• Member Since 4th Dec, 2014
  • offline last seen November 11th


One day, you will all come to my funeral just to make sure that I stay dead, but today is not that day | https://ko-fi.com/chillybook


Sweetie Belle is getting to be that age. She's thinking thoughts she never thought before. One such thought is about babies; Where exactly do they come from?

And why is it so difficult to find the answer to that question?

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 149 )

Poor ponies. At this rate, in a hundred years or so, every single one will become extinct. (apart from those eternal alicorns) :applecry:
Hmm... maybe this is what happened to the dinosaurs... screw all that fake Big Bang nonsense, their parents just didn't teach them proper sex ed. Mystery, solved. :ajsmug:



Oh my god that ending though.

To that last question:

Hasbro's merchandising department.

That got really weird, really quickly. And I love it! Liked and favorited.

Okay, that made me laugh... and also a good question since ponies aren't, you know, anatomically correct in the show...

:rainbowlaugh: that last line is a killer! 11/10 :pinkiehappy:
:moustache: Ah Twilight someone called Hasbro wants a new toy line
:twilightblush: what toy?
:moustache: Don't know it has something to do with me and Rarity...
:twilightoops: What the heck is that?
:moustache: I hope it sells a lot
:duck: It's fabulous dah-ling
:trollestia: It's only 19.95 plus S&H.

8010343 Exactly my thoughts.

There is something utterly meta and quantum physics-y about babies in MLP. It's like if no characters ever see where the baby actually comes from, then knowledge about such matters doesn't exist in their universe and babies simply pop in out of nowhere.

The closest character that ever acknowledged the possibility of a process was Mr. Cake when he wondered out loud whether his foals were really his. :rainbowlaugh:

That was...interesting

Shit went down real quick XD

i wonderful poke at Y tv ratings
bravo sir bravo

That was funny as all heck. I am somewhat impressed.

“Where the hell did this baby come from?


“How the heck does the baby get into the mom’s belly?” asked Sweetie Belle. Celestia raised her hooves, calling for silence.

That question is a question my mom didn't answer until I begged her to give me the Sex Talk when I was twelve:rainbowhuh:
I already knew what sex was since I read it in a dictionary shh:pinkiecrazy:
But anyway, loved this story!
Though I really should be studying for my exams, but then again, dumb ponies not knowing what sex is is more important than Algebra.:moustache:

P.S. I don't even know what's the purpose of this comment.

8010307 Well, Shiny and Cadance have obviously done it, even if Cadance (at last) isn't aware of how A led to B...

8010347 I've seen several authors postulating a magical "TV-Y" shield, or physical retractability. Either of those seem reasonable to me.

Oh, my!! The whole story was great and I loved Sweetie Belle just wanting a simple answer and getting frustrated! That last line though....priceless! Great, funny story!

8010307 Improper sex-ed is likely the most terrifying thing I've ever personally encountered. When I was in the 11th grade, I had English with a girl that genuinely believed she could get pregnant if she swallowed after giving a blowjob. It was incredible, and a little bit sad.

Thanks for reading!

8010340 Glad you enjoyed!

8010346 I appreciate you taking the time out to read my weirdness. Thank you!

8010840 I once knew a girl in her teens, who thought you could be up the duff if you sat on a toilet seat after a boy had used it, so your story doesn't surprise me at all. :rainbowlaugh:

8010377 I know it's a cartoon, but the idea that ponies simply have no genitals and babies just appear is the funniest thing in the world to me. It's absurd.

I always found that Mr. Cake thing to be really strange. Funny as all hell, but also kind of uncomfortable to imply, in a kid's show, that his wife may have been unfaithful. That;s why I love the show, for wild moments like that.

Thanks for reading!

8010844 Jesus, how hard is it to properly teach your children how pregnancy and sex works?

Also, I'd never heard the term "up the duff" before, and now I will make sure I use that term exclusively.

8010848 Sorry, I think you have to be British for it to make any sense... :rainbowkiss:

8010851 Never apologize for teaching me British slang, I love that shit.

8010852 Really? I just thought it was a load of old bollocks... :raritywink:
Oh well, you're welcome to raid my Blighty-saturated mind anytime for common expressions and phrases whenever you want. :scootangel:
Now, I must finish my fish'n'chips before I hail a black cab to work for the day, not forgetting my brolly of course... :moustache:

i enjoyed this! it was funny haha :rainbowlaugh:

8010846 Toon physics aside, I generally accept that they do have genitals but everything that would ruin their TV-Y rating is conveniently tucked away (at least in the case of males) inside some kind of slit that is invisible when closed.

There's some actual canon for that - In "A Dog and Pony Show" it was revealed Spike has a mysterious pocket in the side of his thigh that can hide items like the large, blue gem Rarity gave him without showing the least bit of a bulge or seam. If the boys can pack something like that inside of them, both they and the girls have it made in the shade for hiding parts that would make parents blush. :rainbowlaugh:

The answer is factories. In China. Out of plastic molds.

I just assume that the ponies have that anatomy, as would any living thing, and being that it's TV-Y7 they don't actually show those bits on the show. Consider it cartoon censorship, nothing more.

Besides, what sort of self-respecting animators want to constantly draw horse balls and vaginas for a kids show?

8011312 This was never supposed to be a serious analysis of pony genitals. Just a humorous poke at how strange things would be if the show's universe was exactly as it appeared to be.

Of course they have the necessary anatomy. Even if Celestia’s story about praying to Cadance was true, they'd still need to go to the bathroom.

8011320 Yeah, I know it wasn't meant to be serious, just thinking out loud.

Still, can you imagine a bizarro world where MLP is anatomically correct, and there being animators in charge of that?

Lead Animator of new show: "So, it says here that you worked on My Little Pony. Just what were you in charge of?"

Former MLP Animator: *thinks back to those years of animating horse bits on every single pony, then blushes and looks away* "I don't wanna talk about it..."

Well done on being a featured story now, BTW :pinkiehappy:

Hmm. Yep, that sounds about right.

And now we have Google to answer all our questions today.

Yet Cadance a mother has no idea how she had her own child.

8011416 Thanks! I honestly didn't expect for this story to make it there, but I'm glad it did.

8011473 If I had easy access to the Internet when I was learning about this sort of thing... I'd be even more messed up than I am now.

8011497 You know how babies are. One minute, you're getting married, getting through the honeymoon phase, then, next thing you know, bam! A baby appears in your arms.

Seriously, where the hell did this baby come from? Someone please find its parents.

Rarity flipped her tail up and looked to her rear, searching for… Well, whatever it was, it wasn't there.

"Oh my goodness! I've been...I've been censored!" *faints dramatically onto chaise*

If she didn’t go to school, then she wouldn’t learn what she needed in order to go to a good college. If she didn’t go to a good college, she couldn’t get a good job.

If Sweetie no do well in school, Sweetie not get no job! If Sweetie not get no job, Sweetie no make no money! If Sweetie no make no money, Sweetie no can afford BMW 6 Series!

“Mom and Dad are kinda dumb,” said Sweetie, her hooves still covering her ears. “Why do you think I live with Rarity?”


“What does Cadance have to do with anything?” asked Twilight. “Princess, I don’t think you understand. I feel like I’ve read about the process during my biology studies, and I’m about 92% certain that we, as a species, are missing something necessary to—”

“And that, my dear, is your problem,” said Celestia. “This is not a scientific answer. This is firmly rooted in amoramancy, love magic.”

Well that's clever!

“That story you told the girls isn’t true, is it?”

“Not in the slightest.”

“And I presume you also have no idea where babies come from?”

Princess Celestia, the eldest, wisest, most powerful being in all of Equestria, looked at her sister, raising her hoof in protest. For near a full minute, the entire throne room was entirely silent.

“No clue,” said Celestia finally.

:facehoof: Celestia, you useless old nag...

“Uh… Shiny?” asked Cadance.

“Yes, my love?”

“This is going to sound like a strange question…”


“Where the hell did this baby come from?

:facehoof: :rainbowlaugh:

Okay, that was pretty damn funny.

8011530 I'm glad you enjoyed. Thanks for reading

8010575 I've always just assumed "censorship magic". I've even read a story on this sight where Twilight explains that ponies have an instinctive censorship magic that affects their fuzz, hiding anything that needs hidden.

“Okay, Sweetie, er…” Rarity tried to swallow the awkwardness of the situation. “when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much, they… Well, they sort of cuddle and kiss, and then….”

TRIGGERED :raritydespair:

8011584 You're losing me on the smurfs thing, kid

This is one of those stories where the more you read it, you notice little details you didn't see before... :rainbowkiss:

I'm not talking about on the anatomically incorrect ponies of course, thankfully. :pinkiesmile:

Oh man this is just too good. Everything about this story is hilarious

8011608 Oh? Details like what, may I ask?

8011613 Thanks, glad you liked.

8011626 Sorry, all you're going to get from me there is a :twilightblush:

8011579 My parent got off easy, I never needed The Talk. Being an Ashura with increasing access to inherent knowledge of the Cosmos meant that I had a full and comprehensive knowledge of everything from proper cunnilingus technique to rope skills and sweet spots by the time I was 14. By the time my dad asked me if I needed the talk I was like "Why, what do you need to know?"

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