• Member Since 6th Nov, 2011
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Pen Stroke


A fan-fiction author and game programmer that lives in Glendale, CA.

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Through unknown means, Sombra amassed an army and launched an attack against the Crystal Empire and a changeling sub-hive. This forces Celestia and Chrysalis to meet, and agree to a temporary alliance between their kinds. Neither is happy about the situation, but for the lives of the ponies and changelings they lead, they are willing to do what is necessary.

Yet, as weeks and months pass, the pair find working together is not as horrible as they originally believed. Is a lasting peace, and perhaps more, possible between ponies and changelings, between a princess and a queen?

Written for Equestria Daily's Super Happy Hearts and Hooves Lovefest Fanfic Event

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 139 )

5624788 Based off that picture....no, you are not prepared.

Aww, this was amazing! Perfect for the season. Sombra is super evil and super menacing, just like in the show - he doesn't waste more than a few moments gloating, spending almost all his time going straight for the kill. The emotions, of course, were supremely done. The terrible sorrow of Chrysalis's hive being destroyed, her anger and grief, then the mood-whiplash into a Celestia drunk on 'the most powerful force in the universe'. The battle was amazing and the description of the Rainbow Power, crashing to the earth like 'a vengeful comet' was spine-chilling. Though I do have to wonder why they didn't use the Rainbow on the crystal dragons themselves.

I could spend all day waxing on and on about how every single thing in this story, from characterization to plot to romance, was done perfectly, but a like and a fav shall have to do.:raritywink:

Huh, a romance fic I actually enjoyed. What strange magic are you brewing, oh stroker of pens?
...wait no that sounds wrong. :applejackunsure:

Hmm, not bad, not bad at all.

While I'm not a big shipper myself, Chrysalis/Celestia is one ship that does kinda intrigue me, not to mention it's being done through the perfect set up of an 'Enemy Mine', something I'm always in favor of in fanfiction and hopefully in the show one day.

It's no secret and not much point in saying I'm not a big fan on the popular Changeling Hive/Chrysalis-mother-of-all-changelings fanon. It's just never been my thing in my interpretation of changelings (much more of a 'Changeling Kingdom' guy). However, I will certainly say it was well utilized here and Chrysalis' role as a literal mother to her people did help further convey the tragedy of the hive's destruction. And its reconstruction with the ponies help did well to solidify the new relationship between the Changelings and Equestria as especially Chrysalis and Celestia's. So yeah, not a 'Hive' fan, but very effective use of it.

I also loved the use of 'liquid love', It would make for a good, realistic way of solving the pony-changeling conflict if the show, though I know it's doubtful it'll ever happen.

Overall, a good story. Maybe not my favourite concepts, but it was written very well and I'm glad the characters I wanted to see come out okay indeed come out okay. And yeah, heh, Chrysalis and Celestia are pretty cute together, I admit.

Well done.

Celestia high on love=

:rainbowlaugh:

The term ‘liquid love’ just sounds so wrong.

Also, Celestia’s drunk scene reminded me of this:

In fact, tell me, Celestia, are you virgin?”

Now I'm getting Hellsing vibes.

Loved the story. It was both extremely sad and sweet.:fluttercry::yay:

I haven't read the story yet, but this is what I immediately thought of when I read the description:

Yet, as weeks and months pass, the pair find working together is not as horrible as they originally believed. Is a lasting peace, and perhaps more, possible between ponies and changelings, between a princess and a queen?

Amazing work by an amazing author. Par for course.

...I want that war to be turned into a series. There's so very much potential there, and I feel like this relationship is just hitting the highlights.

But those are great highlights.

this is very good! More please!

Hehe very funny tia chrisy interaction :)

I ship it.

Good story; I like how you actually took some time to develop the relationship instead of having them be physically attracted to each other and blushing as soon as they meet up like so many other shipfics do. Also, one of my favorite pairings, so bonus points.

Finally got around to reading this after a few hours of sleep!

PenStroke, good story, on par with your other works in being an enjoyable read. The characters are believable, fun and relatable.

The story itself is a fun little journey that immerses the reader. The love collectors were a great touch and Celestia getting drunk off of love was priceless! I laughed really hard, because I loooooooooove love drunk Celestia. Chrysalis sensing the feelings Celestia has for her kinda twerked my senses, only because this became a ship fic like all the others. Nothing against the premise (or the day this was released on), but I think I am simply shipped out at the moment and picked a terrible day to read a ship fic.

The site is oversaturated with it.

I'm just a bit tired of the quick shipping. That's all there is on this sight anymore when it comes to shipping. I've got nothing against it, but it just goes in the pile of THINGS ALREADY DONE IN FANFICTION. Maybe it's just the struggle of finding something new and different to read that's driving me into an inward moment of miffed mumbling that happens to be leaking out at the moment. Somehow, I expected more...perhaps the relationship simply happened too quickly and too conveniently. It's not that I don't like the shipping of the pair. I really do like and approve it. I think it felt...rushed...along with the sensation of a color by numbers picture. The rest of the story was fun and immersive, but when it came to the romance, I was 'meh'.

Was it too quick? Well, not in the sense with the passage of time. That was clearly shown in the story. It's just that...well...how can I put my finger on something I actually don't mind, but feels as though something is missing? This was like watching the Odd Couple, only with a war thrown in for good measure. Maybe it's the little details I crave, the nuances of what makes a couple attracted to each other. Maybe it's because it's Valentine's Day and all I've been hearing about from my friends is how disappointed the movie Fifty Shades of Gray is compared to the novel.

Maybe I'm just loved out.

Absolutely nothing against the story or its author. It's an enjoyable read throughout, but I was left wanting more.

That's it! I wanted more.

Not bad. This deserves more.

5626601
I know what you mean; shipping really is becoming too common and simplified in fimfics. I was okay with this one because, even though it was done in a one-shot Pen Stroke at least had the decency to have the romance develop over time instead of every other one where it happens in a day or two and skips the realistic stages, such as friendship (the pickup speech by Chrysalis would probably be where I say this seemed the most rushed, but it wasn't particularly bad).
Heck even being physically attracted to another person causing stammering and blushes is kind of cliched and unrealistic. I see beautiful people all the time, even talk to them, and I don't do this. If I was asking them out? definitely, but that's kind of true whenever someone asks another person out.

Anyway, there's also the fact that shipping occurs in a lot of stories out of nowhere these days. "Hey, this is a story about an epic quest to save the world... and there's also, like, six pairings too." I remember that story where the slit eyed martial arts colt comes to Ponyville and has to deal with prejudice and a bunch of religious nuts trying to kill him... Then the author ships, literally, everyone. All the Mane6, the CMC, Spike, ect. Even worse, it all happens within the same small window of time, and no one questions it or why it was even concluded.

Basically, romance stories have become cheapened for me because of this site.

5626601 But the 50 Shades novel is crap too. All it has going for it is lots of raunchy, wish-fulfillment BSDM.

You can find plenty of that here in the mature section.

And in the Sonic Fandom...

And in the Furry Fandom...

And in the Gundam Fandom... yes, I'm serious.

There's nothing special about it, other than somehow it gained a large following despite being written by someone with the intellect of a failing middle school student.

5626601 Fifty Shades of Grey is horrible. It takes what BDSM is and twist it into the author's sick slave fantasy.

NowYouKno on tumblr went over it in great detail, but it basically boils down to the main character forcing that girl to be his sex slave, and even had her sign a contract that basically handed over her life to him. The book is disgusting, and doesn't represent what BDSM is at all. It's just a dumbass who looked at BDSM and thought "Wow that girl is getting whipped by that guy, she must be his slave! Wonder if anyone would read something like that..."

That isn't it at all. Only idiots would actually believe that. And that's the main demographic for this book. Nobody with two brain cells to rub together would take this book seriously. I say seriously because many people read the book together to weird each other out, or get it as a joke for a friend.

It's not too often a story can traverse such a wide gamut of emotions so well and make the reader forget s/he's reading a story.

Favorited.

5627179
The Fifty Shades trilogy was developed from a Twilight fan fiction series originally titled Master of the Universe and published episodically on fan-fiction websites under the pen name "Snowqueen's Icedragon". The piece featured characters named after Stephenie Meyer's characters in Twilight, Edward Cullen and Bella Swan. After comments concerning the sexual nature of the material, James removed the story from the fan-fiction websites and published it on her own website, FiftyShades.com. Later she rewrote Master of the Universe as an original piece, with the principal characters renamed Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele and removed it from her website before publication.

I wonder how long until a brony does something like this and makes millions.

5627293 *nods slowly* Yes, I know the history of it. I didn't care to repeat it. It makes me ill.

If the same thing ever happens with an X-rated pony fanfic, I will know it is finally time for me to release my genetically-engineered Influenzoebolaids megavirus and destroy the human race... :pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

Not bad. I'm surprised you wrote this all in one chapter. It's very well done and all I can say is I wish there were more chapters, not for later in the story but for more to fill in those gaps in the months. I really loved how Chrysalis went from "I'm taking every chance I can to antagonize you" to "playful ribbing."

And god, did I love love-drunk Celestia.

“Well... I have a very... sensitive nose.”

All the better to boop her with?

Great story. I like Cryssi.

Yay new story! It sounds so cool, wait... Romance, between girls, bleh, never mind, I'll have to find a different story to read :ajsleepy:

Let the mongering for a sequel begiiiin~

i am left scratching my head.

On the one hand, I liked the story, but on the other I felt this was more a friendshipping story with a romance tacked on as an afterthought.

I don't feel the romance was necessary. For instance, if you stripped it out those elements from the story it would still hold together. If it was a pure romance then the story should crumble. Maybe I came in with the wrong expectations.

I guess you could say that...
(•_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■)
I just didn't feel the love.

5628066 Yeah...it felt as though something was out of place. I thought it was missing the little nuances myself, but you do bring up a good point yourself. Still, it's a good little read.

If you notice any typos, please send them along to me in a private message.

Well that just takes all the fun out of finding your typos. I found six typos, and you're saying I can't mention them here? That's what I always do with every fan fiction I read that's well written and I enjoy. And you'd deny me that.

Fine. I'll just keep them short here and give you the full version in a PM. "it's", "mind", "a tiny", "his", "its", (a phrase that doesn't make sense)

And then my one non-fix comment:
What Chrysalis did to Celestia: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/KissOfLife

Hm, this was pretty good. Too bad there wasn't a date scene, I enjoy a good date scene.

Meh, this story was a little... disaponting. It´s a very good story, well written, but it doesn´t generate any emotional bond.
I was expecting Sombra to be a little more important as the antagonist, but he got what? A single speaking line? He was almost irrelevant to the plot, just as he was at Cristal Empire.
I enjoyed this story but it´s not my favourite, I know you can do much better and I hope to read another of your stories sometime soon, o not, take your time, I wait.
fc03.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2013/051/0/c/wallpaper_applejack_you_are_so_awesome_by_barrfind-d5vl4gn.jpg

Celestia x Chrysalis is a fun ship when a good author takes a serious non-spoofy shot at it and doesn't soften Chryssi up much in the process. There's not just the redemption angle, but also that delicious irony that it works primarily because poor Tia gets put on such a high pedestal that the shapeshifting succupony queen of deception is the only one audacious enough to be honest with her.

He knocked me up like a bee queen and then went flying off into the sunset.

Those are kind of mutually exclusive events. Bee-style involves the male getting ripped in half when the endophallus detaches, and then dying on her floor in a puddle of his own innards.

Nature is so fascinating... :yay:

That was really a lot of fun.

Focusing the narrative on Celestia and Chrysalis specifically while the war progressed almost in the background was a good approach. At least to me it gave it the feel of one of those old war/romance movies. You know that the fighting is happening, and it's important to a point since losing would cause serious issues for the two focus characters, but at the same time the real story was the developing relationship.

5628345 Those who can't write seem to put a great store in their ability to critique.

Also, by ignoring the author's request, you're being a dick. That part is only 'fun' for you.

Re: Story, though! Good stuff, the banter between these two ex-enemies was excellent.

Eh , too bad this is a oneshot , I would have loved to read a longer fic with this idea.
Especially with you as the author.
Oh , and I love this couch too.

We all love the couch now :rainbowhuh:
While I liked the working together, I have to say that I didn’t envoy the romantic part. The story would work without it. But your taste may vary :-).

Celestia drunk on love... Kinda reminds me of Saints Row 2. Remember that mission, folks???

5628066
Same here. I am totally against the idea of romantic relationship.
Friendshipping, I am totally good with that.
But the romance is really out of place and it feels forced.
Sorry, Pen Stroke; even your writing is top notch but...
Romance?! Really?!:ajbemused::facehoof:

I was skeptical of the pairing, but you really made it (and everything else) work. Great read, so have a fave! :ajsmug:

Small question, where was Discord during all this? I reread the story and though he was mentioned in passing a few times, it doesn't look like he had a single thing to do with this fic. Even if he was completely apathetic to the whole ordeal, I feel like there should have been a little bit of explanation as to why he didn't show up. Or maybe he was helping out in the background somehow...?:rainbowhuh: Just a small nitpick I guess, I still thoroughly enjoyed the story.:twilightsmile:

Heck yeah! This hits all my headcanons square on the dot, far as I'm concerned. Chrysalis is Hive Mother/ occasional Queen bitch of the universe, Luna is an avenging goddess of war, and Celestia is a pretty porcelain political princess.

Ya still got it, Pen!

Finally sat down and read this.

Excellent read for a work lunch break, I must say!

~Skeeter The Lurker

This... actually was infinitely better than I was expecting! I've read some pretty good ChrysiLight, but never Chrislestia... but dang, this was good!

5631478 Those things are still below his league. I do keep a consistent headcanon that he'd show up when needed, provided things got really bad.

5627937
This is actually the first time I've seen anyone say this about lesbian shipping. Interesting.

5632465 Are you sarcastic or are you suggesting said user doesn't believe that there can be romance between girls. In the latter I think I can kinda agree. I mean... most of the time you won't see two girls romancing like that. To be frank when two girls come together to talk the discussion is bound to be... explosive. Which says something about this fic ((That it confirms this I mean since most parts where Chrysalis and Celestia talk hide a rather "fiery" background))

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