• Member Since 30th Nov, 2015
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Rambling Writer

Our job is not to give readers what they want; our job is to show them things they never imagined. --Walt Williams


This story is a sequel to Best Hell Ever

Once upon a time, Twilight went to hell. It wasn’t that bad. It was pretty great, actually. It had a library! A big one. Like, bigger-than-the-universe big. But then Twilight went and got herself kicked out of hell, and now she’s depressed.

There’s only one logical solution: with Starlight’s reluctant help, Twilight is going to break into hell and invade its library. Oh, it’ll be tricky — trying to find one specific location in an infinite dimension tends to be a bit hard — but the infinite knowledge it’ll provide is too good to pass up. Twilight will find that library if it kills her (which, since this is hell, isn’t the worst thing ever in the grand scheme of things).

There is absolutely no way this can possibly go wrong.

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 475 )

Oh, hell yes. (ha ha, hell. words. funny.)
This will go brilliantly! Twilight's plan is flawless and in no way will go completely wrong for the sake of the story and create eternal torment for Starlight.


I think most of us are Starlight in this scene :moustache:

“-the demons or- whoever runs the place found the error and sent me back here.” Twilight had a gleam of crazed determination in her eyes, now; Starlight scooched back a foot. “That library… It had every book possible, Starlight. Literally. And-”

Definitely Starlight in this scene :moustache:

“So what do you need me for?” More and more, Starlight was missing the days when “Hey, let’s go to hell!” was something you only said while drunk and not something your old teacher proposed as a casual weekend getaway.

Oh no Starlight, there is nothing "casual" about this :pinkiecrazy:

“Oh, that’s normal. It’s hell, what’d you expect? Just cast the silencing charm on page 36 and everything’ll be fine.”

....she is too into this :unsuresweetie:

Like hell this is going to work...

“Toothpaste contains crushed oyster shells. You’re brushing your teeth with DEATH! ”

That is the best line in the chapter. Dang, how are you so funny?

You have NO idea how happy I am that you're writing this sequel. The first was a blast. You could say I had a hell of a time. :raritywink:


“You can have the weekend off. Starlight and I are going to hell.”

“Okay. Cool.”

I love how Spike is just completely out of f:yay:s to give.

Spike was at the freezer in a second. He yanked it open and- Yes! Twilight had been telling the truth! Spike freed the double chocolate chunk ice cream from the freezer, retrieved a spoon, and dug in.

Okay, scratch that. The boy's got his priorities straight. :rainbowlaugh:

I was hoping you'd know, because I certainly don't.

“I’ll pardon you. Princeeeeeess! ”

And THIS is why Celly and Luna can't retire

A sequel to Best Hell Ever. This is going to be a hell of a ride.:trollestia:

Twilight has officially lost it.

Yes, I do have that much time :raritywink:

Comment posted by moviemaster8510 deleted Mar 30th, 2019

Deleted my comment because I’m a tremendous idiot.

Also, I can't remember if there's ever been a time I've genuinely cackled this loudly over a horsefic that wasn't outright on crack.

“Oh, just the Lesser Key of Solomane.”

That made me chuckle more than it should've

“The waves it makes have an imaginary wavelength.”

It' a devil's fork, isn't it?


Sulfur. And… was that brimstone?

I'm pretty sure sulphur and brimstone are the same thing...

All this so reminds me of Girl Genius. :pinkiehappy:
Have a fave, and waiting for more.

You make it sound as if there was a time she had it :twilightblush:

Damn, everyone needs to stop with these puns before all Hell breaks loose.

Seriously though, I enjoyed the first one, so this story should be great! Can't wait to read more of it! :twilightsmile:

Oh you're always in for a good time when Starlight is the sane part of your duo.

Thank you for writing this sequel. I needed this in my life.

My favorite kind of idea. :pinkiecrazy:

Okay, you, back to the nuthouse you go.

I'm not a squirrel, YOU'RE the squirrel!

A sequel I didn't know I wanted until I saw that it existed.

Starlights thoughts: Aw hell no.

Yes, yes, of course. *takes you back to the mental hospital*

If Starlight survives this, she's earned her wings. :pinkiecrazy::rainbowlaugh:

...If this doesn't have at least one scene where Starlight and Twilight are flank to flank shooting spells at a demon horde while heavy metal music plays it's going to break my little heart :pinkiesad2:

That being said...*does my best impression of Apu* YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD, I SALUTE YOU! :pinkiecrazy:

*immediately walks out wearing a pair of Groucho glasses*

Wouldn't Twilight being immortal ban her from the afterlife?

Why you looking at me? I'd be more concerned about the random jerk who went and downvoted almost every comment on this story.

9536852 Not eternal torment, of course. More like internal.... screaming.

Good point. *leaves to search for him*

But if she had …

*air horns* RAVE PARTEEEEEH!!!!

Technically, that'd just prevent her from using the usual method of arriving in the afterlife. Summoning, on the other hand, has no such restrictions... yet. No doubt they'll fix that loophole after this little escapade. And the next loophole she works out. And the next one. Etcetera.

9537748 Twilight would have a unique fate worse than death, then. After ALL of her loopholes have been fixed, of course.

Spike was at the freezer in a second. He yanked it open and- Yes! Twilight had been telling the truth! Spike freed the double chocolate chunk ice cream from the freezer, retrieved a spoon, and dug in. He wouldn’t eat all of it; just ninety-five percent of it. Ninety-nine percent. Even better, he’d have plenty of time before Twilight returned from hell, so he could take this nice and slow.

They grow up so fast :fluttercry:

:twilightsmile: I'm back!
:moustache: Oh!
:twilightblush: what's with the lingerie?
:moustache: nothing
:twilightoops: You ate the ice cream!
:duck: He had help
:twilightangry2: I wanted ice cream when I got back
:moustache: She wanted ice cream first
:duck: it was divine . . .
:facehoof: and you ate it in my bed.
:moustache::raritywink: kitchen really we saved the crackers and hay fries for bed :twilightoops:

All they have to do is make her BURN books for eternity. The pages are empty, but to her it seems like there are words.

Twilight's quest for infinite knowledge in hell. Will she succeed? I think she will, but I have a feeling that she and Starlight are gonna have a wild ride before they reach their destination.

Lol, I remember the prequel for this. I thought it was hilarious, so this sequel has a lot to live up to. I hope to see Discord make an appearance, preferably causing mischief.

Hell is not ready for Twilight Sparkle.

But has she considered that HER Hell is perpetually being unable to get back to her library even when IN Hell?

This. Very much this. But it would be a hell of a fun watch for us.

Love the references. Love the chapter as a whole. Can't wait for tomorrow! :yay:

Twilight looked. “Ooooof course. ‘We sell spatulas,’” she said, reading their slogan, “‘and that’s all.’” A sign in one of the windows caught her eye. “Huh. They’ve got a sale on hydrodynamic spatulas with port and starboard attachments. And it’s buy-one-get-one if you get the turbo drive version.”

Nice SpongeBob reference.

Obligatory Dimension Hopping Theme Music

Dante's Inferno / Pratchett's Eric + ponies

Awesome :pinkiecrazy:

Two separate Weird Al references in one chapter. Good job.

Nah, facing a livid Twilight's not worth it. Can you imagine how pissed she'd be with that? And if there's someone who could find a way to subvert hell, it's her.

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