• Member Since 25th Mar, 2015
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago

The Hat Man


Specialties include comedy, robots, and precision strikes to your feelings. Hobbies include hat and watch collecting. May contain alcohol.

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A series of strange and singular stories picked properly from a proliferation of perplexing and pleasing prompts now audaciously authored into an annotated anthology by a meticulous, methodical man in a high, haughty hat.

...Or, to put it simply, this is a collection of tasty, bite-sized stories typically written for speed-writing contests or just because the fancy took me!

I hope you enjoy them! Kindly consider adding it to a bookshelf as stories will be ongoing.

Cover art by Colby Green at Snailbunny Designs.

Chapters (7)
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Derpy is asked to house-sit for the Doctor. She's eager to help out her favorite stallion... until she has one of her little mishaps and smashes one of his most prized watches.

Now she has less than a day to fix or replace it before the Doc returns. No problem, right? After all, how expensive can a "Ponex" watch be, anyway...?

Chapters (1)
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This story is a sequel to The Iron Horse: Everything's Better With Robots!


Introducing your family to your girlfriend can be tough. Not telling your family that your girlfriend is a ROBOT is not going to make it any easier...

After over a year together, Maud Pie is finally introducing Turing Test, her robot girlfriend, to her parents. The real problem: her traditionalist parents have the final say on her partner, and now she and Turing only have until Hearth's Warming Day to win the Pie family's approval. If they fail, then the only Hearth's Warming gift they'll be receiving is heartbreak.

Chapters (5)
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A Cease and Desist letter may spell the end for the Rainbooms. They'll need to fight for their band's future in this tale of music, litigation, the 60s being kinda weird in general, and Rainbow Dash being a frickin' idiot.

Winner of the Quills and Sofas "3-Lines" speedwrite challenge.

Chapters (1)
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Aboard a rocket ship, Stellar Skies and crew are about to become the first ponies in orbit. But as the countdown begins, she remembers the stallion and life she left behind.

Written originally as part of a speed-writing challenge for Quills and Sofas Speedwriting, but I decided to publish it in honor of the NASA and SpaceX launch of Crew Dragon on May 30, 2020, the first manned launch from the U.S. in almost a decade.

Warning: While not graphic or violent, this story does touch on the topic of emotional abuse.

Chapters (1)
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Radio. The first national broadcast across Equestria is about to happen. But even as radio towers are raised across the nation, Princess Twilight calls upon three musicians to make it truly historic.

If radio is to be more than a passing fad, how can it prove its worth? And if faraway music is to be heard in ponies' homes across the land, what song shall be the first to grace the airwaves?

Chapters (1)
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Newlyweds Lyra and Bon Bon want to spend a quiet Hearth's Warming together, but when a holiday-themed monster known as the Krampus shows up and ponies start vanishing, Bon Bon's old monster-hunting agency calls on the pair to stop the creature before it's too late. Can the pair of secret agents take down the Krampus before it's too late, or will their first Hearth's Warming as a married couple end in disaster?

Post Season 9; based on the mythical Krampus of European legend.
Cover image by Colby "Greenfinger" Green.

Chapters (3)
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"The stars are GONE!" Twilight declares at an emergency faculty meeting at the School of Friendship. Is it an impending apocalyptic disaster... or is this a classic case of Twilighting? Starlight's got a guess...

WINNER of the 1st "Quills and Sofas" Group Speed-Writing Competition!

Also, may contain some real gripes from a real high-school teacher who knows some academic horse-hockey when he sees it...

Cover image used with permission from OinkTweetStudios! Check 'em out, they do awesome work!

Chapters (1)
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Hallo! Sorry I'm late. But then, it seems... so are you, Rainbow Dash.

And so the late Rainbow Dash comes face to face with Death himself! And he's... surprisingly cordial, actually.

But when Rainbow ends up in his debt, there's only one way to get back to the life she knew: take up the role of the Grim Reaper herself while Death takes a little holiday. Will Dashie be able to stay quick among the dead? Will she be the most awesome reaper ever... or will Death have to cut his vacation - and Rainbow's life - tragically short?

(Apologies and honors to the late Sir Terry Pratchett.)
Editors: Reese, GenerousGhibli, E3gner
Illustrations: Greenfinger

Chapters (7)
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This story is a sequel to The Iron Horse: Everything's Better With Robots!


Hearth's Warming with the family is traditional! A family made up of robots? That's less traditional. Turing Test, the robot who learned all about friendship from Twilight Sparkle, decides to unite her robotic siblings and their creator for a holiday gathering in Mustangia in this collection of silly and occasionally heartwarming vignettes.

Chapters (8)