• Member Since 6th Nov, 2011
  • offline last seen Wednesday

Pen Stroke


A fan-fiction author and game programmer that lives in Glendale, CA.

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Source

The princesses want to share a rare honor with Twilight and her friends. They will all journey to an ancient monastery where they can get in touch with new powers gifted to them by the Tree of Harmony. Unfortunately, to attend the monastery, Twilight and her friends must shave their manes and tails. Rarity cannot perform such an dreadful act without spending an evening saying her final farewells.

Inspired By: Meditation

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 102 )

:heart: I really enjoyed this... I hope you make another chapter to this on what happens next, I do love this as a oneshot though! :pinkiehappy:

Very well done story Pen, although it was a bit hilarious to notice the obvious plot hole covers in the beginning. :rainbowlaugh:

“It seems the princesses do try to think of everything, don’t they?” Rarity said.

:moustache: touché

Oh, Rarity! You really caught her drama-queen personality here. At least they didn't have to get their tails docked too. :raritydespair:

This... Just... This was a joy to read!

Brilliant work, dude!

~Skeeter The Lurker

Comment posted by TomaTanuki deleted Aug 26th, 2014

their tails? maybe the mane i can get but the tails are.............

you based this on that picture where the regal sisters had shaved their manes and were meditating, didn't you?

4908331

Yes, she didn't have to, but refusing would have meant not being allowed into the monastery.

Comment posted by TomaTanuki deleted Aug 26th, 2014

Just remember, everyone, that ponies are simply very large rats.

4908377

Yes, she could have refused to go, but she would have missed out on a deeply bonding experience with her friends that could also provide them with a power to defend Equestria.

So, yes, she could have refused, but peer pressure can be a strong influence.

Comment posted by TomaTanuki deleted Aug 26th, 2014

Penstroke I actually was saddened by this story, then the part about Luna flicking her tail actually was a little funny, hopefully u make a sequal to this telling about the monistary trip and them getting back. But let them acend with their element powers before they leave and allow their main and tails to grow back like raritys did in the first season second episode.PLEASE!

4908342

Let's see. What does the description say? :derpytongue2:

Inspired By: Meditation

Very touching lol and even pretty funny. My only small gripe was that whenever the word hair came up I keep thinking about their coats.

4908422 lol, missed that part to be honest.

Inspired By: Meditation

STOP STEALNG MY IDEAS! :rainbowlaugh:

Anyone else recognize the art being parodied?:derpytongue2:Ohh, that gave me a good laugh.

Poor Rarity!!!!!

4908615 I do not. Enlighten? :trixieshiftright:

4908810 This one here by Michelangelo:

christusrex.org/www1/citta/0w-Pieta.jpg

Even the hand gesture is identical.:derpytongue2:

you know, I really didn't like this. If Rarity's hair is that important to her she shouldn't have needed to shave it off. This just doesn't feel funny to me at all.

I didn't know the great Pen Stroke was into writing comady, I had a stroy Idea but I know you could write it much better, PM me if you want to hear it:raritywink:

You should so make a sequal out of this where they discover their advanced powers!:raritystarry:

I'm a bit disappointed that Rarity did what she did with her hair... I know she didn't want to spot it atop some Canterlot noble's head, but what about Locks for Love (or the Equestrian equivalent, assuming there is one)?

I know this story has the Six going to a monastery, but it brings to mind a couple of discussions on the boards regarding story ideas about ponies with serious conditions: depression (Robin Williams), ALS (Ice Bucket Challenge), and cancer have all been debated because of various "real world" issues finding their way into Equestria.

On a lighter note, I picture Rarity as the type who would eventually switch to wearing a wig and tail extensions as she ages, especially if she believes the hype about dyes and thinning hair.

I don't know. This is the unicorn who *slashed* her tail off at a moment's notice in order to console a sea serpent. Rarity has only grown and matured since then. I'm a little surprised you didn't bring that up.

Certainly, she would do all that she did for her mane that you had her do here and you captured her angst and such so very strongly. And I understand that while Rarity is Generosity, she's also Vanity. Just one of the things a monastery would smack out of her in no time.

This has been featured already! I'm impressed, to say the least. :twilightsmile:

Ri2

Well, that was fun.
Is it odd I'd like to see a sequel about all the no-doubt hilarious hijinx they get up to at the monastery? I mean, really, Pinkie at a sacred place of worship and study? That's a recipe for disaster. And comedy.

Well, she's nothing if not dedicated to her friends. :twilightsmile:

Great story!

4909169 A sexual? A sequel, you mean, I hope.

I didn't know what to feel here. Was it really a comedy? Maybe I am a drama queen too.
I didn't do anything special with my hair before going to the stylist for the first time in six years, yet I still doubted a lot.

4909470 i meant sequel:twilightoops: i didn't realise the spelling error:fluttercry:

ok, did u write the story?:derpyderp2:

Honestly, I didn't think I would like this, but I totally did.:raritydespair:

It was interesting to see the relationship she felt had with it, so sentimental. The entire over the top drama of Rarity was just wonderfully written, as was her ability to finally deal with it. Finally acting as strong as she would have if she still had her hair.

Rarity did cut her tail once before to help a seaserpent, though I feel that situation was different. Mainly because she was doing it to immediately help someone, unlike here where the benefit is much more abstract. I kinda feel like she tried to envoke that feeling again when she was talking about the greater good.

Though I do still kinda wonder about the wisdom in having some ponies hold vital information hostage untill you change to their value system. It struck me as odd, since going there to get a power to better defend the world is not the same thing as joining up to achieve some form of personal enlightenment.
Granted it is briefly explained as part of the process.

Anyway, moving on to a few things I noticed while reading:

“And how long will be gone?”

Will we*

“Princess Celestia has assured me all necessary plans have been taken care,”

Care of*

Perhaps it she was just going through some strange stage of impending loss, but she felt her hair had silent spoken to her.

-It
Had silently*?

Excellently done. The drama, the comedy, the sudden switch from one to the other, all magnificent.

Honestly, I figured their manes would all be restored to full ludicrous glory when they activated Rainbow Power. And Celestia and Luna would just have to look on with jealousy as the monks debated amongst themselves.

In any case, thank you for this story.

Hey look, it got featured...... I KNEW IT!

I actually cried, you could just tell how she is feeling, almost like finding out a loved one has a terminal illness. This is very good writing.

Probably the way I would react if someone told me that I could have anything in the world as long as I shaved my hair... :twilightoops:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::

4909965 Tis only hair. It'll grow back in a month or two (or for the length it's at right now, five or six)

4910421 Actually, hair grows at a speed of about 1.25 cm (0.5 in) a month. I cut my hair a few inches or so a few months ago and it's STILL not back to its old length. Rarity's mane and tail is pretty long, so it would probably take a year and a half or two years for it to properly grow back. And let's not even BEGIN to discuss how long it's gonna take Luna and Celestia! :rainbowlaugh:

While shaving Luna's mane and tail few scissors and one hairdresser were lost to the vacuum of space :pinkiecrazy:

the only thing that would be pure evil and also hilarious would be the monks in the Monastery allowed ponies to keep their mane and tail.

i wager Rarity would go berserk lol:raritywink:

This almost moves a bit too slowly. But I cannot say for sure where or how to tighten it up.

However, the overall impression is good. Because this explores Rarity's "melodramatic" nature so well. She is _sensitive_. Prone to getting _oversensitive_ when she focuses on something hard. She can lose the forest for the trees. But she always gets the forest back, it just takes a while lost in the trees first. :twilightsmile:

4909169

When they first used the Elements if regrew her hair. I hope the first time she taps the Rainbow Power it regrows

4909470
I dunno, Rarity x Rarity's mane may well be the closest thing this series will ever have to a canon ship :duck:

are you shure there shouldn't be a random tag on there? :trixieshiftright:

:raritydespair:

Oh well, greater good and all that.

But still, :raritycry:

I wasn't expecting much from this one, considering it's just a story about Rarity losing her hair. But This, is excellent. I very nearly skipped over this. I'm glad I didn't.

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