Hi. My name's James. If you're reading this, then one of two things have happened. One, you're another human that got sent to this shit hole and was able to find my shelter. Or two, you're one of the ponies that found me and I'm probably rotting in a cell or getting experimented on. If the former, good luck. If the later, go fuck yourself.

Fruit Punch, formally known as Mob, has ended up in Equestria somehow. No rhyme or reason to it. Oh by the way, he landed in the Great Galloping Galla, the first one since Princess Luna’s return... his presence may have fucked with the timeline a bit.

Ever since humans and ponies make an contact, the earth was never the same. Ponies there, ponies here. Ponies everywhere. Sounds good enough, right? Well, there is always that one dude who dislikes the good things...

Anon decides, despite every bit of logical sense, to boop an angelic pony after exploiting her for chores. This could only end well.

After all, boredom is overrated, and the temptation to boop a cute angel pony is too great! Who cares if you could potentially be smited by pony-God, right?

Now if only you weren't literally being sized up by God himself... And said angel is trying to convince him why you should marry.

What.

Art stolen by Badumsquish. Give their adorable art some love~
Also obviously the angel pony is theirs, lmao, hope they enjoy the story

Oh hey, in featured on release day again!

Here's me quietly shilling my Ko-fi, shhh.

He never loses a fight.
He can walk through camps of Raiders and defeat them without firing a single bullet.
He has been banned from all of the Strip's casinos, twice.
Someone once reported that bullets turn around and jump back into the gun when he is fired at.
He has survived nearly everything, hardly breaking a sweat all the while.
So what will happen when his luck finally runs out?

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Story complete on its birthday!

You should probably play New Vegas before reading this.

"Happy fuckin' Birthday you glorious bastard of fiction"
~T6, 11/26/2015

After an urgent summon from Fancy Pants, both Celestia and Luna attend Day court. However, a new precedent is set when Fancy Pants presents a male alicorn to the two princessess, one he found dumpster diving behind his house.

Not much else to say without spoiling a lot of the story. Just jump in and heave a read!

After finding an alicorn filly in the Uppercastes and having everypony she knew turn against her, Lucky Favor makes it her mission to take the filly across the lands of a pre-unified Equus to reach a safe haven in Equestria. But first, she has to hire a housecarla for the job. Who better than this "hyoo-men" she's heard so much about, and who just might be the first one she's met who does not want to kill her and the alicorn?

This story takes place in the RGRE (Reversed Gender Roles Equestria) universe and has been converted to prose from its original greentext state.

On hiatus for extensive rewrites.

TTS Reading of the entire fiction: Courtesy of the FanFiction Reader on Youtube.

Character List: Courtesy of TruthHut (A work in progress)

Handy is not a happy man at the best of times.

He was even less happy to find himself in an alien world that offended the very laws of physics and got injured for his own stubborn refusal to accept the obvious path fate had apparently laid out for him.

For his trouble he is now on a journey, with the long term goal of finding his way back home, only to find himself involved in plots and machinations so far above his head and cares that he quickly becomes a pawn in a game played by powers who care not for his well-being.

Quite like his life back on Earth if you think about it.

Needless to say, Handy does not care for any of it. He is much more preoccupied with the more immediate and pressing mundane concerns of day to day life a human needs to worry about while in Equestria.

Obtaining a new pair of shoes for example.

All this and one almighty hangover, what's the worst that could happen?

Rated teen for harsh language and minor violence

Proofread by JBL, Jude and Usurper

Phoenix came to Equestria two years ago through circumstances unknown. For two years, Phoenix had waited for Princess Celestia and her top scholars to answer one question: Will he be able to go home?

The answer finally came... And it was "No"

His new friends have, surprisingly, found he's taken the news quite well. Very well!... Maybe even too well. However, they never had a reason to doubt Phoenix wasn't doing as great as he said he was. That is, until he tells Twilight Sparkle he wants to explore his new home by walking from Ponyville to the Crystal Empire with no bits, the clothes on his back, and whatever he can fit into his small, makeshift backpack.

My captor was kind, to a point. They provided me with a comfortable private suite, three meals a day, and tried to accommodate any of my needs within reason. It was a far cry from being locked away in a dingy dungeon or straight up killed, but I still was a bit wary about the true intentions of this alicorn. 

A gilded cage, however, is still a cage.

Edited by UnamusedWaffle. and INeedSleep

Thanks to Snuffy for proofreading chapter 9 part 1

Credit to Neither for the amazing cover art!