• Member Since 24th Mar, 2015
  • offline last seen 12 hours ago

The Hat Man


A man with a love of top hats and the finer things in life. Like aged rum. And UNICORNS.

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The stupidly-named holiday side story to The Iron Horse: Everything's Better With Robots!

Robot pony Turing Test learns about Hearth's Warming and decides to get a gift for Twilight and Spike to show her gratitude for all they've done for her, but she wants to do something special. No gift cards, socks, or box of sugar plums will do for this robot! To find the ultimate gift for her first Hearth's Warming, she'll go to the ends of Equestria!

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 35 )

Very nice. :)

This is great, if it wasn't for how the last chapter ended you might have been able to put this in the main story instead of a one shot.

“Let’s see,” she said, picking up one title after another, “there’s Past Sins, which is still pretty popular; and here’s University Days; maybe Asylum, if she’s into sad stories; A Dodgy Business is one of my favorites too; and we have The Reality I Choose, though honestly I think that one’s a bit overrated…”

Really Hatsie? Really?

“They’re doing holiday films, so I was thinking we could either watch Snowdrop or maybe A Hearth’s Warming Carol.”

:facehoof:

“As am I. I have acquired more metal polish and intend to rub myself vigorously once you and Spike the Dragon have gone to bed.”

Okay, that was actually pretty damn funny.

calories consumed on a holiday don’t really count anyway

That's some sound advice, there.. It's been scientifically proven, too. It does, however, have odd effect of causing your clothes to shrink and your scale to lie.

“This is a record for a group named Trots Siberian Orchestra.”

Good taste.

Turing Test,
I found this rock. It’s made of rose quartz. It made me think of you. I hope you like it.
Happy Hearth’s Warming,
-Maud Pie

Fuckin aaaaawwwweee...Personally, I kinda wanna see Turing and Maud shipped...

I loved this lil one shot. Very sweet and cute!!!

Very nice and heartwarming. Turing Test's gift was really thoughtful. :twilightsmile:

And TuringxMaud is always nice!

And depending of how the main story develops, you can include this story on it without any trouble (still hope for a bonus chapter with Detective Rarity and CSI Turing! :yay:).

beautifully done and heart warming! this truly showed the spirit of the holiday! thank you!

My gosh this was sooooo sweet. Cute story.

I was hoping Turing had recorded a conversation with Santa Hooves, just because Twilight hasn't had her entire world :twilightoops: <Wha-?) turned sideways often enough lately.

Trans Siberian Orchestra?

Santa Hooves is Best Reindeer :pinkiehappy:
Turing Test is best robot.

6772261 Coming from a talented author such as yourself, I will certainly take the compliment. Thanks, Georg! :twilightsmile:

And, in fact, I was inspired to have Santa Hooves be a reindeer after reading your story, which was very sweet and perfect for the season!

6770555 Yes, that exactly.

Also, whoever made that? BRILLIANT.

Robot do not have visions of sugar plums. What robot do have is LASER VISION.

Really nice add to the main fic. Definitely favourited.

Very good. Very, very good.:twilightsmile:

6777582 Perhaps Turing Test could ask for lasers for her next Hearth's Warming. Then again, the track record for robot ponies with lasers isn't very good...

6768254 6769124 6769246 6769958 6781613 6781902
Thank you all for the nice comments. I'm glad you all enjoyed my little gift for the holidays. :twilightsmile:

6768269

This is great, if it wasn't for how the last chapter ended you might have been able to put this in the main story instead of a one shot.

6768908

And depending of how the main story develops, you can include this story on it without any trouble

Yeah, it's soft canon. There's no particular time that it necessarily has to take place in the story as it stands, but I might make minor reference to it in the main story. It's just something I wanted to write for all the readers without really caring about how it fits in the main narrative, thus its status as a stand-alone one-shot.

6769590

I was hoping Turing had recorded a conversation with Santa Hooves, just because Twilight hasn't had her entire world :twilightoops: <Wha-?) turned sideways often enough lately.

Turing later tried to play a recording of her conversation with Santa Hooves for Twilight, but for some reason it was nothing but 30 minutes of static. Hmm...

6768908

And TuringxMaud is always nice!

6768287

Turing Test,
I found this rock. It’s made of rose quartz. It made me think of you. I hope you like it.
Happy Hearth’s Warming,
-Maud Pie

Fuckin aaaaawwwweee...Personally, I kinda wanna see Turing and Maud shipped...

Well, just wait a bit and we'll see. :ajsmug:

By the way, GG, sorry you and the other editors didn't get a crack at this one, but I wanted it to be a surprise for everyone, including the editing team. :twilightsmile:

And since you had several other good comments...

“Let’s see,” she said, picking up one title after another, “there’s Past Sins, which is still pretty popular; and here’s University Days; maybe Asylum, if she’s into sad stories; A Dodgy Business is one of my favorites too; and we have The Reality I Choose, though honestly I think that one’s a bit overrated…”

Really Hatsie? Really?

Who doesn't like a little self-deprecation humor in their holiday specials? :rainbowwild:

“As am I. I have acquired more metal polish and intend to rub myself vigorously once you and Spike the Dragon have gone to bed.”

Okay, that was actually pretty damn funny.

I considered having Rarity say something like "Yes, well... I certainly hope robots don't go blind," or something like that, but sometimes it pays to be subtle. Or at least as subtle as you can get with a masturbation joke in a holiday special.

Anyway, thank you once again everyone for commenting. As we head into the New Year, I'm glad to know I have such good readers who enjoy my work. Until next time!

6785556 Its cool Hatsie :twilightsmile: It was a nice surprise! And I like nice surprises! Much like a gift of a fine century vintage, it was pleasant and fully in good taste.

Huh, I was just thinking about the Trot/Trans Siberian Orchestra.

I enjoyed this very much, and am grateful that you're not one of those authors who forgets Spike exists every one outta ten times something significant happens regarding Twilight.

6785556

Turing later tried to play a recording of her conversation with Santa Hooves for Twilight, but for some reason it was nothing but 30 minutes of static. Hmm...

Somewhat obscure Sci-Fi references in your comments to comments. Good show.

6834316 What can I say? I always appreciate it when my readers make... Contact. :moustache:

*Gaaaaasp* Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh! :pinkiegasp:
The new author I enjoy reading has read and referenced A Dodgy Business (probably the first story I ever read on this site and waaaaay not famous enough for how good it is)!?! The embarrassing fanboy behavior has been squared! :rainbowkiss::raritystarry:

Haha, the fic and vid shout-outs were amusing.
All the d'aww has been received.
Keep going! ;)

...Have you considered to set up a "non-canon" side-story / story-collection for all the little pieces that don't fit into the main story?

I recall you mentioning intentions for a (real) Equestria Girls chapter, but couldn't figure out how to place it into the story. This would be the place for it. (And yeah, "April Fools" chapters would definitely fit in there, too).

An Equestria Girls chapter would definitely be interesting -----
I could easily see Sunset as well-versed in human sci-fi, and having read up on the current state-of-the art in "AI", "the singularity", AI-self-improvement, and the likes.

It also could directly contrast the effect of technological progress for better or for worse, versus how Equestria handled it so far.

Turing Test likes to read ---- wait until she sees the internet. :pinkiegasp:
And subsequently requests Sunset to assist in building an adapter to directly interface with it. :rainbowdetermined2:

"I HAVE ANALYZED OVER 9000 TERABYTES OF DATA. 73.6% OF WHICH CONTAINED EITHER CAT-PICTURES, SHORT-FORM SEQUENTIALLY ANIMATED IMAGES OF CATS, AND RECORDINGS OF CAT-VIDEOS. NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN. LEROY JENKINS."

As for other uses for a non-canon side-story collection...... I would love to see Turing Test foal-sit Sweetie Bot. :trollestia:

7224026 I haven't really thought about collecting them all in one place like that, no. I may publish more side stories in the Iron Horse universe, though. I've got one that's been in the works for a while, in fact! :raritywink:

I can see an advantage in having them all in one place, but I'd almost rather let each one stand on its own as something fans can either read or take a pass on at their leisure.

I feel very foolish, because I nonstop read through "The Iron Horse" and caught up to the latest chapter, but during that time I noticed that I had somehow missed something. Turing referenced Hearth's Warming, but I didn't remember reading a Hearth's Warming chapter. It took till now for me to actually check your user page then look at all your stories and realize you had a christmas short, the facepalm effect was strong, as a result.

7525267 Not to worry. I intended the story to be in the category of "canon, but skip-able." It was just a cute little side-story I did for my readers, but not something I expected too many to pay attention to. Of course, those who did got the extra bonus during the "Romance" arc.

Anyway, I'm always grateful and amazed to hear a reader say they marathoned The Iron Horse, since it has become such a long story. So thanks for commenting, and I hope you enjoyed this little holiday special. :twilightsmile:

This was incredibly sweet. Turing is such an adorable robot.

You know, I really do love this little one shot! I'm rather surprised you didn't include it in the Main Canon!

Although hopefully this means more readers and support for your main storyline! <3

By the way, I read this a while ago and really enjoyed it. Just thought I ought to say so officially, rather than just thumb it up. That is all. :heart:

Turing Test,

I found this rock. It’s made of rose quartz. It made me think of you. I hope you like it.

Happy Hearth’s Warming,
-Maud Pie

I still ship it!

“Let’s see,” she said, picking up one title after another, “there’s Past Sins, which is still pretty popular; and here’s University Days; maybe Asylum, if she’s into sad stories; A Dodgy Business is one of my favorites too; and we have The Reality I Choose, though honestly I think that one’s a bit overrated…”

“Sweetie Belle insists on seeing a film down at the theater, so I suppose I’ll have to take her,” Rarity said, biting into the cookie once it had been properly saturated. “They’re doing holiday films, so I was thinking we could either watch Snowdrop or maybe A Hearth’s Warming Carol.”

*narrows eyes*

I see what you did and I'm not impressed.

“As am I. I have acquired more metal polish and intend to rub myself vigorously once you and Spike the Dragon have gone to bed.”

SNERK

Jingle bells. Something red. A towering pair of antlers. And then, a deep, rich baritone voice right next to her said, “Well, Miss… you look like you need a lift.”

Wait what

“Oh… oh, Turing Test!” Twilight managed to say, her voice breaking. She ran over to her and held her in a tight embrace, Spike immediately following her. “It’s a wonderful gift. Thank you so much!”

Turing is pure and wonderful and I love her.

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