• Published 7th Nov 2015
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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse - MixMassBasher

Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia's most prized and faithful student, is being sent to Ponyville to learn about the magic of friendship. And she's not happy about it.

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Love Arrows of Doom by Rated Ponystar Chapter 2

Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Love Arrows Of Doom: Chapter 2: An Archer Strikes... And Totally Fails, OR (Hearts and Hooves Day Disaster)

Dear Diary,

So, I'm off to save the day. Have no fear... The Pink Arrow is here! But who should I assist first with my love poison tipped arrows? Thankfully, I saw a brother and sister arguing so I decided to use my "Family Love" arrow to remind them how stupid their petty arguments are and they should start caring about one another instead. I've lived through so many arguments with my husband and sister-in-law enough to know that. And just what happened instead? I somehow shot my incest arrow by accident. Shoot! I was saving it for Applejack and Big Mac. Oh well, I kind of prefer shipping Big Mac and Miss Cheerilee, anyway... But now that stallion is trying to screw his little sister, so I had to fix this before I get sued for this clopworthy mess. So, I started shooting a barrage of arrows at them, but they kept missing. Did that damn stallion have a power shield on him or something? Hopefully those stray arrows didn't hit anypony else... But finally I resolved the situation before it escalated any further. Okay, note to self... Don't blindly shoot arrows and be more attentive of the situation at hand. Seriously, that could have gone better than expected...

Nevertheless, despite this setback, I was not going to give up anytime soon. I was ready to help even more crystal ponies with their love problems! I didn't just get dressed up in this getup to do nothing. But, why? Oh why were so many ponies already in love with each other!? On Hearts and Hooves Day, of all things! How am I supposed to rush in and save the day? The worst part was that when another potential problem was spotted, it ended in an even bigger disaster! And just how did that happen? Well, let's just say that it started with a blabbermouth spouting stuff that caused more potential love problems due to me shooting him with a Courageous Heart Arrow. However, there were too many to fix at once so I whipped out my Love Bomber 2.0 Arrow (Don't ask what happened with Love Bomber 1.0) and exploded the entire vicinity in fifty shades of pink. This event lead to an orgy party that I will not speak about in detail here, but I'll admit that I'm surprised that the Crystal Heart didn't shatter into a million pieces again from too much love in the air. And now I've run out of arrows... Well, that's what I get for getting a Power V enchant on my bow instead of Infinity I. Perhaps I should stop shipping in the Crystal Empire and ship myself to Ponyville to fix relationship problems there.

Princess Cadance

While Princess Cadance The Pink Arrow was shooting random arrows in all directions, Flash Sentry was diligently patrolling along the Crystal Empire when he saw a poster of Prince Blueblood in a pose.

"Ugrh! What an egomaniac. That dirty son of a b—”

Suddenly Flash Sentry was shot by a stray arrow.

“—b-b-b-beautiful princess! Oh! My! Celestia! He's gorgeous!!"

With that Flash Sentry ran off to pursue his dreamboat...

Dear Princess Cadance,

Your arrow shooting sucks! My advice would be to try some Z-Targeting.


Dear Captain Shining Armor,

Permission for me to have a leave of absence, sir. It’s Hearts and Hooves Day and there is somepony back in Canterlot I want to confess my feelings to. He’s somepony I believe is worth pursuing.

Flash Sentry

Dear Flash Sentry,

Him? Well... go on ahead! Of course you can take the day off! In fact, take a week off! Go tell that stallion how you feel! Love is in the air. Have fun.

Captain Shining Armor

Dear Diary,

Today Flash Sentry went into my office and I had half the mind to send him to his own death sentence. Now, don't get me wrong, he's a good guy, but how does he not remember how others shipped us together back in the barracks? And now soldiers are shipping him and my sister because of one little glance at each other? The only reason I send any stallion to a task that could lead to certain death is that death itself is better than being with my sister in bed. The last thing I need is for my soldiers to contract whatever STD my sister has gotten from her sexual endeavors. I'm giving them a swift and honorable death instead of a slow, painful and mentally scarring one. So, I'm glad Flash is no longer pursuing my crazy sister and I hope the stallion he's hitting on is a nice guy. And man, I really love this holiday! I hope Cadance’s Hearts and Hooves Day adventure is going well!

Captain Shining Armor

Dear Princess Celestia,

I would like to request a transfer and promotion for Private Flash Sentry who has shown how dedicated he is for the position of Lieutenant. I feel the Solar Guards could use a stallion like him in Canterlot as he reminds me of myself in my old days. Why, you could say we’re best friends!

-Captain Shining Armor

Dear Captain Shining Armor,

Stop promoting every stallion that does not want to be in bed with Twilight. It's getting very annoying.

Princess Celestia

Author's Note:

Original Story Here: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/243177/love-arrows-of-doom

Check Out The Author: http://www.fimfiction.net/user/Rated+Ponystar

Sorry for the long wait everypony...

With my final exams coming up I had to take a long break to study. Though... my exams ended a month ago... I've been taking a slight vacation after that:twilightsheepish:. What with binge watching Pokemon XY and XYZ, writing my contributions to Milesprower06 Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student and reading other stories on fimfiction. My bad... Hopefully I get in the mood of writing this story or maybe I should start writing new stories.

This is MixMassBasher signing out.

Please Keep in mind that this Fimfiction is not an attack on the Author or His Work. I actually like his story and this letter is done just for the laughs. I have already gotten permission from the author.

Appreciate every like, comment and follow and please tell more people about this story:scootangel:
Try to spot all the references where it be from the show or from other media:rainbowlaugh:

I'll also like you to tell me what made you laugh and what I can do to improve on for better inspiration for these letters.


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