• Member Since 21st May, 2013
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Samey90


"I'm starting to believe you don't have a heart." – some author, after a review of his fic.


E

Sweetie Belle can't fall asleep. Luckily, Rarity always cares about her little sister.

Little sister, however, has a different opinion about that.

Preread by Bootsy Slickmane
Russian translation by FoxcubRandy, edited by ColdSky.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 20 )

Is Sweetie Belle secretly... Suicidal?

Is it possible-the darkness of her room is a metaphor for her secret envy and lack of self-esteem, causing her to think about possible self harm/harm to others...:derpyderp2:

Stockholm? I feel like the limping indicated abuse but idk. Could've been a CMC accident.

Is it bad that my first line of thought is that Rarity is molesting Sweetie?

6475426
That's possible. My aim was to be ambiguous enough for the readers to come with different interpretations.

6475594
I'd say this is quite likely.

6476665
I like your attention to details :twilightsmile:

6477570
You're not the only one :derpyderp2:

6477610 I see. On the one hand, I'm happy I'm not the only one. On the other...I have good reason to not be happy, know what I'm saying?

6477691
Yeah. Poor Sweetie :unsuresweetie:

Well... that was something. I always feel that stories like these should be multi chapter with a real build up and conclusion... but if you do that then you may break my group's rules so... yeah.

Sooo...I'm too simple to understand deep shit like this. Anyone mind translating?

6489486
You can take your pick from 6486843, 6475426, 6475594, or 6477570. Alternatively, you can come up with your own interpretation. Like, maybe she's just hitting puberty.

6490010 Mmmhmmm.
Sweetie Belle is growing up with a dependency fetish.
And that's why I can't interpret things.

6492562
That may be a thing too. Though I guess a look into her future relationships would require a higher rating.

6477570
I thought that might be the case, but based on how she thinks of Rarity I doubt it. Seems more like Sweetie has crippling self-esteem issues, which are made worse by Rarity being a successful fashionista that has saved the world on multiple occasions and still manages to find time to be a good sister. I don't think molestation is happening here because Sweetie doesn't seem to dread Rarity's arrival, she just wishes she wasn't so dependent on her sister.

6502711
I guess that's a less dark, but probably more realistic interpretation.

Is Rarity a prostitute? Evidence is here for my conclusion.

I sit on my bed and stretch my hooves. Rarity is still not here and I really want to sleep. If I fell asleep before she comes... I simply can’t do that. I want, but, deep down, something tells me that if I did, bad things would happen. That’s funny, but at the same moment, terrible cold overwhelms me. Not even the blanket stops it. It comes from the inside of me.

If Sweetie Belle falls asleep before Rarity is there, it would seem so as if someone will come and do something to her. As in, Rarity brings a pony home, and there may have been an incident involving a pony one time and Sweetie.

No. I can’t think of that. Nothing can happen to Rarity because if it did, I’d never be able to sleep again and this just isn’t possible, right? Right? Rarity is probably fine, just working late. After all, Rarity is strong and always cares about me and comes to say goodnight, every night since I remember.

In the story, Sweetie hears her sister coming home, late at night. Rarity does her work downstairs, and the sound of a sewing machine is fairly loud, meaning Rarity would've been out.

I close the window, trying not to look at the world behind it. There’s nothing interesting there. Well, at least not now. I’m tired, sleepy, cold, and scared, and yet I can’t do anything about it. I doubt anyone in the world can. Even Rarity wo–

Wait. What am I talking about? Rarity can do anything! She’s an adult. She’s an accomplished fashionista. I learned the word ‘accomplished’ from her. Rarity is, well, Rarity and I’m myself.

The world behind it, in this context I believe, means the nightlife, the *ahem* Sluts on the street, in another phrase. The "She's an adult" line could mean Rarity can do whatever she wants, even if that includes selling sex.

Here's wild speculation.

The Facts- Rarity is isn't home until the end of the story.
Sweetie Belle can't go to sleep without Rarity being there.
According to Belle, bad things will happen if she falls asleep without Rarity's goodnight.
Sweetie Belle thinks Rarity is probably working late.

Logic POWAZ- Let's start with the line "Rarity's not here and I really want to sleep". Sweetie Belle means if Rarity isn't here, she won't sleep.

"I simply can't do that. I want, but, deep down, something tells me the if I did, bad things would happen." Sweetie Belle knows if she's asleep before Rarity's there, she will bring "her work home" is a sense.

"Rarity is probably fine, just working late." Rarity is still on the street, meaning stallions will still pay for rutting her, but Sweetie Belle's denying the fact that Rarity isn't fine.

"-trying not to look at the world behind it" Rarity's second profession, which is not one that you would like to know, much less a filly knowing a lot about it.

"Wait. What am I talking about? Rarity can do anything! She's an adult." Sweetie's trying to defend her sister from this profession, meaning since Rarity can "do anything" Sweetie Belle has to live with her decision.

"Sometimes I wish she didn’t." This is my ace-in-the-hole for this theory. Sweetie doesn't want to hear Rarity entering late at night. So if Rarity didn't enter late, she would have made her little sister feel safe, despite not saying goodnight. If Sweetie Belle wished her sister didn't say goodnight, that would mean Rarity would have never existed, or stayed home when she would like to have.

Boom. Drop the mic.

7254889
Well, I didn't think of such an interpretation, but I really like it :twilightsmile: It works perfectly.

You know how you can tell how perverted an author is by the kinds of porn they write? When applicable, that is. On a similar note, you can tell how angsty and angry someone is by the kinds of "sad" fics they write.
You seem like a victim of bullying to me. The kind that deserved it.
Reading this fic was an exercise in not falling into a coma for how DULL this was written. I would call this your writing style, but that would offend anyone with some semblance of style. The way you write is more immature ramblings than anything, which made an already uninteresting premise worse.
Yes, your premise, no matter how much you like it(Based off a true story, I'll assume), was boring. Another "sibling A is suffering and sibling B can't tell in any way" story, how totally not overdone and overly dreadful to read! I was half expecting the writing to suddenly shift into a rant about how unfair the world is, with the droning and endless brooding you call "narration." Be honest, you have some unresolved feelings about bullies. I can tell with the magic of "having to deal with this shit on a weekly basis."
One thing I will expand on, I didn't mean that it's not a completely unrealistic story, having sibling B unable to tell that sibling A is depressed/suicidal/what have you. The problem is, you take this situation too black and white. In a real life scenario similar to this, you can expect sibling A to be at least a bit hostile to sibling B, who notices a few red flags, but doesn't take action for whatever reason, including "well my sibling's being a dick, this is probably just a rebellious phase" and "it's not that big a deal, they'll grow out of it." Maybe you'll take this advice, or maybe you'll prove to me that you're an annoying brat whose "bullies" were kids that, bless their hearts, just wanted to get you off their backs. I'm hoping for the former, but I'm an asshole so I hope for the latter at the same time. It's your choice.
In the meantime, here's a shorter version of this review.
EDIT:
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media.tumblr.com/tumblr_li9j53w1CE1qa5yfj.png

7874504

You seem like a victim of bullying to me.

The very first assumption about me and already a wrong one.

Reading this fic was an exercise in not falling into a coma for how DULL this was written

Interesting enough for you to write a comment that is almost longer than all the other ones here combined.

(Based off a true story, I'll assume)

Another assumption and wrong again. You know that people don't have to write from experience? in context of my other fics, it'd be pretty worrying if I wrote them from experience... But I'm just a comfortable, privileged guy with too much time and somewhat skewed imagination. I could go on, but I have more interesting things to do. Thanks for the opinion anyway.

7874504
Wow, you're a cranial rectum with a sphincter in need of a Midol.
Rather than trying to personally attack someone over something you don't like, how about some constructive criticism? Spelling errors, missing words, and those kinds of things. This thing you're calling a review looks a lot more like the ramblings of someone out to share his misinformed opinions with anyone he can force into reading; not unlike unconsensual anal probing.


7875612
Anywho, cheers to the Author for writing this! I enjoyed it. Gave me a touch of nostalgia from my childhood!

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