A Human's Walk Across Equestria

by JadedandDazed

Chapter 8: The Deafening Silence

Despite having seen many in his lifetime, one thing Phoenix never got used to was just how loud waterfalls were. To him, waterfalls were supposed to be serene and relaxing, and they were, really, but he never seems to remember just how these falls can roar; Neighagra falls was no exception. Phoenix stood at the top of the falls, leaning on the railing separating the paved walkway from the natural land leading to the falls. Typically, Phoenix would try and avoid loud noises such as waterfalls; he could barely hear himself think and he didn't like that. Right now, however, Phoenix welcomed the deafening tear drowning out his mind. So much had happened in so little time and he was having trouble making heads or tails of it. First the fundraiser, then Rainbow Dash spilling the beans about Twilight's crush, then his surprise relationship with Princess Luna, and worst of all was his secret coming to the same Princess's attention.

Phoenix's world had already turned upside down long ago. Now, his world was spinning out of control. As much as Phoenix wanted to numb his mind as he stared out towards the waterfall, his mind kept whirling, the world around him becoming a blur as his vision focused on one single thing: Twilight Sparkle. Luna promised she wouldn't say anything... But would she really keep it a secret? Phoenix had no reason to distrust her, but Phoenix knew that if he were in Luna's position, he wouldn't be able to just remain silent.

There's nothing he wouldn't give right now to hear her speak about some obscure topic she was studying. Even when everything soared far over his head, he couldn't help put smile and listen to the mare as she excitedly explained the long history of Starswirl the Bearded or went through the steps of how to properly calculate the speed and velocity of a passing comet. Even better was the way her face lit up when he asked a question on what she was explaining, as if the confirmation of him paying attention and absorbing the information elated her to no end. It was those small moments that kept Phoenix going... Just knowing that he could see that smiling mare soar with excitement at the simplest of questions fueled his drive to get out of bed.

A part of his mind was screaming at him: "Turn around now. Go back to Twilight and tell her everything." Another part told him to keep going, let fate play out; he had already made it this far. The loudest part of him was screaming for him to do something else, "Don't go back to Twilight, don't let fate take control... You're already at the edge, what's one more step?" It was this part of him that Phoenix wished to muffle with the crashing of the falls. As confused as he was, Phoenix knew that booming voice was wrong, one more step would ruin everything. Not just in this journey, but in his whole life. The more he thought about it, the more guilt washed over him; how could he even think about doing something like this to her? The more he thought, the more he just wanted to turn back to her. He just wanted to hold her in his arms, confess everything to her... to cry in front of her for the first time ever. Just imagining it sent a feeling of catharsis through his body... He couldn't even picture how good it would feel if he actually did it. But that wouldn't be fair to her; she didn't ask for any of his emotional baggage. Hell, he didn't ask for it either. It wasn't fair to just drop everything on her. That's why he's on this journey.

Taking a deep breath, Phoenix stood up straight and rolled his shoulders. He looked around at his surroundings, ponies were looking at him, taking a quick peek before looking away and smiling to their friend. Phoenix sighed as he picked his bag off the ground, threw it back over his shoulders, and continued forward towards the Crystal Mountains within his vision. The hardest part of his journey was coming up and he was not looking forward to it at all. Phoenix kept his gaze forward and he walked briskly away from the falls, trying to seem like a man on a mission so no one would come up and ask him about Luna again... The novelty of that situation had quickly worn off. It was long before he found himself on a dirt road, alone. The road winded up hills that progressively got taller and taller, the air becoming colder and colder as he went. Phoenix glanced at his backpack for a moment, considering putting on the winter coat Rarity had made for him, but before he could even begin to think, a familiar voice called out to him.

"Phoenix!" The voice shouted, followed by the sound of a quick trot.

Phoenix turned around, only to be met with a full force impact of a dark blue blur as a pair of legs wrapped around his shoulders. Phoenix instinctively returned the hug, despite the immense displeasure he felt about the certain pony in his presence, "...What happened to cheering me on from a distance and not interfering?" Phoenix asked with a sour tone.

"I'm sorry," Princess Luna sighed as she rested her muzzle against his shoulder, "But I couldn't stand being apart from you, my love."

"...Excuse me?" Phoenix frowned as he looked to the Princess of the Night. Was he really just dense and the two were actually in a relationship and he didn't realize? Was this her idea of a joke or a prank? Whatever it was, he was not amused.

"I know you're on this journey to prove yourself a worthy mate... But I just had to see you once more!" Luna pronounced proudly. Phoenix's frown deepened as he lightly pushed Luna of his shoulder, causing her to frown as she returned to all fours and looked up to him, "Is something wrong, love?"

Phoenix looked at Luna with a raised eyebrow, even for Luna, this "prank" was going a bit far... and seemed a bit to convincing. Something was clearly wrong.

"No... I'm just surprised to see you." Phoenix said plainly.

"Oh, of course. I apologize. Had I been able to send you a message beforehoof I would have, but you're a very hard human to track down," Luna told

Phoenix laughed a bit as he scratched the back of his head, "I am a bit all over the place, huh?"

"You certainly are," Luna confirmed with a smile, "You're looking very healthy. This journey must be doing wonders for you!"

Phoenix's eyes darted around the landscape, trying to see if he could spot any other creature: a guard, the paparazzi, just a random pony... Nothing. "Yeah... It is," Phoenix said as his anxiety rose, "Sorry I'm being unresponsive... I'm a bit tired."

Luna took a step back and examined Phoenix quickly, nodding in agreement, "I can see. Perfectly reasonable. I know! Come with me, we can find a nice private place to relax and take a nap together."

"...I don't know who's standing in front of me, but it sure as hell ain't Luna..."

Phoenix swallowed as he glanced around once again, his gaze finally landing on a spot of woods which Luna seemed to be eyeing. Going with somepony who doesn't seem to be Luna into a secluded area was the opposite of a good idea as far as Phoenix was concerned... However, to Phoenix, this also seemed like a stick up. He had no weapons nor the strength to fight back against whatever creature was impersonating his friend and impersonating her badly at that.

"I'm not sure... I've got a lot more I need to travel if I'm gonna make it on time," Phoenix sighed forcefully as he looked towards the mountains.

"Nonsense! You can have a quick rest with your love, can't you?" Luna asked as she stepped closer and batted her eyelashes

"...Uh..." Phoenix frowned as he took a step back.

"What is it, dear?... Do... Do you not love me?" Luna asked, an odd tone in her voice

"You should know the answer to that, Luna," Phoenix responded, "That is... If you are Luna. But uh, you're not Luna, are you? Twilight told me about you guys. What are you called?... Shifties? No, that's not right."

Luna's gaze shifted down as a sad expression grew across her face, "Changelings..."

Phoenix snapped his fingers and nodded, "Right, Changelings! That's it."

Before he could add anything more, the pony before Phoenix erupted in a colored flame, the visage of Luna disappeared and was replaced with a solemn faced, bug-like pony, much smaller than any of the normal ponies Phoenix had seen, "Oh man..." The changeling groaned in a new voice, almost sounding like a pubescent male teenager, "What am I supposed to do now?"

Phoenix frowned as he looked around, scanning to see if there was anycreature he could ask for help, but it seemed like he and the black-bug pony were the only living being around. Looking back at the creature, he seemed to have have completely laid down on his stomach, hooves covering his eyes as he sniffled. Phoenix didn't know what this changeling had planned, but clearly his intents were not pure. Who knows what the creature would have done to him if he played along. Still, the human felt bad for the trembling changeling in front of him. This little creature seemed... Frightened. Phoenix sighed as he squatted down and sat on his rear. Looking to the changeling, Phoenix finally spoke up, "What's your name, bud?"

"S-Spiracle," the changeling responded, tilting his head away from him

"Hey, Spiracle," Phoenix said with a small smile, "What's wrong?"

Spiracle froze a bit, only shifting slightly as he wiped his eyes, "Y-You saw right through me! W-Was I that obvious?"

Phoenix sighed a bit as he leaned back on his palms, looking up as he thought of his response, "Yeah... But not because you were doing a bad job."

"Wha-What?" Spiracle asked as he sat up

"Listen, if you were trying to convince anyone else, you probably would've gotten them... It's just that you had some bad info," Phoenix told, "I guess you saw those newspapers, yeah?"

"W-Well, I didn't. But Queen Chrysalis did! S-she said it was a sure thing and it'd be easy!" Spiracle told, "Sh-She said if I failed... To not bother coming back..."

Phoenix nodded in understanding as he took in the information, "That's really rough, buddy. It's just that... Those papers weren't true at all; just tabloids."

"Tab-loids?"

"Yeah, they're just glorified gossip basically," Phoenix told, "Luna and I... We don't have that kind of relationship going. Sorry."

"Why?! Why me?!" Spiracle sobbed, "What am I supposed to do without the hive?"

Phoenix sat in silence, watching the grieving changeling as he tried to think of an answer for him... Based on his conversations with Shining Armor and Cadence, he couldn't bring Spiracle with him to the Crystal Empire, but he couldn't just leave him here alone... Even if he did just try to capture him, "I have an idea," Phoenix told, "I think we can both help each other out here."

"Really?" Spiracle asked as he looked up, wiping his eyes once again

"Here's what we do," Phoenix said as he clapped his hands together, "You go back to your hive and you tell your Queen that those newspapers she saw were a trap. They were made specifically to trap her. Luckily, you managed to spot hidden corps of guards waiting to capture you and the rest of the changelings. After some recon, you were able to tell that there's a high presence of guards in this area and that everyone needs to retreat until the guards realize there's nothing for them here. It's a win-win. I get to go on my way and you get to be a hero."

"That... That actually sounds like a good idea..." Spiracle sniffled as he stood up, his legs still shaking, "But... I-I can't lie to Queen Chrysalis!"

Phoenix nodded slowly as he ran his tongue against his teeth in thought, "I get it... But she hasn't left you much as a choice has she? You can't go back to her without me... And I really doubt you could go back without me and tell her to her face that she gave you bad information. I think that'd be even worse than coming back with nothing. If you really want to get back to your hive, it kinda seems like she's forcing you to lie."

"Can't you just... Come back with me?" Spiracle asked, a forced nervous smile on his face

"Absolutely not."

"Figures..." Spiracle sighed, "You're right... I have to lie. I don't have a choice."

Phoenix sighed as he slowly got to his feet, "Sorry it has to go like this, but... I think this is just how it has to go."

Spiracle nodded as he looked over his shoulder, back to the patch of woods he previously tried to lead Phoenix into, "Yeah, I know..."

"I'm sure we'll bump into each other again someday," Phoenix said with a laugh

"Oh definitely," Spiracle chortled, "Well... Till next time."

Phoenix watched as the changeling turned to the woods and began flying away. Once Spiracle disappeared into the tree line, he finally sighed a breathe of relief, "Now where was I?..."

Right, the Crystal Mountains.

Phoenix looked up towards the snowy giants, unconsciously taking off his backpack as he walked towards the mountains. Another cold wind blew past him, causing him to shiver. Looking into the bag once again, he saw Rarity's coat... Now with no interruptions, Phoenix had to make a decision. He left Ponyville without a coat on purpose. The Crystal Empire wasn't really his destination. The mountains were. Looking down at the bag, Phoenix sighed. This was supposed to be the end of his hike.

It's what he planned.
~~~~~
"Luna!" A commanding voice called out, causing the Princess of the Night to jump in her seat and look towards the source of the voice, "Sister! You scared me!"

"You've been scaring me!" Celestia retorted, "I've been standing here calling your name for minutes! What are you reading?"

"It's... A newspaper," Luna answer plainly.

"Has something happened that we need to address?" Celestia asked as she entered the room, taking the paper into her magic.

"Not yet," Luna said as she turned took look away from her sister.

"Rumors of a Changeling Spotted Near Neighagra Falls... No indication of such Changeling has been spotted as of yet" Celestia frowned as she scanned over the paper, "That's where Phoenix is, isn't it?... Do you think he may have been?"

"No, read the next article," Luna sighed

"Human Watch: Phoenix the Human Seen Climbing the Crystal Mountains..." Celestia read, "Well, that's good news isn't it? He's on track to reach the Crystal Empire."

"We can only hope."

Celestia set down the paper as she examined her sister and her sunken demeanor, "What do you mean?"

"I'm not at liberty to discuss the details," Luna said as she looked to the ground.

"...You talked with him, I gather," Celestia deduced, "And he's sworn you to secrecy?"

"That is correct."

"Should we be concerned?" Celestia asked

"...Gravely, sister... Gravely."

"Then I'll be sending out a team to find him at once," Celestia said affirmatively as she went to exit the room.

"No!" Luna called out, "You can't. I made a promise."

"If he's in grave danger then why would you make such a promise?" Celestia asked, frustration in her voice

"Please... If you send guards to take him, you will just ensure the worst possible outcome... He does not want help."

"I need to at least check on him," Celestia insisted

"A regiment won't be able to do that effectively, by the time they're deployed they'll have no chance of tracking him down," Luna told, "It's too late, sister."

Celestia stared at Luna in disbelief, very rarely had she ever seen Luna seem so defeated. Yet her she was, saying that Phoenix, one of her dearest friends, is in danger, and she cannot help him as she's tied her own hooves, "Well... Unfortunately for me... And Phoenix, I think a know a creature who may be able to help us"
-----

Author's Note:

Thanks to Edward Sapphire for the idea of this chapter! Hope everyone has had a good new years!

Comments

[AFestiveTaco77781]

What an excellent chapter! Wholesome too, though I was expecting Spiracle to join our protagonist on his journey.

[Night Spinner]

Was a real treat to see this updated.

[Ruse Spark]

this story has resonated well with someone that i used to be. and kinda still am. ive had similar thoughts. some people talk themselves down and step back from a choice that will cause all around them pain before that last step has begun. some of them... dont make it, whether they realize thats the kind of thing they wanted to do to themselves or not... and yet... some people... take that last step and realize their final choice becomes their biggest regret, and find a way to fight back to the ones they love, a little worse for wear than not.

either one of those three outcomes... i support this story fully, no matter which way it goes. i want to know phoenix's final choice. like phoenix himself thought in this chapter, any one of those three outcomes is a catharsis of sorts, no matter what happens to those who think those dark thoughts. and there is always someone to talk to, whether you/they want to talk to someone or not.

[origami]

Someone to help? I wonder who that could be?

[Oneiro]

Stellar piece of writing.

[resonance]

Good stuff, feels kinda rushed

I thought twilight would have been more jealous of flutters.

The story tags give away the early chapters. But I guess most don’t read those.

[Maramanasa]

How ominous. His guilt and such eating him and the odd self destructive thoughts ain't helping. May he do better and get some help. Heck why not make a lie reality and go with moonbutt.

[horses are fuckin weird]

It's already been over a year since the last chapter? Damn.