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Unpleasant day1,641 words
A brand new reformation program2,493 words
Castle tour2,276 words
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Bar talk3,511 words
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Wandering the woods3,036 words

Unpleasant day

I was walking down the street at friday summer evening. Some sad thoughts racing in my mind.

Suddenly, my phone started to ring. After what feels like eternity, l get it from my overloaded pocket and answered the call.

"Yeah?"

"Hey there bro. It was a while since l heard from you. How's the things?"

"Not very good, l must say."

"Oh... Problems at the job again?"

"Yeah... Nothing new. My boss yelled at me again. One more mistake, and I'm fired."

"Well... Not very pleasant day you have, huh?"

"I already get used to it. So, how's things on your side?"

"Better then ever! My boss give me a rise, and my co-workers are inviting me to the birthday party of one of them."

"Remind me, what is the ratio of ponies/humans you have on your job?"

"Well, I guess... 50/50."

"I don't understand how..."

Suddenly, something hit me in the legs and I nearly fell on my ass.

"What the hell?!"

I looked a bit down and spotted the reason of my distraction.

"Look where you going, chatty!" said the dark purple mare. "You nearly made me drop my groceries!"

"Hey, you still here bro? What is going on?"

"Hold up, I'll be back"

I drawed my attention back from the phone to the mare.

"Well, if you're was not racing like crazy from behind the corner, maybe we will not bumped in each other, so don't blame me for that! What's with that haste anyway?"

"It's not your business! Now get out of my way!"

"Oh, so that's how it is, huh? Well, I can be rude too!" I said, feeling my blood boiling. "So, YOU get the hell out of my way, you fucking horse! Go eat some hay or fuck with your lover! Or both, I dont care!"

The mare was shocked and was watching me with her shrinked pupils.

"Now, if you're excuse me, I must be off. Dont wanna spend anymore of my time on you. Later." I said sarcastically, starting to walk past the mare.

"Oh, wait, no..." I stopped a little behind the mare. "I dont wanna meet you another time... Should I say "Never", rather than "Later"?" I said with a little laugh, taking the sweet victory with me.

I was walking down the street again, leaving dumbfolded mare behind me.

"Woah dude, that was an awesome roast! Who was the victim?" was the first thing I heard, getting back to the phonecall with my friend.

"Some mare, who bumped at..."

"You're messing with the wrong mare, dumbass!"

I turned my head to see that one mare which I roasted a few moments ago. She was still in that spot I leave her. And, oh boy, should I say, she was looking WAY more angrier than me.

"Yeah, sure, I'm terrified" I said with yet another sarcastic intonation. "Go spook some kids on the street or something."

She was shouting more insults in my address, but I couldn't care less. The winner is the one who can walk away from the conflict first and don't spend more of his time to meaningless insulting. A few catchy insults is more than enough.

"Is she still screaming something?" asked my friend on the other side of the phone.

"Yeah, I let her do that. Maybe after some time she will be bored."

"So, you never get the chance to say why is there was conflict between you and her, in the first place."

"Ah, yes, sorry. She bumped at me while running from behind the corner. I tried to be polite, but she's doesn't wanted to solve this peacefully, so I roasted her." said I with satisfaction.

"Well... I guess she deserved that" said my friend with a little joy in his voice.

"Pretty much so."

"Okay, listen, l must be off. Me and my wife are soon going to the cinema. It was good to hear from you again."

"Fine, my best wishes to the honeymooners." said I not without a small chuckle.

"You never change, dude." said my friend with a small chuckle too. "Bye."

I hanged the call and throwed the phone back in the pocket.

(Never thought my friend are gonna get married. But... I guess all people are gonna change sometime around their lives.)

I was still on my way home. Many peoples and ponies was walking past me, and I was deep in my thoughts.

(It was 2 years since Equestria and Human world are connected. Why so much ponies are free to enter our world, but no humans was in Equestria yet? This seems strange to me... Are they planning something? Why world leaders don't give a shit about it? They just sending letters through that strange mirror-like portal for the past 2 years...)

(And there is those princesses, who's sending their letters back. Are they ever gonna show themselves? Or they gonna keep sending their minions in our world untill we get no free space? Feels like...)

"Hey, you!"

I was dragged out of my thoughts and looked back. There was some angry looking bright-red stallion, starring right into my soul.

"Are you saying this to me?"

"Yes!" said the stallion with so much anger, that I become worried for a few seconds, but quickly calmed myself.

"You know," said I, trying to be as polite as possible, "I have a name."

"I don't care about your name! I'm here to teach you a lesson!"

"What lesson? Thanks for the offer, but I graduated from the school years ago."

A smirk appeared on stallion's face.

"Oh, I see, you're the comedy king. Bravo!" said the stallion with obvious sarcasm.

"Oh, thank you, kind sir, I'm fluttered. Is there anything else you want from me?"

"Don't you know how to treat ladies, jerk?" said the stallion, erasing his sarcastic smirk.

"What do you mean by..."

The realisation hit me like a truck.

"Oh, so you're the lover of that rude mare?"

"How dare you! We are happily married couple!"

"Yeah, yeah, that bullshit about getting married again. Getting bored from hearing this over and over again. So, are we finished? I have a stuff to do."

Suddenly, I noticed that my argument with that stallion are attracting more and more attention. There already was a small crowd around us, watching what is going on.

(Shit! That is not very good...)

"You're not going anywhere until you apologize to my wife!"

After that being said, that same mare who I roasted 10 minutes ago walked to the stallion, and stopped at his side.

"I told you were messing with the wrong mare!" said the mare with an evil smirk.

"Oh, you are here too..." I said with a little dissapointment in my voice "And I was hoping not to see you again... Am I asking too much?"

"Apologize now!" said the stallion through the gritted teeth.

"And what if say "no"?" said I, feeling that my blood boiling once again.

"Then I'm gonna beat you up, teach you how to treat ladies, and then MAKE you apologize!"

"And what is the succeed rate of your plan by your thoughts, may I ask?" said I, narrowing my eyes.

"Not less than 101%!"

"Well, I think It's actually are..." I paused and portrayed a thoughtful look "Is there a number lesser than 0?"

"That's it, jerk! You're going down!" screamed the stallion.

By this time, crowd was big enough to surround us completely. Some of them was screaming "Fight, fight!", the others wanted this to end peacefully. Not a single person was silent.

(I guess ponies would be cheering for that red jerk... Hope humans would be on my side.)

"Okay then, shorty, show me what you got!" screamed I at the top of my lungs.

I heard the massive cheering after that was said.

"You asked for this!" screamed the stallion and started charging towards me.

(Oh shit!)

I dodged his attack and he got past me. He slipped a bit forward, stopped and turned back to me.

"Are you scared already? Humans is no match for a earth ponies in strength!" said the stallion with a smirk.

"Winner is not that who stronger, but smarter!"

"Well, let's see how your smartness are gonna help you in this fight! Because I'm gonna..."

He never finished his speech. I hit him in the nose. Blood started running from it.

"See? Told you it's not the stro..."

I never finished my speech either. The stallion hit me in the chest with his head and I fell on my spine.

(Shit, I was talking too much too...)

Sharp pain hit my head, I was unable to stand-up. The stallion walked over me, raising his hoof to hit me in the face. Blood from his nose was dripping on me.

(So, this is how I'm gonna die? Pathetic...)

"I give you the last chance to apologize to my wife, human. Think wisely now."

"Go eat a dick, shithead! I'm not gonna apologize!" said I with a greeted teeth.

"I guess you're not as smart as you portrayed yourself."

I already accepted my fate, but suddenly, there was a siren coming. Stallion looked up and then back to me.

"You got lucky, buddy!" said the stallion and walked away from me, waiting for the police to arrive.

I remained still on the asphalt sidewalk, breathing heavily, as I was feeling blood under my head.

(Well, I guess if it's not him who's gonna kill me, it's gonna be a blood loss or head trauma.)

I started to feel woozy, as things started to get darker.

(That's it...)

Everything l heard was like if the sound coming through a tunnel. Darkness was getting stronger every second.

"Everyone freeze! Don't move an inch!"