• Member Since 3rd Sep, 2011
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Fanfiction masochist. :B https://ko-fi.com/presentperfect


She tried her best, but it's just not there. She kicked a hoof and said, "It's just not fair!" A princess mare living princess dreams; a baby that's not quite as it seems...

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 79 )

Oh shit. Panic welled in Cadence's chest. Name? You didn't name these things. They had names that were whispered in the etheric void between nowhere and nothingness, names that could not be printed lest they summon Great Old Ones to annihilate reality. A name for this creature would lay mountains low and drive the most stolid pony mage mad in a heartbeat with just the suggestion that someone might speak it. In hindsight, however, it had been a mistake not to come up with some kind of cover, if only to appease ponies like Twilight. Quickly, Cadence tried to make something up.


Georg #2 · Feb 2nd, 2016 · · ·

Cadence. Adopt.

Man...I so am expecting Chrysalis to show up in that episode and be all like..."I will steal this baby and make it's powers my own for my vengeance upon ponykind..." and the Flurry Heart shows her why newborns make terrible hostages.

Great story!! I loved it so much!!:rainbowkiss::heart:

Wiredest name... But good story

I clicked on this just to find out how in the name of fuck you got the title to look like it did. I swore it was a visual glitch, not an intended functional possibility.

This is the second story I've read on this site so far that has left me unable to convey how I feel in any way possible.

present are you breaking fimfiction again D:

I want to think I had a hand in this somehow. I know I can't say for certain, but this matches what I've been saying about the eldritch nature of Cadence's womb too well. Whether or not I helped, it's everything I hoped for.

Still, I am wondering what happened to Celestia and Applejack. Collateral damage from the struggle over the Door to Nothingness? (Ooh, that's actually a really good epithet for Flurry Heart...)

In any case, thank you for this.

EDIT: Just noticed the description.

Loveybutt, go beyond us.
You make hellspawn. Time to rule us.
Keep your young close. They define you
From the cosmos deep inside you.

Pretty clever idea for a story but does not fit my taste bud, or that I can't seem to locate its gold properly.

Author Interviewer

Iä iä!

I had no idea if it would work until I tried. :B

see above :D

There was a single blog post that tipped my hand into writing this. I don't think it was yours, because the Shub-Niggurath joke came to me unbidden (as Elder Gods tend to), but I will let you take the credit for now. :D

They're always after me Lucky Charms. D:

I think my computer broke...

*Reachs the end of the story.*
...Well, that's enough reading for tonight. I'm going to bed.

Why have I never thought of doing this with my titles? Hm...

Bah weet grana weet nini bon.

"Oh please tell me, where has my mind gone?"


The odd font has attracted me to this story,but I have yet to read it.

Author Interviewer

Like I said, I was surprised myself and didn't know you could until I tried!

I don't recommend it, though. :B

You know, I wondered for a long time why fandom memes of 'X is an abomination from beyond the folds of time that shall devour all souls' don't seem to become uber-popular fanfics. And I think this perfectly showcases why: several thousand words is too much space for something that seems to thrive as one-sentence jokes.

Also, the scene where Cadance thinks there's an eldritch ritual being performed, only to realize it's a comparatively mundane scene of Shiny drinking himself into oblivion, feels distinctly unnecessary. It's the sort of misdirection that usually only happens in a paint-by-numbers 'something spooky is happening but actually not really but maybe but BLAAAAAAAAA' fic, and certainly not in a story that's got actual eldritch horrors in it.

On the day of my daughter's wedding?!

As far as I can tell, the scene containing this sentence takes place on the same day as the rest of it. Seeing as you stated that Flurry Heart is the only child that hasn't been fed into a meat grinder, and she herself is still an infant at this point, I really don't think you meant to use the word 'wedding'.

Finally, the 'he crystal flew away' pun for the guard with the Crystal Flu was painful and sequence-breaking.

Vaguely Recommended

Okay, so I noticed that it's in a trollfic category.

I need a new sarcasm detector, it would seem.

What the f:yay:k just happened!?

Author Interviewer

I absolutely meant to use the word wedding. :V

lol i trol u V: (With minor exception, that's how I use the random tag.)

Yo, what's wrong with your title?

How the heck did you do the title like that? Or any format for that matter. :rainbowderp:

Author Interviewer

I͚̣̞̱̹͕͌ͤ̇ ̘̰͓̄̊ͨͫ̒͆ͮ͐h̠͚̮̣̘̍ͫ̓͠ā͎̫̇̏̌͗ͨ̊̅͗͘͟͢v̨͇͍ͤ̏̉ͨ͐͞e̢̳͈̯̘̫͇̰̜ͣ̌͌̇͆ ̶̍͋ͮ̿̒̽͒ͪ҉͉̻̩̤̯̮͕͈n̢̙̱̮̹͔͇͕̰̓́̉ͯ̋͛͒̊̋͘ǫ̟̭̭͍̭̇̓ ͉ͩ͂͂̑ͯ̇̂̎͢ͅi̢̳̥̹̤̙̔̎ͭ̌̊̽͐̊̇d̴̖̣͙͇̐̈̅̏͢e̅ͩ̿̔̎̓͂͏̲̻̪̝̜̺a̡̫̹ͨͩͯͥ̄̀̀.̹͕͎̜̭̳̩̫̍̈̌ͮ͐̋̄

6898538 I see. Or rather, I don't.:twilightblush:

I'm coming Starlight! Just hold on! :raritydespair:

6897810 ...

I need all of the medication.

> "The infant was swaddled crown to hooves in a blanket, after all, and peacefully sucking her thumb, the very picture of newborn adorableness."

Ponies do not have thumbs.

Author Interviewer


oh shit D: thank you


What happened to Applejack?

Sure enough, after a few more moments of cooing and gentle adoration, there came the sound of tearing cloth, and a pair of enormous wings sprang from the crib, accompanied by an equally oversized horn.

*everyone gets 100 stress damage*

Author Interviewer

Oh my gosh, did something happen to her? D:

So you mashed together something with the 'Starlight is Cadance's and Shiny's filly who travelled back in time' fan theory and injected a dose of Elder Gods to make it rather unsettling.

That said, I have to agree with Cadance's assessment early on in the story of Twilight's attitude.

Author Interviewer

That is generally how I write these fics, yes. :B


I'd love to know how too! Ye gods, it's frustrating no knowing. I even tried putting copying some of the letters into google, but I think it just gave the search engine indigestion. :applejackconfused: Still, thumbs up for the story concept though.

Still better names than Skyla. :trollestia:

6898431 I think he did it on an ascii website. Forgot what it was called though.

I have to ask. How the heck did you do that with the title? :rainbowhuh:

Author Interviewer

At this point, my desire to go "You've never heard of this meme?" is outweighed by a sense that I shouldn't tell people how I did it, lest the site be overrun with it. :B It's hard being a trend-setter.

That's understandable.

6918963 Oh yeah. Except I've seen it before on other write sites and it's driving me nuts on wanting to know how it's done.

Author Interviewer

This is what happens when you put your butt in someone else's butt.

I reviewed this story!

My review can be found here.

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