• Member Since 3rd Sep, 2011
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Fanfiction masochist. :B https://ko-fi.com/presentperfect


It's been a year since the Earth/Equestria Accords were signed, and the cultural exchange is going smoothly. Twilight Sparkle and her friends, some of the first Equestrians to come to Earth, meet at their castle in Equestria to discuss what they've learned on the topic of language.

Now available in actual, for-real Russian, thanks to Doof Ex Machina!

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 271 )

I would have gone with Navajo personally. Maybe do something silly, like Spike learning Klingon, or Sunbust lerning Elvish.

Author Interviewer

I have not learned any of those languages.

яблоки яблоки

Hah! That was great. Applejack speaking Japanese (or trying to anyway) is strange yet amusing.

In that Russian sentence, "быть" - the Russian equivalent of "to be" - is actually present. It is simply omitted. Can be checked by looking at future/past forms.
It's like you don't say "I do speak English" except when you want to underline the fact.

Well of those I'm a native English speaker, my mother made me learn Español cause that's her native language, and I learned ze Deutsch from my Lichtensteiner grandmother. As well as the Lichtenstein dialect.

Also that ending: :rainbowlaugh:
It's so true!

Oh boy. That's, um, beyond words...

or have sunburst spend her time in south america learning the diferent version of spanish that each nation has and their insults of course. in chile we swear more than dwarfs.

Also. Calling it now. This is gonna get featured.

'I am Equestrian', I would take 'I', put it with 'Equestrian', and that's it

"Ya Ekvestrianskaya."

Un no. It would be something closer to "Ya Ekvestriyanka".

Author Interviewer

I have a lack of Russian friends to teach me their ways. :B

That pic...:rainbowlaugh:

"Ich bin verschnupft."

Is this a reference to something? Beyond the meaning "I am peeved", I mean.

Starlight took her seat next to Twilight's throne. "That sounded a lot like Pony Latin."

Why would Spike learn Latin in Ohio, of all places?

"... then call me a friend of Communism!"


"Y'always were kind of a baka, Rainbow."


"That wasn't a language. It was a punishment ."

I think I can see where this is going...

"Each letter makes like five different sounds in five different words!"

Ok, now I know it for sure.:rainbowlaugh:

She keened a single word that reverberated off the arched crystal ceiling and sent chills down the spine of everypony present.

And the punchline is...

" English! "

Knew it.

Funny read. I'm a little disappointed nopony learned Italian, but that's just me.
Also, we need more Starlight communism.

I had no idea you were so multilingual. Neat!

In any case, love what you did here, from Twilight all but declaring war on China to Applejack doing unspeakable things to Japanese to the punchline I saw coming but still deeply enjoyed. Really, everything here was fantastic. Thank you for it.

Since this is as good as any place to gush about insane languages, consider Swedish. The language where the entire sentence changes spelling depending on one word. It's the N/T rule. And there is no rule about what type the key word is like with a/an. Speakers just know.

Ett rött äpple. En röd frukt. Flera röda äpplen. Det röda äpplet. Three different spellings of "red" and that's just one part of the rule!

En plan. Ett plan. Two words with identical spelling, but different N/T classification.

Yep. Still just as good as when i first looked it over. :twilightsmile:

You ended with an adjective instead of the noun. If you modelled "Ya Ekvestrianskaya." after "Ya russkaya" I.e. "I am Russian" then you got owned by Russian language :). "Russian" in the Russian language are adjective while all other nations are nouns. Russian weird like that :).

Oh, and after some thought... "Я Эквестрийка" sound better. But I don't know how to write it in English because of critical lack of "й". By current standard it should be "Ya Ekvestriyka" but in my opinion, it sounds a little weird. But of well.

And one about a little crocodile!

Schni schna Schnappi, Schnappi Schnappi Schnapp.

The punchline was obvious, but once Rainbow Dash talks to the others, she'll be glad to learn she didn't have to deal with genders and declinations. Thank the Vikings for beating the gender out of the English language!

I take it someone must have introduced Rainbow to the delights of the differences between American and British English?

My German tearcher showed this song to me in 1st class.

As a Pole, I can tell you, that we have over twenty variants of word "dwa" (two). And beutilful prefixes, that, when used, completly change meaning of verb. And almost every word can get diminutive form.

8524181 Yeah, Polish is apparently one of the most difficult languages out there, and that’s saying a lot considering that it’s distantly related to English.

No me sorprende que Pinkie sepa Español debido a una canción de fiesta.

Also, the ending is so, so true. I learned English starting young, since I had a Pinoccio VHS in English and saw it several times, according to my mom, and I started picking up words here and there. The rest was tutors and a bilingual Junior High...

Curiously, it was roleplaying writing what got me the most help in the nuances of grammar.

To be completely fair, when Germans find out we have no adjective endings, only one form of word order, and one of each definite and indefinite articles, it tends to induce smiles.

Fucking adjective endings.

Arguably the most fascinating and compelling language I’ve ever come across is Japanese. Although it’s spoken by so many people across the world and is becoming all the more popular as a second language, there’s so little we know about its origins or how it evolved. Korean seems like the most obvious candidate for a sister language based on the extensive grammatical similarities between it and Japanese, but cognates are scarce and are mostly limited to Chinese loanwords appropriated into both languages.

Man, you should've told me about this story. I could've gone to town on it.

I find one thing in English absolutly stupid.
Why they eleminated old English form "thou" for 2nd single person and replaced it with 2nd use of "you"? Being unable to distinguish that sentence is about one person or about many and forcing to add context for help is sometimes really annoying.

What's even more fascinating is the general lack of be-verbs!

Strictly speaking, they are present in Russian, but lazy asses were omitting them so often that it become a norm :rainbowlaugh: Twilight could say "Ya est' Ekvestrianka." and be understood, although it would sound like something from Bible.
You may think that it is a nice simplification, but not so quick: when writing missing "be" forms often should be replaced with m-dash (not in Twilight's example) and there are hell lot of fucked up rules for when it should and when it shouldn't.

You can always say "you all" for the plural.

Or, if you speak the Southern dialect, "y'all" for the singular, and "all y'all" for the plural.

Amusing as always PP, bravo.


Twilight could say "Ya est' Ekvestrianka." and be understood, although it would sound like something from Bible.

If you want to sound like someone from Bible you need to use Church Slavonic :). It would sound something like that "Az esm' Ekvestriyka" :).

Blame the damn Normans Rainbow. William the Bastard and his Normans screwed us.

I take it you already know
Of tough and bough and cough and dough?

Others may stumble, but not you,
On hiccough, thorough, slough, and through.

Beware of heard, a dreadful word,
That looks like beard but sounds like bird.

And dead: It’s said like bed, not bead —
For goodness’ sake don’t call it deed!

Watch out for meat and great and threat...
They rhyme with suite and straight and debt.

A moth is not the moth in mother,
Nor both in bother, nor broth in brother.

And here is not a match for there,
Nor dear and fear for bear and pear.

And then there’s dose and rose and lose —
Just look them up — and goose and choose.

And cork and work and card and ward,
And font and front and word and sword.

And do and go, then thwart and cart,
Come, come, I’ve hardly made a start!

A dreadful language? Why, sakes alive!
I’d learned to speak it when I was five.

And yet, to write it, the more I tried,
I hadn’t learned it at fifty-five.

Coulda been worse. She could have been fed English cooking.

But wouldn't English and Equestrian be the same language?

It was definitely a fun read.
As a native Russian speaker I at first reeeeeally disliked English because of the godawful grammar. But when i pushed though that - then came some profit. You can understand more than half of the world. So, I think Dash could at least appreciate that she got some profit from her torment. It wasn't for nothing.:trollestia:

..... And then there are ponies. So, that's a plus too.:twilightsmile:

English is generally megabastard among languages. Celtic Britons get latinized after Roman conquest. Germanic Saxons comed and added their parts. Later Vikings in northern England. And at end "frenched" Vikings aka Normans taked control over this all with their dialect. And this all in 1000 years.

English owes much of its difficulty to a history of being conquered by French, then becoming the language of communication through UK's empire, and then finally becoming the language of the internet. All along the way, it beat up other languages for words, so in order to speak perfect English, you also have to have something of an understanding of French, Greek, Latin, Spanish, Italian, Japanese, Chinese, German, Yiddish, Hebrew, Dutch, Norse, Arabic... and others, in no particular order. Plus all of the internet's language corruptions.

y'all isn't singular, it's plural. It's a contraction of "you all". "all y'all" is used primarily for emphasis

as a russian i am deeply offended

English has its problems, but isn't so bad.

Chinese or Japanese can be as bad. Try some of the Scandinavian languages and then you get to complain! :rainbowderp:

But I thought humans are speaking Humanish, Humanskii!, Humanol! Did you see what I did there? Because you know, ponies are speaking Ponish.

This is a fun challenge to simply read aloud. I think I got most of them right. No real way to check myself though.
Gonna save this text to my harddrive!

I tried to learn Mandarin for 5 years and I still can't speak the language. It is really hard, though I'll admit Cantonese is even harder

It's the reverse for me. I grew up speaking Cantonese, and now I'm in Chinese class to learn Mandarin. The characters are written the same, just pronounced differently. And it's pretty obvious in class when I come across something that's pronounced the same way across both dialects versus when it's pronounced differently.

Dude... I agree with Rainbow here. In America, we don't Speak english...We Speak 'Murican.


The best way I've heard it described is "three languages sitting on each other's shoulders in a trenchcoat".

Author Interviewer

Okay, so I didn't believe this comment when I saw it...


Is this a reference to something? Beyond the meaning "I am peeved", I mean.

It was the cutest German phrase I could find for Fluttershy to say.

Why would Spike learn Latin in Ohio, of all places?

That's where I learned it! :V That's where I learned them all! That's where I live. :( It's terrible here, send help.

Trust me, that is not the only way the Russian language has owned me. :B

I generally transliterate й as a j, leaving y for things like Я, but that's likely too weird for your average reader, so I'd not do it here.

They're speaking Pony English. :V See also: Pony Latin.

You should be.

You should also feel like a fucking superhero for mastering a language that kicked my ass. D: Seriously, Russians deserve medals if they can string a sentence together, that's what I say.

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