• Member Since 27th Mar, 2013
  • offline last seen Sep 12th, 2015

Draconian Soul


Proof that I'm not dead. I was just in a slumber, waiting for reason to rise again. I might have found that reason.

T

Meet Lavender, a rare offspring brought into the world by a loving dragon and a beautiful pony. She is told constantly by her parents that she is a beautiful gift of nature, but she is reminded everyday about just how different she is from the rest of the world. She is going to learn very rapidly how cruel and unforgiving the world can be for anything different from them.

Follow the journey of Spike, Rarity, and their offspring Lavender from birth to adulthood as they try to survive prejudice, natural impulses, and even their relationship between each other.

The character of Lavender and the artwork included all belong to Carnifex
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Someone actually thought this fic was worthy to be in the Twilight Library. Well... if you say so.

Chapters (14)
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Comments ( 1613 )

Looks interesting. I will read this in due time.

Pretty good. I've been waiting for a fic like this.

A few issues though...you're missing quotation marks in some places. Suggest getting an editor?

2957599
Could you point out where? I'll correct if it's too distracting.

Also, I already have an editor and I feel he did a pretty good job. Thanks for the suggestion though :pinkiehappy:

No words can express what I'm feeling right now. (That's a good thing.)

2957610
Well let me try to emulate how you feel through emotes.

:pinkiegasp::raritystarry::twilightsheepish::pinkiesmile::yay::pinkiehappy::heart::moustache:

Look about right?

Max

You did a wonderful job... this is so perfect, i always loved velvet from carni! Make us proud boy :heart:

:yay: :yay: Congrats to :moustache: and :raritywink:, you are the proud father and mother to possibly the most unique being in all of Equestria! Not bad for the new foal; after all, her parents just happen to be the Crystal Savior and the Element of Generosity, respectively. No pressure.

Almost waiting for the paparazzi ponies to arrive for the first pictures of the newborn.....:coolphoto:

A wonderful start to what seems to be a wonderful story. I can't wait to see how Spike, Rarity, and now Lavender handles the typical day-to-day of life as being the first (I hope) successful and loving inter-species married couple as well as how it takes the first known living hybrid. I like the name dracony for her species, I prefer kirin, but I undestand wanting to be different.

Oh, I've already seen the pictures of her, so I can't wait for more of the story!!

2957609
Do I have to? :ajbemused:

Kidding, kidding...

That will do nicely,”

missing beginning quotation mark.

You have nothing to worry about.

missing beginning quotation mark.

“It didn’t take much for Spike

quotation mark shouldn't be there.

you have every right to watch me feed her."

Small error: the period should be a comma. Normally I wouldn't point it out but you've used the correct way all the other times.

You would find that a good reason to stay at the hospital,”

missing beginning quotation mark.

2957609

Also, small nitpick, 'mommy' should be capitalized.

:pinkiehappy: This was a great start! I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter.

Not bad, very cute, I loved the pictures during the story they were adorable as all hell. :raritystarry:

Fascinating... did you draw the pics yourself?

2958449
Sadly no (though I could if I wanted to :moustache:)

They all belong to the guy I linked in the description.

The pictures made it more than worth it. I haven't read a picture book in soooooo long. I hope you keep the pictures in subsequent chapters. It. Will make. my day. ploop ploop ploop.

fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/p480x480/480623_485465194842718_957869402_n.png

Hmm, I like it! You have the characters down pretty well, your dialogue is believable. All in all, I think you have the foundation of a pretty good story!

A few things I noticed, though. You're missing a bunch of opening quotes for dialogue. Also, remember, that if you have a speech tag in the middle of the sentence, you end it with a comma. You only give it a period if it's a new sentence:

"And that," Jake said, "is how you punctuate and capitalize sentences."

"Oh, I get it now!" Draconian Soul nodded firmly. "Thanks for the feedback. God, you are so smart and handsome and charming and sexy and a great writer and—"

*SMACK*

Heh... sorry. One last thing. Now, this is just a personal preference, but I hate speech tags, and I avoid them whenever possible in my own writing. However, if you use them, you can stick with "said," or "asked." Those words are like ghosts; people just run right past them and never think about it. Once you start trying to "spice it up" by using words like "stated," "inferred," "questioned," people notice them. Again, just a personal thing. :twilightsmile:

So... yeah, I really like this! Faved for more! :pinkiehappy:

2958612
If I said no would you hate me? :twilightsheepish:

Naw, just kidding, I'll stir some more up soon

wow i bet you whe she grow and love her dad will be mad! I say this she look cute as a baby

I looked at the description, I looked at the picture, do I even need to read it to know it's awesome? Fuck no.:pinkiehappy:

Need some new stuff to read, this will fill that emptiness inside! Can't wait to get to the draaaaaaaaaaaammmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~~:twilightsmile:

Nice start as I hope Sweetie belle plays a role in being an Aunt to the little one...:unsuresweetie:

Most reptiles have a sharp, cranial protuberance called an "egg tooth" which they use to break through the shell of their egg upon hatching. I think it would be rational that a hybrid spawned from a pony and a dragon would keep this important evolutionary trait.

So, in my headcanon, if a mare were to get pregnant by a dragon... well, the situation would basically boil down to this:

:pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::raritydespair::raritydespair::raritydespair:

Anyway, I enjoyed the story and I'm eager to find out what happens next :twilightsmile:

2958737
Oh Flim...you're so quick eager to see the drama unfold aren't you. :duck:

2958748
.......
Yeah, brb I'm heading to the bathroom :pinkiesick:

2958768
There's always a possibility of magical assistance during just before the birth :twilightsmile:
They would have to be pretty quick, though :pinkiecrazy:

2958756 What can I say? Everything's absolutely perfect, which means something terrible is just around the corner.

2958477

I like your little "lesson" thing. It shows what it all looks like instead of just listing out a bunch of abstract rules to follow. Kudos are due. Take them:moustache:.

That being said I disagree with your reluctance towards using things other than "said" or "asked'. I am NOT an exponent of "Said is dead", but that doesn't mean you should limit your toolbox. I'd argue that if there's a case where you don't want to use anything other than "said" you might as well just opt out of using anything. Assuming that you've already established who is talking, it can usually just be inferred, thus relieving your actual prose of the burden. The only time where you should use "said" is if you don't need to add any extra information, and it's the first time the character is speaking in the conversation; or if there are more than two people speaking. (Hmm... also perhaps if you have one character speaking several sentences back to back, and want to separate them, AND you don't want to add any extra information.)

I'll say that I'm personally a fan of "intoned", "stated" (especially "stated levelly" or "levelly stated"), and "questioned". They imply slightly different things. "Intoned" is used for someone speaking up, either giving their opinion on a matter, or responding to a request; "stated" implies a very absolute nature of what is being said, as though the thing were absolute fact; "questioned" can be used to show that they are not necessarily asking for information more than doubting or questioning the very premise itself, it's great for rhetorical questions. Assuming you know how to use these words, they can add a lot of depth and color to dialogue--though I'll admit if you're just "trying to 'spice it up'" and don't understand the words you're using you're going to have problems, this is the exact same problem people can run into just using a thesaurus mindlessly. The problem isn't the words, but their misuse.

Beautiful. I loved it. :twilightsmile:

Darn it, Theo.
You've done it again.
All my likes and everything.
All of them :heart:

2958857

I'll give you a few points. As I said, I loathe speech tags and avoid them whenever possible. I may have overstated the point a bit, to be honest. A different speech tag CAN add a bit, but I prefer body language to speech tags and adverbs.

"You had better tell your son to stop picking on my daughter," Spike said angrily.

Tiny wisps of smoke were roiling from Spike's nostrils as he glared daggers at the quivering stallion. "You had better tell your son to stop picking on my daughter."

I guess it's just personal preference.

*snatches kudos and slinks back to the shadows*

The pictures gave me Diabuteeus. MOAR.

2959036

I understand how it is. I personally have a great distaste for first-person narrative. I think that it is inherently weaker than third-person in most cases. There are some sorts of stories that naturally lend themselves to first-person perspectives, Chromosome's White Box is one of the ones that comes to mind. However there are other stories that I wish were written in third-person, such as the Ballad of Echo the Diamond Dog.

Anyhow the point is, I understand having particular opinions on the craft. Totes.

I fear many may get diabetes from this story. I like this story a lot. :pinkiesmile:

This is amazing! I can't wait for more, so I will definitely be favoriting this. Also, I've been wanting to read a parenthood story.

2959284
I'm glad you liked :raritywink:. I technically have two parenthood stories, but that was more unplanned and comical, so if more organized parenthood is your thing, then stick around :twilightsmile:

i loved it keep the stories coming!:raritystarry::raritystarry::moustache::moustache:

The fact that people have thumbed this down makes me RAEG! :flutterrage: Moar plz :pinkiehappy:

I don't like it...



I love it!

Twilight shook her head, giggling at her response. “I don’t think there’s a term for her species, Pinkie.”

I'll give ya a hint, Twilight. K-I-R-I-N. :twistnerd:

And for some reason, I wanna insta-watch you. So I will!

2959385
I take the thumbs down as a compliment actually. That means my story was actually good enough for haters to dislike it out of smite. I find it cute honestly :rainbowkiss:

*No disrespect if you legitimately disliked this story, but next time speak out before downvoting ok :pinkiesmile:?

I sense................something.........abnormal..........
or.........maybe...
DOES NOT COMPUTE
breaks

2959540 Ill try that again

-after reading this chapter-

THERE ARE NO WORDS THIS FOR WEIRDNESS

YOU ARE ON YOUR WAY TO A FAVORITE

YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO FINISH NOW TAKE YOUR TIME

HAHAHAHA

I'm inclined to read this, as it follows a path seldom explored in stories about Spike and Rarity. That said, I have no way of knowing if or when you'll finish it. Can you honestly say that you know those things yourself?

2959598 translation

i have no words for this...but it's weird

but im gonna favorite it for now

dont rush to finish it. take your time.

:)

a dragon-pony hybrid is called a Kirin.

people keep saying she is a Kirin but I believe their called longma:rainbowhuh:

2959713
It could be those...

Or maybe Pinkie was on to something when she said Dracony :pinkiehappy:

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