• Member Since 25th Mar, 2015
  • offline last seen 8 hours ago

The Hat Man

Specialties include comedy, robots, and precision strikes to your feelings. Hobbies include hat and watch collecting. May contain alcohol.


This story is a sequel to The Iron Horse: Everything's Better With Robots!

Hearth's Warming with the family is traditional! A family made up of robots? That's less traditional. Turing Test, the robot who learned all about friendship from Twilight Sparkle, decides to unite her robotic siblings and their creator for a holiday gathering in Mustangia in this collection of silly and occasionally heartwarming vignettes.

Chapters (8)
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Comments ( 74 )

So, 002 secretly founded Aperture Science?

Real cute! Thank you for the Christmas gift.

It was a triumph!

You are welcome! I'm glad you liked it!

Merry Christmas Hatman

With all the Christmas cookies going around I'm not sure how much more sweetness I can take. But this is very sweet, and do I see potential sequel threads?

Thank you very much for this. Merry Christ-hanu-quanza-don Warming.

Okay, this story was just precious. Now I kinda wonder what 002 will say when the changeling reformation happens ... (probably that unlike Chrissy, she can keep her drones in line, but what can you do?)
I love this story, especially because everything 001 does is adorable (interesting to know that her way of speaking is a result of her difficulty in vocalizing her thoughts not of the thoughts themselves).
The one minor gripe I have is the first chapter stating that Turing is 'one of many' robots. I know it's a matter of personal opinion, but at least to me, five does not constitute 'many'.
Regardless of that though, this was wonderful, and Happy Hearths Warming

I want to comment, but everything I type keeps coming up dirty. I love it. Keep it up. More! More! (wait a minute)

Ri2 #9 · Dec 26th, 2018 · · · Three ·

...Wait, Turing is fully functional?!

Ri2 #10 · Dec 26th, 2018 · · · One ·

Huh. I had no idea 001 was so erudite inside her own head. Shame she can't express herself so clearly.

Ri2 #11 · Dec 26th, 2018 · · · Four ·

It's amazing how much more likable Cobbler is when he's acting like a proud father instead of a raging vengeful hypocrite.

002, huh? I was wondering where she was...


I wonder if there's any chance of adding more robots to their family. Is Cobbler prohibited from making new kids?


Awww. Shame 002 isn't there, though.


Now that was just delightful. Cobbler didn't question Turing's meeting with Santa?


Oh, there you are 002.

I'm a bit concerned about what she might have been up to...

This was absolutely adorable!

I like how much Turing and Maud care for each other. How they interact fits so well.

I love how you added 001's thoughts. Even though you have implied and (practically shown us) it before, you really emphasized in this story that 001 is basically the equivalent of a mentally challenged kid that is as sweet as the peaches she picks. (I do not know for certain which one she might be, I think it's close to autism, but if I'm wrong, please, please, please correct me, I would like to see what you think.)

004 is learning and is growing so much. And I love he got his new voice. IDEA!!! Since you mentioned possible dangers to Turing Test and her family, and you said he can still use his old, more menacing voice, you could do a story where 004 is learning about his emotions and himswlf as a pony when someone (maybe one of those bitter Old Techquestria ponies you mentioned) threatens his family (which would mostly include Turing Test and Cobbler). He then calmly approaches the villain and then using his menacing voice (and perhaps switching into a more powerful form, like A form, if only for a few seconds), pulls a "If you hurt my family, I will pulverize you" kind of moment scaring the pony off.
This could really let his character development and growth shine. If you include Unit 002 as part of the family he's protecting, then it could a moment for Unit 002 to start respecting Unit 004.

Unit 002 seemed exactly as she should be. She was mischievous, snarky, had an attitude, and seemed unaccepting. All the little details you mentioned opens up the series to so many different possibilities for ideas. Because as this story shows, she's not emotionless. She cares for Turing. Even if you take that out, she has snark and attitude. That wouldn't be possible without emotion unless she was programmed to be like that. (Personally, I feel as if she cares for all of them and that she is just bitter (for good reason) and due to her former situation, she feels the need to be independent. I mean, her dad and everyone else kinda used her and essentially enslaved her. I also have a feeling she is trying to rid herself of these feelings because 1) She is bitter and doesn't want to be similar to those "stinky meatbags" that did that to her and possibly 2) She is scared to have emotions. She thinks having emotions will hurt her more than help her. This would explain her reluctance to be around anyone. But no matter how far away she stays, she can't get herself to stop caring about Turing, her sister and one of the mares who helped free her from her enslavement. In reference to the story idea I gave earlier, if a Old Techquestria pony captured her and the other family members and then Unit 004 saved her, it would probably increase her overall respect for him.

I wish you could add a epilogue where it shows them all saying goodbye. (Maybe add how one of them noticed she put 002's figurine up on the mantle)

I always love your work. Good Night, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays.

Signing out, VShuffler42

When do we get the crossover where 002 becomes GLaDOS?

Well uh... at least she is clearer than a Malkavian vampire ?
She doesn't seem to realize that she is not as clear as she think she is , which remind me of a disorder a once read about , but can't seem to remember.
Still proof that she is certainly not dumb.

It's seems that 001's biggest obstacle is just a lack of knowledge about the world.

I love being reminded of that scene in Garfield's Christmas where the adult kids are arguing for opening presents any time after midnight.

“Indeed so,” Turing said, pulling 001 in for a hug. “Blod gess us, evvy bun.”

We have a phrase in my family that's kinda like that, we say "Aba nada." It's actually a highly mumbled and bastardized version of "Have a nice day."

Sorry I was so late to the party. This was an awesome story to read, and loving the family that was set up here.

One of the things I always liked about your stories was the small details that were thrown in to help the characters be themselves. Thank you so much, and you got this!

Merry Christmas (belated...)

Auntie got big balls? Me get big balls! We got da biggest balls of dem all!

Later, the 4 bots would form a band together, where 001 would don a school boy uniform and cap as a costume. The name of the band was “DC/AC”.

“My point is that this voice box right here will make you sound a bit more, ah, amicable,” Cobbler explained, “instead of like a demon gargling gravel. No offense.”

Imagine if he’d tried to get a really cultural job instead of being a guard...


Such a sweet story for Christmas :twilightsmile:

It feels so good to read something about Turing Test and her siblings again. Their are all so sweet on their own way.
But most of all I enjoyed 002 the most. She may be calculating and cold to the world she was born into...but even she cares for Turing and see her as an important part of her life.

I wish you and all other readers :

Merry Christmas and a happy new year! :pinkiehappy:

P.S.: May I make a guess about the reference of the story title?

"Heartaches By The Number" by Guy Mitchell? :ajsmug:

Twilight spit her tea out. “Turing!”

Discord: *sniff*They grow up so fast. The flat delivery actually makes it even better.

Sounds like aphasia. Where you believe you're speaking clearly when it's actually all gibberish.

There's also a variant where you experience "I can't remember this common word, it's on the tip of my tongue" for basically 3/4 of every sentence.

9367584 Programmed with multiple techniques.

001 is actually quite smart, it's just none of it comes out of her mouth quite right, so everyone else gets the impression she's mentally challenged.

Well yes, I knew that, she is very smart. She just can't communicate well. I did not mean mentally challenged as in not intelligent or dumb. I meant mentally challenged as in she can't communicate her ideas, emotions, and thoughts well. That is still a form of mentally challenged because she has trouble connecting what happens on the inside and what happens on the outside.

I have known many people that are mentally challenged who are extremely smart.

I hope this clarifies what I said.

Signing out, VShuffler42

I haven't even read it yet (going to in a bit) and I'm already super duper excited! :rainbowkiss:

Ahh, nice. :)
I may have gotten to it a few days after Christmas, but it still had some effect. And, hey, the bit about the new year's still good, and we're not certain just how Hearth's Warming wraps to our calendar, perhaps. :D
Thanks for writing. :)

The bit about the family tradition of having someone pass out gifts brought back some of my own holiday memories; every year from as far back as I remember to at least when I moved away from home, I think it was (and I did most of my growing up near a college town, so moving away from home was after I got my bachelor's degree), we'd go down to my paternal grandfather's house, where a bunch of other members of my dad's side of the family would gather (my mother's family unfortunately lived significantly further away), and when it came time for presents, he (my paternal grandfather) would sit by the tree in the living room, call out names, and pass out the gifts. :)

“Tch. Right. And maybe changelings will turn pastel.” As she moved back into the mist, she paused, looking over her shoulder. “...Happy Hearth’s Warming, 003.”

Alright, looking forward to next Hearthswarming then :p

Counting on Turings memory to recall and hold her to that!

“Nappy Fart’s Warming, evvypony!” Acceptable!

001 is a precious, beautiful cinnamon roll, and I'm delighted to get a chapter from her perspective. She was my personal most beloved character from the main story. Her fluid transitions from ridiculous antics to genuinely affecting pathos and back again must have been tough to write, but I found it all very endearing.

Woah 8 chapters? I was expecting a one shot let alone 8 chapters either way I'm very happy for this

Awwwwwwww. This was so sweet. Oooo turning you cheeky girl

Hmm very interesting to see how 001 thinks. It's like she's smarter while thinking internally but acts really childish on the outside

Ah 001 is so sweet and innocent

I thought the guard said mister turing at first XD

I sense another story coming our way in the near future

And 001 continues to be cute ^^

Yay robot family traditions!!

*cries happy tears* this chapter was very heartwarming and I'm actually crying irl from how wonderful this is

Thank you very much for making this amazing story and thank you for the work you put into these stories and happy new year ^^

And a very happy new year to you too!

There were so many peaches before. The branches were once so laden with the fruit that they bent and drooped under their weight. The great machines piloted by our family’s workers swept through the lanes to harvest them by the thousands. Auntie would always save some to use in her recipes… but now they are gone. I cannot imagine why.

......001's inner thoughts? Holy shit. She's... she's actually incredibly articulate on the inside. And yet she's still an adorable cinnamon roll. God I love her.

The titles have been 31487... and the chapters were about 003, 001, 004, all three of them (which adds up to 008), and 004 and 003 (which adds up to 007)... "Minus One" worries me.

> Minus one.
Oh. OH. 000 was the golem, which would make -01... Georgia. And minus one because she's... and double-meaning since 002 isn't here...

God this chapter was emotional.

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