• Member Since 11th Jul, 2014
  • offline last seen Nov 19th, 2020


Just a nice, polite Canadian.


It's official. Twilight Sparkle is dead.

Better luck next time, I guess.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 118 )
wlam #1 · Oct 7th, 2016 · · 1 ·

And no one could tell a difference.

Shining snorted, then added, “You could just say that Cadence here had a bad trip down some stairs back in the Crystal Empire.”

I'm told Starswirl died the same way. Ankle-long beards and stairs do not mix, they do not.

Snow #3 · Oct 7th, 2016 · · ·

So wait. They may be declared dead after the ninth? So... does that mean they don't entirely know?

This could get interesting. Imagine if you will, Twilight using a time-travel spell to go back and prevent her own death...
(So, what happened to everything?> :twilightoops: :trollestia: <You just broke the universe! Now we can start over again!)

Cat’s only have the one life to spend.

That apostrophe doesn't need to be there.

This kicked ass I love death humor


Twilight only needs to be assassinated eight more times. Get to work.

I think I've killed her a total of four times already

Double underlined, Helen. You better be careful. Otherwise you'll be getting a tick on your butt..

And by that I mean you'll be dead.

Double underlined, Helen.

Cadance falling down stairs......why does a certain family guy scene come to mind?

Post vid if you know what I mean

7625060 Well, Alicorns cannot be reborn, so...

Do you have something against Twilight with how often you kill her? I mean seriously, I think you've killed her more than anyone else in the fandom.

This is just the good old usual kind of non-sense I'm expecting whenever I read one of your stories.
And I love it.

Well, that explains why Celestia lets Twilight do all the work now... :facehoof:

[“And you stepped on a rake and got struck in the head?” Luna finished. “Again?”]:pinkiecrazy:

And most importantly, Spike has not one single shit to give.

This was flood. Very good.:rainbowlaugh:HUZZAH!:pinkiehappy:

“To be fair, Celestia, Twilight is technically dead right now,” Luna replied. “I mean, she did fly into a brick wall flying ninety miles an hour. Reading about the history of wallpaper, oddly enough.”

For some reason that only made Shining laugh even more. “Sorry, Cadence, but I guess having known you were good for another eight deaths made it somewhat humorous at the time. And all those cute, little squeak noises you made each time you hit a step!”

That got more than a few good shrieks from the crowd—loudest of all coming from Big Mac, who wouldn’t stop screaming “Nope!” on continuous loop. The mare with the shades only continued to pleasantly much on her popcorn with her head cocked to the side.

Those are just three of the scenes in this work that made me laugh my ass off, and for the sake of brevity I'm not including more.

This is about the funniest thing I've read in awhile and honestly made my day.

And then Discord's part...

For crying out loud, there's only one proper way to sum up this story:


Well. That happened.

~Skeeter The Lurker

You say they only get 9 lives but then you decide you have more stories to tell so suddenly a crack to Gallopfrey opens and they get a whole new cycle.

Was that 'Holy crap on a cracker' a Better Off Ted reference? If it was, you get a virtual cookie. Then ten more for making me laugh harder than I have in days! :rainbowlaugh:

Jesus Christ, Celestia is clumsy

7625701 God damn it... :twilightangry2:

I was so mad about that one!

7625816 Well, what did you expect them to do? End the series then and there? Or keep Matt Smith around for ever and ever for the rest of his natural years? And THEN end the series? :rainbowlaugh:

I laughed at Twilight reading a book on wallpaper when she had her "accident" harder than I probably ought to have. :rainbowlaugh:

I don't often care for silly oneshots, but I gotta admit. This was awesome. :pinkiehappy:


To be fair it was always an option. The Timelords brought The Master back from death with a new round of regenerations to fight in the Time War. The only reason Doctor never expected it is because he was considered more of a sometimes-helpful nuisance and renegade/outlaw, so they weren't going to help him in that department.

I want to hear more about this alicorn repair shop.

I for one would be interested in reading a story about the alicorn repair shop.

this was...interestingly strange. have yourself a like

Goddammit. :facehoof:

Just take your upvote and leave.

“No,” Luna clarified tiredly. “My only death came when I first realized I was highly allergic to peanut butter.”

Eesh, that sounds like a terrible way to go.

7626862 i meant the one where stewie watches a guy fall down stairs and says cool! at the end

Another classic by NBD. This was pretty hilarious mainly due to Flurry having a checkmark before she even knows what they mean. That'll be a great story when she's old enough to wonder why. Everyone is always faking on Celestia, she's awesome man. Even if she is third best princess. Also an Alicorn repair shop is highly intriguing. But it anything it's akin to that repair shop in "My life as a Teenage Robot".

7626859 It varies, but that probably would have been suffocation due to your throat swelling shut. So yeah.

Haha. No need for a dark tag when the title says it all. Great comedy. :rainbowlaugh:

This was silly

In such a good way

What is this amazing bullshet I have just taken time out of my fumping day to read and why is it so gaddamn amazing?!


The queen crysallis part makes a lot more sense after watching the finale.

“Wait,” Twilight continued from inside the box. “This isn’t a casket, is it? Let’s see what we have around here. Pillow. Soft interior. Nice purple dress. Tiara. My Smarty Pants doll for some reason.” Twilight stopped for a second as it all must’ve finally clicked into place. “Holy crap on a cracker! I’m trapped in a casket!

And then I laughed, and continued laughing throughout the rest of the story.
I'm also echoing the thoughts of everyone else by saying that this "Alicorn Repair Shop" sounds very interesting...

Yeah, dark tag for sure.
Shining dropping an infant down a flight of stairs is canon to me now, btw.

7628585 Not just any flight of stairs, though. Remember the stairs to where Sombra had the Crystal Heart? Those stairs that could only be described as "an unnecessarily long flight of stairs?"

Yeah, my headcanon is he dropped Flurry down those stairs.

Yea this really needs to be expanded on. Either its own mini series or an alternate universe setting

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