Twilight Sparkle is being sent to Ponyville to learn about friendship. She's not happy about it.
Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06
Hiatus Bonus Chapter
THE FOAL FREE PRESS
RIOTS, PROTESTING IN MIDWEST EQUESTRIA
Racial tensions have seen an increase in midwestern Equestria after a zebra was shot outside a convenience store in Herduson. The zebra, Whiten Black, was unarmed at the time, and was a suspect in a recent robbery. In a confrontation with unicorn royal guards, he was hit with six spells. The shooting has sparked civil unrest, protests, and rioting in Herduson, where there is a significant zebra population.
"It is unfortunate that all this racial tension has existed, even after all these years. I'm hoping every day that there can be a peaceful solution to this mess." Princess Celestia offered.
The history of Zebras in Equestria began when they were sold or abducted from Afriquestria as slave labor and servants for the newly formed nation.
"We really didn't know what else to do, with their cutie marks being cotton balls and farming tools." Princess Luna claimed.
Slavery was eventually abolished after earth ponies started feeling their glory was being taken, but zebras remained second-class citizens. Eventually, the Civil Stripes Act was passed, desegregating most businesses and schools, Celestia's School For Gifted Unicorns withstanding.
In regards to the shooting, while Princesses Celestia and Luna have pulled out the royal guard in an attempt to ease the tension, leaving law enforcement to local authorities. Meanwhile, our local Princess Twilight has her own, instigating take on the situation.
"Did this zebra look like a thug? Act like a thug? Then he was probably a fucking thug. Correct me if I'm wrong, wasn't there several bubble-blowing pipes on his body that he didn't pay for? Face it, the only thing all of these zebras that are "protesting" want is for the unicorn who shot off those spells to be branded a police-state racist without any due process. Good luck with that. I've never seen a zebra that was good for anything anyway."
When inquired about the "substances" she purchases from resident shaman Zecora, Twilight stood up and angrily declared that the interview was over before walking out.
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HA!
Yeah you just lost a few followers. A few hundred!
No. Just no.
I don't understand the joke.
Can someone explain it for me? Because this looks like a simple reference to current events and nothing more :-\
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Bawwwww, some people can't take a joke.
This was geat.
Substances? Is that the weird white stuff Zecora gave to her to have visions of the past?
This crosses the line so far it comes back around to cross a second time and becomes funny again.
4886451 it is...people just can't take jokes about this stuff, same reason people dislike over the barrel "it was not historically correct and racially insensitive"
For once, I agree with Twi.
Anyone who is "protesting" don't even know who the guy was. Heck, even most of the people there aren't even from Ferguson. Trust me, I live in Missouri. They are there just to "f" the police. Let the family mourn. If there was injustice let justice be served. No need to burn down shops and loot businesses. Justice is never served through harming others. Especially others who had nothing to do with said injustice.
You probably are going to lose followers. But they shouldn't have been following you for you political views, but your writing. Heck if this is what drives people away even with all the other chapters, they need to rethink their lives.
4886451
Local police in U.S. turn a small town into a military state after a protest against an officer who had shot an unarmed teenager who was suspected in a robbery.
Edit: And it gets better after an officer threatened to murder a bunch of peacful protestors.
4886474 I'm keeping a tally, to see if I actually do lose any. I always seem to gain some with every update.
And thanks. I agree completely. I don't view my follower count as some sort of status symbol. By all means, all politically correct social justice warriors should click that Unfollow button at their leisure.
not twilight
I'm already seeing a few less likes and a few more dislikes on Letters after this bonus chapter. I don't really see why. From the looks of things, this is a fairly accurate, albeit substantially abridged telling of what's happening in Ferguson. Apart from touching on race relations, this chapter doesn't even get into the more controversial aspects of this incident. Kinda boring, actually. I'mma go back to watching this Sunday's Last Week Tonight.
Also, I couldn't help but notice that zebras were the stand-in for African Americans in this chapter, but in the Trayvon Martin chapter, it was earth ponies. Consistency!
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Yeah. I understand all that, I'm aware of the incident and of the prickliness of people at large, I just... Don't understand the punchline of the joke :-\
Simply referring to something isn't humor...to give an example, a good socially incorrect joke could be: "Israel has said in a press release that they've finished bombing all strategic targets. From now they'll just drop bombs to pass the time, when they have nothing better to do"
But simply saying: "wow, Israel sure is bombing Palestinians, heh?" Isn't a joke :-\
What kind of name is Whiten Black?
4886544 A punny one.
If anyone who was OK with your humor up until now suddenly flips out "because reasons", they're hypocritical at best.
Also,
4886456
WHY JOKE ABOUT IT WHILE IT IS STILL GOING ON AND FRESH IN EVERYONES MINDS!?
4886536 Yeah, I really don't know why I didn't think of zebras back in the Zimmerman chapter.
4886540 It's the overall atmosphere of the story. I'm simply taking real world events, ponifying them, and injecting the cynicism of my disgruntled version of Twilight.
4886540 Yeah, references isn't humor. (Family Guy and the *Blank* Movie people as a whole never learned from that.)
But if if have to to break down this joke its barest elements as I see it, I might as well. It seems absurdly OOC for Equestria in general when there's a lot of race relation problems to that extreme, which may not be too far off after the debut episode of Zecora. Still, this is Disgruntled universe which is insanely cynical, racist, and misogynistic. Second, the fact that Celestia and maybe Luna had an affair in promoting the slavery of Zebra's because they had cotton picking cutie marks, which is insanely racist and absurd. Then there's the fact that Twilight now gets her "stuff" from a local zebra who sells her supposedly illegal substances.
The entire fic is meant to be insanely OOC in tune with the series and gives a cynical pony view of some current events. The cynicism is the funniest thing here and it's what drives the story. Twilight is a total bitch and someone that should have been a friendless\sexless old dyke of a cunt, but it wouldn't have been as funny if her "friends" weren't there as comic relief and in the style of the old Friendship Reports.
That's the joke.
4886602 Because that was pretty much the last line that Letters hadn't crossed.
4886455
I disagree with you. A police officer is trained in other methods of self defense. I know because in my Criminal Justice class back in high school. We actually had some police training. Of course the local Fraternal Order of Police didn't like that. Let's not talk about that incident because it is in the past. But only if a suspect aims a gun at you, should you pull your gun out and fire. Of course you should try to order the suspect to drop the weapon first. If they don't listen, at least unload two bullets into the suspect. You will find it surprising that police officers in Ohio, especially northeast Ohio. Never fired their gun in the line of duty. Yet in some places they do. As if it is their only method of defense. I'm excluding the whole incident in Cleveland in which police officers where in a high speed chase and fired more than a HUNDRED ROUNDS into the car leading the chase and killed both occupants. The Cleveland city council wanted to defend the officers involved, but other like the Fraternal Order of Police for the Cleveland area wanted heads to roll. It made me confused when Cleveland officers were fired for the incident.
4886614
Oh, ok, thanks! :-) :-)
4886602 Because why not? It's insanely fucked up to a ludicrous degree no matter how fresh it is. Something like this can be rife with comedy like how a small town police force ordered a armored tank because "TERRORISTS BE EVERYWHERE YO!" Shit, just look at the John Oliver video I posted and you'll see that this is like a Kafkaesque comedy. You can protest and write to congressmen to stop the militarization of the police and rabid use of SWAT forces by overzealous and paranoid officers and their sergeants, but you do have to shake your head and laugh at this as well. Not everything needs to be so serious.
Miles, you disappointed me... You really, really disappointed me.
This shit just wasn't soon enough.
The flamewars don't seem to bad in the comments, but I'm going to stay in my basement anyway, just in case.
As for those who are offended by this, I find it funny and I'm BLACK.
How does this story have so many dislikes?
4886715 Because
reasonssocial justice.4886676 I know. I'm trying to develop my psychic powers so I can predict all murders, wars, and terrorist attacks so I can parody them BEFORE they happen.
Sometimes I wonder about how entitled you (feel you) really are to write these kinds of things, but then again, I'm not really entitled enough to make those kinds of arguments.
I live in St. Louis County, just a short drive to the southwest of Ferguson. I actually grew up even closer to Ferguson, in Florissant. Just want to preface this with that information.
So yeah, this new chapter, it's pretty hilarious. I'm saying that as someone who's close to all the crazy stuff that's happening... but I assure you, it's actually no joking matter. St. Louis is a pretty divided city. This stuff runs really deep, and I don't think a lot of people seeing the national news can really appreciate and understand fully what is going on. The national news coverage and propaganda you see regularly now on Facebook and blogs... it's pretty vicious and awful.
My advice for the real world is that you should just wait for the investigation to finish. You should also not be quick to judge the protestors. The ones who were looting and rioting are not the majority. The police who are misbehaving are not the majority, either. There's a systemic problem with the police, and it's more complicated than just this one incident. It's going to take a lot of work to fix things.
My advice to Twilight? Well, you might wanna just go home and light up some of that "substance" you bought from Zecora, because shit isn't getting better anytime soon.
I just about shit my ass laughing so hard!!!
4886618 I call bullshit! I KNOW you!!! You'll find a dozen more lines to merrily jump across in your gloriously magnificence manner!
4886602 The very best time to do so!
4886457 Yeah... the gallon of PCP
[youtube=Ah7ApyeyneY]
What do Zebras do after they have sex?
15 to life
I am so happy you did a chapter on this.
I know you're trying to be funny, but at least I think you should've waited for tensions to dissolve. Someone may get the wrong idea from all of this.
Jeez guys, get over it. I know they're people who are sensitive over this, but seriously. At least he's bold to cross some lines.
It's a My Little Pony fanfiction. Just enjoy the satire in it.
To whom it my concern:
Her Royal Majesty, the glorious Princess Twilight Sparkle would like to issue a statement.
Those substances that Princess Twilight Sparkle received from the Everfree shaman known as Zecora were all PERFECTLY ilLEGAL herbal supplements and various teas. She uses them to help her relax and relieve various tensions that she acquires throughout her day ruling over unworthy and unsatisfying subjects.
Therefore, Princess Twilight Sparkle kindly asks, no decrees, that you "shut the hell up and get off her fucking back unless want to get her on her fucking back."
Wait what? Don't question me slave! Write what I tell you! Yes, ma'am.Excuse me?I'm sorry, I mean yes,mistress.Say the whole thing! Yes, Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle. Good, slave, you may finish now. Thank you, Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle. Oh shit, I wrote all that.Signed,
Princess Twilight Sparkle's personal Spin Doctor and loyal toy,
Neko Majin C
KBO.
i.imgur.com/ViTavIr.gif
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Don`t be a blind SJW, look at all the points of view.
4886640
Actually, law enforcement regulations allow for police officers to utilize one level of force above what the suspect brings against them. If they come at the cop with fists, the cop can counter with his/her nightstick. If they come at them with nightsticks, they can counter with guns. If they come at them with guns, they're within their rights to take the first shot.
I don't know anything about the situation in question, as I actively avoid the news, but I do remember my lessons about how that sort of thing works.
4887204
I forgot about the night stick. Thanks for reminding me of that. Still I think the cop used excessive force considering the situation.
4886486
Most of the time, I can't even tell which side of the joke the joke is on. Is it making fun of people protesting against police because they can or making fun of cops that forgot they brought their real guns instead of their water pistols to work today?
Aand on the floor.
Broke through the floor to the foundation.
Not because it was wrong but they were losing their pride? Pounding the foundation with fists...
Hitting soil with fists...
Mint-Als are legal, right? Or was it pot? You know Fluttershy grows that, Zecora just makes medicines.
4886602 That's the best time to tell a joke. Duh! Would the Ashleigh Ball Pit have been funny if no-one mentioned it until a week later?
4886722 Not a joke here: Justice is blind, she doesn't see where you've been, she cares about the situation on trial. There is no social justice. Sorry to be a buzz kill, and this might make me some kind of white night, but I had to say it.
Blaken White,
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The Ferguson incident is a tragedy. The ball pit at DashCon was actually more comedic than anything. Which is why you shouldn't make jokes so soon after it happened. Which is the case here.
What about the magic of friendship? They could be all slaves
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Screw you dude...
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