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Worried about her friends' mortality, Twilight hatches a daring plan. She probably should have told them about it first.

With thanks to, Lord of Dorkness, docontra, Luna-tic Scientist and JCatt for their help pre-reading.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 151 )

“Well as an alicorn I have a lot of soul to go around.”

Not if your dancing skills are anything to go by :trollestia:.

Skydrake #3 · Jul 9th, 2016 · · 1 ·

This has got to be the best "immortality angst" fic starring Twilight that I have read :rainbowlaugh: And while it might have been just a comedy (or was it!?), the voices of Twilight and Rarity were captured splendidly. A short and entertaining quality piece of writing, well done!

Hillbe #4 · Jul 9th, 2016 · · 3 ·

:twilightblush:I haven't finished Pinkie!:duck: I can still be a dragon can't I?
:moustache: cool!
:pinkiecrazy: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nicely done. good twist:twistnerd:

Maybe Rarity should stay immortal. After all, the more ponies that are around to tell Twilight all her ideas are bad ideas, the better.

The real plot twist would be if Twilight herself isn't actually immortal and then dies in a freak accident, and the other five, now immortal, are left behind to pick up the pieces.

“Yes, I want you to remove the pipe,” Rarity snapped, then seemed to remember her composure. “If you wouldn’t mind. And after that we shall, as a group, discuss our newfound lichdom before anypony else gets impaled.”

"Isn't that kind hypocritical since you say your current state is unnatural, and therefore you should be dead now? And therefore, made mortal again, and THEN have it removed, while first taking you back first where you had gotten impaled, so you don't have an unnatural time to get to the hospital?"

I'd be somewhat worried about having five (or four:pinkiecrazy:) liches eating away at an alicorn's soul, though. We know what happened the last time an alicorn went evil; with abnormally low soul levels in Twilight, might we be seeing another Nightmare soon?

7378003 I imagine that was why Twilight was planning on waiting before telling her friends...


She's just sharing her soul with her friends, it'll likely kick start their own Alicornhood.

7378053 Sharing her soul? Isn't that just what good friends are supposed to do? :twilightsmile:

Two punctuation errors in the summary:

Worried about her friend’s mortality Twilight hatches a daring plan.


Comma after 'mortality'

what my passing grasp of anatomy tells me is, my

This comma should be after 'me', not 'is'.

Well...that happened. :rainbowhuh:

Quite amusing, but I am somewhat bothered by the logic of scenarios in which something that would normally be tragic happens just so a plot point can be demonstrated. Such as in "The Mysterious Mare Do Well", in which Ponyville suddenly turns into a death trap so Dash and MDW can have something to demonstrate their heroism on. I know it's a comedy, but still...

"Oh sweet Celestia, there’s a pipe through your barrel!”

"Yes, dear, I know. I put it there myself."


"Well, if you must know, it started when I pricked myself with a needle this morning and neither bled nor felt pain. I began investigating the phenomenon, and things just sort of...escalated."

You, sir, have won the internet for the day

Neece #15 · Jul 9th, 2016 · · 1 ·

7378112 that is an absurdly plausible thing to happen. And hell yeah I want to see how that talk goes!

Well I just read that. I found it amusing. Good one


Dorky, is this a updated scenario from that fic you never got anywhere with?

Thank you so much. I giggled for a solid 5 minutes.

Seriously, this should be featured ASAP

This is a great, lighthearted take on something everyone else gets all lugubrious and grim about. Well done! :rainbowlaugh:

OK, this one was awesome. I wonder how Pinkie did it... But then again, there are things that Man (and Pony) is not meant to know...

Umm...how's pinkie pie not dead?!

7377998 Accepting that you will die eventually is different to accepting that you will die immediately.

This was hilarious!
It's Pinkie Pie, don't question it.

7379656 Unless I missed something, she just lost an arm which is hardly 100% fatal, more curious about the lack of bleeding then anything else.

That was really funny; great story.

(Hmn. The comma was bothering me, but now I'm not sure whether the semicolon is indulgent or just plain incorrect. Ehh.)

I remember this one. Great to see it on Fimfiction. Still an excellent treatment of Twilight's immortality blues. Plus, it gives her time to invent a less objectionable solution.

She's modular; we've known that since "The One Where Pinkie Pie Knows."

I actually like emotional immortality fics, but this was hilarious. Kudos.


Alex makes a good point. Essentially, Rarity died today. Accepting you'll die someday isn't much different from accepting you'll die right now, because you can only HOPE you live to a ripe old age and die when you're good and ready. Chances are just as, if not more, likely that you'll get a pipe lodged in your lung and die five minutes from now.

Either way, Rarity's complaining about her immortality when it just kept her from dying. She got a Free Continue. Might as well keep hold of it for now until something better comes along!

Now, while I don’t particularly relish the thought of drowning in my own blood, I do believe it is the customary response. Do you have anything to say about the situation?

Yeah, I'd say that's a pretty bang-on Rarity.

Funny how Twilight jumped straight to the dark magics for this, though.

7379869 Well, the books of Light Magic in most worlds all have the same thing to say about immortality spells, resurrection spells, raising the dead, etc: "Don't." Which does rather narrow the alternatives.

“Well of course Pinkie would be fine with it,” Rarity said, sighing. “Still, I believe my point stands.”
“Actually, I haven’t finished the spell for Pinkie yet.” Twilight frowned, glancing over her shoulder at the pink crystal that lay lifeless in the centre of the spell circle.
“Huh...” Rarity looked down at the pipe, then up at Twilight. “So, tell me again how you fixed the soul eating problem?”

Awesome work, well done.

7379656 she is the walking incarnation of ex machina

Yes but, isn't blood loss fatal?Cause if a limb is severed and the bleeding isn't stopped wouldn't a person/ pony bleed to death especially if it's connected together some major arteries?

Hang on, how do you rip someone's soul out without them noticing?

7377982 ooooh! That would make an EXCELLENT dark fic!:raritystarry:


Very carefully. Also it helps if you move through the astral plane using a sub harmonic spell to mask the ethereal ripples you create, and then apple a reverse frequency of the souls vibe in order to draw it out directly into the crystal or device you're planning on using. If done correctly, no one will ever know you were there...er, at least, that's what I've heard.

7380059 veeery caaarefully. A specially selected soul crystal. Triple purified. And the soul is pulled through an emergency induction port in the ritual...

"Emergency Induction Port..."

... A straw. You want to use a straw to suck out souls. :facehoof:

7379656 there are questions NOT to be asked

7380123 Eeeemergancy induction port...

7380049 Yes, but as said she wasn't bleeding at all, so there's no chance of death by blood loss. :pinkiehappy:

You know what let's just forget it and label this discussion under PINKIE LOGIC


Reminds me of a Voyager episode where a crew mate has to be saved using medical knowledge collected by an evil mad doctor, and after a big moral debate, they save the main character, and THEN delete all the info (which is kinda dumb since the knowledge still exists on every ship and archive in the Federation, all they did was lessen their own chances to lives).

7380138 Unless by asking them, Twilight can find a better way to keep her friends immortal. Personally, I hope she does because letting five other ponies eat your soul doesn't sound like a good idea.

Also, I feel like I've read this story before?

“It seems that despite earning their cutie-marks the Crusaders are still a hazard to everything in a hundred-hoof radius. However, I was particularly concerned by the fact that a pipe has penetrated through, what my passing grasp of anatomy tells me is, my lung. Now, while I don’t particularly relish the thought of drowning in my own blood, I do believe it is the customary response. Do you have anything to say about the situation?”



"You do realize that if I hadn't cast that spell you would be dead right now, right?"


7380483 pipe through a lung... well, technically it's fatal wound, but with magic and hospital nearby... well, it can be fixed....

Given the history of the C.M.C. and Equestria's Harmony Magic, Rarity probably wouldn't have been struck by the pipe if she was still alive.

He, Twilight is always fun when her dorkiness, immense ability and tendency to panic come together into some extreme behavior. This was pretty great.

Well done. I'd have loved to hear the reaction of the others though. I have a vague feeling that AJ would be upset. And Rainbow, once she realizes that being immortal makes death-defying stunts a little less impressive.

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