• Published 7th Nov 2015
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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse - MixMassBasher

Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia's most prized and faithful student, is being sent to Ponyville to learn about the magic of friendship. And she's not happy about it.

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The Most Annoying Infestation by ocalhoun

Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

The Most Annoying Infestation OR (The Adventures of Thundernight Moonglade Kerfluffle Fangling The Magnificent)

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

Do you remember last Nightmare Night when I was dared into playing the midnight game? Nothing happen to me at all that day but now it appears that incident is now biting me back in the plot. Hard. These last couple of nights have been rather weird for me. All of my stuff keeps getting misplaced here and there, an IV appears around the side of my cloud bed now and then and I hallucinate angry animatronics outside my doorway. What the actual fuck is in my house!!! It's official. My house is haunted... so who I'm gonna call? Why you of course! Against my better judgement.

And would you hurry please!!! As I'm writing this letter it's now 5a.m. and that's when things around my house get really chaotic.

Please help....

Rainbow Dash

Upon finishing the letter Rainbow Dash heard a knock on the door. Immediately Rainbow dashed towards the entrance and pulled the door wide open. At the doorway was a familiar derpy-eyed mailmare.

"You got mail!" Derpy exclaimed excitedly.

"Oh hey Derpy! Do you mind mailing this letter to Twilight's Library ASAP?"

"You can count on me Rainbow Dash! Nothing is undelivable for me!" With that Derpy flew off.

Dear Rainbow Dash,

If you needed help with pest control you could have asked me. Your oldest best friend!


P.S. You really need to get over your arachnophilliaphobia. I have! Grow some balls, Rainbow!

Dear Pinkie Pie,

Great idea with the FNAF themed prank on Rainbow. Her paranoia was absolutely hilarious!

Your friend,

P.S. How about we prank Twilight by turning her horn into candy?

Dear Diary,

These past few days I've been binge reading late at night and I still have fucking trouble keeping my wings down every time I read an erotic novel!! These wings are such a burden. Anyway, these late night readings has made me so fucking tir-


ZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz...Wa... Wa... what....? Oh.... I fell asleep again... Fucking hell!

So, you want to know why I'm so cranky today? Well let me tell you.... that retard mailmare created a fucking hole in my ceiling! That's why!!! And all because of a letter from Rainbow Dash? Well Rainbow, you can go screw yourself you stupid-ass bitch for damaging my fucking home! I'm a motherfucking alicorn! Do you really want to see the dark side of me? Well you better be ready to get Midnight Sparkled upon! Watch your back!

So, I flew right into her celestia-damn cloud house of hers to give her a piece of my mind! Upon my arrival, I noticed that Rainbow's place is in dire need of better interior decorator. I mean wow! She REALLY likes used patio furniture. Bet you two bits that her furniture will fall apart in a day or two. Get a refund you egotistical imbecile! I was about to shout her celestia-damn name when that gay-ass bitch had the nerve to come barging in casually and start saying that my anti-pest spell wasn't working. Well gee wasn't that obvious? As if I would be that helpful to an arrogant mare like you. And let's get real here. Stuff moving around your house? Really? Have you not considered that you might have an unexpected visitor? Think about it... It's easy to break in here when the walls are made of fluffy fucking clouds! Seriously, pegasus security stinks! I'm outta here, I need to get some beauty sleep!

That is.... until that rainbow bitch started shoving me to the kitchen. Dude, bribing me with food won't help unless you have some whip creeeeeeaaaaam.... Okay I change my mind! I'll help! It'll be done with it in a blink of an eye. No sweat! Casting my RIP headphone users spell and we found our culprit. A batpony child that's run away from home. Honestly, my first impressions were that the kid should really get cleaned. He was absolutely filthy. Do batponies ever heard of a bath? ....Great, now I sound just like Rarity... So what did I do after that? Let's just say that they were a lot of batty shenanigans that ensured itself. Some swears were spoken. Some chasing happened. You get the drill... I genuinely would have sentenced that dumb kid to six to eight weeks in my sex dungeon for wasting my precious time I could have spent sleeping if it weren't for the fact that Rainbow mentioned that I should look for the kid's parents. Look for his parents? Are you kidding me, Rainbow? Screw you! I'm off to bed! Good night bitches!!

Your sleep deprived mare,
Twilight Sparkle

Dear Diary,

FUCK! My world has officially turned upside down! I have a kid in my house this whole time! Hopefully, he hasn't seen what I do when I'm in my bedroom at night alone... Honestly though, I thought the intruder was Scootaloo...

So, got the kids name to find out who and where his parents were and give them a piece of my mind. In hindsight, I should have called foal protection services instead cause they are really horrible parents to punish a kid for something he did not do. I can really relate to the kid in that regard. Mine didn't believe me at all when I said I was bullied in flight school. Why do you think I ran away and moved to this backwater town? Parents suck! Just look at how Twilight threats Spike!! But till those horrible parents arrive, I had to babysit Thunderlane Moonblade something... something.... Wow, his name's a real a mouthful! Anyways, piece of cake right? Sadly, no. I don't know jackshit on how to deal with kids. Batty, whom is what I decided to call him, started to scream like a banshee and started to jump up and down my bed. While Batty is in my bed, I shout at him to get off and Batty is still in my bed. Whelp, this is going to be a loooong day.

Note to self: Don't ever have children...

Then Batty's stomach rumbled. Great. Now I have to feed him? Raising Tank was easier than this! So, Batty starts giving me puppy dog eyes, must... resist... cuteness... and I relented and gave him some cereal to eat. Then Batty has the balls to say he won't eat it and prefers bat threats. Oh Heelllll No!!! I'm going to make that kid eat the cereal... Force-feeding is the right way to feed kids food right? After that, he needed a bath, while I'm tempted to just drown the damn kid in the bathtub. Sadly, I don't have one. Only a shower. Dammit! Finishing his shower, I told him to go dry himself. So all is better now right? Ya, still no. What are taking his parents so long? How slow are they!?! Cause my love and tolerance is at it's breaking poin-

"Tag you're it!" Batty screamed, darting off to the other side of Rainbow's cloud house.

"That's it. I think you have just made my very very mad! Get back here you piece of shit!!!" Rainbow shouted, giving chase.

Hours later......

Batty's parents were outside Rainbow's house when they heard giggling and laughter of their child echoing from inside the house along with the stomping of hooves and the flapping of wings. Upon opening the door they were greeted with a blur of rainbow colours zig-zagging around chasing their child.

"Thundernight Moonglade Kerfluffle Fangling!" Batty's Mother shouted.

At that instant, Batty abruptly stopped in his tracks.

"You're coming home with us mister!" Batty's Father added on.

With that, Batty went to his parents side.

"Hope he wasn't too much trouble." Batty's Mother said nicely to Rainbow.

"Oh... urm... sure... No problem at all...." Rainbow said apprehensively, clearly hiding a knife behind her that she had intended to use on Batty.

Dear Rainbow Dash,

Well that task was easy! Now for my reward... Prepare some of AJ's ropes and some whip cream. You and I both know what payment I want.

Your well-rested and horny mare,
Twilight Sparkle

To Princess Twilight Sparkle,

If you don't want your wings mind if I have them?

-Prince Blueblood

Dear Blue Mommy,

That was fun! I'll visit again next time!

-Thundernight Moonglade Kerfluffle Fangling Batty

Author's Note:

Original Story Here: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/298492/the-most-annoying-infestation

Check Out The Author: http://www.fimfiction.net/user/ocalhoun

Please Keep in mind that this Fimfiction is not an attack on the Author or her Work. I actually like her story and this letter is done just for the laughs. Plus, I have already gotten permission from the author.

Appreciate every like, comment and follow and please tell more people about this story:scootangel:
Try to spot all the references :rainbowlaugh:.

Furthermore, I decided to give you guys a challenge. I have referenced at least 20 stories also done by ocalhoun. Try to figure out which ones I did referenced.:moustache:

I'll also like you to tell me what made you laugh and what I can do to improve on for better inspiration for these letters.


Paint me like one of your French mares

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