• Member Since 6th May, 2014
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Good authors too, who once knew better words, Now only use four-letter words writing prose. Anything goes. :raritywink:


Discord has only been improving, and Twilight wants to reward him with a little more responsibility. As a thank you, Discord rewards her with a shiny new vending machine for the Crystal Tree.

The problem? That vending machine dispenses bees.

Twilight now has a castle full of bees that will attack of she thinks the wrong kind of thoughts... That being said, if she thinks the right ones...

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 83 )

Okay, I had to do this:

I'm mad I didn't make that reference myself.

This was, indeed, very good. Authority is a tricky thing, and an important responsibility. I think Discord taught her a valuable lesson here, I hope she remembers it.

Will there be an epilogue ?

Funny story. Though I notice some errors. Hope this helps.

This was a terrible idea. It was honestly astounding how ill-advised this particular idea was, but it was the idea that Twilight was going with. She was prepared to face and recognize the consequences of this went awry. Which it most definitely would...


Saying that out loud made her brain nearly concave in on itself, but it has all been arranged. Princess Celestia had agreed, and Fluttershy had couched for Discord, so this was going to happen no matter what. The pretense behind this decision was to teach Discord a lesson in responsibility. When Twilight told him this, Discord seemed delighted. Which terrified her.


Discord and Twilight shared a laugh, and hugged each other. "Well," Discord said. "I'll try to control myself. In the meantime, however, If like to give you a little gift. Something that I feel has been sorely lacking in this castle."


"Well, I must be going!" Discord smiled, pulling a comically large picketers from nowhere and checking it. " I'm going to go pack. Remember, their more scared of you, than you are of them! "


Twilight spent the next three hours cautiously looking around every corner of the castle. Waiting on terror for whatever Discord had left for her. Twilight wasn't the hugest fan of surprises at the best of times. This could have stemmed from the fact that the majority of surprises she received were hideous monsters, and the rest of them were Pinkie Pie parties. Both of were were definitely exhausting, both of which were likely to cause grievous bodily harm. The one exception in this case was when her brother told her he was getting married to her foalsitter only a few days before the wedding. A wedding which ended in hideous monsters. Twilight felt she had every right to be cautious. Especially coming from the friend who had set up the surprise.


"Oh spike," Twilight said, tearing up. "You've been reading the books I've been getting you on your birthday..."


"Of course I have!" Spike smiled. "Well, I try. Normally i don't get too invested in them, and I don't finish. I will say that I liked the one about neuroscience. I don't know whether or not it applies to dragons, but--"


This story needs Nicholas Cage.

He just loves bees.


Hilarious. Continue

Taylor Hebert is proud

Discord, manipulating and guilt-tripping Twilight into 'having more faith in him' aka letting him get away with more stuff.
Bees, single-mindedly focused on serving their Queen, as a representation of Equestrians who might or might not even tolerate Discord, or be at all willing to go along with his ideas and desires.
Clever, and it certainly worked like a charm.

AAHH! No, not the memes! Not the memes!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

Well, that was fun. in a crazy sort of way. Bees... heh. Could have been worse. it could have been...


I'll pay for more!!! Oh god this is awesome!:heart:

"I... See," Discord said with an odd tone.

That phrase is already the new "Buy some apples!" Isn't it?

Nice one-shot author.
A good night time read.

"Spike," Twilight scolded. "Fluttershy,how could you possibly have figured that out? I actively told them to sting me."

You're missing a space before "how," after the comma.

This was hilarious!

what is THIS?
you had me hooked at "vending machine that dispenses bees"

now time to read it :D

Vending machine that dispenses bees?

I've played that game.

I fully believe that this could be made into a full story.

9220010 Son Goku, however, does not like bees.

Unfortunately, no one made a video clip of that DBZ:A quote... curse them all!

I now want a story where Twilight becomes a literal pony sized queen bee and has to start her own hive. Maybe she accidentally eats some magical royal jelly or something.

This was pretty good.


Except there is one problem with making a new Queen Bee. If there is ANY Accuracy to this game theory I saw recently which used bees to explain something... there needs to be a fight to the death.

I don't think it was about guilt-tripping Twilight into "letting him get away with more stuff" so much as a several-thousand-year-old entity getting a lecture on responsibility from a twenty-something is both humiliating and pointless. As he himself said, if she had real misgivings and felt he needed the reminder, she should have asked Celestia to talk to him. Twilight telling Discord to be responsible is like telling your grandpa how to chew cheese, if your grandpa hates cheese but is well aware of how to chew it.

The point wasn't "recognize that Discord is good and have faith in him", because he freely admits that all the terrible things he's done have been on purpose; the point was "recognize that Discord understands the concept of responsibility, and if you're going to lecture him, don't approach it from the perspective that he's a child who doesn't get how to be responsible but from the perspective of an adult who may not understand what he's expected to be responsible for." Discord already knows how to control his own powers well, and he has been a ruler before; what he might have needed help with would have been things like "how do you balance conflicting requests from your citizens in a fair way" or "what constitutes a ridiculous request you shouldn't try to fulfill vs something you should do for your people" or stuff like that, not a generic "be responsible, Discord."

I thought this was adorable, and everyone was very much in character. My favorite line:

"Any creature can be a bee if they believe in themselves," Fluttershy translated.

Which beautifully captures the combination of optimism and condescension we see so often in these "inspirational" type quotes. Obviously the bees think the best thing to aspire to being is a bee, and they're enthusiastic about giving others hope for achieving that pinnacle of creation, bee-ness.

I also liked the notion that Discord has very precise control of his powers and doesn't do stuff by accident. "Ill-advised? Maybe. Stupid? Most certainly. But never without intent" is a much better take on Discord than a version I see in a lot of fic who does stuff that then comes back on him and he can't control it (magically), frequently. (Not being able to control the consequences of something he did intentionally is canon, but I mean, losing magical control.)

She did a good job as a queen bee in the end. If only she could accept it.

Oh BEEhave lol.

Pretty sure Twilight would win.

And thus Twilight took up a new hobby until the new Queen was chosen, becoming the superhero, Dr Bees!

Is it... wrong.... That I seriously want to read more of Twilight being a ''Queen bee'' and having all these bees doing her bidding? XD

Or maybe it's just my desire for more Twilight as a changeling queen desire leaking through XD

It's amazing! And I really like this Discord. :pinkiehappy:

Hahaha! XD Nice! There were definitely a few laugh-out-loud moments.

Hey, I hope you don't mind, but I randomly decided to practice my editing on your story. I've got a degree in English and Creative Writing and editing is kind of a fun hobby of mine - mostly just technical errors, the little stuff most people miss. I kind of did everything in Track Changes mode in WordDocument, though. If you'd like a copy, let me know, maybe I can email it to you. =) Either way, lovely job and a neat moral!

Well that's one way to be queen for a day.

Yes, Discord, how dare she assume you have little sense of responsibility just because you have always gone out of your way to appear as random, whimsical and irresponisble as possible!

Listen, my chimeric friend, I'm not saying you haven't been using your powers carefully and responsibly all this time - it's possible, maybe even probable, that you have. I'm just saying that, when you build your entire public persona around seeming capricious, you don't really have a right to complain when people start thinking of you as capricious.

When Pinkie realized that ponies thought she couldn't be responsible, she set about proving, through her actions, that she could be. When Discord finds out that a pony doesn't think he can be responsible, he spends the entire conversation reinforcing that notion, engages in a manipulative scheme that basically boils down to whataboutism and then takes them to task for ever thinking the notion he reinforced.

Was Twilight somewhat condescending with her speech? Perhaps. But was she at fault for thinking that Discord might have problems being responsible? I would say not. And was Discord in the right for self-righteously ticking her off because she bought into the image he purposely and constantly presents? Oh hell no.

Yeah, it'd be nice if Fluttershy could pull him aside and point this out to him. Discord has way too much of "if people are going to think a thing about me, I'm going to double down and make it seem even more true even though it offends me rather than trying to defend myself" going on.

So very, very proud! And Twilight didn't even lose a limb in the lesson!

Another Worm Reader On FIMfic?!?! Thank you eden

Ok I understand, but I need you to ask yourself. When was the last time Discord express his feeling or opinion in a straightforward way?
Discord tends to never tell the straightforward truth, allways half-truths and misdirection.
Bottom line, Discord just likes messing with people. It's just how he is, and that what I enjoy about him.

Short but hilarious, it was a good read.

Short? This is the longest one shot I've ever done! They're usually half this length.

Maybe my sense of time been thrown off a little when reading, but I meant nothing wrong buy it.

I didn't think you did, I was just surprised.

...The one exception in this case was when her brother told her he was getting married to her foalsitter only a few days before the wedding. A wedding which ended in hideous monsters. ...

That's not nice! :c
Not ALL of us are hideous!

"Because randomness is the nature of comedy," Spike smiled wisely. "All comedy is is a subversion of standard expectations. What makes something funny is that it's very subtly off from what's standard. That's not just philosophical, either, it's scientific. When presented with a situation, especially a situation that it's familiar with, like staring at a vending machine, it sets up neural pathways that lead to all of the expected conclusions. Once you introduce a conclusion that falls outside of those conclusions, it has to make up a whole new pathway for what reality is. The energy spent making those expected pathways is then rapidly regained all at once, and needs to be expelled. Now, in cases of shock or surprise it's often expelled as a scream or yelp. However, in most cases you aren't in any danger. So that excess energy is expelled as laughter. Randomness isn't just funny, randomness is the scientific basis of all comedy. The subversion of general expectations. Somepony doing something that's entirely out of character for them, thus causing the standard neural pathways to be rendered useless. Randomness is comedy. There's no escaping it.

How come I never thought of it like that?

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