the mind to send him to his own death sentence. Now, don't get me wrong, he's a good guy, but how does he not remember how others shipped us together back in the barracks? And now soldiers are shipping him and my sister because of one little glance at each other? The only reason I send any stallion to a task that could lead to certain death is that death itself is better than being with my sister in bed. The last thing I need is for my soldiers to contract whatever STD my sister has gotten from her sexual endeavors. I'm giving them a swift and honorable death instead of a slow, painful and mentally scarring one. So, I'm glad Flash is no longer pursuing my crazy sister and I hope the stallion he's hitting on is a nice guy. And man, I really love this holiday! I hope Cadance’s Hearts and Hooves Day adventure is going well!

Captain Shining Armor

Dear Princess Celestia,

I would like to request a transfer and promotion for Private Flash Sentry who has shown how dedicated he is for the position of Lieutenant. I feel the Solar Guards could use a stallion like him in Canterlot as he reminds me of myself in my old days. Why, you could say we’re best friends!

-Captain Shining Armor

Dear Captain Shining Armor,

Stop promoting every stallion that does not want to be in bed with Twilight. It's getting very annoying.

Princess Celestia

Love Arrows of Doom by Rated Ponystar Chapter 3

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Love Arrows Of Doom: Chapter 3: An Archer's Pride On The Line OR (Shipping Fuel Set Ablaze)

Dear Diary,

It took me a while, but I had arrived in Ponyville in time to offer my lovely aid.

But which Ponyvillian do I assist first?

I could use my arrows on that video game nerd so he'll stop obsessing over that Ultimate 11: Super Sidebucks Five cartridge and go out with Rarity’s sister. He and Sweetie make the perfect couple! They accidently burned anything around them!

Oh, wait. Nevermind. If I recall, he's dead after burning his home kitchen. Drat.

Maybe I could try shipping that earth pony colt and changeling I saw walking about in Twilight’s new school.... Nope. No way am I aiding that insect.

Or perhaps I should use my arrows on Spike? I believe he is starting to have a growing fire in his heart for the new dragon lord. Perfect.

Yet upon my arrival in Ponyville, I noticed that half my job was already done!?! And also half of it covered in wet cement!?!

The culprit turned out to be Pinkie Pie. For the former. Not the latter.

She most likely drugged up my dear Aunt Celestia with one too many cakes to get the secret recipe for my arrows.

How dare she! Does that pink mare think she could best me? The Pink Arrow!?! Not in her lifetime!

Only one way to settle this. Thus, I challenged her to a bow off!

Whoever shoots and ships Rainbow with anypony wins. Let's go! Gong Yi Tan Pai!

And I know just who to ship that mare with; her best friend Applejack obviously! Honestly, Rainbow should really learn how to treat that mare right! Instead of hogging those bits she saved for a trip to Las Pegasus, she should date that farmmare already!

Unfortunately, Rainbow was an expert at how to dodge past all those quick time events as we both shot our arrows, as if that will stop me from winning.

Thankfully, Rainbow did all the work for me by leading us to her soon to be marefriend. I had them in my sights. The spot was perfect. Underneath the blossoming cherry tree, the number one place for a love confession.

Ready. Steady. Aim. Fire! And... Bullseye!

Success! Rainbow was now lovestruck for some cowpony ass. In fact, Rainbow straight up proposed right then and there!

And thus, the ship has sailed, only to sink straight after...

Instead of screaming yes, that dumb hic screams I can't marry you and dashes off to find her true lover.

There goes my Appledash fanfic idea... well at least I won...

The Pink Arrow

P.S. I may have accidentally shot Discord with my love arrow. Celestia help us all.

Dear Princess Cadence,

I'm not in love with Dragon Lord Ember. I'm in love with Rumble. I'm gay.


Dear Princess Cadence,

If you were going to comic con it's in Amareica.

Ponyville Citizens

"In only a few minutes by experiment will be complete. Hehehahaha!" Doctor Twilight Sparkle laughed, deep in the burrow of her secret laboratory of her new school.

"With this one way love poison, I'll be the most irresistible mare in all of Equestria!" Twilight soliloquized as she looked deeply in the the boiling bottle in front of her laboratory table.

"This Hearts and Hooves day, no stallion will say no to boning me. Not even my brother! Nothing could go wrong now!" Twilight proclaimed in triumph.

And just as fate had predicted, a stray arrow flew by, one of the arrows that the Pink Arrow shot blindly, shattering the brewing potion to bits. The potion's contents spread across the laboratory table.


“Come on, Mochrie,” Gilda said to her pet as she trotted around Ponyville.

"Urgh. Why did it have to be Hearts and Hooves Day?" Gilda commented, looking around at the various decorations coloured in red, purple or pink.

It was at this point that two of Cadence’s stray arrows flew by, both hitting Gilda and her pet simultaneously.

Gilda gave a large yelp and proceeded to hug her pet and shaking it around furiously.

"I love you so much! You're the bestest pet ever!" Gilda shouted, causing onlookers to gaze at her, pointing and whispering about the crazy old bird.

"Oh no! You're hurt!" Gilda exclaimed, looking at the arrow shaft still embedded on her pet's shell.

"Don't worry! Fluttershy will fix you! She's done it before!" With that, Gilda grabbed her pet mock turtle and flew off.

Prince Blueblood was minding his own business, trotting down the many hallways of the castle. It was then that an orange pegasus guard suddenly jumped in his way.

"Love me, my sweet prince!" Flash Sentry cried out.

"Egads!" Prince Blueblood yelled out.

"Come and make love to me!" Flash Sentry screamed, his eyes glowing a deep shade of pink.

Prince Blueblood fumed at the guard’s proclamation, "Why would I—”

Another one of Cadence’s stray arrows struck Prince Blueblood’s rump.

“—not," Prince Blueblood said, his eyes glazed over in the same shade of pink as Flash’s, his lips slowly creeping into a goofy grin.

Love Arrows of Doom by Rated Ponystar Chapter 4

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Love Arrows Of Doom: Chapter 4: An Archer Is Traumatized OR (Censorship is Magic)

Dear Canterlot Florists,

I'd like to order a bouquet.

It seem to help make dear old sunny forgive my betrayal in the season four finale. That might work with getting dear old sunbutt to fuck with me after all the times I fucked with her.

Deeply in love,

Dear Diary,

Attempting to stop the next chaosalypse proved to be a futile effort.

Firstly, I accidentally stumbled across Prince Blueblood, of all ponies. He immediately started pathetically pleading not to kill him. Some part of my mind scream in the back of my mind to DO IT but I had other things to worry about.

Secondly, by the time I found them. Discord was already in the act of doin—


(Four hours later)

...how Discord manage to stick the sun up there I'll never know...

Well I'm mentally scarred now...

Like most superheroes in comics, I suppose...

At least Celestia is no longer a thousand year old virgin...

About time...

Your traumatized archer,
The Pink Arrow

P.S. Where was Aunty Luna? Perhaps she was in one of her prank wars with Philomena...

Dear Green Arrow Ripoff,

Did you spend four hours staring at me and my lovely Tia because you had a mental breakdown, or did you wanted to join in?

Your soon to be uncle,

P.S. There seems to be trouble in paradise back at your home because somepony's apple in their eye happens to be your husband

To Discord,

Wait... WHAT!!!

Your furious archer,
The Pink Arrow

Love Arrows of Doom by Rated Ponystar Final Chapter

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Love Arrows Of Doom: Final Chapter: An Archer's Reward... and A Prince's Doom OR (An Archer's End... and still A Prince's Doom)

Dear Diary,

Alcohol. Those really god stuff these dazes.

Me think I drunk one Or a 100 of buttles?

Why m I doin this again? Something about Discor— Oh now I remember...

Whelp... Bottoms up!

*Gulp!* *Gulp!* *Gulp!*

wh4t w4S I taLk1ng b0ut AgA1n?

ALs0 I sh0Ud s1ck 2 beiN a pr1nc3s. c4nt remb3r Y. Ah... FUCK 1T!

FUCK! me hoRNy n0w. Wh3Re hu5Bun?

TH3r3 me h0nEy bUn. BucKin de bUns 0f a d1rtp0ne w1Th R4in... s9methin s8methun... joinin on de ACt10n.

At l3Ast, me thunK ThAt's wHut huPPun. I DRUNK!!!

Me woud f1le dIv0rce p4Per5 if me wusn'T h0rni and DRUNK!!!

Me settlr w1th punishin Shining nOw bi FUckin hiM 5illi a5s de Pr1Nces of LU5t. IN f4CT, L3T'5 H4V3 A 4SOME!

b3sT 3y3deer 3Ver h4D WhuN DRUNK!

Your retired hero,
Princess Cadence

Dear Daughter,

Here's my bow and arrow. Consider yourself the new cupid. You even have the diaper and wingspan for the job!

That should keep ponies off my radar...

Your sober mother,
Princess Cadence

*** Five Days Later ***

Dear Mother-In-Law,

I may be in need of that black dress you gave me a while back.

Your daughter-in-law,
Princess Cadence

Dear Princess Cadence,

If Captain Armor is dead. Does this mean I don't get my promotion?

Flash Sentry

Dear Diary,

Fuck this holiday.

Just because I'm a bookworm doesn't mean I'm supposed to be a virgin until I die!!!

Fed up,
Twilight Sparkle

Dear Twilight,

You're immortal, you can't die.

On the bright side, you can now try beating Celestia’s record of the longest lasting virgin.

Your ex-mentor’s cherry cake is absolutely delicious!


Dear Sister,

Mind if I make a large mural depicting your virginess?

Your little sister,
Light Step

Somewhere far far away...

Shining Armor was running as far as possible away from those crazy mares that wanted to fuck him dead.

Two of the strongest athletic ponies of their generation and a lusty alicorn is definitely a bad combo. Especially to Shining's dick.

Faking his death was his only option. At least until those mares stop being so horny. Though that's probably not going to happen anytime soon.

"Well, what do we have here?" Queen Chrysalis interrupted his train of thought, flying down in front of him.

"Oh, no..." Shining's voice trailed off.

"Time for my reven—" Chrysalis was cut off as a pink arrow from out of nowhere embedded itself onto the Changeling Queen's rump.

"Ah!!! Ahhhhhhh. Feed Me with Your Heart you big piece of fuck meat!" Queen Chrysalis proclaimed, her eyes turning into pink hearts.

"Oh buck me..."

Small Scale by Twinkletail: Chapter 1

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Small Scale: Chapter 1: Freedom!!!!

[The Diary of a Slave Spike]

Dear Diary,

Three! Whole! Days! Three Whole Days of doing whatever he wanted. With Twilight visiting Shining and Cadance to babysit that demon baby of theirs and not tagging me along. I'm free to do whatever I want till then. No Chores, No Twilight, No Forced Bedtimes, No Twilight, No Forced Feeding, No Twilight, No Rules, No Twilight, No Sex, No Twilight, No Twilight and NO TWILIGHT!!! But before that bitch-ass princess left, she lectured me of all things to behave and be responsible. Really? Twilight can be such an overbearing and disgruntled bitch when she wants to. In fact, she's probably like that cause she can't get any stallion in bed with her unless she tied them to the bedpost. Desperate slut.

Anyways....Frrrrreeeeedddddoooooommmm!!! Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes! So how do I celebrate you might ask? Well, let me tell you. I'll probably start my day with binge-eating ice cream till I end up accidentally setting ponies manes on fire. I might try pranking Rainbow Dash by getting her stuck in an Enchanted Power Ponies Comic: Rated 18+ edition. I could try hitting on Rarity again. The possibilities are endless!!!

But first, I'm taking a nap. Why? Cause Twilight kept me up last night so she could rail on me. Fucking whore...

Your traumatized dragon,

Dear Spike,

Dude, take a hint. You and Rarity? Never going to happen

Princess Cadence


Look up in the sky. It's a bird. It's a plane. No... It's Dragons. Wait... dragons??? Aaaaahhhhh!!!

That's right. You heard us here. The great dragon migration is happening again this year. Right next to Ponyville. So ponies beware of the dangerous dragons. To help out. We have prepared a list of dragons you should look out for.

There are three classes of dragons you should look out for. Strike Class, Fear Class and Mystery Class.

There's the Thunderdrum, a reclusive dragon that inhabits sea caves and dark tide pools when startled. The Thunderdrum produces a concussive sound that can kill a pony at close range. Extremely dangerous.

There's the Timberjack, not to be confused with Timberwolves, a gigantic creature that has razor sharp wings that can slice through even the Everfree Forest. Extremely dangerous.

There's the Scauldron that sprays sculling hot water on it's victim. Extremely dangerous.

There's the Changeling, not to be confused with the insects, sprays acid on its victim. Extremely dangerous.

And then there's the Night Fury. It's speed unknown. Size unknown. The unholy offspring of lightning and death itself. Never engage this dragon. Your only chance. Hide and pray it does not find you...

And there you have it! So prepare your barricades and happy dragon migration!!

Spike was sleeping/sun-bathing on a rock just outside of Ponyville. Had he been awake. He would have noticed that there was a barrage of dragons flying over him. The dragon migration had started.

A lone purple female dragon flew overheard and saw Spike basking on the rock. Concerned, as well as motherly instinct kicking in. She flew down and picked Spike up. As the dragoness flew off to parts unknown, she muttered these few words to her slumbering passenger.

"Don't worry, little one, I'll keep you safe."

She's Definitely Got The Mane For It by Dilos1: Chapter 1

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

She's Definitely Got The Mane For It: Chapter 1: Razzle Dazzle OR (Shoo Be Doo)

Dear Diary,

Today I got dragged along to set up a fucking concert of all things just cause I'm the best organiser around.

Well I'm flattered. Actually, no. You all can go fuck yourself!!!

Why the hell would I ever help you crazy ass ponies?? Get Amethyst Star!! Screw off you bitches!!! And Applejack, you say that setting up the concert is like setting up a rodeo? Makes sense. The ponies in this town are all fucking bull-headed freaks

Also, why the hell are we doing a music festival again??? What's the point celebrating music when this crazy town pretty much spits out shitty heartsongs every five seconds? Oh and the druggie hired some famous anorexic diva?

Pfft... whatever.

Then the dumb farmmare goes into all Ms. Exposition Mode about her childhood friend and blah... blah... blah... Furthermore, just out of the blue, Ms. Diva enters the scene in all her arrogant glory. I believe I just met Trixie 2.0. Afterwards, Countess Coloratura starts singing with all her razzle dazzle and glitz and glam and everypony are all starting to go gaga over her.

Oh, bravo. What a spectacle...

What a egotistical attention whore!!! If it weren't for the fact that she's a pony with a robot sounding singing voice, her mane style and singing ability kind of reminds me of these three sirens I met back in the human worl-... Hey wait a minute...

Is. . . did I just. . . is she a. . .?

*Twilight's_mind.exe has stopped working...*

Dear Dairy,

After my mind went all B.O.S.D, Rarity decided to do some gossiping to me about how that closed-minded farmmare is complaining about how her old girlfriend isn't the same as what she was like before. As if. Stop sticking with the past, AJ. Tradition never works. Just look at that diva! She's giving hoofsies to her fans. I mean nothing shows better appreciation to her fans than slapping ponies in the face with washable stamps, am I right? And Rarity, how is her outfit to die for? Just come by my castle and you'll get to see my rather suggestive outfits in my wardrobe. I mean my sexy outfits are certainly better than that tacky outfit with that veil and that mysterious gems on her nec-

Hey wait a minute. . . could she really be. . . is she really a. . .?

*Twilight's_mind.exe has stopped working... again...*

*Brain restarting*

Dear Diary,

Urgh.... my head... haven't felt this bad since trying to understand Pinkie Pie...

Speaking of Pinkie, I think I saw her getting told off by that Svengallop fella. Oh well. Not my problem. Speaking of problems, that celestia-damn farmmare decided to approach me to help her own problems. By exposing that wimpy manager of that diva. Hmm... on one hand I hate helping others... on the other I like messing with ponies livelihoods... Let's just say I decided to go with the latter and help the lazyass farmmare who couldn't just do it all by herself like the stubborn bitch she is. Armed with a HoofTube spell, we exposed Svengallop like the complete dick he is and he got fired. Afterwards, I decided to rub it in how he's jobless now. You know, just speaking from one bitch to another.... I saw him enter the trailer and he started whining like the prick he is about how he'll get revenge on that siren an-

Wait... what!!!!! Did he just say. . . ?

So I was right! Ha! I knew it! I knew it!!! I KNEW IT!!!! Huh... that felt... underwhelming... Also, why the fuck would sirens make their mane like that? Distinct giveaway. Though would that mean Moondancer is a siren? Nahhhhh....

So, Svengallop decides to rain on the divas parade and expose her? Sorry, not happening cause I'm here to rain on your parade. Casting a spell, I froze the dumb manager in carbonite and send his ass off to Pinkie Pie's Bakery. That'll teach him a lesson he'll never forget and I'm certain nopony will miss him.

Now, where was I? Oh yes. Time to talk with the siren myself... but if she starts singing shoo-be-do, I'll scream bloody murder.

Always Right,
Princess Twilight Sparkle

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

Shoo Be Doo.

Your oldfriend,

She's Definitely Got The Mane For It by Dilos1: Chapter 2

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

She's Definitely Got The Mane For It: Chapter 2: A Diva Discovery OR (I Didn't Learn Anything, I Was Right All Along)

Dear Diary,

The concert after that was surprisingly dull, I expected Countess Coloratura to summon a seapony astral projection of herself while she sang. Then again... I did have her amulet with me.

And what's with this song about Equestria being a land of harmony? Sounds legit. Everything Equestria throws at me usually causes nothing but harm-on-me.

That siren seems less cheerful after singing though, probably because I had her precious gemstone. Maybe she's worried she'll start singing off-key like those three bitches in the human world. Unfortunately, Pinkie noticed and offered one of her usual parties.

Has that party mare lost her mind!?!

She just lost her manager who was the reason for her fame and fortune. What she doesn't need right now is a controversy involving drugs.

Finally, that diva decides to hit the hay. Time for a little chat. Of course, I came prepared.

I brought some earplugs in case I ended up falling under her spell. I also brought my Starswirl cosplay since sirens seem to be afraid of that old fart for some reason. Maybe his singing sucks? I even have a mirror when she turns into a gorgon during her second phase of attack.

It pays to be cautious, you know.
Yet, before I finished my sentence, that mare dashed with her fishtail between her legs as soon as I even mentioned those three sirens.

Um... Rude much!?

Well, good thing I "borrowed" AJ's lasso. I'm sure Rara would appreciate being captured by something belonging to her fillyhood friend.

Yes, I'm a horrible pony.

Twilight Sparkle

She's Definitely Got The Mane For It by Dilos1: Chapter 3

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

She's Definitely Got The Mane For It: Chapter 3: Confessions and Confidants OR (Interrogations and Results)

Dear Diary,

Netting a fishpony proved an easy challenge. She did nothing but splash around in a futile attempt to escape. Plain pathetic.

Upon capture, the pop star started blabbering about some fish out of water story that I couldn't care less about.

What I did manage to hear was that sirens have lived among us for the past four generations. I would be impressed by that if it weren't for the fact that I discovered and caught one in less than a day.

The blunder on this sirens part was her manestyle. A honest dead giveaway! Seriously! Who's her hairdresser? Zephyr Breeze?

And siren racism? Really!?! What, was she worried that I'd turn her into sushi? That's Sunset Shimmers' part time job.

Though, this provided a unique opportunity. Thus, I advised Rara to confess her identity to her filly friend Applejack who is the most stubborn racist I know.

Chances are two scenarios may occur during their confrontation: They either start fighting each other, or they start fucking each other.

Either way works for me.

Twilight Sparkle



In recent news, in the backwater town of Ponyville, home to the disgruntled and sex-crazed Princess Twilight, there have been reports that the world famous number one pop diva, Countess Coloratura, is a fraud, hiding behind an alternate persona. From the way she dressed to her pony-tuned voice, many were left stunned. Some were elated at this true identity, others seem to loath it, the remainder were just left confused. Though three fillies seemed quite elated by this turn of events to sing for this new Lady Rara.

"I'm here to show you who I am. Off with the veil, no more Razzle Dazzle. I did all the things I was told by my old manager, Svengallop, but all that has changed, and now I'm bold. Thanks to my friend, AJ. Because I know that I'm just a pony that makes mistakes from time to time. Now, I’m letting the true magic inside me shine," says Countess Coloratura, now known as Lady Rara.

Applejack was not available to comment on this issue.

Does this change of events spell the end of Countess Coloratura's career as top diva and the rise of Sapphire Shores? Stay tuned.

In other news a travelling party pony by the name of Cheese Sandwich has been on the search for Countess Coloratura for permission to parody her song, Born This Way, with his parody, Perform This Way, based off of his goof off encounter with Ponyville's local drug-mare, Pinkamena Diane Pie. His reasons for doing this were due to the fallout of his previous controversial single Amish Paradise where riots were caused by many angry rock farmers which led to the throwing of rocks, pebbles and even boulders at his concerts.

She's Definitely Got The Mane For It by Dilos1: Final Chapter

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

She's Definitely Got The Mane For It: Final Chapter: Epilogue OR (Say Goodbye To Another Forgotten Character)

Dear King of the Badlands,

I think one of your demon spawn escaped here. Have him back. I doubt he's needed anymore for the rest of the shows seasons.

Your fellow hell spawn,
Pinkamena Diane Pie

Bonus Chapter: Blood Moon Rising

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher


Be on the look out for this year’s Blue Blood Super Moon on the thirty-first of January. Astronomers squeal with glee at the prospect of seeing this along with the Northern Star later this year. Though most complaints about it were the fact that the moon wasn’t blue at all.

When questioned on why this was the case, astronomer geek Twilight Sparkle said to blame Discord on the color scheme problem.

Nonetheless, what is most amazing is that this event last occured a hundred and fifty-two years ago. When asked why this phenomenon has not happened for so long, Princess Celestia started to say something about Luna’s period before being hushed by her sister.

Overall, the princesses have stated that while ponies can enjoy the stunning view, if it’s not blocked by cotton candy clouds, ponies should also be on the lookout for dangerous monsters as when the blood moon occurs, monsters will start respawning out of Tartarus. Furthermore, the princesses urge ponies that it’s dangerous to go alone so they should take a sword with them for protection.

Dear Diary,

Ponies were so worked up about this year’s Luna Eclipse, yet they weren’t that hyped about my Solar Eclipse last year. Life’s not fair.


Dear Sister,

You already had your episode in the season premiere and another episode with me. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.


Spirit of Loyalty by milesprower06: Chapter 1

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multivers
by MixMassBasher

Spirit of Loyalty: Chapter 1: AWOL Rainbow OR (Planned Freefall Failed)

Dear Princess Celestia,

I had it all planned out. A simple chariot ride to Canterlot, then I could get rid of my friends by pushing them off. But that dang druggie decided to play seesaw on the ride there.

Fucking hell, Pinkie!?

All that meticulous planning for nothing! I had everything checked and ready. Convincing that rainbow lesbian to leave for the Wonderbolt tryouts ahead of everypony. Getting everypony to get on the same chariot with me, of all ponies. I even had reservations at Pony Joe's Doughnut Shop to celebrate after ridding myself of most of my dim-witted friends.

It's not fair!!!

Oh, and Rainbow flew off somewhere whining about how she didn't make the cut in the Wonderbolts, but who cares about her needs? Mine are more important!

Your disgruntled ex-student,
Twilight Sparkle

Spirit of Loyalty by milesprower06: Chapter 2

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Spirit of Loyalty: Chapter 2: Not A Royal Affair OR (Oh, Excuse Me, Princess!)

Dear Princess Celestia,

Although my plan failed, I had to try salvaging what remained of it. Chariot trips aren't cheap, you know. So, I did what I do best. I bitched about it to your royal ass. Muzzle to muzzle, this time.

But, instead, you say I should be more concerned about my friend and that I should leave.


I see how it is. You just want to mentally torture me some more with those half-wit mares.

Well, ha! I'm not going to play your stupid games. I'll leave on my own accord. Twilight Sparkle as left the building, everypony!

Furthermore, why must I care about that dropout? She failed. That's it. End of story.

Though, I am confused why Rainbow was so despondent. She could always try again. Or, are the Wonderbolts so fucked up that they don't allow any second chances? If that were the case, I bet the only way she'll get into the Wonderbolts now is if her wings get cut off.

At least she knows how I feel. Her dreams shattered, her loyalty fractured. Plus, if she starts becoming a social shut-in like what my marefriend did initially, I'll have no qualms about it. One less friend to deal with.

Your determined mare,
Twilight Sparkle

Spirit of Loyalty by milesprower06: Chapter 3

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Spirit of Loyalty: Chapter 3: Encore Performance OR (Concealment Is Not Rainbow’s Middle Name)

Dear Princess Celestia,

Just to make things clear, I did not come back to this shithole town I call home because you told me to. I had planned to go back to my rotting treehouse and rail on Fax Machine for the rest of the day, but since when have my plans gone my way?

Instead of that, I get dragged along to help search for Rainbow. Hence, I let Fax Machine do the rest of the work. Why don't we try siccing the druggie on her? That party mare can move so fast, its like she spams the jump button multiple times!

Now that I think about it... If a dirtpony can catch up with a pegasus it's no wonder Rainbow didn't succeed. Or, maybe she failed the written exam. Not surprising, actually. She is an airhead when it comes to learning.

Speaking of that bitch, Rainbow saved us the trouble of finding her by farting out a couple of rainbooms. If she didn't want to be found, she shouldn't have done that. Next time, she should try a bush disguise. Much more effective,

Hey, maybe once we find her, I can rub it in her dumb face on how much of a loser she is. Perhaps then I'll feel much better for wasting my entire day.

Your sexually deprived student,
Twilight Sparkle

Spirit of Loyalty by milesprower06: Final Chapter

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Spirit of Loyalty: Chapter 4: Friend Intervention OR (Painful Damnation)

Dear Princess Celestia,

We finally found her and we rendezvoused outside her cloud house. Unfortunately, her door was locked. I tried to get a successful force lock using some bobby pins, but failed. I would try again but I had an infiltrator perk. I would have given up then and there if it weren't for the fact that her house walls were made of fucking fluffy clouds.

Seriously, pegasus security stinks.

Breaking and entering, you wouldn't believe what I found. Rainbow Dash, the mare that acts all tough and claims crying is totally uncool, tearing up like a big baby.

I couldn't believe my eyes, but, lo and behold, here she is, a weeping wreck. Crying about how she'll never be as legendary as her ancestor, Orion, whoever that deadbeat is.

So, I did the only appropriate thing to do. I said how much of a pussy she was right now. Even more so than our resident doormat. But, of course, my comment was met with more whining from her.

She could at least give me a thank you card for telling her the truth.

The rest of my friends, however, seemed to disagree as they started beating the living crap out of me when I laughed at Rainbow's despair. Thus, my day ended with me having a couple of fractures, a few broken ribs and two swollen black eyes.


Your injured ex-student,
Twilight Sparkle

At Ponyville Hospital...

"Ohhhh..." Twilight moaned as she lay in a large body cast on the hospital bed. It was then that Nurse Redheart came in, clipboard in hoof.

"You want to know how I got these scars?" Twilight asked with a moan.

"Your friends?" Nurse Redheart suggested.

"My fucking friends," Twilight repeated back.

"Mm-hmm," Nurse Redheart hummed.

"Oh, your medical bill just arrived. That'll be two thousand bits," Nurse Redheart added on.

"Oh, fuck me where the sun don't shine!" Twilight cursed.

Dear Rainbow,

Sorry you didn't get into the Wonderbolts. If it makes you feel any better... I will always be there beside you, through the lonely nights that fall.

Your friend,

Dear Rainbow Dash,

Despite such talent, they rejected you? How unfortunate.

I've seen plenty of these situations before. From students not getting enough appreciation from their mentors, to ponies dropping out from magical school because they weren't good enough.

The pain of the past haunts them so much. That's why it's better for all things to be equal.

Come by my village and I will show you da wae.

Your friend,
Starlight Glimmer

Dear Rainbow Dash,

Interested in joining us?

Leader of The Washouts,
Lightning Dust

Dear Me of This Universe,

Don't listen to those mares. Listen to me.

Trust me, from one awesome pony to another, the Wonderbolts are overrated. Why? Well let me tell you...

Firstly, they failed to stop a Spikezilla. (don't give Spike any birthday presents. EVER.)

Secondly, they allowed a reckless pony to nearly cause harm to our friends (except Twilight, of course) during the wonderbolts academy.

Thirdly, their examinations only had one pony glance at the sheet and graded it straight away. (Plus, that was four generations of shit to study!)

Fourth, they couldn’t stop a falling iceberg when they are fucking pegasi and needed a baby dragon to stop it.

Fifth, and finally, our long time wonderbolt legends are complete dicks from framing others for crimes or just flatout name calling and the list goes on.

Just quit. Don't join. The Wonderbolts are shit. Goodbye and good riddance. My advice? Set up your own academy.

Your fellow awesome pony,
Rainbow Dash of the Prime Disgruntledverse

Dash Academy: School of Awesomeness

Looking for a chance to be more awesome?

Well, look no further than Dash Academy! A school for aspiring flyers.

Situated at the cloud house right next to Ponyville.

The head instructor being the only pony to do a sonic rainboom, winner of best young flyer competition, and the Element of fucking Loyalty.

I'll make you all twenty percent cooler by the time I'm done with you.

Join Now!

The Random Royal Funeral by Darth Link 22

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

The Random Royal Funeral OR (It's The Best And Worst Day Ever!)

Dear Princess Celestia,

Fake my death!?!... Sure, why not? Any day away from my ridiculous friends is a day well spent. Even if it's with my fellow royalty.

But you had better not play this song at my funeral.

I was quite surprised you even sent me an invitation explaining this, given our history. Yet, I feel perplexed about this whole thing. You do this every hundred years!?! A day spent manipulating the emotions of your precious little ponies?

Discord would be proud at that.

I'll admit, though, the citizens of Equestria must be really brain dead to fall for this whenever it occurs.

Then again, I shouldn't be that shocked. What with all the crazy shit that happens in our backwater town due to the dumb hics who live here.

But what about the fucking coffin industry? Wouldn't they find it suspicious that a couple princess sized coffins were ordered by royal decree?

Furthermore, how did you manage to get one designed for me? Was there a buy two coffins, get one free sale?

Or was it because Princess Luna couldn't get a refund for my coffin? You're royalty. Fuck the economics. Return the damn thing, you cheapskate.

Wait. I have a better idea. I propose we use the coffin for Prince Blueblood. His death will be permanent, of course!

Hang on... I just remembered that this was to be a princess only event.

Yet Cadence chose not to participate. Why can't I do that? Her strange fetishes way too much for even you to handle, eh Molestia?

Back on point though, how do we do this exactly? Walk up to somepony and asked them to please kill me?

Your fellow co-conspirator,
Twilight Sparkle

"Hey, Fax Machine. Send this to the Princess," Twilight demanded as she finished the letter.

Spike looked back at her with a deadpan stare and just begrudgingly sent the letter to Princess Celestia.

Shortly thereafter he immediately burped out a message from Princess Celestia inviting her to the castle.

Dear Diary,

Getting the funds for the funeral was easier than expected. All you need to do is put it on Blueblood’s tab and damn the consequences.

I also didn't see the point of telling my so-called friends of my fake funeral. Makes things much more authentic. Plus, it'll be nice to see what they have to say about me face to face.

I could almost see the headlines now.

Princess Twilight Sparkle: Dead At Eighteen.

The Most Successful Assassination of Princess Celestia

Princess Luna. Dead. Who The Fuck Cares.

Newspaper headlines do seem to give easy exposition of things...

But before my funeral party, we princesses had to do the traditional hat of death ballot.

Celestia's card was to die of old age. Pretty easy for an old hag like her. Luna's card was death by allergy to animal fur. Strange considering we're all animals technically. Yet, when it came my turn, every time I picked a very exotic way to die, Celestia insisted that I should draw again.

Damn. I wanted those cards.

In the end, I got death by several extreme injuries to the flank. Oh the possibilities...

I could have my flank impaled by some stallion’s sharp stick, if you catch my drift.

Or maybe I could get Queen Chrysalis to kill me with whatever Terradamn thing she cooks up. I've heard she got this new claw appendage.

Or perha—

"Wwwooaaaaahhh!!!" Twilight cried out as she slipped on a banana peel, left by Pinkie Pie, onto a flight of stairs into her inevitable fate.

Dear "Princess" Twilight Sparkle,

If you want to get killed, I could've be of assistance.

Prince of the Dawn,
Prince Blueblood

Dear Pinkie Pie,

Good job ordering all those randomly assorted miscellanea for Twilight to fall on. Now, we'll be rid of her for sure.

Your friends,
Applejack, Rainbow, Rarity and Fluttershy

Dear Rarity,

If you think that being the Princess of Love implies that I'll love sharing my role with anypony else then, you thought wrong.

How about I show you, via chart, the hundred and one ways I can kick your flank.

Princess Cadence

One funeral preparation later...

Dear Diary,

Continuing where I left off... Fate apparently decided to fuck me in the ass that day and did the job for me. Painfully, I might add. That was some Final Destination bullcrap right there.

Thankfully I didn't get the iron butt after the whole ordeal.

Also, you would think no one likes to beat a dead horse but my friends sure did, with large metal baseball bats. Now I have bruises all over my body. Ouch.

I passed out by that point only to wake up six feet under. Wondering how long was I "dead"? A week perhaps? I was tempted to one-inch punch my way out until I realized that my funeral had just started.

Invoking the powers of the sheep talisman, I was astro-projected out of my "sleeping" body, and you wouldn't believe what I saw.

You would think that my friends would all be mourning at my deathbed. Asking for my forgiveness for things like what happened during the wedding. But no. Fuck that.

Instead, Ponyville was doing a carnival in celebration of my death.

What. The. Fuck?

I even overheard my useless friends discussing how they should raise Fax Machine now that I'm "gone".

Speaking of which, Fax Machine wasn't around. I figure he decided all was lost in getting Rarity’s flank in bed with him and he decided to hightail to the dragonlands to get some of the new dragon lord’s hidden treasure.

But the ponies who arrived for the royal funeral were even more surprising.

Inviting Sunset and her gang? Really!?! What was Celestia thinking!?! They have a human version of me there! Perhaps the princesses wanted to further integrate both Equestria and Terra.

Yet, that's not the half of it. It got even worse once these dang ponies started their eulogies.

Seriously, what's with everypony and their grandmare lusting after Fluttershy’s flank!?!

What. Am I not sexy enough!?! Just look at my flank! Ponies want to get a load of that purple ass.

There was also this dumb colt with a propeller hat that walked up to my coffin, said “Press F,” and left. I'll never understand Ponyville customs.

My situation became interesting, though, when all these other mares started confessing their love for me.

What a load of bull.

Princess Celestia put them up to this, didn't she? Well, I'm not falling for it!

I will confess that Trixie’s idea of using a duplication spell on herself for some sexy fun times sounded very erotic. I doubt she could cast that spell perfectly however.

And don't get me started on Discord. Up to his old tricks when he snapped his claw next to my coffin.

Well, like my ex-mentor’s prank, I'm not going to give a flying feather about his schemes. I won't panic...


not me................

perfectly calm.........................................

probably not important......................................................................................


After my obviously non-panicking mood, some crazy lunatics started spouting about putting dear old moonbutt on the throne and making the night last forever.

Really!?! First Celestia. Then Discord. Now Princess Luna!?! Is this prank Princess Twilight Day? I don't approve.

And how can these crazy cults put a "dead" princess on the throne? What could they possibly do? Kidnap my "dead" body and use my blood for some demonic ritual to return Nightmare Moon?

Anywho, the royal guard was, as usual, useless as fuck even with my nimrod of a brother present. You know, the Captain of the Guard. Gosh, our military sucks balls...

Fortunately, my deadbeat student and her annoying sidekick saved the day with some cheap magic tricks.

I would be relieved that the fake crisis was averted if I wasn't laughing my ass off when I saw what Trixie drew on my face ended up on her stupid little muzzle instead.

I'm thinking that was Discord's revenge on that mare for calling him a klutzy draconequus.

Making my grand entrance of being revived, I seize this opportunity by taking credit for everything.

Thankfully Rainbow left before that. Otherwise that narrow minded foal would've started screaming “Zomponies!”

That mare really should stop watching horror movies.

Surprisingly, everypony decided to pin the blame of this little incident on the princesses for all the problems caused. For once, these ponies are growing common sense. Fucking finally!

Your Newly Reborn Messiah,
Princess Twilight Sparkle

During Pinkie’s Eulogy,

"I heard some ponies suggest that Twilight should be cremated. So I went ahead and filled her coffin with cream!" Pinkie explained.

"Dammit Pinkie." Twilight thought, her coffin currently covered in whip cream.

During Applejacks' Eulogy,

“Twilight was a great friend. I cannot tell you how lucky and blessed I was to have known her. She was like family to me an’ the rest of my kin, and she was loyal to us, even when we weren’t always loyal to her. She was willin’ to help me out when I was in over my head, or give me a good smack down to reality when I was doin’ somethin’ stupid. I want everypony to know how great she was, somepony who really deserved the title of princess. Why I remember...” Applejack said in a rather mechanical voice.

“Will you just kiss her, already?” Rainbow shouted.

“What?” Applejack shouted in shock.

“Seriously, could it be any more obvious you are in love? Honestly.”

"That ain't true Rainbow. You know that," Applejack defended.

"Oh yeah?" Rainbow said with a smirk. "Didn't you marry Twilight after that drunken fiasco last month?"

"Moving on!" Applejack interrupted rather adamantly.

Dear Sister,

Should we tell Twilight that those mares confessing their love wasn't a prank?

-Princess Luna

Dear Sister,

Let's not, dear sister.

-Princess Celestia

P.S. Let's not do these funerals ever again.

Dear Discord the Devious Dick,

You conniving piece of shit!

You think this is funny!?! Well, I'm not laughing.

If I ever find you, I've got two hooves with your name on them, buster!

Get ready to taste the rainbow, motherfucker!

Rainbow Dash

"Hey there, my glorious sunshine. Whatcha writing?" Zephyr flirted as he suddenly teleported beside Rainbow Dash.


Queen Bee by LightOfTriumph

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Queen Bee OR (Princess of the Hive)

Dear Discord,

You despicable dick!

We gave you an island to look after and you gave me a heart attack! Words cannot express my rage at you right now. Your endeavours as of late may have proven you to have some responsibility, but you're still a one-dimensional troll.

Of all your cosmic powers of chaos you could do to me, you gave me a vending machine. You know, those shitty machines that pumps out diabetic canned drinks.

So I thought what the hay, I'll get myself something to drink. By Celestia, do I need one especially with all the bullshit that happens here on a daily basis. What's the worst that could happen? It eats up my bits without giving me a treat.

But, unfortunately, that was not meant to be. For you see, instead of honey tea, I got a swarm of bees. Fifty to be exact.

A cup of bees. How wonderful. Fuck you, Discord. Seriously. Fuck you.

At first nothing happen. That is, until I shouted at the swarm and they started coming at me with poison jabs. They were in hot pursuit, but, luckily, I had very good agility so their fury attacks missed every time they strike. Running and hiding in my stupid castle proved easy with the hundred and one useless rooms I have here. So, I focus my energy to teleport away from those pesky insects. Unfortunately, these bees don't understand the meaning of buzzing off and I kept getting found.

Then I found myself in Fax Machine's room so I figure I'd sacrifice him to the deadly swarm, so I pushed him out.

Yet, after a while, I realized there was nothing but silence. What was going on? He wasn't screaming, "Not the bees! Not the bees!"

Turns out, they didn't sting Fax Machine at all. Guess the bees also agree that Fax Machine is so worthless that he is not even worth being stung. Also, Fax Machine decided to finally be useful and brought our resident doormat for help.

With much assurance, Fluttershy explained that they only attacked me because I ordered them to.

I guess shouting, "Oh, Fuck Me!" wasn't the smartest idea...

Fluttershy also explained further that I'm apparently their queen.... Was all this some kind of one off joke about me being as busy as a bee? I am not amused, Discord. Not amused at all.

On a side note, "Any creature can be a bee if they beelieve in themselves?" Bullshit! You’ve been drinking too much honey, Fluttershy, because your bee translator might be faulty!!

We also found out that the only way to get rid of these puny pests was to find them a new queen bee. Too bad I didn't had some beedrillite with me. That'd have resolved this whole issue.

But then I realized hay free slave labour. The heck do I care?

Eat your hearts out, Thorax and Chrysalis! This is how you control your insect population. Tending to their sole ruler’s needs.

Then, you of all ponies, decide to show up and ruin my mood. What the fuck am I to do with thousands of pounds of royal jelly!?

Bee very afraid, Discord. You unintentionally gave me an army. And I intend to make full use of it. Enjoy being stung.

Payback's a bitch, ain't it?

Your self-proclaimed queen,
Princess Twilight Sparkle.

Tantalbus, Mk. II by Rambling Writer: Chapter 1

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Tantabus, Mk. II: Chapter 1: Bug Report: Program Becomes Self-Aware OR (Status Report: I Can't Even Get Rest From My Dreams!)

Dear Princess Luna,

I was having a wonderful wet dream, and even finally got rid of my subconscious wingboner, when you, of all ponies, showed up asking for help. Don't you know that I need my beauty sleep in order to deal with whatever shit that happens in my stupid town!? And you expect me to give advice on parenting? Ask Cadence, for crying out loud!

I'm curious, though, who's the father? Or do you not know because you recently had a one night stand since you've been sex deprived for a thousand years? Lucky cunt. Or, unlucky, depending on how you look at it.

But, unfortunately for you, you didn't get any. Join the club. And your child is yet another Tantabus. Couldn't you've made, I don't know, magic sheep instead? And now, it became self-aware. This had better not spell the end of ponykind. I may have to ready a time travel spell just in case, though. And hold up. You didn't seek counsel from your sister on the matter. Seriously!?! Is that why you decided to drag me into your own deep shit. Well at least I could go back to sleep, now...

I'll admit, my first impression of your previous fucktard creation was that it liked to mindfuck ponies dreamscape worse than Discord. Your mark two was a Mini-Me version of your old one, but acted more like an antsy teen. It was passable... but I think I would like it better if it was a black filly alicorn.

Finally, we decided to let your test subject go on a test run around dreamland. Did I believe this was a good idea? Absolutely not. But at least I can deal with damage control.

On the plus side, I can invade the privacy of other ponies dreams.

Your Sleep Deprived Princess,
Twilight Sparkle

Dear Princess Luna,

Thanks for waking Twilight up. Her moaning was so loud, it could even be heard past the castle walls. I can finally get some shut eye.

Eternally Thankful,

Tantalbus, Mk. II by Rambling Writer: Chapter 2

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Tantabus, Mk. II: Chapter 2: Error is Reproducible OR (Error. Where's The Porn. Isn't This A Wet Dream?)

Dear Princess Luna,

Your demon dream spawn, Tantabus Mark Number Two, whom I decided to dub TMNT, certainly knows how to stir shit up.

Entering Rainbow's dreamscape, I expected her to have very racy dreams to masturbate to, but instead we're treated to a landscape fit for Call of Pony. That really turned me off.

Apparently, TMNT mindfucked my memories and made it into Rainbow's dream. A dream befitting her enormous ego. Talk about a one trick pony. At least it didn't make King Sombra work at a Seven Eleven. But a mustache? How cliché. What's next? An evil pegasus filly?

Your delirious daughter should also try eating pizza instead of popcorn filled with exotic butters. Maybe it could eat some pussy instead? Particularly mine? At least chewing that is less noisy. Or is it trying to escape from this empty headed mare's dreamscape by waking this dumb bitch up?

Overall, TMNT was doing a bang up job despite not giving me something to clop to. Great use of the silver age of comic books... not that I should know about that or anything... It's Fax Machine's fault, I tell you!

I have to ask, though, did you have to interrupt Rainbow from her dream? You and I both know what she really wanted to do with the dreamy versions you and your sister. Or were you too salty that you couldn't get in on the action?

I also don't get why you seemed so unsure about TMNT. Were you worried that it would give Rainbow a nightmare of no longer being the greatest flyer? That's the least of our worries, Princess.

Celestia help us all if Pinkie ever decides to go dream hopping.

Still unconvinced, you decided to test it's abilities some more. Hopefully, the next dream would actually turn out to be more clopworthy. However, we didn't leave without TMNT sending Rainbow a parting gift. A nice round of Flames For Flowers.

Because who the fuck cares about Global Warming? Burn it all!

I'm certain that the Flower Ponies would have nightmares if they saw what Rainbow was doing. Hey! Maybe I should record this and show it to them! That'll give me a laugh.

Your once again sex deprived princess,
Princess Twilight Sparkle

To Rainbow Dash,

No capes!

Your fashion forward mare,

Tantalbus, Mk. II by Rambling Writer: Chapter 3

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Tantabus, Mk. II: Chapter 3: Further Testing Required OR (Practical Testing Required For Sexy Fun Times)

Dear Princess Luna,

Well, the next dream we went to wasn't worth any fetish fuel. Unless you're into zoophilia which is the sexual fixation of animals... Huh... Aren't we all animals?

But that’s beside the point. This time, we were in a nightmare where Fluttershy was running from a rampaging dragon. Are you fucking kidding me? She made a dragon piss itself once. Why is she afraid of them!?! She deserves to die here just for forgetting that fact. Thankfully, your daughter mindfucked some common sense back into that dumb doormat that, "Yeah. She told a dragon to fuck off once!"

However, your daughter decided to also mindfuck the dragon and gave it a Trottingham accent. Is TMNT for real? A kind dragon? Bullshit! The only kind of dragon there is, is the type to use as a slave servant. Just look at Fax Machine! He's living well. Mostly.

But if that dreamy dragon wants to complain about something it was choking on, I have to futa spell and a growth spell I've been meaning to try.

Overall, another dud dream to clop to my heart’s content. My sexual mood was also diminishing with you and your daughter bickering like dumb bitches. Thanks a lot.

Your still sexually deprived princess,
Twilight Sparkle

Tantalbus, Mk. II by Rambling Writer: Chapter 4

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Tantabus, Mk. II: Chapter 4: Glitch Isolated OR (Wet Dream Cum True)

Dear Princess Luna,

Fucking dammit! This was the shittiest dream by far. Buying groceries at a marketplace!?! It’s so…plain. So dull. So simplistic. So… inane. Couldn't TMNT give Lyra a nightmare like how everypony keeps forgetting who she was? In fact, throw in a crappy grey sweater while you're at it! But your daughter had other plans. Bringing in a soundtrack that pretty much gave a farewell fuck you to the previous dream with a "Dumb dumbduhdumb-dumb, dumb dumb dumb dumb..."

If the beat wasn't obvious enough, princess, we were rolled into a spy plot inclusive of the dumb damsel in distress trope which fitted Lyra quite nicely. I don't get why TMNT made the button that help dispenses lattes exactly the same size as the Big Red Button that launched the missile though... Oh yeah, it's a dream. Fuck logic.

Dramatically, Lyra's sweetie dropped in saying that she was Bon. Bon Bond. Coming here to save the day. Though I wonder why you were silent throughout the whole thing. Never seen a spy thriller before?

Hey, TMNT, pass the shitty popcorn. Let's educate your mother.

Fighting ensued with Lyra swinging rather weak punches. You'd think a mare obsessed with humans would practice her hoof play for when she finally finds the human world. Perhaps she doesn't clop much.

The worst part of this clichéd climax was the world's longest countdown ever. But that's okay, because it's a dream? What a load of crap. I could leave this dream and find a stallion to fuck in another dream then come right back and the timer would still be counting down!

Here's how this dream should have ended.

Three. Two. One. Boom! Everypony dies. The End.

At least that's more realistic!

Then the dream ended with Lyra getting into some secret agent action of her own with very kinky Bon Bon-dage. Too bad you pulled me and TMNT out of it before things got good.

Celestia damn it, Luna!

Your even more sexually deprived princess,
Twilight Sparkle

To Agent Sweetie Drops,

You reveal classified information to a common pony!?!

See me in my office tomorrow.

Princess Luna

Tantalbus, Mk. II by Rambling Writer: Final Chapter

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Tantabus, Mk. II: Last Chapter: Solution Attained OR (Solution Attained. Ask Tantabus For Sexual Favors)

Dear Princess Luna,

Did you really need to do that just now? Lyra and Bon Bon were just getting past all that foreplay when you just yanked us out of there! Did you not want me to get in on your free dream porn you get every night? Well then, congratulations, Princess, for wasting my whole night then! We have been going on nothing but a wild goose chase trying to figure out how to psychoanalyze your daughter. Can't we just cut her open Surgeon Simulator Style? No? Well, fine! Don't take the easy way out!

Well, here's my diagnosis thus far. You managed to make the perfect campy little daughter to do your bidding despite having no idea how the hell you did it. I suspect that it took a shit ton of coding, though. It shows no signs of villainy. It has no interest in entering the waking world, probably because you decided to not make it draw power from literal nightmare fuel so it has zero interest to cause trouble. Unless it's Discord. We all can agree that he deserves it. And hell even I agree with it that the real world is messed up! So stop fretting about it!

In the end, you decided to leave it on it's merry way and TMNT shouted, “cowabunga,” before disappearing into the dreamscape. A job well done, if I do say so myself. Now, you owe me one free wet dream, Princess. Pay up.

Your sexually deprived and pissed princess,
Twilight Sparkle

Dear Daughter,

Could you handle repaying Twilight for her services. I rather not deal with whatever goes on in that perverted mind of hers.

Your mother,
Princess Luna

Dear Mum,

Sure thing, mum! And I have the best idea.

The next dream Twilight will have, I'll send her to hell! Now don't worry. It will have this infinite library having every book imaginable. It would literally be quite the heaven of a hell! But her reaction to where it is would be hilarious!

Also, when you're free can we play some video games together! I found this jpeg file of this eight-bit game starring you!

Your offspring,

P.S. Do you like my new name?

Dear Moondog,

That dream was literally the best hell ever, but could you help me relieve my wildest dream of a sexy orgy party with my nimrod friends?

I did helped prove you can do your slave job right, so mind taking my suggestion into consideration?

Your new friend with benefits,
Princess Twilight Sparkle

To Moondog,

Sweet Celestia! Don't!

Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Rarity and Spike

Dear Sister,

I'm an aunt now and you didn't tell me!?!

Your sibling,

Dear Sister,

You have Cadence call you an aunt and you made me miss out on her royal wedding. I'd say this was a fair trade.

Your sibling,

Dear Moondog,

Wanna hang out?


Dear Rainbow Dash,

Would you happen to be interested in aiding me with my dreamwalking duties? I believe I am suffering from empty nest syndrome and am in need of some company.

By royal decree,
Princess Luna


Recent gossip among the staff in the royal palace has mentioned the rumor that the returning lunar monarch Princess Luna is with a child.

Reactions to this revelation are mixed. The Nobles are in fear of this suspecting that Princess Luna plans to create a new royal dynasty that will replace the current Nobles in charge in the distant future with the birth of her child. The citizens of Equestria seem to have no qualms about this whatsoever. Princess Ember of the Dragon Lands wishes our ruling lunar monarch best wishes on the birth of her child and wouldn't mind aiding in the birthing process citing her experience of hatching many dragonlings with the aid of Spike the Brave and Glorious and Fluttershy the Kind a few months back. Speculations, thus far, of who the supposed father of the child is vary. Current suspects are Trenderhoof and Fancy Jacket.

However, Princess Luna has denied such claims stating that she merely created another Tantabus to help aid in giving good dreams. Her statement has largely been ignored, however, as the possibility of such a being existing is outside the realm of possibility. Such a creature couldn't live being made of make-believe energy and could only exist in dreams as dreams are the product of the subconscious mind. Princess Luna's false claims only prove that something secret is at hoof within the confines of the royal place.

Will the lunar princess reveal her secrets? Time will tell.

Written and Reported by Coranto

In other lunar related news, a new novel titled An Epic Exposé by Buck Haysing seemingly details that Luna's banishment was faked.

He Come to Town by FanOfMostEverything

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

He Come to Town by FanOfMostEverything

Breath of the Domestic OR (Legend of Gen: Search for Employment)

Dear Princess Celestia,

Let me get this straight, there were other ponies before us off saving the world before my ass got drafted into it! Well, excuse me, princess, but deciding that the entirety of Equestria rested in the hooves of six ponies instead of a team of combat trained and highly experienced agents because it's our destiny is BULLSHIT! FUCK DESTINY!

Rant aside, this leads me to my main issue of recruiting this ex-agent; Brave Heart, as a new guard. I'll be honest, I thought his name was Zelda, as silly as that sounds. But I have to say that he's not a bad catch. Too bad he's committed to some mare already; Cream Heart, or Next Generation, or whatever her name is.

My main problem came when I read his personal file. It's a completely complicated conundrum. And what kind of file name is The Hyrule Historia!?!

Apparently, he grew up in the Kokiri Forest, in Cloudsdale on the cloud island of Skyloft, on Outset Island near the shores of Seaquestria, or in Canterlot as an apprentice of a blacksmith.

Seriously, he needs to get his backstory straight.

Reading further, when he was just a young Brave Heart, he suffered from SPS; Silent Protagonist Syndrome, which I recall that our town DJ is suffering from as well. This made him a social outcast, since whenever somepony was talking to him, he can't talk back, making him seem heartless. Luckily, he consumed a lot of heart containers seven years ago to grow out of that stage.

As for why Brave Heart decided to be a hero was either after the Fluttershy's Grandpa, the Great Deku Tree, died telling him to stop camel man of the desert; or when his uncle, who was a Canterlot guard, died fighting off an onslaught of monsters with Brave being the last descendant of the Knights of Canterlot. Or because it was destin– Celestia, dammit! FUCK DESTINY!

Speaking of family, his surviving blood relatives are a younger sister and grandmare, if him growing up on Outset Island from one out of the couple of backstories is to be believed.

Also, like A. K. Yearling (AKa Daring Do), he turns all of his adventures into works of fiction. Video games to be exact. From this, I gathered a working theory that he's such an adrenaline junkie because whenever he looks at the next dangerous quest, he thinks, "There's the next game that my son will get to play!"

However, this leads to the main point of why he wants to join my guard. His wife was like "Screw you! Be a good father! Get a job!" You know, the usual wife bullcrap complaints you hear.

Unfortunately, he had enlisted the help of the CMC for that, so you know he was doomed from the start.

So he comes to town and causes a shitton of chaos. Discord approved.

He hiya’d! the pottery shop in town to smithereens; caused a swarm of Scootaloos to cause a ruckus at Sweet Apple Acres (Celestia knows how he found the mirror pool.); tried to play music to the public, but caused a big commotion when multiple creepy masks started appearing in the vicinity (on the plus side a mask salesman there was ecstatic); and scarred students for life with knowledge, if that is somehow fundamentally possible.

He probably got fed up with the trio, especially when they kept telling him to, "Hey! Look! Listen!" to him and so he came to me for employment as well as hoping to escape jail time by me royally pardoning him.

Looking at his agent file, he was bestowed the triforce of courage medal by your senile ass. Nicknamed the dynasty warrior; I guessing what with his long and complicated history, the Hero of Rhyme in the lands of Zebrafica, and the Hero of Trains? Is that really a thing?

Anyway, combat-wise, he's decent. He fought off a pig monster with just a glass jar. He's escaped a three day time loop and the moon falling by battling a skull kid. He fought off monsters on the Dream Island of Koholint. He even fought his own shadow clone, if that makes any sense. Though I don't get why a death battle with a spikey haired weirdo was worth mentioning in his job description?

His skillset is superb, better than the guards in Canterlot, though that's not saying much. He knows how to shoot fire arrows pretty well which explains why his nimrod son sets shit on fire all the time. He'd make a great crossbow trainer if I decide to hire more guards. He can turn into a werewolf, a bunny and a crappy two dimensional drawing. He's also been to Hytopia which explains his ability to pass off as a mare in a neighrabian dress.

As for mode of transportation, he used to ride on a mare named Epona to battle before he was married. These days, he rides a motorcycle instead, whatever that is.

For his arsenal, he has a sword named Fi, a hookshot that bends the laws of physics (if that game theory is to be believed), his magic wand that controls the winds, an hourglass that allows him access to Seaquestria for a limited time period, a rod that controls the seasons that gives the pegassi a run for their bits, and a harp that teleports you across time.

And last, but not least, a bitchblue potato flute that, when played, gives him the ability of teleportation to various warp points, healing, causes storms, summon his previous mode of transportation, make his wife fall asleep with a lullaby, moving the fucking sun and moon, for pony’s sake! and time manipulation, such as slowing or speeding up time, and somehow travelling through time because hey, why the fuck not!?!

There were some cons with employing him, though.

He kept referring to me as Twilight Princess instead of Princess Twilight, so his intelligence is questionable. And when he suffers major injuries, he emits a loud annoying sound until he recovers his health. He has multiple annoying companions that like to tell you what to do even when they're not needed. He even breaks all the keys he uses to unlock any door. It’s especially worse when his various arsenal breaks instantly to dust due to limited durability, which is a load of horseapples. He may also get into long ass conversations with my pet owl, for some reason. He also sucks at bomb bowling, despite being a demolitions expert. His reasoning being crappy skyward mechanics, whatever that means. And he may have caused some foal named BEN to drown. But... with a name like that, it's no wonder Brave Heart ended the kids misery. On the downside, he may be suicidal since his last adventure involved him jumping into an active volcano at "Death" Mountain. Then there's the never to be spoken of CD-i Incident he did a long while back.

As for his sexual orientation, he's thankfully not gay since he has a fear of cocks.

He can also split into four other ponies who I'm certain can do wonders in bed if I order them to. Well, except the purple hatted one. No one likes the purple one.

Why does writing that last sentence suddenly feel off to me?

I probably have to get him to wear a condom when we have sex. Because when he fucked his wife right into the next generation, months laters comes out comes a C & D colt. And there's no way I want that!

But overall, I think I'll keep him as my guard with benefits since I'm getting tired of fucking Fax Machine’s dinky dragon dick. Especially when my stubborn sister-in-law won't give me the hot stud pegasus sentry in her Crystal Guard.

Yours sincerely,
Princess Twilight

P.S. Why does he insist on being paid in gems instead of bits!?

Dear Brave Heart,

Any pointers you can give me on saving Hyrule?

A Fellow Triforce Warrior,
Sunset Shimmer

Update Two: Electric Boogaloo

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The Day The Reading Died by DrakeyC

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

The Day Reading Died OR (Twilight the Bookhorse)

"Well, that's not gonna end well." Rainbow muttered staring back at the portal where Princess Twilight had left.


"Wait, did you hear that?" Rainbow asked.

"Oh! Are our butts vibrating again?" Pinkie gasped, looking to her flank.

"No. I believe it is Sunset wishing to speak with us," Rarity pointed out, pointing at the book on top of the portal lighting up and vibrating rapidly.

Rarity ran up to the portal and pulled it down, opening it for the rest of them to read.

Dear Twilight’s Friends,

What the hay happened!?!

We were in the middle of our Duel Monsters Tournament when Twilight comes running through the portal yelling that she's the living incarnation of the conjunction between our nouns before salivating into my textbooks. I swear, if Twilight wasn't a human at the moment, she'd probably get a wing boner treating school textbooks like they are some secret porn stash. Actually, scratch that. She normally acts like a book fetishsizing whorse... But that's not the point!

She's ruining our fun gaming session more than when I kept getting pwned by this spawn camping sniper on my gaming channel! And now, she's making a fucking book fort that's somehow taller than the school.

By Celestia, you better explain what the hell happened before Twilight starts raiding bookstores like the upcoming bookocalypse is happening at the end of this decade.

Your Perfect Pony Pal,
Sunset Shimmer

P.S. Please reply to me in this journal instead of all your personal books you got from that magical email-slash-telephone-slash-internet system fiasco a while back.

Dear Sunset,

Yeeeaah. It's a long story.

First off, it wasn't our fault of any sorts like with the Smarty Pants incident.

Actually, technically, it is. Isn't it?


Well, we were only there just in time to see fireworks go off.

To start off, I was the one to see Twilight looking on the verge of mental collapse. I called the rest of her "friends" just so we could all laugh at the shit about to go down.

Yeah... it was pretty hilarious!

Anyway, to drive the plot along, I asked what was wrong, and she said she had nothing to read.

Which I figured was a load of horse apples. Considering she lives in a library, she probably didn't catch much sleep. It has happened before.

Like you during Applebucking Season?

Oh shut your trap, Rainbow!

Hush, darlings! But, surprisingly, it's true. She's read every possible book in Equestria. Which might explain her mental breakdown since she definitely would've read the Inspiration Manifestation somehow if she'd read every known book here.

Relax. That's not what happened here! It's just Twilight Twilighting!

I think that's worse.

Honestly, I'm more surprised she manage to read her entire read it later pile. Cause that's near impossible to do!

Eeyup! Either Twilight's a fast reader, or Equestria doesn't have much written literature.

Yet, somehow, she did. And now she had nothing to read. She's even mentioned that she started reading the instructions on seed packets.

Yeah. Did you know it costs fifty sun to plant a sunflower? I didn't know that until now!

The nonsense ponies like to put on the packaging...

Well, I wouldn't be so surprised. The seed packets were from the Bloom and Doom Seed Co.

She even managed to break into Sugarcube corner to read all the cookbooks. She also broke into my secret party cave and read all my party pony profiles.

That's concerning. That you have all our personal information and it got leaked to Twilight, of all ponies. You should go to jail for that.

Urm... Can we not discuss politics and get back to the story... Like... Now!?! Please!?!

...Yeah. In summary, Twilight was freaking out because she couldn't get her daily fix for her book reading addiction.

Yeah! Her existential crisis here was rather worse than when she found out Trixie was related to Star Swirl.

Though, not much surprise at that revelation. They're both jerks.

Really? Her freakout was worse than that incident? Personally, I think her freak out was worse than when Rarity thought she was getting grey hairs.

Spike... You and I will have words to discuss in tonight's study session for mentioning that little incident again.

Well, Spike, it was nice knowing you.

Back on point though. We sorta tried doin' an intervention right then and there. Using breathing exercises, checklists and even a good kick to the head!

Problem is, nothing worked.

Honestly, I'm more surprised that Twilight didn't consider becoming a writer then. If she's read all them. Why not make more of them herself. It's not like Equestria has any difficulty making books unlike the plot of the upcoming anime; Ascendance of A Bookworm.






That is... a surprisingly good idea coming from you...

Why thank yo HEY!

Sadly, none of us thought of that and Spike passively mentioned how there's still a ton of literature at your side of the mirror.

So blame Spike for your problems, not us!


Well, it's true! Read the original story if you don't believe me!

Honestly, that was quite a relief for us. We manage to get rid of Equestria's worst princess.

Princess Celestia?

No! Twilight! Did you seriously read that Equestria Daily bullcrap!

...Anyway, that's what happened. I think you should just leave her be for now. She'll calm down... Eventually.

Worst case scenario, just put her in a mental institution.

Or an ICE detention center!

Same thing.

Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie, Rainbow, Rarity and Spike

P.S. When are you and Starlight getting back together?

To Current Counsel of Friendship,

Don't you dare mention that witch!

She's knows what she did! We are not getting back together!

Your unforgiving pony,
Sunset Shimmer

Dear Sunset Shimmer,

Does this mean you are still up for that Power Pony Foreplay we had planned next week?

Just don’t tell Twilight. If not she’ll want to come back to Equestria just to watch.


Dear Twilight Sparkle of this world,

Heard that you've run out of books to read. I perhaps may be of assistance.

I happen to own a library that has every book that has ever been written, every book that will ever be written, every book that has never been written, and every book that will never be written.

Twilight Sparkle: Queen of Hell

P.S. Sorry about the bloody writing. Blood is the only ink usable here for some stupid reason



A few days ago, the night guards patrolling the the restricted section of the Canterlot Library were discovered unconscious by day patrol guards the following day. The night patrol had sustained multiple bruises all over their bodies and the one in charge of the night guards that night had a fractured forehoof.

Looking into the incident, the leader of the night patrol guard did not in fact receive his injuries from the perpetrator that entered the library that night. It was merely the normal guard incompetence that is common in the guard these days. However, for the other night patrol guards, that was not the case. Upon interviewing them, the majority of them could recall seeing a purple blur flying into their peripheral vision before being knocked out.

A ponyhunt has since been implemented to capture this purple pegasus pony perpetrator.

For now, an accounting of all the tomes of the restriction section is required to find out what missing forbidden books may have been stolen.

Agent Sweetie Drops

The Attempted Assassinations of Twilight Sparkle by Dubs Rewatcher

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by MixMassBasher

The Attempted Assassinations of Twilight Sparkle by Dubs Rewatcher

The Shortest Coup d'état in Equestrian History OR (Prince Blueblood: Noble Idiot of the Dawn)

Dear Princess Celestia,

You lazy hag.

You dragged me out of my usual steamy book reorganization sessions because you had too much work?

You ruled as sole ruler for a thousand years and you now have your sister to do half of it!

Have you just begun to realize that you're very old and brittle after living so long, or did you just want to torture me by putting me next to your worthless nephew and his stupid cologne? Please. No matter how much cologne that dumbass uses, it won't hide the fact that he stinks.

I suppose that you're only bored with your royal duties and decided to slap a Princess of the Dusk title on my ass. You even gave one to Prince Blueblood as a cover up, but I know your tricks. And couldn't you just give Blueblood both dusk and dawn duties? Then we both can laugh as he makes a bigger ass of himself than usual.

No? Well, fuck you, too!

Your pissed off Princess of the Dusk,
Twilight Sparkle

To the Author of All Beings,

A fuck you to you, as well!

It's your fault that dick prince think there's something wrong with my manecut!?!

Your pissed off Princess of the Dusk,
Twilight Sparkle

Dear Princess Celestia,

Did you have to announce to the press straight away of my pathetic princess promotion!?! I wanted to get back to my books! But that's not why I mainly came to complain to you this time. I suspect that your lousily assigned Prince of the Dawn is trying to kill me.

While I was dealing with the terrible trio’s attempts to bribe and blackmail to make it illegal for fillies to be sent to bed without dessert when it's clearly a cover up for every fucked up antic they did to get themselves punished! To top it all off, a crystal chandelier crushed my cranium from above! I had a sinking feeling that the muffin obsessed mailmare that was the cause of it at first but the horrendous odor of sour-scented cologne made me think otherwise.

The first thing I hear after my head injury is one of the CMC’s saying, "Oh my Celestia, you killed Twilight!" and another adding on, "You bastard!"

Fortunately, I wasn't killed since I'm immortal, like you. Unfortunately, however, immortality does not equal invincibility because that chandelier fucking hurt. And to further add to my literal headache, the CMC started pestering me to make them immortal, as well. So, I asked them to go bother you since it was your fault that I got wings stapled onto my back. Have fun.

Anyway, could you tell your stupid nephew to cut the crap with this assassination shit!?! Because, for one, I'm immortal. Two, he's a nitwit. And three, he has no class when it comes to the art of assassination. I, for one, would hire some white hooded assassin to jump off a tall building and knife my target from above. Clean and effective.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to tape my broken skull back together.

Your apparently ineffective mainstream capitalist neoliberal figurehead,
Princess Twilight Sparkle

Dear Princess Celestia,

Your foolish nephew can't seem to take a hint. This is the second time he's tried to kill me. After my head wound healed, I was in the middle of fixing the mess that chandelier made on the crystal floor. I would've had help but Fax Machine thinks I’m cursed now because of all this apparent bad karma happening. Honestly, I think the only curse I have currently is that I can never die. It was you, after all, that wanted to see me suffer longer. Then, to make matters worse, I got eaten by an alligator hidden in my closet and no that’s not a euphemism for something.

And crikey! That stench... I'm going to need a bath after this one.

Luckily, Fax Machine decided to finally be useful and went to get the Fluttershy for help, leaving me completely alone with the alligator and the clock that was ticking away inside its stomach.

Later, Fluttershy managed to stop the alligator from digesting me. She then proceeded to check on the wellbeing of the dumb reptile that tried to eat me! Way to get your priorities straight, Shitshy. She even had the audacity to say that I should treat my pet better. Well, of course I do! I treat Fax Machine quite well by feeding him gems when he's a good assista— she meant the alligator, didn't she? As if I owned that thing!?! Last I checked, it was only that drugged up party pony that owns an alligator!

Fluttershy suspected that somepony had put a hit on me. Well, no shit, Shylock! I mean sure a lot of evil beings are out to get me, but none are stupid enough to try. Except for Prince Blueblood, apparently. Now, can you please get that piece of shit to clean up his act!? Because I believe he also left the toilet seat up later that night! What kind of a sick pony does that!?

Your annoyed Princess of the Dusk,
Twilight Sparkle

A couple of assassination attempts later...

Dear Prince Blueblood,

I'm writing today to make one thing clear: I know it's you trying to kill me. And it's also obvious that you're doing it for my title of Princess of Dusk. This is getting tiring for both you and me.

Face it. The only way you would ever manage to kill me is if it were in an alternate universe.

Just stop. Or else I'll take Fluttershy's suggestion of putting you in her shed.

Twilight Sparkle

Dear "Princess" Twilight Sparkle,

How dare you accuse me of committing such a heinous act? This is foolishness of the highest order! I'll have you know that it couldn't be me because I made sure to throw away the receipt for that chain cutting saw I bought and it must've been that Fluttershee friend of yours that sicced that alligator on you because the only an animal carer, or a wealthy noble, could get such an exotic animal! I've never been so insulted. I have half a mind to suspect you of assassinating me with such death threats!

Don't even think of bitching your way out of this one, you disgruntled mare. I'll be sending a libelous letter to the press in the morning. Then we shall see who the true assassin is around here. I suspect it is the princess with the ill-thought-out manecut.

Prince D. B. Blueblood
Ruler of the Dawn
Six Time Little League Baseball Champ

P.S. I wrote this letter with my new typewriter. How do you like it? be sure to mail it back and let me know what you think.

P.P.S If you contact me again, I'll sue you for harassment and slander and grand theft.

Dear Prince Blueblood,

Your typewriter in horrendous and you should feel horrendous for typing such illegible writing.

Twilight Sparkle

The Canterlot Crackpot Conspiracy Theorist Center



Dear Princess Celestia,

That's it. I've had it with your nephew's antics. He puts the ass in assassination. Actually more like half-ass. Considering he failed all attempts to kill me.

In fact, his latest one literally caused him to boast about all his crimes he's committed, because I ate the cyanide-laced porridge I had for breakfast. He started babbling on about how once Princess of Dusk bites the dust, he would help plan a random royal funeral after that to cover his tracks and finally he'll be the ruler of both dawn and dusk. I guess it didn't occur to him that drinking a milk bucket helps remove all status effects. Oh and also the fact I'm FUCKING IMMORTAL! It didn't dawn on him at all that I'm immortal not immoral. Immoral, which if you look it up in the dictionary, has his inbred face plastered on the page for the word's definition.

Personally, if I were him, I'd have disguised myself as Granny Smith and fed me a poisoned apple. That's how you cover your tracks by pinning it on somepony else. But as we both know, common sense doesn't seem to apply to your nephew, as he exposed his crimes like an utter nitwit.

Thankfully, you finally used your useless brain and punished him by sending him to the moon. Oh? You send him to his room instead? Could you... I don't know... behead that bastard! Nopony will miss him I assure you.

Also, changing a useless noble for a useless princess for the title of Princess of Dawn isn't much of an improvement. Though at least Cadance isn't out to kill me.

Your relieved Princess of the Dusk,
Twilight Sparkle

Dear Princess Celestia,

I suspect that Cadance is trying to kill me. Or, it might be Queen Chrysalis in disguise.

Your suspicious Princess of the Dusk,
Twilight Sparkle

Dear Sunset Shimmer,

Are you sure killing Twilight will guarantee that Shining would finally have sex with me?

The New Princess of the Dawn,
Princess Cadance

Dear Princess Cadance,

Oh absolutely!

Your accomplice bad pony,
Sunset Shimmer

Dear Kratos,

Mind if I borrow your Blades of Chaos? Turns out cyanide doesn't work on alicorns. Apparently Blueblood already tried that.

The New Princess of Dawn,
Princess Cadence

Little Glimpses by Skijarama: Chapter 1

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Little Glimpses: Chapter 1: Dream OR (Disgruntled Beginnings)

Dear Diary,

It's been a while since I became Princess Celestia’s student.

For one, I'm now stuck with this dumb drooling dragon I hatched during my entrance exam.

It had the habit of destroying anything with its fire breath and has even more rage outbursts when left alone. Thankfully, it always get burnt out from too much elixir useage.

Maybe it'll be useful someday down the line. Perhaps as a fax machine.

But that's not the strangest thing, I had the most wildest dream. A blurry, purple alicorn thingy was talking to me. Rather rudely, I might add.

The princess warned me I should tell her if things like that ever happen. I think it's because her last student saw something similar just before she left somewhere.

I have to go now, though, trying to look for a book at the royal archives on how to train your dragon. Wonder where it could be.

Your writer,
Twilight Sparkle

Little Glimpses by Skijarama: Chapter 2

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Little Glimpses: Chapter 2: Fillies OR (Competition)

Dear Diary,

Well, fuck. I couldn't find a darn book on dragons. I was tempted to go to the deeper corners of the royal archives, but Princess Celestia was not willing to let me look at them without a guide. I suppose that's where the princess keeps her porn stash, then.

Pondering that thought, I was interrupted by the guard who told me my mentor had returned. You'd figure she'd bring back a souvenir or something from her trip to Cloudsdale, but nooooo. Instead, I was introduced to a pegasus who had her mane barfed on by a rainbow. A fitting description cause that was her name, Rainbow Dash. A mare that was to be living in the castle from now on.

O.M.C! What!?!

What's next!?! I'm secretly a changeling the whole time!?!

Princess Celestia is replacing me, isn't she? Well, that's not happening.

There can only be one!

Your one and only writer,
Twilight Sparkle

Dear Diary,

Apparently "Mom" decided to pair me with this purple egghead who looks a lot like this disgruntled alicorn I saw a while back. I need answers.

Your newly crowned royal,
Princess Rainbow Dash

Little Glimpses by Skijarama: Chapter 3

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Little Glimpses: Chapter 3: Rainbow OR (Panic and Confusion)

Dear Diary,

Sorry for the rush entry. Had to write quickly.

I kind of had a little tiny panic attack with being late for my lesson on farming.

I'll admit, I'm not an expert on farming as I had thought, once the princess explained it to me.

In my defence, shouldn't the problems of farming stick to the dirt ponies that run them? Why does it have to be my problem that laggy piece of shit they call a farmville can't be efficient? That's why unicorns are the superior race.

Then my mentor suddenly decides to throw a bombshell on me that I'll be taking the next week off.


She's using next week to teach that Rainbow Dash instead, isn't she!?!

Well, that's not happening. Nope!

I need to be rid of my competition.

Your not panicking writer,
Twilight Sparkle

Dear Diary,

So I spent my "vacation" reading this rather interesting book. How to assassinate your competition for dummies. At least I would have enjoyed reading it quietly if my target wasn't hovering over me as quiet as a fucking helicopter. Subtlety is definitely not Rainbow's middle name. Silly mare. Everypony knows that the tenants required to be a good spy is to hide in plain sight and be one with the crowd, staying your blade from the flesh of an innocent and never compromise the Brotherhood. At least that's what this book I'm reading says.

Fed up, I decided to pull her tail with my magic. From this I found out that using magic on her will leave her scared shitless. I'll need to keep that in mind as leverage over her next time. Then she starts babbling on about how she's seen me before. Eh... Hello!?! Protege of Princess Celestia. Of course she should know me. Then she just screams and flies off.

What's up with that?

Your confused writer,
Twilight Sparkle

Little Glimpses by Skijarama: Chapter 4

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Little Glimpses: Chapter 4: Daughter OR (Wait... Daughter!?!)

Dear Diary,

Hours later, I was about to get some rest from binge reading when I got a summons from the Princess.

I was worried that I was in trouble for hurting Dumbow Dash and the Princess might burn me at the stake, or banish me, or throw me into the dungeons, or even worse... send me back to Magic Kindergarten...

Preparing to say adios to this cockamamy country and jump into another dimension, I soon found out that the good old princess made that annoying Rainbow Trash apologize to me.

Fucking finally! Rainbow now knows her place as only I am the number one student. Princess Celestia is very good at disciplining her daughter... wait... WHAT!?!

I'm so fuck aren't I?

Your screwed writer,
Twilight Sparkle

Little Glimpses by Skijarama: Chapter 5

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Little Glimpses: Chapter 5: Princess OR (Well excuse me, princess)

Dear Diary,

It's been a while since Rainbow Crash became stuck in my life. We tolerate each other, at least.

Celestia once mention that Rainbow reminds her of herself. Guess our ruler stole the spotlight from somepony else too then.

Seriously, Rainbow's ego is bigger than her non-existent title as royalty. She even acts like it! Trying to steal my minion away from me with her hoof play.

She even had the nerve to bump into me "accidentally" today during her attention whoring of her nobility to the rest of Equestria. As if she didn't see where she was going. I know her tricks! On the plus side, she looks hilarious dressed it that outfit! She looks more feminine too.

Your frustrated student,
Twilight Sparkle

Canterlot News Network

Mother of Equestria a Mother!?!

Breaking News!

Princess Celestia is now an adoptive mother. A filly by the name of Rainbow "Danger" Dash, as the young filly insisted her name be called, from Cloudsdale.

Perhaps our merciful ruler is attempting to strengthen ties with Cloudsdale, or, in reality, our tyrannical ruler is trying to steal more tariffs from the state.

Further revelations revealed that the adopted filly happens to be the pony that caused the first ever sonic rainboom from various other news articles. Is Celestia attempting to harness this mare's powers for personal use? None can be sure.

Nobles suspect she is creating yet another puppet noble, like Prince Blueblood, to pull the strings in the background.

Some nobles even question how can she rule the country while also raising her daughter. Foal Protection Service also seems not to comment on such an issue which has led to a rumor that Celestia adopted Rainbow to molest her and bribe the agency to silence. The princess, of course, denied any and all allegations.

Dear Diary,

Fuck the press.

Your disgruntled royal,
Princess Rainbow "Danger" Dash

Little Glimpses by Skijarama: Chapter 6

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Little Glimpses: Chapter 6: Nobles OR (Royal Pain)

Dear Princess Rainbow,

You're a princess now!?! That's great! Well, after... what happened... We're still best friends, right?

Your fillyfriend,

[Research Notes on Dragons 1]

So, I figured that if there were not that many books on dragons, it would be best that I do my own research! Hopefully this doesn't blow up in my face like my previous experiments. As a precaution, I'm getting myself a bunch of parasprites, as I've read dragons are weak to fairy types.

Back to the point, though, research has been inconclusive so far.

To start off, dragons turn out to be very durable. Well… at least judging from the fact that Spike punched a hole through the school ceiling when he was first hatched. My parents are still paying for the roof bill along with my tuition fees. I find this odd, however, as to my knowledge, dragon attacks are ineffective against steel. Guess I was mistaken.

Further observation also show that Spike has no wings, despite most adult dragons having them. I believe this may be because he isn't a flying type. Or perhaps it's because he hasn't grown into his X or Y mega forms I've read about in various texts.

Besides that, progress in getting Spike to better pronounce words is going smoothly. He is now able to pronounce "Rainbow," "You," "Fuck" and "Dash" properly.

If I could only get him to say it in the correct order.

Maybe if I find some dragonite, he'll grow up faster.

-Twilight Sparkle

Dear Diary,

Bored. Bored. BORED!!!

Where's this foalsitter; the lust princess, at least that's what I hear the nobles say. No clue what lust means, though.

I've been stuck in my room for hours and I'm beginning to hallucinate things. The lamp keeps turning into an IV, metal monsters keep appearing behind me on my bed only to disappear when I shine light on them and seeing animatronics appearing around the corridor outside.

Thankfully, she finally shows up, and best of all, she lets me go outside to stretch my wings instead of being cooped up in a castle like some Princess Protection Program. It's like she knows the needs of a pegasi.

The moment was nearly ruined when Blueblood showed up but Cadance cowed him to obedience. Either Cadance is very dominating, or Blueblood must be a really big coward to be intimidated by her. Because nothing says threatening like a pretty pink pony princess. Maybe if she wore an archer outfit, she might be twenty percent cooler.

Regardless, Cadance is a cool chick. In fact, she's gonna show me her toys and something called clopping later! Chow!

Princess Rainbow "Danger" Dash

One intimate sex ed lesson later...

Dear "Mom",

Why do you keep these nimrod nobles in your court anyway? Is it because the bigger the dicks they are, the better sex you'll have with them in bed? Newsflash, "mom,” that's not how it works.

Your Daughter,
Princess Rainbow "Danger" Dash

Little Glimpses by Skijarama: Chapter 7

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Little Glimpses: Chapter 7: Compassion OR (Horny Issue)

Hey Cousin Rainbow Dash,

Let's go bowling.

-Princess Cadance

Dear "Mother",

So where's my horn? Aren't I awesome enough to get one?

Cadance has wings. She told me how she got it when we went to grab some grub after an intense orgy session.

Furthermore, that alicorn I saw looked exactly like Twilight. So, what did that egghead do to deserve her wings? She turned her parents into plants!

Also, what is wrong with ponies these days? When you adopt a niece, nopony bats an eye, but when you adopt a daughter, all Tartarus breaks loose!

Maybe everypony is uneasy because an adopted relative isn't an alicorn.

The Princess of Awesomeness,
Rainbow Dash

Dear Daughter,

Why would you want a horn so soon? Weren't you afraid of magic after the accident?

Your confused mother,
Princess Celestia

Dear Diary,

Great. Now I have to share my magic lessons with Rainbow, too. She's doesn't even have a horn!

But if she gets a heart attack when a magic spell ends up cast on her by mistake, it's not my problem.

Your annoyed magic student,
Twilight Sparkle

P.S. I think I found the perfect title for Rainbow. Princess of Naps.

Little Glimpses by Skijarama: Chapter 8

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Little Glimpses: Chapter 8: Questions OR (Dirty Secrets)

Dear Princess,

Behavior of my idiot son aside, we need to discuss about your new adopted daughter.

Noble Highblood

Dear Highblood,

Very well. I'll schedule a meeting.

Princess Celestia

Dear Princess,

Remember to use that sound proofing spell on the room before we converse.

Noble Highblood

Dear Highblood,

Nonsense, Highblood. Why would we need to do that?

Princess Celestia

"This is humiliating! A prince doing commoner's work!?!" exclaimed Blueblood as he trudged to the broom closet for another broom.

"Can it get any worse?" The prince uttered as he opened the closet door.

"SWEEP! SWEEP! SWEEP!" the large green broom inside the closet, somehow shouted before moving on its own accord, bringing the young noble along for the ride.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!" screamed Blueblood as the broom carried him away.

Dear Diary,

I was trying read up on "The Hundred and One Types of Sex Positions," when Rainbow Crash decided to barged into the comforts of my own home like she's royalty.

Can't that filly leave me alone!?

Annoyed, I was about to tell her off when she started demanding me to tell her if I had any dirt on my mentor.

Urm... she's obsessed with cakes and hates tea?

I have to say, though, I'm quite surprised this mare started speaking my language. Hard to believe that she can be likeable once she takes her head out of her ass. Maybe if she starts acting like that more, we'll become actual friends.

Unfortunately, before I could spill anymore dirty secrets, my mentor barged into my home and dragged her daughter off.

Well, she's fucked.

Your concerned student,
Twilight Sparkle

Little Glimpses by Skijarama: Chapter 9

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Little Glimpses: Chapter 9: Highblood OR (High Horse Rainbow)

Dear "Mother",

Did you have to bring me back? I thought you wanted to me have "friends". I was only having a nice chat with your eggheaded student about your dirty little secrets.

Speaking of secrets, why'd you adopt me? Did you finally realize you can't have children after a thousand years?

You think I should trust you? As if. You're a troll at best, and a real sun of a bitch at worst! But I guess we all can't have nice things. At least be a smart parent and bribe me with VIP passes to the Wonderbolts so I won't care about your ulterior motives.

And seriously, did I have to meet the father of Prince Blueballs? Just get me some popcorn and a folding chair for me to watch Prince Blueballs dirtying his hooves and I’ll be good. But I'll admit, I was impressed with Prince Highblood. This guy at least has more brains than his son. He even understands the awesomeness within me instead of being a royal pain in my ass.

Your high horse princess,
Princess Rainbow "Danger" Dash

Dear Diary,

After Rainbow's impromptu visit, I decided to check on her highness because my brother is too busy trying to bone my foalsitter, and I find her not banished or thrown into the dungeons or possibly both. That would have been a shame, really, if that had happened to her because I was starting to get used to that egotistical attitude. As the saying goes, keep your friends close and your enemies closer, so I decided to befriend her highness. I even tried introducing her to the Daring Do series and I was gobsmacked when she said that she hadn't heard of the series. What kind of an idiot hasn't heard of such a great series!? Apparently, our newly crowned princess, that's what! Therefore, I lent her my signed copy of Daring Do and The Eternal Flower I got last Hearths Warming. I'd figure that she'll end up liking the book so much that she'll have an existential crisis accepting the fact. That'll be amusing to watch.

Your devious writer,
Twilight Sparkle

To the citizens of Equestria,

There is now an official ban on onions in our glorious country as the substance messes with her daughters eyes.

By Royal Decree,
Princess Celestia

Little Glimpses by Skijarama: Chapter 10

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Little Glimpses: Chapter 10: Fluttershy OR (Doormat)

Yo, Mom and Dad,

Why'd ya leave me behind? I wanted to meet my princess.

Your disappointed son,
Zephyr Breeze

Dear Diary,

It has almost been half a year since Princess Dash was revealed to the public. In that time, she and I have gotten along rather smoothly. In fact, today, I kept getting pummeled by Rainbow's balls in the courtyard! So excuse me, Princess Dash, for using my magic to defend from her assault!! The reason behind these unfortunate series of events was that Rainbow figured that since I introduced her to my favorite hobby, she'd share hers with me. Rather painfully, I might add.

You might think I'd be worried we might damage something important while playing. But hey, if anything broke, put it under her mom's wallet. We were even planning on destroying this ugly looking draconequus statue that seem to scream “hit me!”

Third Wheel was there, too. Oh, yeah, I decided to nickname my dragon assistant that since Dashie and I are kind of besties now and he's, well... just there.

Thankfully, our rough housing ended rather quickly when a pegasus filly from out of nowhere interrupted us causing me to bounce the dodge ball into her face. Said filly is currently sprawled on the floor like a doormat.

Dash! Get the shovels! We need to hide the dead body!

Your frightened writer,
Twilight Sparkle

Update: The filly's fine. Her mane covered most of her face so she wasn't hurt.

Little Glimpses by Skijarama: Chapter 11

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Little Glimpses: Chapter 11: Flash OR (I'M NOT CRAZY)

Dear Diary,

Okay, so this mare I just hit is apparently a friend of Princess Dash. In fact, her oldest friend. I don't see it. They're complete opposites! Unless they were more than friends.

Geez. It's always the quiet ones...

Speaking of friends, I suspect that she might be pissed that I stole her bestie from her because she decided to steal my servant by sweet talking with him. Yeah. Good luck with that. That dumb dragon has already imprinted onto me. What is she going to do? Stare at him into liking her?

But for some reason though... I can't help but feel awfully familiar to this scenari—

“Oh dear… is this normal?” Fluttershy asked while gently stepping forward. “Is she having a seizure?”

Twilight remained unresponsive as she stood still in the midst of writing her diary entry. Rainbow poked her again before growling in frustration and worry. “I don’t think so. I’ve never seen her do this before... Wait I got an idea!” Rainbow exclaimed before flying off.

Moments later, Twilight had a dodge ball thrown into her face.

"Gah!" Twilight flinched as the ball hit her, rubbing her face with her hoof and looking around madly for several seconds. “Wha… what the fuck happened? Did any of you see that, too?”

“See what?” Rainbow asked in confusion. “What happened? What are you talking about?”

Twilight flicked her ears numerous times to stop this bleeding like effect she was feeling. “I… I’m not sure. I… I saw something. Like… like a vision,” she mumbled, trying to wrap her head around it.

"We better get to Princess Celestia." Rainbow said with concern.

Dear Diary,

Either I got hit very hard by Princess Dash's balls this morning or Fluttershy is still a pussy even in the future. At least, I think it's the future.

What little glimpse I saw was rather mundane. An adult version of me disgruntledly asking why was Fluttershy getting a bird choir for Princess Celestia. Seriously, hire a rock band or something.

What's more annoying is that Princess Dash thinks I should be sent to the nuthouse. As if I want to spend the rest of my life there!

Your NOT CRAZY writer,
Twilight Sparkle

Dear Princess Celestia,

When can we schedule another meeting due to the interruption of our important discussion on segregating school so that there are pony only schools?

Chancellor Neighsay

Dear Chancellor Dickwad,

Can it, Neighsay. I wish to spend time with my daughter. Unless you wish to discuss this with my sister instead, then I'll send you on a one way trip to the moon. Don't worry about oxygen, though, you're not using enough of it anyway to work that xenophobic brain of yours.

Princess Celestia

As Princess Celestia left the courtroom with Twilight in tow, a bright flash of green fire appeared before Rainbow. From the flames, something dropped from it before her. A note. Rainbow promptly picked it up and immediately read it.

Dear Rainbow,

Why'd you leave me behind with the scary yellow pegasus! I want to know if Twilight's alright, too!

Third Wheel Spike

"Oh, horse apples!" Rainbow cursed.

Little Glimpses by Skijarama: Chapter 12

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Little Glimpses: Chapter 12: Worries OR (Conspiracy)

Dear Princess Celestia,

Why were we not informed of what happened to our daughter? We're her parents! We have the right to know!

Nightlight and Twilight Velvet

Dear Diary,

Lies. Lies! All Lies!

Hate to address the purple alicorn in the room, but Princess Celestia saying that she has no clue what's going on after experiencing a seizure? Utter bullshit! First, I saw that bitchy alicorn lookalike in my dreams and now I see an adult unicorn version of me!

There must be a connection! I just know it! Hey I know what to do. RESEARCH!

Right after I finish doing my other research on dragon eating habits.

Your not convinced filly,
Twilight Sparkle

[Research Notes On Dragons 2]

So, Third Wheel was apparently worried that I was going psycho. Pfft. As if that'll happen. It's not like I'll end up through a door with an axe screaming, "Here's Twily!"

It was nice to know Third Wheel cares for me. Hence, I decided to treat him to some gems. He was quite happy about it. Too bad he doesn't know that I was experimenting on him about his dragon eating habits.

A dragon’s normal diet consists of gemstones which are easy to find. You just need to look for a patch of grass and start whacking it and you'll find plenty in abundance.

My findings from the experiments I conducted thus far have shown me that baby dragons displays low intelligence as Third Wheel didn't bother smelling the bowl of "gems" before digging into it. The placebo gems were actually pure rock salt.

Another footnote is that the gagging noises of a baby dragon sounds like a cross between a hydra and a timberwolf.

Afterwards, I gave him an actual bowl of gems that led me to another discovery: Baby dragons are utterly lazy, sleeping after eating the entire bowl. He also displays slight deafness when asleep as not even the loudest of my shouting seem to wake him up.

Further testing is required to prove these findings.

-Twilight Sparkle

Hey Mom,

Could you steal borrow some bits from Prince Blueblood's personal piggy bank? I need some to pay for Fluttershy and her family’s hotel bills.

Your Daughter,
Princess Rainbow Danger Dash

Little Glimpses by Skijarama: Chapter 13

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Little Glimpses: Chapter 13: Obsessed OR (Insanity)

[Research Notes on Little Flashes: Day One]

Day one of my scientific research. Currently observing for any possible lapses of these little memories or little flashes, as I would like to call them, that keep popping up randomly.

These little flashes have occurred at least twice already for me. One in a dream and another when I was talking to Princess Rainbow's friend, Fluttershee. While the first one is inconclusive, being in a dream, the second little flash implies that they occur when I do something similar to the vision I saw. Could this be a likely explanation why ponies sometimes have a sense of déjà vu? This would be a major breakthrough in science!

One problem, however. I have no fucking clue how to look for the little flashes.

Luckily, I have the aid of my trusty and reliable number one assistant, Smarty Pants! Oh, and Third Wheel was helping, too. What's that, Smart Pants? Yes, you're right! The clock is ticking to finding this scientific breakthrough. The. Clock. Is. Ticking. I just need to keep it together. Hmmm... If I can't find a little flash... I'll have to make a little flash...!

[Research Notes on Little Flashes: Day Two]

Another little flash!

My first hypothesis has been proven correct! The vision I saw in my little flash was an older me who looked rather stir crazy. She was muttering the exact same things I said about how the clock is ticking but she mentions having to submit a friendship letter. Whatever the fuck that is. Then adult me, whom I shall call mega-me, started talking to Smarty Pants.

There's no way that'll be me in the future... right?

What if these flashes are visions of my own future? Does this mean that I'm destined to become a crazy adult that obsess over dolls!?

Nope. No way. Not happening!

There has to be something I can do to prevent it! Doing things didn't work and not doing things didn't work either because these flashes happen regardless. I can't predict the future. So, I only have one other choice. Monitor everything.

[Research Notes on Little Flashes: Day Three]

Yet another little flash!

This time, I had all these charts everywhere, trying to record some weird phenomenon. These little flashes perhaps? But why do I have these occurring a lot these past few days? And why me? Does it have something to do with that dream I had? What. Is. Going. On!

This shit started when I had that dream... I know! Maybe if I don't sleep these flashes will disappear. It's bound to work!

-Twilight Sparkle

"Okay, its midnight. Still no occurrences of these strange flashes," Twilight Sparkle said to herself. Spike was fast asleep in his basket, his snores the only noise present in the bedroom.

It was then that a large blue box crashed landed into her room, causing Twilight to immediately duck and cover. Twilight peaked out from her cover to see the doors of the strange blue box opening with smoke coming out of it. Twilight did the only sensible thing little fillies do and ran out of her room, screaming. From inside the blue box, a blue stallion stepped out, inspecting the wreckage.

"Tick Tock. Where are we now?" yelled a green mare inside.

"Not important, Lyra. The Tardis only crash landed somewhere. Nopony hurt thankfully. It probably needs a few adjustments. Now if I pull this lever and push this button..." Tick Tock started muttering as he trotted back inside, the doors closing behind him.

Soon, there was a slight breeze and then there was a sound, like a key being dragged over a piano wire, before the blue box disappeared, leaving behind a snoring Spike, who merely shifted in his bed before comfortably going back to dreaming of this pretty white filly he didn't recognize.

Twilight was huffing and puffing as she ran down the corridors. Afraid of whatever it was she saw crash land in her bedroom. She had no destination in mind. Only forward. It was then that the little filly collided into something.

"Awww, aren't you the most ADORABLE little thing. I'm gonna snuggle you!" a voice said with utter delight. Twilight was soon scoped up in the warm embrace of some large mare.

Looking up, Twilight came face to face with a changeling queen.

"AHHHHHHHH!" Twilight shouted, teleporting away somewhere, leaving behind a very disappointed Queen Chrysalis.

"Awwww... Oh well!" Queen Chrysalis uttered. Looking to her left, Queen Chrysalis gasped.

"Get your hooves off Fluffle Puff, Chryssi! I'm gonna snuggle her!" Queen Chrysalis yelled, running off.

Twilight teleported herself a safe distance away from the changeling. A changeling! A changeling had somehow breached the castle! She had to warn somepony!

Running around the corner, Twilight reached the bedchambers of Princess Rainbow Dash.

"Rainbow! It's an emergency! Changelings have infiltrated the... AHHHHH! CHANGELING!" Twilight screamed before teleporting away, leaving behind a confused Rainbow Dash.

"What's up with her?" Princess Rainbow Dash asked her changeling companion.

"Beats me." replied changeling Twilight Sparkle.

Twilight's teleportation led her to the basement of the castle. The dark and grim atmosphere not doing any favors to calm the scared filly. The nervous Twilight only made two steps before coming across an odd sight.

"Why is there a death altar in the basement!" Twilight yelled, whether in fear or exasperation, none can say.

"Oh. My. Celestia!" a loud voice gasped from behind Twilight.

Twilight barely had time to turn behind her before a grey blur rushed past her that began hugging the death altar in front of her.

"Best. Altar. EVER! Ooh! Just look at it! The exterior is made of polished granite! Ooh! And obsidian for the interior! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! And the base is made of pure grey marble! Ooh~! So fancy! This is the bestest greatest thing! I love it!" the grey mare, with a poofy purple mane, yammered on and on.

Twilight paid the mare no mind are she was soon running up the stairs, far away from the crazy mare obsessing over the stone that make up that creepy death altar.

Twilight was currently hiding under the dining room table in the fetal position, rocking back and forth very slowly.

"They are not real! They are only hallucinations. I'm not going insane..." Twilight quietly reassured herself.

"Nyeh... Yes you are, doc." replied Twiggles the Bunny, munching on a carrot before hopping away.

Twilight's eye twitch before she let out a bloodcurdling scream.

[Research Notes on Little Flashes: Day Four]

I. Am. Not. Doing. That. Again.

Perhaps I shouldn't have drank that cup of coffee that I condensed the essence of one hundred coffees into. And perhaps I should've had a lantern or canisters of oil to keep me from going insane while running in the dark.

Honestly, I'm not sure if what happened last night was real or a hallucination. Maybe I somehow started some weird ancient pagan ritual that only happens around midnight. Nah. It couldn't be. I'm sure I didn't write my name in my own blood. Only ink.

That could have gone better... Whelp! Back to square one. Oh well. At least I still have my research notes...

NO!!!! Celestia dammit! The ink spilled everywhere! Four days of research... gone! All my notes are ruined! It's all Third Wheel's fault! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!

-Twilight Sparkle

Dear Diary,

It was nice to hang out with Fluttershy again. Too bad it had to end so soon despite her extended stay here.

I mean, seriously, it's like there was a random time skip because there are holes in the time stream.


Great! I'm starting to sound like an egghead! I definitely need to spend more time with Fluttershy than Twilight.

Speaking of Twilight, Fluttershy should really teach me how to be so kind and caring so I can tolerate Twilight's bitchiness on a daily basis. For instance, Fluttershy's so nice that she doesn't have the heart to call the general populace of Canterlot absolute assholes.

Then Third Wheel comes running in, crying about Twilight yelling at him. (No surprise there.) Actually, now that I think about it... what was mom thinking putting the responsibilities of caring for a baby dragon to a filly to begin with!?!

Well, anyway, it soon became my job to get Twilight out of Sci-Twi mode. Thankfully, Third Wheel said that Twilight was just researching in her room instead of what she normally does behind bedroom doors, otherwise I'd be scarred for life. I was prepared to dress down Twilight for her shenanigans, but Fluttershy beat me to it, and boy was she mad. She managed to convince Twilight of all ponies to cut the crap and apologize. By Mom, I wouldn't be surprised if she could dress down a dragon someday.

She was even nice to Twilight and invited her to visit Cloudsdale! Seriously how does she do it!?! It's like kindness was her element.

Your surprised princess,
Rainbow Dash

Little Glimpses by Skijarama: Chapter 14

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by MixMassBasher

Little Glimpses: Chapter 14: Jokers OR (Why So Serious?)

Dear Diary,

Nightmare Night is only two days away and I can't wait! I got this long list of the best places in Canterlot to trick-o-treat for candy! Sadly, my brother is stuck in doing official guard stuff. So, I'm bringing my pseudo sibling, Third Wheel, to accompany me instead.

Princess Rainbow wanted me to accompany her to help prank the asshole nobles of Canterlot. Tempting, but no. In my personal opinion, pranking ponies doesn't end well. Not that I'd know anything about that...

However, my main reason for not joining her was because my mentor was more focused on helping with her adopted daughter's tentacle hentai outfit instead of helping with my costume. I think even she chose her snake costume just to spite me. I hate snakes! This was rather disappointing as I had this idea of an awesome looking Star Swirl the Bearded outfit with all the rows being hoof-stitched, that would make me look twenty percent cooler!


I've been spending too much time with Princess Rainbow. Maybe I should spend more time with Rainbow's friend, Fluttershee, instead.

Speaking of the egotistical princess, she said that I'm a killjoy which I am obviously not! If she thinks that me living in Canterlot means that I'm snobbish and dull like the rest of the ponies here, then she really does have her head in the clouds!

She then had the audacity to make me confess who I pranked. Some things are best left forgotten...

She even tried challenging me to a race so I'd confess if I lost. Bitch, please. It's hardly a fair fight. I'd whoop that pegasus flank of hers by teleporting to the finish line and claim I took a shortcut.

Honestly, that pony… she’s got to be the dumbest Princess that Equestria has ever had.

Your not-a-killjoy,
Twilight Sparkle

Dear Diary,

Nightmare Night is only two days away and I can't wait! I got this long list of nobles that I can't wait to prank!

Sadly, Mom will be busy doing official princess stuff. And I can't bring Third Wheel along with me because he's accompanying Twilight instead. I tried convincing Twilight to join me on some fun trickery, but she had to be such a killjoy.

A shame really, it'll be really funny to light Prince Blueblood's ass on fire. Guess I'll go solo in tricking all the snobs of Canterlot that there's a snake infestation. Then, afterwards, I can laugh maniacally, dancing triumphantly down a long flight of stairs as all Tartarus breaks loose.

But I swear that Twilight's hiding something about her aversion to pranking. She’s normally such a prick to everypony that I'm surprised she wouldn't want to disrupt the populace. Hence, I challenged her to a race so that she'd spill the beans. I definitely would've won it since she'd obviously try to cheat by teleporting to the finish line and thus I'd say that I won by default. Too bad she must've caught on to my ruse, so I couldn't get any dirt on her. So I asked Mom instead.

And, get this, Twilight tried to prank Mom. Yes, you heard me right. A little filly tried pranking a Princess that has to have at least a thousand years of experience trolling. Plus, Mom could read Twilight like an open book. Pun intended. Furthermore, Mom even turned the tables on her! I'm starting to like Mom more and more now.

She even approved of my pranking spree, saying that it reminded her of somepony. Whoever that is, I approve!

Well, I won't let you down, Princess Trollestia!

Princess Rainbow Dash
The Princess of Pranks

Ohhhh Shining...

You are report to my bedroom quarters this coming Nightmare Night to help me in fixing up some minor adjustments on my latex dominatrix costume. You'll absolutely love it!

Your marefriend,
Princess Cadance

The Time Twilight Pranked Celestia by Skijarama

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The Time Twilight Pranked Celestia by Skijarama

Prank'd OR (Little Glimpses: Chapter 14.5)

Dear Daughter,

It all started when my faithful student thought it was a good idea to prank me during an important political party. The pretty purple pony picked the perfect pepper to prank a princess. The Caliponia Reaper. I was quite surprised she didn't decide on the jalapeño that explodes into a lane of fire instead. She had planned to taint a large cake I was going to eat during the delegation to ward off my sorrows at the nitwit delegates from Mount Aris to Zebrica. Sneaking into the royal kitchen, she used her transmutation Nen to imbue the cake with the properties of the Caliponia Reaper and made the excuse of stealing a cookie as her alibi.

It was almost the perfect plan. Emphasis on almost.

I had a feeling something was up when that tricky little imp was smiling throughout the boring event until it was my personal cake eating time. It was when my cake was rolled in that I could tell that my cake was tainted. My cake senses were tingling, after all.

One sniff and I connected the dots of what my student was planning. So I swapped plates with her and laughed my ass off at her just desserts. She should've thought her plan through some more. She didn't bother checking whether I had a taste for spicy food. Especially considering that I've consumed quite a large number of peppers over the years that I'm undefeated champion of the hot pepper challenge. And even if she did succeed in her prank, I would've had, at worst, my tongue burnt off and she would be sent to magic kindergarten for it. I hear the teachers there like to experiment on little colts and fillies underneath school grounds. Nah. I would've played the waiting game instead. That always works for me. My little imp would've probably got karma biting her flank in the near future. Like perhaps mistaking a bottle of hot sauce for juice.

However, the nobles thought that my counter-prank was going too far as I basically tortured an "innocent" filly. They were blowing smoke, of course, as a means to undermine me as usual. They always like to take things too seriously when a joke is just a joke. Plus, I eat flaming solar peppers daily. I think I'd know if she needs immediate medical attention for her tongue. She's my personal student, after all, of course I would look after her well being. But the little imp apparently didn't get the joke either as she started ranting, that when she could feel her tongue again, she'll step up her game and dethrone the Princess Prankster eventually.

So I then adopted you to mess with her some more.

The Troll Queen,
Princess Celestia

Dear Twilight of this universe,

If you need any advice on how to make some good pranks, I've got some tips.

Twilight "Twiny" Sparkle

Little Glimpses by Skijarama: Chapter 15

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Little Glimpses: Chapter 15: Minuette OR (Pranks For Nothing)

Dear Diary,

Nightmare Night is here. Let the fun begin!

One must wonder why I'd go on a praning spree instead of trick-or-treating. To that I say... have you seen my mom's cake room!?! I'm set with sweets for life!

Nothing could stop me! For I am vengeance. I am the night! I am Rainbow Dash!

Anyway, I was looking around when I spotted my first victim, Minuette. Another friend I made here in Canterlot.

Huh... Funny how I never mentioned her in any of my previous diary entries up until now, besides my normal bitching about Twilight. It's like she just appeared one day, and boom, we're friends! Eh, I'm probably overthinking things.

Jumping out suddenly, I scared the daylights out of her. HA! Nothing beats a good old jump scare. Though it could only work for so long before Minuette caught on. She even commented on how I look like Medusa. As if I can turn ponies to stone, I'd probably fry them to a crisp instead. You see, I originally had this awesome prank idea of getting a rain cloud and using it to zap some ponies but the press wouldn't stop hounding me at the weather factory. Most of them were yelling at me for my thoughts about the rumors of the weather factory harvesting pegasus colts and fillies.

I had Minuette join in on the fun so I gave her a codename, Colgate, and together we brought our reign of terror upon Canterlot as the Dynamic Duo. It was honestly a little underwhelming as the ponies of Canterlot seem to have sticks up their asses when it came to reacting to our pranks. Though there was this one food vendor yelling about his cabbages being destroyed after one prank, which was a plus.

Then came our final prank victim, Moondancer.

When Colgate found out who it was. She was very adamant about not going through with it. Seriously? What's the worst that could happen? She abandons the idea of friendship, moves into a broken home and becomes a secluded recluse that does nothing but read all day? That description fits Twilight to a T! Cadance would definitely approve of shipping them.

Eventually I relented, but that was when I had this vision. I was talking to this real pink pony planning to prank on Fluttershy before being convinced not to by this pony similarly to what Colgate said earlier.

Oh, great, Twilight's mental disease is contagious!

Your infected prankster,
Princess Rainbow Dash


Rainbow Dash: Princess of Pranks

Breaking News!

This year’s Nightmare Night celebration has taken an odd turn here in Canterlot.

Princess Rainbow Dash and her accomplice (possibly Twilight Sparkle) were busy scaring the populace of Canterlot into thinking that there was a snake infestation.

This has led to nobles purchasing their bits on the latest Snake Oil product by the FlimFlamBros that claim to eradicate snakes in a jiffy. Said nobles are now demanding compensation for their own stupidity from Princess Celestia for the actions of her daughter.

Princess Celestia's reply to the nobles demands was that they should "Fuck off!" She then proceeded to flip a wing feather at them before slamming the castle doors upon them.

Little Glimpses by Skijarama: Chapter 16

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by MixMassBasher

Little Glimpses: Chapter 16: Visions OR (Shipping)

Dear Diary,

I was summoned by Princess Celestia and Rainbow Dash after I had finished trick-o-treating which was rather concerning.

I had gotten this giant haul of candy from trick-or-treating so I suspect foal play. If Princess Rainbow thinks she can bully me into giving away my stash, she's got another think coming. It's my candy! Mine!

Supposedly that was not the case as I was to meet them in the dining room for supper while we discuss whatever they summoned me for. I enter the dining room to see Rainbow stuffing her face with cookies. Perhaps she was eating for all the snakes glued onto her. The reason I was summoned was because Princess Rainbow also had a little flash like me.

Oh, come on!

The one time that this phenomenon occurred on somepony besides myself and I had to miss it!?!

Though I found it rather strange that only Rainbow and I have had these little flashes thus far. Princess Celestia suspected that somepony may be projecting these visions into our minds for reasons beyond our understanding.


If this is some sort of elaborate scheme by my foalsitter to ship me and Rainbow together so help me... I'm getting my mom to fire her and she can kiss my B.B.B.F.F goodbye.

Soon after, we were eating supper. And Princess Rainbow, despite eating a whole plate of cookies, was now stuffing her face. Ugh! It's so unfair that Princess Rainbow can stuff herself with as much food as she wants due to her high metabolism rate from her connection with the speed force. Actually now that I think about it. She probably gets that bad habit from Princess Celestia. Have you seen how the princess eats cake!?

By the end of the night, Princess Celestia was off to sing some lullaby for a princess someplace else while Princess Rainbow and I were discussing A. K. Yearling's latest novel Daring Do and The Cursed Child. Fans of the Daring Do series apparently are unhappy with the story, calling it a work of fanfiction with most of fandom rejecting it as separate from the Daring Do canon which is utter nonsense. Sometimes, a story is just a story. No need to treat it like it's the end times! Anyway, I said Rainbow could borrow my copy to read. That made her so excited, she hugged me and flew off.


Dear Celestia... Cadance's stupid shipping scheme is working!

Your terrified filly,
Twilight Sparkle

Little Glimpses by Skijarama: Chapter 17

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Little Glimpses: Chapter 17: Boredom OR (A Whole New Reality)

Dear Diary,

Bored! Bored! Bored!

That's it. I'm talking to Twilight. I'm that desperate.

Princess Rainbow Dash

[Research Notes On Dragons 3]

Baby Dragons seem to have a sweet tooth. Most likely because it takes the consumption of dragon candy in the hundreds before they can evolve. I have made used this fact to bribe Third Wheel into doing my bidding. Nothing like indentured servitude to get the job done.

But then I was kidnapped by Princess Rainbow Dash, ruining my plans. Silly Rainbow. It's the princess that always get captured, not the other way around. Turns out, that prismatically obnoxious princess was tremendously bored and wanted me to fly with her. Well then, no fucking waaaaAAAAAYYYYYEEE...!!!

-Twilight Sparkle

Dear Diary,

Yay! Free Candy!


Somewhere outside Canterlot...

Princess Rainbow was flying through the Canterlot sky, carrying Twilight Sparkle up on her back and showing her the world from up above. It was then that Rainbow started singing.

I can show you the world.

Shining, shimmering, splendid

Tell me, Twily, now when did you last put those books aside?

I can open your eyes

Better than Tempest Shadow

A rewritten timeline from one glimpse

That caused my parents to die

A whole new world

A new alternate point of view

No one to tell us no

Screw the tv show

We're no longer in that continuity

A whole new world

With flashes showing what should have been

And when I'm way up here

It's crystal clear

That the thinning air has made Rainbow Dash crazy

Now I'm in a whole new world with you

When we return to the castle tonight

I'm telling your mom of your kidnapping

She'll tan your dumb hide with a whip

So kiss your sorry flank goodbye

A whole new world (Screw that mare for my folks demise)

A hundred thousand flashes to see (Go to hell Starlight Glimmer)

Starlight went to the past

And gone too far

We can't go back to where we used to be

A whole new world (Every turn a surprise)

With new possibilities to pursue (Every flash an upsetter)

Many changes everywhere

As time's in disrepair

Let me share this whole new world to you

A whole new world (A whole new world)

That's where are we (And where we'll be)

A disastrous change (A strange new place)

Made by a mare bent on equality


Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's Princess Dash!

Breaking News!

Ponies of Canterlot came across an odd sight of Princess Rainbow Dash flying through the sky with a screaming lavender filly on her back yesterday evening.

It is clear what has transpired.

Princess Rainbow Dash has clearly followed in her adopted mother's hoofsteps of kidnapping little fillies and molesting them.

Canterlot Mental Facility:

Patient: Rarity

Parents: Hondo Flanks and Cookie Crumbles

Condition: Apparent flashforwards of herself as an adult mare

Little Glimpses by Skijarama: Chapter 18

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Little Glimpses: Chapter 18: Rarity OR (The Crazy Diva)

Dear Diary,

Princess Rainbow Dash is so fucking dead when we get back to the castle. At least, if we get back there in time. Her royal dumbass said that her wings were too sore from carrying me, so we had to walk the rest of the way back.

I am not that fat!

I was about to tell her off when I was rudely interrupted by this crazy filly that would fit right in with the rest of the shitheads in Canterlot. I was about to tell her to fuck off before I was rudely interrupted again by this filly's parents. They were here to take their daughter, Rarity, to the nuthouse. Good. Let them deal with this nut job, but then she mentioned having flashes of herself as an adult mare which got my attention. Another pony to research on!

Therefore, I sent an instant message to Princess Celestia about it. Princess Rainbow seemed to have the same idea and flew off.

I knew she was faking her "sore" wings!

Your not a chubby filly,
Twilight Sparkle

Princess Celestia stood on the balcony of her private chambers, overlooking Canterlot getting ready to lower the sun and bring out the moon when her daughter suddenly flew up into her face.

"Rainbow? What are you doin–" Celestia began to say before a swirl of magic appeared in front of her forming into a scroll. Curious, Princess Celestia opened the scroll while eyeing her daughter.


Rainbow and I found another pony having these weird little flashes!

Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle

Upon reading the letter, Celestia raised an eyebrow at her daughter.

"Rainbow, why did you fly all the way here when you know that Twilight has that message spell?"

"I wanted to see if was faster than that message," Rainbow Dash answered.

Little Glimpses by Skijarama: Chapter 19

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by MixMassBasher

Little Glimpses: Chapter 19: More OR (Hair)

Dear Diary,

When ponies were finally finished prostrating themselves on the floor upon the Princesses’ arrival, we booked an entire restaurant to talk to this fellow flashie filly. The press will certainly have a field day once this shit leaks to them.

Princess Celestia soon used a scanning spell on Rarity only to find her mentally and physically sound, which was a relief to Rarity as she now didn't need to go to the nut house. Personally, I think the spell was faulty. For one, Rarity looked like she was about to faint onto a couch (Don't know why a couch. Seems fitting.) from staring at the Princesses. Secondly, that filly kept giving Princess Rainbow goo goo eyes, so perhaps Rarity is lovesick for a princess is shining armor. Perhaps I should introduce her to Prince Blueblood, then. That'll teach the bitch. Not that I'm jealous or anything...

Sadly, the magical scan didn't help give us any new information on these flashes. So far, the only lead we had of these little flashes was that it only affected young fillies and colts. I suspect that this may be the strange case of the cooties. A condition I've heard where colts and fillies go all kissy face with one another and soon will do all those things that my parents like to do behind bedroom doors after locking it. Most of my so-called clique of "friends" find it icky. I don't see what's wrong with all that. I find all that icky kinky.

The conversation soon took a turn for the entertaining when Rarity commented on Princess Rainbow's mane being a crime against fashion. She should see how the the royal manestylist felt. Princess Celestia is still paying for the therapy bills. And if Rarity wasn't considered insane after the magic scan earlier, she was proving how wrong the spell was now when she started pulling Princess Rainbow's mane. Rarity deserves an A-Plus in my book for this stunt she was pulling. If you could have only seen the panicked look Princess Rainbow was making. It was especially delightful when my mentor started laughing at her daughter's expense. But something about her talking about fixing somepony's mane feels familiar...

"Oh no. Not again..." Princess Rainbow muttered, looking at the dazed Twilight, who stopped herself mid-writing.

"Hey, Rarity. Can I borrow your plate?" Princess Rainbow asked.

"Um, okay?" Rarity replied, handing over her empty plate.

Rainbow proceeded to hit Twilight upside the head with the plate with a loud clang.

Twilight was immediately snapped back into reality, shaking her head from the blunt force trauma she just received.

"Ugh... What the fuck Rainbow..." She mumbled groggily, putting a hoof to her head and rubbing circles into her temple.

"Not the point. So, what didja see?" Rainbow asked abruptly.

Twilight gave Rainbow the stink eye, but replied nonetheless.

"I had a vision of Third Wheel getting a boner from Rarity," Twilight answered.

"Excuse me!?!" Rarity said, aghast.

Little Glimpses by Skijarama: Chapter 20

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Little Glimpses: Chapter 20: Happy Birthday OR (Make a Wish, It's Your Birthday!)

Dear Diary,

It's my birthday, again. Can't believe I forgot all about my last birthday when I first moved to Canterlot. (My Birth-iversary, you could say.) I should've asked Mom for the largest birthday of the century last year.

Or maybe I should ask for a manecut. It's getting quite long. So long that I could let down my mane from the tower where my room is and somepony at the bottom of the tower could use it to climb to the top.

Nah. I've heard that Zephyr Breeze is becoming a mane stylist in an attempt to get closer to me after the last royal mane stylist fainted at the sight of my "horrid" manecut. Hey, maybe Minuette was on to something about me looking like Medusa. Strangely enough, though, my rugged mane style somehow ended up in the latest Fashion Magazine. Now all of those snotty ponies were wearing my mane style, much to Rarity's horror.

I decided to go trotting down the hallways to ponder what to ask Mom to get for me when I encountered Twilight's older brother, Shining Armor, or as he's better known, Cadance's stud.

Kinda strange that I never mentioned Twilight's brother in the two years I've been writing this diary considering Cadance babysits me and I'm "friends" with Twilight. I doubt Twilight would make the same mistake of never mentioning her brother at all up until something really important happens.

Anyway, Shining said that Mom needed me in the mess hall of the private wing for something urgent.

It wasn't me that caused the food fight there a week ago, I swear!

Along the way there, I found that the castle was very deserted. I swear if some squire comes in and says that the princess is in another castle, I'm bucking someone's face in. The quiet atmosphere made me rather suspicious of Shining, so I tried rolling for Insight and ended up getting a natural one. Mom-dammit!

I was glad that I didn't find out as I stumbled into my surprise birthday party which was obviously awesome. There was this large cake, plenty of games, all my friends were here hell even Prince Blueblood was there... tied to a rocket so I could later send him TO THE MOON!!!

No clue how Mom convinced Highblood, though, but I'm grateful.

Best Birthday Ever!!!

Your pampered princess,
Rainbow Dash

"Wow, this cake is awesome! It even has my face!" Rainbow stared in awe as she eyed the enormous cake while flying up with a flap of her wings. It even had her face painted in frosting on the top layer!

"Hang on... there's a note on the cake?" Rainbow said in curiosity, picking up a pink birthday card.

"Well, what's it say?" Minuette yelled from below.

Rainbow rolled her eyes at the comment, but nonetheless compiled. To her utmost surprise, opening the card led to an explosion of confetti and streamers popping out. Bewildered by the spectacle, Rainbow read the card.

Happy Birth-iversary Dashie!

See you all in chapter 31!

Your fellow filly friend,
Pinkie Pie

Princess Rainbow stared blankly at the card, "Wha-what!?!"

Dear Diary,

Too bad Princess Rainbow couldn't make my own birthday wish come true. I would've liked her to eat my special cake. She'll find that it has a lot of cream squirting out once she bites into it.

Twilight Sparkle

Canterlot News Network

Birthday Cake Massacre!!!

Breaking News!

In the latest Canterlot gossip, Princess Celestia and her daughter were found stealing forty cakes! They took forty cakes at the local cakeshop! And that's terrible.

Reports up in the castle indicate that it was done due to Princess Celestia wanting to further celebrate Princess Dash's birthday. It was later found out that the cakes were meant for various snooty nobles around Canterlot which has led to further outrage in the nobility, but increased approval ratings by the rest of the populace. One noble by the name of Lex Leather approved of this incident, however.

In other news, the mane style of Princess Dash is still in the now... get your lawnmowers and let em rip to your old mane style.

Little Glimpses by Skijarama: Chapter 21

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Little Glimpses: Chapter 21: Returning Home OR (Throw Down in Cloudsdale)

Dear Diary,

We are going to Whinny Land!

Just kidding!

We were going to Whinny Land but Princess Rainbow just had to get homesick so now we're going to Cloudsdale instead. Stupid fucking bitch.

You know I can see what you're writing, right?


Oh yeah... I forgot to mention... Princess Celestia suddenly had the bright idea that her daughter and I would get along better if we could message each other through our diaries whenever we write in them. Also, she'll be reading them to see the progress of our bonding.

I'd give it a week at most before this idea crashes and burns to the ground. At least it's not something more stupid like friendship letters. Regardless, Princess Celestia is a dick for doing both these shitty things.

Third Wheel you didn't write down that last part right? No? Good.

You're getting Third Wheel to help you write this!?! At least I bother to write these myself?

Show off!


Anyways, Whinebow Dash wouldn't stop complaining how slow the trip was to Cloudsdale. I've heard that some dirt pony in a rock farm was making cannons so if she wanted to get there any faster, she could always get a cannon and shoot herself there. Worst case scenario, she loses an eye. Not that I'd care, mind you.

Nah. No way I'd lose an eye for a dumb stunt like that! It'd probably be from fighting a griffon bounty hunter or something.


Though, honestly, I'm so excited to finally come back to Cloudsdale.

Yeah... Cloudsdale. A place where the crime rate is at a constant high, since robbers can go through the cloud walls with ease.

Hey! At least donut shop here is even better than Donut Joe’s!


No. Accurate. But what really surprised me was that Mom knew about the secret griffin hideout. Seriously, who tattled!?! Because the first rule of Flight Club is not to talk about the Flight Club's secret hideout. But this also made me realize how my mother is an old ass lady. Maybe I should get her prune juice next Hearths Warming...

She's not that old...

Twilight. My mama is so old that her first Hearth’s Warming was the actual first Hearth’s Warming!


Moving on, Rainbow was ecstatic to return to Cloudsdale. Especially since she could finally see her marefriend again.

She's not my marefriend!

Sure, she isn't.

Urgh! Mom should've let you fall to your death instead of reminding you to cast that cloud-walking spell!

Screw you! Let's just go find your marefriend's house now!

-Twilight Sparkle & Whinebow Dash


-Twilight Dorkle & Rainbow Dash

Hey! Quit it!

No you quit it!





"That's it!" Twilight screamed before tackling Princess Rainbow Dash onto the cloudy floor.

Princess Celestia merely facehoofed at this turn of events.

A few days after the Return to Cloudsdale Arc...

Canterlot News Network

Princess Dash Exposed!?!

Breaking News!

A photographer of our news network managed to get a snapshot of Princess Rainbow Dash during her royal visit to Cloudsdale which showed Princess Dash and Twilight Sparkle hugging each other on the cloudy floor in front of Princess Celestia.

This can only mean one thing. Princess Rainbow is in a secret relationship with her mother's protege and it has already gone past first base with Princess Celestia watching them doing the deed. This also finally confirms that our solar monarch is an actual pervert!

Stay tuned for more at CNN.BS.

To My Most Faithful Student,

Be honest with me. Do you think I'm old?

-Princess Celestia

Dear Princess Celestia,

I'll never tell a lie. I'm always honest with you, Princess.

-Twilight Sparkle

To My Most Unreliable Student,

You didn't answer the question...

-Princess Celestia

Highblood bolted upright from his bed when he heard the sounds of a loud crash. Dashing to the source of it, Highblood found himself in his son's room.

Looking inside, Highblood was met with a broken golden rocket ship smashed through the windows of the bedroom. From the rocket, a young Prince Blueblood tumbled out, who proceeded to face plant on the floor. On his head, there was a note.

To whom it may concern,

Don't send your trash to the glorious moon. There are people living here.

General Lunaris
Moonlander of Tranquility

Little Glimpses by Skijarama: Chapter 22

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Little Glimpses: Chapter 22: Visiting Friends OR (Fluttershy Flashes Herself)

Dear Diary,

So, Princess Celestia had enough of our squabbling earlier and left us both at Fluttershy's place to visit the Rainbow Factory for the fortnightly foal fatality rate there.

I think she's still mad about me tackling her daughter...

I can still read what you write, you know.

Ignoring you!

When we met up with Fluttershy finally, she introduced us to her retarded brother; Zephyr Breeze.


Well he is! How could he notice you and not my fine purple ass.


Seriously Twilight?

Yeah seriously! What's with every foal in this pushover of a family wanting a piece of that rainbow ass!?!

Fluttershy and I are not an item! And that goes for Zephyr, too!

Sure... Keep telling yourself that. Anyway, Fluttershy, like the doormat she is, welcomed us into her home and we ended up playing a board game that Princess Rainbow sucks at.

That game was rigged, I tell you!

Nah. You need to get good.

We were going to play a game of hangpony with Zephyr as our volunteer...

That was something I could definitely get behind!

When Fluttershy was suddenly flashing herself at us.

Couldn’t you have worded that a little better?

I don't care.

Fluttershy's flash was apparently of her trying and obviously failing to give a loud cheer for her marefriend. No surprise there since one of my fucking flashes from the far future showed that Adultshy was still a chump. And seeing her family? It's no surprise why. I mean, I wouldn't be surprised at all if this whole family freaks out and screams just by a leaf falling silently on their backs. No, seriously? A. Fucking. Leaf.

That's all for now because I have to record these new findings for this latest flash...

Twilight, you had better not write my name wrong again...

-Twilight Sparkle & Rainbow Dash

& Spike

Third Wheel! Fuck off. Nopony cares about you!

Little Glimpses by Skijarama: Chapter 23

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Little Glimpses: Chapter 23: Royal 'Privileges' OR (Twilight's Royal Privilege)

Dear Diary,

Rainbow, I'm not having another flash just now! I was only zoning out after recording down Fluttershy's flash.

Oh. That's too bad. I was gonna smack your dumb face with something hard again...


Ehhh... I was only talking about how I was going to do this awesome flying stunt later with Fluttershy!

Yeah, I know. I was there to see your superb stunt.

No. You were only there to record my flying patterns since you had flashes of your adult-self with wings.


Hey, Third Wheel? Write down a reminder for me to smack Twilight in the face later.

Third Wheel don't write that down!

Anyhow, I was doing all these awesome stunts like my "Super-Speed Strut, the "Fantastic Filly Flash," the "Rainblow Dry," and the "Buccaneer Blaze," but Fluttershy's cheering seemed rather unexcited even after coaching her to cheer earlier.

You do realize that she was more concerned about that sudden flash she had earlier?

Oh yeah...

Also, she was definitely excited. From my awesome observation skills, I could tell that Fluttershy was excited as she seemed to be standing a bit taller than normal. Her wings were open, a sign of excitement among Pegasi, as far as I know, and there was this shimmer in her eyes.

... So was that really pure observational skills or was it due to that magic amulet that you "borrowed" from Mom's royal defense attorney which allows the user to "perceive" subtle hints of tension in a pony?

Nooo...You're only saying that because you're jealous that I was inspecting your marefriend?

How many times do I have to tell you! She's not my marefriend! Can you stop mentioning that!?

Would you rather I mention how you nearly injured yourself from one of your stunts?

Hey, Third Wheel? Write another reminder for me to really bitch slap Twilight's dumb face for using magic on me.

Hey! I saved your life! You owe me one now! And, Third Wheel, don't write that down either!

Hey! You're the asshole that keeps insulting me! Can you cut it out?

Speaking of insulting, when Fluttershy and I were attempting a nice rope/bandage bondage session on a disabled pony, Yes you, Rainbow, we were rudely interrupted by two illiterate retards who started making fun of you.

Their names are Hoops and Dumbbell. But calling them retards suits them, too.

And why hasn't the Rainbow Factory taken care of these dipshits, yet?

Maybe because they're so dysfunctional and one-dimensional that it'd break the rainbow making machine?


Though, I'm surprised that you help me by bringing down the Royal Equestrian Law on their stupid asses.

First off, I was lying the whole time. Secondly, I was only doing it so that you now owe me two favors that I intend to cash in immediately. Once we get you to the hospital, we'll be doing some sexy fun patient-nurse roleplay!


Exactly what we're doing later! But first, I'm gonna have to ask my foalsitter to remove those two little shitheads out of her shipping chart. We can't have their idiot genes spreading onto the next generation.

I don't know... Pony Life seems to have already caught on.


That wasn't me, I swear!

Then who...???

That's all folks!



Breaking News!

Princess Rainbow Dash was assaulted by two pegasus colts during her royal visit to Cloudsdale!

These disgusting scum have since been identified as Hoops and Dumbass when we interviewed Princess Dash, who is currently recovering in the Cloudsdale hospital for her injured wing from the appalling assault.

"How fitting that young colts with balls for cutie marks would act this way..." commented Lightning Dust, a classmate to the disgusting duo.

With what has been revealed thus far, these disgusting colts will be lucky if they could even get a job in the weather factory in the future with their actions this day.

Stay tuned for more at CNN.BS!

Little Glimpses by Skijarama: Chapter 24

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Little Glimpses: Chapter 24: Endings, Beginnings OR (Cutie Re-Mark Part 3)

Dear Diary,


Rainbow! You've been yelling that these past four days you've been in the hospital!

But I am bored!

Quit your complaining! At least today's the day you'll be released.

True. And at least the four days I spent here, I've been getting lots of fan mail from my adoring fans. In fact, there's this one filly that says she's my biggest fan! She's from Ponyville and her parents are very famous, though they are not always around to support her, but she has big dreams like me! She even started the Rainbow Dash Fan club.

Really? What's her name?

Diamond Tiara! As I was saying, I'm kinda bummed out since Mom told me that I won't be visiting Cloudsdale for a long while.

I suspect Princess Celestia doesn't approve of your choice of a marefriend...

Yeah... Hey! I keep telling you! She's not my marefriend!

You're lying.

No! I'm not!

Then why did you agree to Fluttershy's suggestion of going to the old racing rings at the flight academy after you healed up? You know... the one where you fought for Fluttershy's honor.

Urgh!!! You spend too much time with Cadance!

I'll take that as a compliment. Hopefully, this will stop her from shipping us together, also...

What'd ya say?

Nothing! I was just talking about how you later brought us to the place where you farted out your magical rainbooom.

I did not fart it out!

You made a loud noise that came out from behind you that everypony saw as an explosion of gas. It's a fart.

Urgh! You're giving me a headache from all this.

Wait... you too!?!

Yeah.. why?

Are you also hearing weird whispers in the win-

"Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear." Fluttershy muttered as she looked back and forth at her two fillyfriends that were currently shaking profusely.

"Oh, I know!" Fluttershy yelled, an idea forming. "I’ve seen Rainbow doing this all the time to Twilight so this should work."

With that, Fluttershy grabbed a nearby shovel and aimed it at her friends’ heads.

Thunk! Thunk!

Princess Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle immediately slumped upon the clouds overlooking the course where Rainbow Dash had performed the sonic rainboom...

"Oops..." Fluttershy uttered, realizing that she may have overdone it.

Little Glimpses by Skijarama: Chapter 25

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Little Glimpses: Chapter 25: Waking up OR (Rainbow's Had Enough)

Dear Diary,

I've been unconscious for four days! Four days! After spending four days in the hospital! Life is so unfair!

On the plus side though, Twilight's still unconscious so I won't have to hear her yammering here for a while.

Mom was worried that the concession I'd gotten could've led to me getting amnesia. Ha! Like I would get amnesia. That sounds like something that would happen to Twilight at some point in the future. Not me. Though that flash I had was concerning. It showed an adult alicorn Twilight yelling at a pink unicorn. Though why only Twilight and I were affected and not Fluttershy I have no clue... Maybe her butterfly cutie mark makes her unaffected by the butterfly effect? Theories aside, Mom then accidentally revealed something that she says she can't tell me yet.

Oh, Tartarus no!

I can accept that my birth parents are dead! I can accept these weird flashes me and my friends keep getting! Hell, I can even accept my mom being known as a molesting MILF, an enormous troll and a tyrant to those stinking half-brained nobles! But keeping fucking secrets from her own fucking adopted daughter!?! That's where I draw the line! Cut the crap and tell me what's going ON!

My yelling seemed to work as Mom finally revealed that she had a secret sister nopony knew about. Princess Luna, otherwise known as Nightmare Moon, and her jealousy of Mom made her turn evil. Apparently due to the duality of the mind of an alicorn, her jealousy mixed with her enhanced magic allowed the monstrous shadows of her envy to take form. This is rather concerning as this may happen to Princess Cadance soon because if she keeps fucking with Twilight's brother everyday, we'll end up facing an evil succubus conquering Equestria when her lust truly manifests itself. That aside, I think this revelation would have been twenty percent cooler if, in the beginning, there were these mysterious journals I'd find that catalogs the weird stuff across Equestria written by a mysterious author revealed later to be a long lost sister; Aunty Luna.

Anyway, Aunty Luna is currently on the moon probably trying to colonize it into an awesome domed city in her thousand year absence. Leaving Mom with all the work. She honestly sounds like she's a really cool aunt that bucks responsibility in the head. Meanwhile, I got this stick up her flank mother.

Life is so unfair!

Your unlucky princess,
Princess Rainbow Dash

Dear Mom,

So there aren't any more secrets you're keeping from me?

Your daughter,
Princess Rainbow Dash

Dear Daughter,

Yes. No more secrets.

Princess Celestia

Dear Princess Rainbow,

Don't believe her. She's lying.

Your otherworldly friend,
Sunset Shimmer

Little Glimpses by Skijarama: Chapter 26

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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Little Glimpses: Chapter 26: Finding Sunburst OR (Useless Sunburst)

Dear Diary,

It's been weeks and Twilight hasn't woken from her coma yet. And I'm strangely starting to miss her. Mainly because I don't have anypony around my age to complain about shit. Cadance suggested that true love's first kiss might wake her up from her deep sleep, but, by Mom, there's no way I'm kissing that mouth! Who knows what that slut has put in there!

Hence why I was spending my time sulking on a cloud and stalking ponies on a cloud. It was then I spotted an orange colt by the name of Sunburst. (Insert A Twilight Sexual Innuendo Here.) That was being harassed by potential marefriend to my old bullies. But what really got my attention was his name. It was mentioned by that pink unicorn, so there might be some connection.

I brought him to Mom to interrogate, but it turned out he knew jackshit about the adult Starlight that me and Twilight saw. How fitting that this colt with useless magical power is an even more useless lead in our investigations to these little flashes. Hopefully visiting this filly Starlight may prove beneficial in our investigation instead of the entire thing blowing up to little tiny fragments.

For now, perhaps, I should make good use of this useless colt. Maybe I could paint Sunburst purple and he'll be the replacement Twilight in the meantime since he can't use magic.

Your scheming princess,
Princess Rainbow Dash