• Published 7th Nov 2015
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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse - MixMassBasher



Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia's most prized and faithful student, is being sent to Ponyville to learn about the magic of friendship. And she's not happy about it.

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Past Sins by Pen Stroke: Chapter 14

Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

Past Sins: Chapter 14: Once a Crusader OR (Cutie Mark Minions)

THE FOAL FREE PRESS
ETERNAL NIGHT: BLESSING? OR SUFFERING?

A week since Eternal Darkness … A TON of shit has happened since then. Initially, the ponies of Equestria thought that it was just another stupid prank by Trolestia like that time she cried out to the public Tirek has escaped Tartarus. Well one week in and ponies soon realize Nyx Nightmare Moon’s Return was the real deal.

Hopefully the Tirek escaping Tartarus was still a prank…

With the new era of Nightmare Moon’s reign, many ponies are unsure at how to react to these phenomenal changes.

Some are terrified like The Flowers Ponies of Ponyville whom reacted by fainting onto the ground screaming: “The Horror!!! THE HORROR!!!”

Some are rejoicing? Like a certain pink party pony that has since set up a large party in Canterlot singing Thriller all night long. Guess ponies really do hate Celestia…

When approached Pinkie Pie commented, “I wished this party would last all night long!! Oh Wait!! It is Eternal Night like forever. Yippee!!”

Most creatures outside Equestria have now renamed Equestria “The Night Zone”. Cause it’s fucking dark out! Nothing but floating eyeballs all around screaming “Who turned out the lights!” Thousands upon thousands of ponies have been reported injured due to slight disability from the lack of vision. Household activities can now be fatal.

“Visual Disability? I don’t see any problem with it…” says a derpy eyed mailmare.

This lack of vision came to a point where ponies started hallucinating that the moon is inching closer onto Equestria with a wicked smile on its surface.

Meanwhile, the Job Industry has also faced many changes.

Nightclubs are all the rage now so prostitution has increased rather quickly.

Jobs in Astronomy have also skyrocketed with the newfound opportunities of seeing the starry night 24-7. One pony in particular by the name of Vixen One Ear is planning on painting a portrait called Starry Night that will most likely be critically acclaimed by many Canterlot Nobles.

The Farming Industry has benefited more with the sales of Twittermites in a jar coming at an all time high. Thus overbreeding of said creatures is in abundance. Scientists have claimed that this overpopulation of Twittermites can lead to the extinction of the firefly population where some name this event The Grave of the Fireflies.

However, despite all the increase in some job industries, jobs as Miners has dwindled rather drastically especially in the region of District 12 cause you know the saying: “Don’t Mine At Night.”
And thus, the Gem Industry has been severely affected as a fashionista has whined pointed out.

There’s even been complains coming out of the blue by security workers at local Pizzerias everywhere. This angered fueled uproar has lead to these security workers forming riots outside Nightmare Moon's Castle screaming “Come On! 6a.m.!”

Why they are doing this? Nopony knows.

Weather reports have also shown that more manmade wild fires are happening everywhere. Reasons leading to this are due to ponies desperate enough to have a little bit more light and warmth in their lives once more. Sadly, warmth and light are short-lived as fires are immediately washed away by Tidal Waves, Cyclones and Tsunamis caused by the standstill of the Moon’s stationary orbit. This have left many soaking wet.

Well so much for that idea.

With the persistent lack of the warmth from the sun, Eternal Blizzards are more frequent now. The Windigos are sure making a big comeback since first Hearth’s Warming Eve. Pitch Black also tried to make a great comeback by rampaging to pony’s dreams but Krueger beat him to the punch.

Thankfully we ponies rarely sleep these days as a rainbow haired pegasus explains, “You would think Eternal Night might mean more nap time. Sadly that’s not the case.”

Research has shown that the Timberwolf population has increased very rapidly since Eternal Night. This might not bring much concern as they stay in their territory of the Everfree but their noise pollution from all that howling at the moon kept many residents of ponyville awake at night. EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. DAY.

You would think in all this chaos Discord would have escaped once more.

Many have tried very strange methods to bring back the sun. Either by, pleading to Nightmare Moon, contact the Humane Torch to be their new sun or even tried throwing a great big fireball from a catapult onto the Moon’s surface and see if it sticks there long enough to be their new sun.

I mean we reporters tried contacting our friends’ rooster dad to cock-a-doodle-doo the sun back but she kept saying she’s not a chicken!

So now the obvious solution is for us news reporters to infiltrate Nightmare Moon’s castle and try convincing our friend to stop this madness. As our teacher suggested.

CUTIE MARK CRUSADER MASTER SPIES!! YAY!!!




Next Issue: Night Vision Potion Scam by the Flim Flam Brothers. Claiming their potion prevents night blindness when it instead was actually a blindness potion.


[The Diary of Nyx Nightmare Moon]

This whole week has been the best days of my life. I honestly should have grown up sooner.

First off, I celebrated my righteous victory with lots of booze. Specifically with drops of moonshine and mugs of hard cider. I must have partied really hard cause the next day I woke up on the floor holding a teddy bear with a black rapper in my bathtub. Best. Night. EVER!!!

Next up was redecorating my new bedroom in Canterlot, I had to remove all these carrot-shaped plastics strewn about Celestia’s bed chambers. There was even a cupboard filled with ponies that seemed to be bind and gagged. Throwing them all into the incinerator, I fitted my new armor wardrobe into the cardboards, transferring all the books in the royal library into my room, placing my large Twilight Plushie on my bed as my personal punching bag and a large mirror worthy of a Queen such as myself. Though the mirror doesn’t seem to show my reflection and somehow my hoof can go through it.

Celestia dammed you Bloody Mary!!

Finally, on my agenda as new empress, I had to deal with a lot of political bullshit. Set up some stupid new laws, backstab my own people, and crush any stupid idealist set in the “old ways” of admiring the sun. You know… like what all politicians do these days.

The past week more or less has been all about transferring the power over Equestria from the Royal Pony Sisters to me. The Ponies of My Cult were put into important positions of power.And of course the stupid nobles were acting all high and mighty about how I was disrespecting their “Royal Blood Lineage” but in the end were real pushovers. Just execute whomever that annoys me. Easy solution.

There was still more resistance from the Apple Families since they have such great experience in the old war days but resistance was futile especially when I kidnap their children, though my magnificent singing voice, into my garden of shadows.

I mean what are they gonna do now? Send a plague of locusts?

Thankfully, more ponies are now joining the Dark Side every single day. This has become even faster when Spell Nexus participated into spreading my “blessing” around. In fact, Prince Shining Armor has now joined our cause as Captain of My Guard and is now hunting his own wife whom is part of the resistance. Either he did this willingly or he was brainwashed again. It’s hard to tell with his one-dimensional character trait.

I still visit my moth- Twilight Sparkle at the dungeons every now and then. She still thinks I’m not truly happy ruling over Equestria. Hmph! As if. I’m perfectly happy being isolated from my old friends, having to deal with political shit every 5 seconds and being bossed around by Spell Nexus despite the fact that I’m the motherfucking Queen of Equestria

See! I’m perfectly happy.

So I deal with my happiness by gorging myself in the finest food by my personal chef; Seafood Dinner. The best chef in all of Equestria can’t follow simple orders to cook a simple celery soup and daffodil sandwich but instead I get a fucking buffet to fatten myself up with.

I bet one of those blue dungeon rats can cook better this deaf bastard.

And Today’s Special? I find three fillies on my dessert plate. What. The. Fuck. Nightmare Moon does not eat ponies. Who the fuck thought of that idea? I prefer candy thank you very much.

Hey wait a moment here. These are my old minions! What the hell are they doing here? Jumping around on the bed like a bunch of brain deficient monkeys. Then they asking annoying fucking questions like “How did I get so big?” or “Why I still don’t have my butt-sticker?” or “How can you still walk with fifty tons of makeup on your face?” or even “If I could bring the sun back?”

Was this what I was like when I was their age a week ago? I somehow fucking hate myself energetic and cheerfully annoying self now because of this. Was I mad at them for coming here? No. Furious? Hell Yes. They ate my fucking dessert!! Maybe I should become cannibalistic and eat my minions.

These ideas, however, were put on hold when Spell Nexus barged in. He immediate demanded to execute my old minions almost immediately. Urm.. Helloo? Who does he think he is? Does he forget I’m the fucking Queen. I’ll do what I want. So, I sent them to the dungeon. What was he going to do about it? I could execute him at a moment’s notice. Furthermore, he somehow allowed three fillies to enter to my royal chambers despite a ton of guards standing in the way. The nerve of him. I should get him demoted.

A dessert-deprived filly ruler,
Nyx


Nightmare Moon sat there, staring at her recent diary entry, with a frown upon her face.

The CMC were no longer her minions. But they were still her minions. Perhaps she was being a little too harsh.

Nightmare Moon stood up from her bed and moved over to her writing desk. There, she began writing a letter very quickly and rolled the letter into a scroll before sending it to dungeons via magic.


Meanwhile, in the dungeons…

Twilight Sparkle was pacing back and forth in the dungeons, creating a rather large straight depression on the floor about 2 metres in depth, when a scroll suddenly appeared out of thin air, startling Twilight.

Curious, Twilight moved over to the scroll, opened it with her hoof, and began to read.

Twilight,

My old minions tried sneaking into the castle, somehow undetected, to my bed chamber. They are now currently being taken down to the dungeons and will be placed in the same cell as yours soon.

I may not be their leader anymore but I do not want to see them get hurt in the Eternal Cold that is outside these castle walls. I rather see other ponies achieve suffering like Diamond Tiara for instance.

I know I have no right to ask favors from you at this point, but please do this for me

I will probably free them in a few weeks anyway, but, until then, I must ask that you try and keep them safe. Have fun.

-Nightmare Moon

P.S. This letter will now self destruct in 30 seconds.

Just as Twilight finished the letter, the letter exploded onto her face just as the door to the dungeon opened with the guards throwing 3 familiar fillies in the same room as her and slamming the door shut.

"Urgh! That hurt." Apple Bloom moaned rubbing her head with her hoof.

“Well. That was a bad idea…” Scootaloo muttered, looking around the dungeon walls.

“Urm… where do we use the bathroom?” Sweetie Belle asked, crossing her back legs.


Meanwhile, back in the royal chambers…

Nightmare Moon had just sent the scroll via magic when Twilight and Spike landed into her bedchambers in yet another alternate timeline for them.

"Starliiiiight Gliiiimer!!!" Twilight yelled. "I will fucking find you and murder your pathetic life!!!"

"Didn’t she already beat you like a million times already?" said Spike.

Twilight stared at Spike for a moment before smacking him in the face very hard.

"Oh shut up, Fax Machine! Now… what kind of fucked up alternate timeline did we land into this time?"

"Mom?”

Twilight turned her head to the source of the sound and stared in shock at Nightmare Moon who was looking at her with wide eyes.

Immediately, Twilight’s horn glowed, activating the time-travelling spell once again. As she grabbed Spike and prepared to jump into the portal, she just said one word.

"Nope!"


Dear Big Mac,

What the FUCK!! You didn’t check our tribute of apples to Nightmare Moon to keep her off our backs for our little sister?!? You know she and her friends chase trouble like it’s a game of tag.

An overbearing sister,
Applejack


Dear CMC,

Actually, I already escaped. I’m just taking a vacation from villainy. Too much work and too little payoff. Little Old Nyxie seem to handle tyranny quite chaotically so I’m taking the season off. See you in Season 3 Episode 10.

Your chaotic villain,
Discord

P.S. I was the one that was actually causing all the noise pollution at Ponyville. Sorry, foursome habits. I just love howling at the moon.

Author's Note:

Original Story Here: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/41596/past-sins

Please Keep in mind that this Fimfiction is not an attack on the Author or His Work. I actually like his story and this letter is done just for the laughs. I have already gotten permission from the author.

Appreciate every like, comment and follow and please tell more people about this story:scootangel:
Try to spot all the references :rainbowlaugh:

I'll also like you to tell me what made you laugh and what I can do to improve on for better inspiration for these letters.

Also,

BOW DOWN TO THE NYX REPUBLIC

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