• Published 7th Nov 2015
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Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse - MixMassBasher



Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia's most prized and faithful student, is being sent to Ponyville to learn about the magic of friendship. And she's not happy about it.

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The Day The Reading Died by DrakeyC

Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher

The Day Reading Died OR (Twilight the Bookhorse)

"Well, that's not gonna end well." Rainbow muttered staring back at the portal where Princess Twilight had left.

"Vvrrrrmmmmm!!!"

"Wait, did you hear that?" Rainbow asked.

"Oh! Are our butts vibrating again?" Pinkie gasped, looking to her flank.

"No. I believe it is Sunset wishing to speak with us," Rarity pointed out, pointing at the book on top of the portal lighting up and vibrating rapidly.

Rarity ran up to the portal and pulled it down, opening it for the rest of them to read.

Dear Twilight’s Friends,

What the hay happened!?!

We were in the middle of our Duel Monsters Tournament when Twilight comes running through the portal yelling that she's the living incarnation of the conjunction between our nouns before salivating into my textbooks. I swear, if Twilight wasn't a human at the moment, she'd probably get a wing boner treating school textbooks like they are some secret porn stash. Actually, scratch that. She normally acts like a book fetishsizing whorse... But that's not the point!

She's ruining our fun gaming session more than when I kept getting pwned by this spawn camping sniper on my gaming channel! And now, she's making a fucking book fort that's somehow taller than the school.

By Celestia, you better explain what the hell happened before Twilight starts raiding bookstores like the upcoming bookocalypse is happening at the end of this decade.

Your Perfect Pony Pal,
Sunset Shimmer

P.S. Please reply to me in this journal instead of all your personal books you got from that magical email-slash-telephone-slash-internet system fiasco a while back.


Dear Sunset,

Yeeeaah. It's a long story.

First off, it wasn't our fault of any sorts like with the Smarty Pants incident.

Actually, technically, it is. Isn't it?

Spoilers!

Well, we were only there just in time to see fireworks go off.

To start off, I was the one to see Twilight looking on the verge of mental collapse. I called the rest of her "friends" just so we could all laugh at the shit about to go down.

Yeah... it was pretty hilarious!

Anyway, to drive the plot along, I asked what was wrong, and she said she had nothing to read.

Which I figured was a load of horse apples. Considering she lives in a library, she probably didn't catch much sleep. It has happened before.

Like you during Applebucking Season?

Oh shut your trap, Rainbow!

Hush, darlings! But, surprisingly, it's true. She's read every possible book in Equestria. Which might explain her mental breakdown since she definitely would've read the Inspiration Manifestation somehow if she'd read every known book here.

Relax. That's not what happened here! It's just Twilight Twilighting!

I think that's worse.

Honestly, I'm more surprised she manage to read her entire read it later pile. Cause that's near impossible to do!

Eeyup! Either Twilight's a fast reader, or Equestria doesn't have much written literature.

Yet, somehow, she did. And now she had nothing to read. She's even mentioned that she started reading the instructions on seed packets.

Yeah. Did you know it costs fifty sun to plant a sunflower? I didn't know that until now!

The nonsense ponies like to put on the packaging...

Well, I wouldn't be so surprised. The seed packets were from the Bloom and Doom Seed Co.

She even managed to break into Sugarcube corner to read all the cookbooks. She also broke into my secret party cave and read all my party pony profiles.

That's concerning. That you have all our personal information and it got leaked to Twilight, of all ponies. You should go to jail for that.

Urm... Can we not discuss politics and get back to the story... Like... Now!?! Please!?!

...Yeah. In summary, Twilight was freaking out because she couldn't get her daily fix for her book reading addiction.

Yeah! Her existential crisis here was rather worse than when she found out Trixie was related to Star Swirl.

Though, not much surprise at that revelation. They're both jerks.

Really? Her freakout was worse than that incident? Personally, I think her freak out was worse than when Rarity thought she was getting grey hairs.

Spike... You and I will have words to discuss in tonight's study session for mentioning that little incident again.

Well, Spike, it was nice knowing you.

Back on point though. We sorta tried doin' an intervention right then and there. Using breathing exercises, checklists and even a good kick to the head!

Problem is, nothing worked.

Honestly, I'm more surprised that Twilight didn't consider becoming a writer then. If she's read all them. Why not make more of them herself. It's not like Equestria has any difficulty making books unlike the plot of the upcoming anime; Ascendance of A Bookworm.

!?!

!?!

!?!

!?!

!?!

That is... a surprisingly good idea coming from you...

Why thank yo HEY!

Sadly, none of us thought of that and Spike passively mentioned how there's still a ton of literature at your side of the mirror.

So blame Spike for your problems, not us!

HEY!

Well, it's true! Read the original story if you don't believe me!

Honestly, that was quite a relief for us. We manage to get rid of Equestria's worst princess.

Princess Celestia?

No! Twilight! Did you seriously read that Equestria Daily bullcrap!

...Anyway, that's what happened. I think you should just leave her be for now. She'll calm down... Eventually.

Worst case scenario, just put her in a mental institution.

Or an ICE detention center!

Same thing.

Signed,
Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie, Rainbow, Rarity and Spike

P.S. When are you and Starlight getting back together?


To Current Counsel of Friendship,

Don't you dare mention that witch!

She's knows what she did! We are not getting back together!

Your unforgiving pony,
Sunset Shimmer


Dear Sunset Shimmer,

Does this mean you are still up for that Power Pony Foreplay we had planned next week?

Just don’t tell Twilight. If not she’ll want to come back to Equestria just to watch.

-Spike


Dear Twilight Sparkle of this world,

Heard that you've run out of books to read. I perhaps may be of assistance.

I happen to own a library that has every book that has ever been written, every book that will ever be written, every book that has never been written, and every book that will never be written.

Signed,
Twilight Sparkle: Queen of Hell

P.S. Sorry about the bloody writing. Blood is the only ink usable here for some stupid reason


REPORT

BREAK IN AT CANTERLOT LIBRARY RESTRICTED SECTION

A few days ago, the night guards patrolling the the restricted section of the Canterlot Library were discovered unconscious by day patrol guards the following day. The night patrol had sustained multiple bruises all over their bodies and the one in charge of the night guards that night had a fractured forehoof.

Looking into the incident, the leader of the night patrol guard did not in fact receive his injuries from the perpetrator that entered the library that night. It was merely the normal guard incompetence that is common in the guard these days. However, for the other night patrol guards, that was not the case. Upon interviewing them, the majority of them could recall seeing a purple blur flying into their peripheral vision before being knocked out.

A ponyhunt has since been implemented to capture this purple pegasus pony perpetrator.

For now, an accounting of all the tomes of the restriction section is required to find out what missing forbidden books may have been stolen.

Signed,
Agent Sweetie Drops

Author's Note:

See Original Story Here

Check Out The Author Here


Please Keep in mind that this Fimfiction is not an attack on the Author or His Work. I actually like his story and this letter is done just for the laughs.

Appreciate every like, comment and follow and please tell more people about this story as I always appreciate feedback like what made you laugh and what I can do to improve on as a growing writer. :scootangel:

Try to spot all the references I made on other stories made by the same author:rainbowlaugh:.

For those of you that don't know. The part about the events of Lesson Zero being the rest of the Mane Six's fault (sans Twilight) is a nod to the original episode chapter for Lesson Zero in Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student

Also,

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