• Published 7th Nov 2015
  • 2,513 Views, 253 Comments

Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse - MixMassBasher



Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia's most prized and faithful student, is being sent to Ponyville to learn about the magic of friendship. And she's not happy about it.

  • ...
22
 253
 2,513

PreviousChapters Next
Love Arrows of Doom by Rated Ponystar Chapter 3

Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Love Arrows Of Doom: Chapter 3: An Archer's Pride On The Line OR (Shipping Fuel Set Ablaze)

Dear Diary,

It took me a while, but I had arrived in Ponyville in time to offer my lovely aid.

But which Ponyvillian do I assist first?

I could use my arrows on that video game nerd so he'll stop obsessing over that Ultimate 11: Super Sidebucks Five cartridge and go out with Rarity’s sister. He and Sweetie make the perfect couple! They accidently burned anything around them!

Oh, wait. Nevermind. If I recall, he's dead after burning his home kitchen. Drat.

Maybe I could try shipping that earth pony colt and changeling I saw walking about in Twilight’s new school.... Nope. No way am I aiding that insect.

Or perhaps I should use my arrows on Spike? I believe he is starting to have a growing fire in his heart for the new dragon lord. Perfect.

Yet upon my arrival in Ponyville, I noticed that half my job was already done!?! And also half of it covered in wet cement!?!

The culprit turned out to be Pinkie Pie. For the former. Not the latter.

She most likely drugged up my dear Aunt Celestia with one too many cakes to get the secret recipe for my arrows.

How dare she! Does that pink mare think she could best me? The Pink Arrow!?! Not in her lifetime!

Only one way to settle this. Thus, I challenged her to a bow off!

Whoever shoots and ships Rainbow with anypony wins. Let's go! Gong Yi Tan Pai!

And I know just who to ship that mare with; her best friend Applejack obviously! Honestly, Rainbow should really learn how to treat that mare right! Instead of hogging those bits she saved for a trip to Las Pegasus, she should date that farmmare already!

Unfortunately, Rainbow was an expert at how to dodge past all those quick time events as we both shot our arrows, as if that will stop me from winning.

Thankfully, Rainbow did all the work for me by leading us to her soon to be marefriend. I had them in my sights. The spot was perfect. Underneath the blossoming cherry tree, the number one place for a love confession.

Ready. Steady. Aim. Fire! And... Bullseye!

Success! Rainbow was now lovestruck for some cowpony ass. In fact, Rainbow straight up proposed right then and there!

And thus, the ship has sailed, only to sink straight after...

Instead of screaming yes, that dumb hic screams I can't marry you and dashes off to find her true lover.

There goes my Appledash fanfic idea... well at least I won...

Victorious,
The Pink Arrow

P.S. I may have accidentally shot Discord with my love arrow. Celestia help us all.


Dear Princess Cadence,

I'm not in love with Dragon Lord Ember. I'm in love with Rumble. I'm gay.

Signed,
Spike


Dear Princess Cadence,

If you were going to comic con it's in Amareica.

Concerned,
Ponyville Citizens


"In only a few minutes by experiment will be complete. Hehehahaha!" Doctor Twilight Sparkle laughed, deep in the burrow of her secret laboratory of her new school.

"With this one way love poison, I'll be the most irresistible mare in all of Equestria!" Twilight soliloquized as she looked deeply in the the boiling bottle in front of her laboratory table.

"This Hearts and Hooves day, no stallion will say no to boning me. Not even my brother! Nothing could go wrong now!" Twilight proclaimed in triumph.

And just as fate had predicted, a stray arrow flew by, one of the arrows that the Pink Arrow shot blindly, shattering the brewing potion to bits. The potion's contents spread across the laboratory table.

"Fuuuuuuccc—"


“Come on, Mochrie,” Gilda said to her pet as she trotted around Ponyville.

"Urgh. Why did it have to be Hearts and Hooves Day?" Gilda commented, looking around at the various decorations coloured in red, purple or pink.

It was at this point that two of Cadence’s stray arrows flew by, both hitting Gilda and her pet simultaneously.

Gilda gave a large yelp and proceeded to hug her pet and shaking it around furiously.

"I love you so much! You're the bestest pet ever!" Gilda shouted, causing onlookers to gaze at her, pointing and whispering about the crazy old bird.

"Oh no! You're hurt!" Gilda exclaimed, looking at the arrow shaft still embedded on her pet's shell.

"Don't worry! Fluttershy will fix you! She's done it before!" With that, Gilda grabbed her pet mock turtle and flew off.


Prince Blueblood was minding his own business, trotting down the many hallways of the castle. It was then that an orange pegasus guard suddenly jumped in his way.

"Love me, my sweet prince!" Flash Sentry cried out.

"Egads!" Prince Blueblood yelled out.

"Come and make love to me!" Flash Sentry screamed, his eyes glowing a deep shade of pink.

Prince Blueblood fumed at the guard’s proclamation, "Why would I—”

Another one of Cadence’s stray arrows struck Prince Blueblood’s rump.

“—not," Prince Blueblood said, his eyes glazed over in the same shade of pink as Flash’s, his lips slowly creeping into a goofy grin.

Author's Note:

Original Story Here

See Chapter Here

Check Out The Author Here


Please Keep in mind that this Fimfiction is not an attack on the Author or His Work. I actually like his story and this letter is done just for the laughs.

Appreciate every like, comment and follow and please tell more people about this story as I always appreciate feedback like what made you laugh and what I can do to improve on as a growing writer. :scootangel:

Try to spot all the references where it be from the show itself or from other media:rainbowlaugh:.

Also to those who follow and read any of Rated Ponystars' stories will get some laughs at my subtle reference to his other stories.

Also,

Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
PreviousChapters Next
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!