• Published 7th Nov 2015
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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse - MixMassBasher

Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia's most prized and faithful student, is being sent to Ponyville to learn about the magic of friendship. And she's not happy about it.

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Past Sins by Pen Stroke: Chapter 3

Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Past Sins: Chapter 3: School Days and Memories OR (Skool Rules)

“Ok, Class. Your homework for today will be to write a letter about anything in particular to your loved ones. Have it done by Monday,” Cheerilee announced. This announcement was met with a large amount of groans from all the colts and fillies.

As Cheerilee and all the students left the classroom, one black filly remained. Nyx decided to stay back in class to finish her assignment. So grabbing a crayon, Nyx began to write.

Dear Mommy Twilight,

Today was such a great day! Since living with you I’ve learnt many great things. Like for instance how to show somepony whose boss. Fax Machine was the perfect test dummy for that. I even learn so many new words from you that have improved my vocabulary tremendously. You’re a fucking amazing teacher.

Ms. Cheerilee seemed somehow upset when I used those words I’ve learnt in class on my first day and was even more upset when I threw an apple at her like you told me to. So now Snips and Snails are no longer wearing the dunce hat on their empty heads of theirs.

And I did remember what you said about keeping my glasses and vest in place but my wings kept poking onto the back of my vest whenever I saw some of the colts winking at me. On top of that, there was this pink snob of a filly who seemed to not like me at all. Is it illegal to strangle somepony in class? Cause there’s seems to be no rule for that in school.

I also took your advice of making better friends minions than you did before. They were quite nice and if I recall their names were Zapplebloomer, Sweetie Bot and Scoopapoo. They told me so much about the great things you have done in Ponyville like Ursa Minor juggling. I didn’t know you worked in the circus? Back to the point, they had this group name called the Cutie Mark Crusaders and they requested me to join their crusade of finding cutie marks. Urm... Can’t you just get a cutie mark from a tattoo shop? Pretty sure that's how that pink snob and her grey minion got theirs.

Anyways our first lesson was chemistry but there was an incident in the lab where this colt named Lemon Rush had his head stuck inside a beaker. Wonder where in tartarus that kid learnt that from? Honestly while lessons were okay I thought this place was gonna be total shit. I felt soooo bored. That is until Cheerilee started introducing Sex Ed to class.

Best Lesson Ever!!! School was amazing!! Why didn’t you teach me this? I had so many questions. We had to unfortunately delay recess when I had asked too many questions but it was definitely worth it me. I was hit at the side of my head with a piece of paper when I was taking down some notes.

The message said:
They’ll never find your body.
-Diamond Tiara

How about I just shove that letter right up her plot then!! I can definitely deal with the likes of her. I lived with you didn’t I?

Well recess finally rolled into session after I finished interrogating Ms. Cheerilee (who knew you can do that many positions in bed). The recess bell sounded like a cross between a marching band and a broken trumpet. It was upon exiting the school doors that I was once more confronted by that pink snob and her grey minion. They have the nerve to insult my coat color and call me a nerd. They have a problem with black ponies? Talk about colourist!! She compared my coat colour to that of spiders and bats and that I eat bugs. Well she’s right. I am like spiders and bats. They can be lethal and eat pests like her. Let’s who truly has the crying cutiemark by the end of this.

I was ready to give the rich bitches the beat down of the lifetime when Zapplebloomer took the first punch instead. Oh how I love my new minions. That definitely sent those upstarts packing. So my minions decided to introduce me to my new subjects. There’s Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumbest, First Base (I’d prefer Third Base), Rumble (Can I bring him to my bedroom?), Little Pipsqueak, Featherweight (AKA the colt who should be named Pipsqueak), Twist and her coltfriend, Button Mash and some of the other background colts and fillies. I even ended up deciding to join my minion’s crusade for their cutiemarks. Maybe I could get one for murder.

These two weeks of going to school were definitely an interesting experience for me and I can’t wait for you to read this and see how well I’ve improved on my Ingwish English.


“Hey Nyx!”

Nyx craned her neck to see that pink snob calling her.

“We were just going to Sugarcube Corner. You want to join?” Diamond Taira offered politely.

“I’m busy studying,” Nyx said with gritted teeth.

“Sorry to interrupt then, but Silver Spoon and I just want to say we are sorry for being so mean.”

Nyx raised her head in confusion. “Wait. Really?”

Diamond Taira nodded and motioned with her hoof. “We wanted to see if you are a cool enough pony to join my gang.”

“Yeah. We can be like total BFFs,” Silver Spoon assured eagerly.

“In fact we have a meeting later and we would like you to join. Here’s a map,” Diamond Tiara said, giving Nyx a map.

“Where does the map lead to?” Nyx asked cautiously.

“Deep in the Everfree Forest. It is amazing once you go deep enough inside,” Diamond Tiara replied, grinning evilly.

[Research Notes On Nyx: Note 2]

Okay, so, I was finally having some peace and fucking quiet from Nyx the Blabbermouth when the three stooges came to me. Seriously, half a day of reading is all I asked for and instead I get two hours. Destiny is a bitch.

I thought Nyx was crusading with the Three Fillies of Apocalypse. So, I got my friends to help find who were the ponies responsible for ruining my plans of hostile takeover. Everypony except Pinkie Stinking Pie, of course. She apparently wanted to find a person named Waldo instead, whoever he is. She really needs rehab.

So apparently Rainbow Cunt found out it was these two snobbish ponies who were responsible. When I interrogated them, they had the nerve to turn a deaf ear. I was FURIOUS. How dare they mock the freaking most powerful unicorn in this universe? These bunch of cunts are gonna get it, that’s for sure. So, I went into Rage Mode and exploded on them, kamehameha-style, demanding they tell me where Nyx was or else they’d end up as cacti.

The Everfree Forest… It HAD to be the Everfucking Forest. What is in the Everfree Forest that seems tied with my fucking livelihood? Maybe I should call that Donald Rump guy to start a tree cutting campaign. And so, I had to get my dumbass friends together and we immediately started searching the Everfree before dark because we didn’t want zombies, creepers, skeletons, and star spiders to start spawning everywhere.

We were beginning to lose hope when I heard lightning and knew it had to be Nyx. There are only two ponies I know who can do the Song of Storms and Luna’s too busy playing Halo 5. So, teleporting to the princesses old castle I noticed that it was being destroyed by Philomena’s angry relatives on catapults.

And who the hell designed their castle in the first place? I got lost at every turn and in each room I entered there was this red turd saying that my little nightmare was in another room. What. The. Fuck. Soon enough, I found Nyx. She was laying on the exact same spot where we fired our orbital friendship ray on Princess Luna. She said she remembered wanting to hurt me. She remembered resenting ponies. She remembered wanting revenge. I was worried that my plan was going to blow up in my face once more and was readying my forget-me-stick when Nyx started crying.

She was afraid of herself. She was downright terrified. I knew for sure that Nyx was definitely Nightmare Moon incarnate. I didn’t care. So, I hugged and consoled her, saying that everything will be alright. I have to protect her from her memories. For her sake. Because I lov—

...What the buck is happening to me?

-Twilight Sparkle

Dear Construction Worker Ponies,

We are in need of a new wall for the Golden Oak Library because today a side of it was ripped right off when Twilight Sparkle tried bringing her cousin Nyx to School. Honestly, I think cousin, Nyx, is too clingy to the Library. I blame the purple bitch.

Underrated and underpaid,
Fax Machine Spike

Dear Nyx,

So I’ve been feeling a little loopy when I saw you today and I’m wondering are you single?

Wooed over,
Leman Rush Lemon Russ

Dear Lemon Russ,

Back off, Romeo. I saw her first!


Dear Cheerilee,

I prefer if you not talk about our bedroom life to others.

Big Mac

Dear Sister,

Will you stop playing Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker? That stupid noise from that lightning woke me up from my beauty sleep.

Sleep deprived,
Princess Celestia

To Miss Gray Gale, Night Wind, and Mr. Stonewall,

Our Queen lives once more. High Prophet Spell Nexus has seen the signs. The Song of Storms has been played! Our Hero and Savior has returned! Be on the lookout for our Queen.

-Brother Proper Etiquette

Dear Pinkie Pie,

As a friend, I need to say this. GET FUCKING REHAB, BITCH!!

Fed up,
Rainbow Dash

Author's Note:

Original Story Here: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/41596/past-sins

Please Keep in mind that this Fimfiction is not an attack on the Author or His Work. I actually like his story and this letter is done just for the laughs. I have already gotten permission from the author.

Appreciate every like, comment and follow and please tell more people about this story:scootangel:
Try to spot all the references :rainbowlaugh:


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